How to get through last three weeks of horrible job

Owlet

Help needed. I've dug myself into a great big hole.

I moved to a new temporary internal role (big organisation) at the start of September. I was offered the position as HR thought I would be a good fit for it and I accepted. I only had about a week's notice before starting it. Before this I was a top performer in a role I had been in for years.

On the first day of the job my toddler got a high temperature and was sent home from creche. It took a week to get her tested and the (negative) result through. So my first week was a complete nightmare with all of us self isolating at home and the adults trying to work. On top of that I barely understood anything about the job - very confusing stuff, a lot of acronyms, felt like everyone was speaking a different language. I tried to do lots of smiling and nodding and asked quite a few questions but felt I felt so stupid. I thought it would get better the next week but...

I kept being asked to do things I didn't understand at all. I would try and fail miserably. People would be polite (mostly) but I must have looked like a moron. Some days I would pretend to lose my wifi connection so I didn't look like an idiot in big video calls. One day I completely froze in a big senior meeting and wanted the earth to swallow me up. I started despising every second in the job and dreading starting up my laptop every morning. Everyone seems friendly enough but they do horrible things like put people on the spot to chair meetings and talk at a hundred miles and hour and assume so much prior knowledge. One manager told me 'yes some of this is complicated but some of this is really simple'. Not to me. :-( I feel there's only so many times I can ask them to explain things to me. I know I am not really an idiot, but I feel like one in this job.

I then said that for childcare reasons I would like to apply for a career break (I was only due to be in the role a few months anyway) for a year (which is true but the job massively accelerated this decision - if I had loved the job I would have stayed). They asked if there was anything wrong with the job and I stupidly, stupidly said no, it was all down to personal reasons. My application was approved but I have to work out my notice which feels like torture. I have three weeks left.

I haven't been sleeping because I hate it so much and yesterday morning I had a massive panic attack and phoned in sick with a made up excuse and did the same today. I've spent the days in a state of constant distress.

I would just phone my GP and get it off my chest and get signed off with stress but I am in the midst of applying for life insurance which I was unable to get for a long time as I had a long and stressful cancer scare that resulted in major surgery to remove most of my thyroid in July. I can get it now but don't want to throw a spanner in the works with a stress diagnosis too.

I can take up to five days off sick without a sick note but I don't really want to make up more excuses, I'm not normally that type of person.

HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT FEW WEEKS?

What do I say on Monday morning? Just pretend I'm fine and carry on looking like an idiot for three weeks? Open up and tell them how miserable I am and beg for them to let me go sooner?

I know three weeks is nothing really but there's so much going on at work in those three weeks I honestly think I might have a breakdown (I had an episode like this approx 4 years ago but nothing since). (Yes this episode is disclosed on my life insurance application).

Any help/moral support appreciated.

blackbox

In my opinion your biggest mistake was pretending you understood what was going on.

You're still new in the job, so every time you don't understand something, ASK! There is no shame in not knowing something.

When someone explains an acronym, write it down so you don't have to ask it again.

People are very tolerant of newbies not knowing the score. They will be a lot less tolerant of anyone who is bluffing.

Next week, treat it as a fresh start. Explain that you are new and trying to learn the ropes - especially if you feel "on the spot".

Good luck!

shesty

OP, it takes a good 6 months to get settled into a new role!!And at least 12 weeks of that is going to spent thinking what on earth am I doing, I have no idea what is going on.
On top of that, learning from at home and not in person where you can't have a chat before or after a meeting about stuff you don't get, or about who people are and what they do....plus doing it working from home with a small kid (I know that stress) I mean, give yourself a break.Really.

You are going to spend the next few weeks saying things like "excuse my ignorance but could you explain that to me?" And "before we start, could someone just give me the background here please".Hold your hands up and let them know that you know nothing.There is nothing wrong with it, and honestly I am several years in my role and still have moments of "sorry, could you explain that to me please," as I cross paths with people from completely different backgrounds in my organisation.It does feel horrible, but you have to be brave enough to let people know you are not understanding what is happening, and that it is ok.The best way to learn is to let people know this is situation, and realise that a new job is stressful for the first few months, that is normal.

Owlet

Thanks. I have asked them a lot of questions including a lot of basic ones and put together a list of acronyms for future new starters, so they don't feel as crappy as I do now, it's just that everyone else seems to understand everything and I feel there's only so many times I can ask for help as everyone is so busy. You're right though, I'll just have to suck it up and keep smiling even though i want to die and keep asking lots of questions and muddle through.

ChikiChiki

Owlet wrote: »

Help needed. I've dug myself into a great big hole.

I moved to a new temporary internal role (big organisation) at the start of September. I was offered the position as HR thought I would be a good fit for it and I accepted. I only had about a week's notice before starting it. Before this I was a top performer in a role I had been in for years.

On the first day of the job my toddler got a high temperature and was sent home from creche. It took a week to get her tested and the (negative) result through. So my first week was a complete nightmare with all of us self isolating at home and the adults trying to work. On top of that I barely understood anything about the job - very confusing stuff, a lot of acronyms, felt like everyone was speaking a different language. I tried to do lots of smiling and nodding and asked quite a few questions but felt I felt so stupid. I thought it would get better the next week but...

I kept being asked to do things I didn't understand at all. I would try and fail miserably. People would be polite (mostly) but I must have looked like a moron. Some days I would pretend to lose my wifi connection so I didn't look like an idiot in big video calls. One day I completely froze in a big senior meeting and wanted the earth to swallow me up. I started despising every second in the job and dreading starting up my laptop every morning. Everyone seems friendly enough but they do horrible things like put people on the spot to chair meetings and talk at a hundred miles and hour and assume so much prior knowledge. One manager told me 'yes some of this is complicated but some of this is really simple'. Not to me. :-( I feel there's only so many times I can ask them to explain things to me. I know I am not really an idiot, but I feel like one in this job.

I then said that for childcare reasons I would like to apply for a career break (I was only due to be in the role a few months anyway) for a year (which is true but the job massively accelerated this decision - if I had loved the job I would have stayed). They asked if there was anything wrong with the job and I stupidly, stupidly said no, it was all down to personal reasons. My application was approved but I have to work out my notice which feels like torture. I have three weeks left.

I haven't been sleeping because I hate it so much and yesterday morning I had a massive panic attack and phoned in sick with a made up excuse and did the same today. I've spent the days in a state of constant distress.

I would just phone my GP and get it off my chest