Proof of Loan

ILoveYourVibes

I think people are being a bit cynical.

punisher5112

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I think people are being a bit cynical.

You the friend:-)....

I honestly don't think so, he lent €60 which if it were me and I owed someone €2 I'd go out of my way to get it back.


A friend wouldn't ask if they're a real friend to be honest.....


Even family it's a huge risk and when it comes to money it's extremely messy.

Op if you're in the position where €5k loss you can live with them fire away but I can honestly say you not getting the €60 back should be the biggest red flag and flashing lights one will ever see, I get they're most likely stuck and you feel pressured or if they're really good at playing then you nearly feel obligated to help or give away your savings....


Its like the sh1te I've had to listen to over the years oh your lucky to have a job and I'd do it for half etc etc etc..... The place is hiring and has been for years so if it's so good then why don't they go for it.....

ILoveYourVibes

punisher5112 wrote: »

You the friend:-)....

I honestly don't think so, he lent €60 which if it were me and I owed someone €2 I'd go out of my way to get it back.


...

no

if someone owed me 60 euro i would forget.:rolleyes:

Hoboo

Adolin wrote: »

Thanks to all for the helpful points. Now that I've thought about it, I did lend them money a couple of years ago but they never paid me back. It wasn't much, around €60, but still it was never mentioned again.

At the very least I'll insist that we agree to something that is indisputable should I decide to loan them the money. Then should it ever arise that they won't pay it back they can't say that they didn't get it. If there's any hesitation in what I'll demand then I'll know not to go ahead with it.

Agree to something indisputable? Without professional advice, a good solicitor nevermind a barrister would make what you think is indisputable to highly disputable while having their breakfast.

punisher5112

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

no

if someone owed me 60 euro i would forget.:rolleyes:

I am actually owed €5k I'll never see it either, went to court was as much use as getting a blank piece of paper.

Any chance you could spot me a €60 seen as you would forget.

Adolin

Well she got in touch again yesterday evening on this & I said that I couldn't give her the loan. I stated that although I have that amount & probably that again, I couldn't afford to loan it.

I pointed out that she could go to a credit union or bank but she said 'they don't do that anymore'. I said was that to do with the coronavirus & she said yes. That kind of set off a red flag for me, banks & credit unions are still loaning people money. I know you need to save for 3 months in a credit union before you can apply for a loan but I think a bank is more flexible on this?

Granted, I made a major error on this at the beginning as I suggested I would loan her the money for what she needed. At the time I was completely up to my eyes in work when she called me on it & was not focused on what I was saying (I mentioned this again yesterday evening as well that at the time I wasn't thinking clearly but she just brushed it off).

Only after the fact did I process what it was that she were asking I then realized I'd made a mistake. My mind is all over the place recently due to work (both with the huge amount of it at the moment & the fact that I likely won't be working where I am at the start of next year), the coronavirus, a kid with health problems & several other issues.

She is working at the moment though & needs it to buy a car as where she is working is too far away & for rent for where she is staying. She isn't willing to use public transport due to Covid as well due to her being in an at risk group, hence the reason why I said I would lend the money. It looks like 3K would be spent on the car with the remainder going on the rent I think. She is living with her boyfriend at the moment but he isn't working.

Is that too much for a car loan? Probably, but the older & cheaper a car is, the more money will have to be put to it for maintenance, insurance & so on.

I know I've put my foot into this in a bad way but now I'm feeling pressured to loan her the money even though she hasn't paid me back before. Plus, she has treated me badly in the past on more than one occasion (none of which had anything to do with money), which is another reason why I'm very hesitant to go forward with this.

What a ****ing mess I've put myself in.

punisher5112

Adolin wrote: »

Well she got in touch again yesterday evening on this & I said that I couldn't give her the loan. I stated that although I have that amount & probably that again, I couldn't afford to loan it.

I pointed out that she could go to a credit union or bank but she said 'they don't do that anymore'. I said was that to do with the coronavirus & she said yes. That kind of set off a red flag for me, banks & credit unions are still loaning people money. I know you need to save for 3 months in a credit union before you can apply for a loan but I think a bank is more flexible on this?

Granted, I made a major error on this at the beginning as I suggested I would loan her the money for what she needed. At the time I was completely up to my eyes in work when she called me on it & was not focused on what I was saying (I mentioned this again yesterday evening as well that at the time I wasn't thinking clearly but she just brushed it off).

Only after the fact did I process what it was that she were asking I then realized I'd made a mistake. My mind is all over the place recently due to work (both with the huge amount of it at the moment & the fact that I likely won't be working where I am at the start of next year), the coronavirus, a kid with health problems & several other issues.

She is working at the moment though & needs it to buy a car as where she is working is too far away & for rent for where she is staying. She isn't willing to use public transport due to Covid as well due to her being in an at risk group, hence the reason why I said I would lend the money. It looks like 3K would be spent on the car with the remainder going on the rent I think. She is living with her boyfriend at the moment but he isn't working.

Is that too much for a car loan? Probably, but the older & cheaper a car is, the more money will have to be put to it for maintenance, insurance & so on.

I know I've put my foot into this in a bad way but now I'm feeling pressured to loan her the money even though she hasn't paid me back before. Plus, she has treated me badly in the past on more than one occasion (none of which had anything to do with money), which is another reason why I'm very hesitant to go forward with this.

What a ****ing mess I've put myself in.

That's not a friend to be fair.


Seriously keep your money.
Let her and the boyfriend sort it out and he could easily get work, they are hiring in many places.

The guilt trip is been used, let her ask her family.
She can use transport and be careful, how can she work if she goes by that stance?

Honestly I wouldn't be giving it.

amdublin

Do NOT punish yourself over this. You are human. You are allowed say you would do something (not thinking about it and saying yes) and then actually think about it and change your mind and say no.

Especially when it comes to money.

Stick to your guns. "I am sorry, I can't give you the loan. I am sorry I said I would, I've thought about it some more and have come to the decision it is not something I can do".

Fact of the matter is if you lend this money you will not get it back.

Frankly your friend should respect your decision.

If you lose this person as a friend over this what does it tell you?

qwerty13

Why on Earth did you tell her you had 10k!! Bloody hell OP, I know you’re stressed over work, but you have to be more careful about what you say.

A list of reasons why you absolutely should not ‘loan’ her the money:
- she has treated you badly in the past
- she has a history of not paying you back
- she’s putting pressure on you and trying to guilt trip you
- she lied about the possibility of getting a credit union or bank loan
- she’s already in debt over her rent, how is she going to have any ability to pay you

She is going to have to ask her family. Or use public transport. This is not your problem to solve. You have turned yourself into an easy soft touch option for her, so I’m betting she thinks she can push you into handing over the money. To be fair to her though, you actually suggested loaning her the money in the first place.

Tell her that your job circumstances are going to change, and that you just can’t afford to loan her any money. End of conversation about it.

Riesen_Meal

Please whatever you do, do not give this supposed friend the money, or any sum, it is just going to cause issues down the line for the two of you...

Shelli2

Don't loan it. Unless you can afford to lose it, just don't.

IF you decide to go ahead with the loan you need a full agreement drawn up with a schedule of repayment signed by both of you.

Just proving they received it into their bank is not good enough. They can just as easy say you gave it to them as a gift with no mention of repayment.
Without a signed contract you haven't a hope.

waxmelts2000

People like her prey on good people like you, please take the advice given . Do not loan this money

r439z5ifwt8soq

Adolin wrote: »

What a ****ing mess I've put myself in.

Honestly I wouldn't stress over it at all, and if anything I'd be ghosting that wan.

She sounds like a typical leechy person, who are really good at taking advantage of someone. I can see it in your posts that you're feeling like you're the bad person for it and you've done nothing wrong. If anything you've been put in this situation by her

She's asking for 5 grand like jesus, any self respecting person wouldn't be doing that and making you feel bad over it.

Get away from her and any drama which would inherently go with her

Tork

Valyawl wrote: »

People like her prey on good people like you, please take the advice given . Do not loan this money

This ^^

OP, you seem to be a nice person and a good friend. But are you also a people pleaser and a bit soft? It looks like this person targeted you because she knew she could get an easy five grand out of you. The Chinese Communist party would be delighted with the number of red flags showing up here. I'm a bit shocked that you told her how much money you've saved. I've never had a conversation like that with any of my friends and don't ever want to. My finances are none of their business and vice versa. It would appear you need to learn how to stop divulging such personal information.

If your friend and her boyfriend can't afford to keep up their rent payments as things stand, what makes you think they'll manage once they've got a car to run and a loan to repay to you? She would be better off buying a load of N95 masks (the ones they use in hospitals when treating Coronavirus patients) and taking the bus. They're not cheap but when you compare the cost of those to what you'd pay for a car, it's a no-brainer.

None of this is your problem and you shouldn't be made feel guilty about it. It's up to her and her boyfriend to sort their finances out and buy their own car if they need one. I hope you stick to your guns and continue to say No.

Why are you still friends with her if she treated you badly in the past and didn't repay a previous loan? Have you no other friends?

Sephiroth_dude

Adolin wrote: »

Thanks to all for the helpful points. Now that I've thought about it, I did lend them money a couple of years ago but they never paid me back. It wasn't much, around €60, but still it was never mentioned again.

At the very least I'll insist that we agree to something that is indisputable should I decide to loan them the money. Then should it ever arise that they won't pay it back they can't say that they didn't get it. If there's any hesitation in what I'll demand then I'll know not to go ahead with it.

If they can't be arsed paying back 60 euro what makes you think they'll pay back 5000?

:EDIT:

Just read your update, she's treated you badly in the past as well ? don't give her a red cent.

Zebrag

Did your friend actually say that her boyfriend doesn't work and she needs money for a new car as she doesn't want to get transportation due to the virus and basically can't afford her rent? She asked for €5,000 and now admitted the car is €3,000 and needs the rest to pay rent? Cue eye rolling here.

That's 3 different stories she's after landing you with and has pretty much outed herself to say she wants the money to piss about with as her boyfriend can't be bothered to help her financially. That's what I gathered anyways. Not that her boyfriend has to help her majorly but given that he lives with her, I would presume that would be helpful if he did work and she wouldn't need to ask a friend for a loan, but that's neither here nor there.

No OP please don't give this friend any money. Regardless of their reasons which seems to me, ridiculous reasons.

The credit union only want you to save for 3 months (mine does anyways. I'm not sure how others work) before they can approve you of any loans (so if she can save for 3 months then she might not even need a loan) AiB can approve you in 3 hours and Bank of Ireland approve you in a day or two. Those are her options, she can look elsewhere for loans. You're not a bank or money lender.

Don't mistake your kindness for a pushover. You're not to feel guilty in the slightest. You shouldn't even have to give any reasons to why you don't want to lend. It's a yes or no and you've said no. Your friend should respect that and take her chances elsewhere. I can't get over how cheeky she sounds to be honest.

As for a friend that knows you have your own life and own worries as it is, shows where her concerns and priorities lie.

Stand your ground.

miezekatze

OP, please don't lend her the money, you will never see it again! You shouldn't feel bad because you previously agreed to it either, it's perfectly fine to change your mind, and 5k is a lot of money. Her problems are not yours to sort out and it's not like this is a life or death situation!

She could just get a car loan from the bank, it's all done online and I don't think anything changed because of Covid.. but I guess she'd actually have to pay that back!

Daragh1980

If you have two bank accounts please do the following

1. Tell her you have changed your mind and will lend her the funds
2. Transfer the 5,000 with her name as the narrative to appear on your statement but just set it up to go into your other account
3. Send her screenshot showing transfer debit.
4. Wait a few days and ask her has she got the funds yet.

Pistachio19

Her means of getting to work is not your problem.
Her rent is not your problem.
The fact her boyfriend doesn't work is not your problem.

Send one more message to this girl and say "I am not in a position to lend you any money." Do not apologise. If she responds trying to change your mind or ask for less money, just repeat "I am not in a position to lend you any money." And then ignore any further messages regarding money. It's as simple as that! If she's annoyed then so be it.

Don't engage in conversation about your finances with anyone other than your partner as it's nobody else's business.

Adolin

She is still asking for it, even after I've stated that I won't loan her the money. However now she'd be ok with getting 2K instead of 5K.

Would agreeing to using the car as collateral in the event that she can't or won't pay me be one way to ensure that I can get my money back? Or can only a company that specializes in loaning money (like a bank) do this?

Dial Hard

1. Don't lend her money. Not two grand, not two hundred quid, not twenty quid.

2. Stop telling people how much money you have. It's weird and quite uncouth.

r439z5ifwt8soq

This will end in tears or small claims court.

If you lend her the 2k, what's stopping her from getting the car on finance and blowing the 2k?

Even if she didn't pay you back she wouldn't own the car either. Honestly your niceness is being taken advantage of

Hannibal_Smith

It all comes down to physically getting repayment and that works the same with collateral. How would you physically get the car from her? How could the car ownership be changed into your name? Or how could you change it into the name of a future buyer (to facilitate getting your money back).

Car loan companies and banks have very detailed and clear loan agreements, after doing credit checks and need to go down the legal route of calling in the debt and getting orders to enable them take the car which is expensive. Will she willingly hand over the car to avoid all this? Would you be happy taking the car?

It's your money and it's your friend, but it's a lot to be asking for and to be hounding you is utterly shameless. Don't do it.

HotMama89

I also was approached for a loan by a family member known for being financially irresponsible and they would know I would be comfortable financially and the answer I gave was sorry my job situation isn't looking too secure right now the company is struggling so I need to keep my savings in case I become unemployed. I suggest you use the same tactic.

Caranica

Adolin wrote: »

She is still asking for it, even after I've stated that I won't loan her the money. However now she'd be ok with getting 2K instead of 5K.

Would agreeing to using the car as collateral in the event that she can't or won't pay me be one way to ensure that I can get my money back? Or can only a company that specializes in loaning money (like a bank) do this?

You're heading for a fall. Say no and block the number. She is never going to pay you back, every single poster here has told you so. You've asked for advice and got a resounding "don't do it". Please don't

Seth Brundle

Adolin wrote: »

She is still asking for it, even after I've stated that I won't loan her the money. However now she'd be ok with getting 2K instead of 5K.

Would agreeing to using the car as collateral in the event that she can't or won't pay me be one way to ensure that I can get my money back? Or can only a company that specializes in loaning money (like a bank) do this?

Just ignore her.
She's not a friend because a friend wouldn't do this to you!
Has she even attempted to explain why she didn't repay the previous loan?

nthclare

Been there, done that and never seen a cent.
People asking friends for that kind of money aren't friends.
You can't prove it wasn't a gift and if they decide to give the bird that's it, and people like that have no consciousness.

Don't be a white Knight, toughen up and mix with real people.
Never let someone take advantage of you, you're not a charity...

mr_edge_to_you

Adolin wrote: »

She is still asking for it, even after I've stated that I won't loan her the money. However now she'd be ok with getting 2K instead of 5K.

Would agreeing to using the car as collateral in the event that she can't or won't pay me be one way to ensure that I can get my money back? Or can only a company that specializes in loaning money (like a bank) do this?

Your friend is extracting the urine.

You (OP), by even considering using the car as collateral, are being foolish. Even the mechanics of such a proposal are nuts - you lend her €2000 to buy a piece of crap old car. She doesn't pay you pay back and then in 12 months time when she's back in the black she has you back a car worth €1000.

Pistachio19

Adolin wrote: »

She is still asking for it, even after I've stated that I won't loan her the money. However now she'd be ok with getting 2K instead of 5K.

Would agreeing to using the car as collateral in the event that she can't or won't pay me be one way to ensure that I can get my money back? Or can only a company that specializes in loaning money (like a bank) do this?

Stop looking for solutions to her problems. Of course she's come back looking for a lesser amount. Once more text her that you are not in a position to lend any money to her. And then stop engaging in conversation about it, ignore all further requests. You will never get any money back from this girl so just don't lend it.

Morgans

You sound like a nice person. But anyone asking for a 5k when 2k would suffice for whenever emergency they are facing suggests they aren't particular stressed about the repayments.

I hope that the person has a lot of brownie points won that aren't evident in this thread as on the face of it, she's not that great a friend.

I'd have viewed the 60 quid that your didn't get repaid a cheap lesson. If you are ok losing 2k, do so. Don't expect repayment, regardless of any measures your are looking to put in place.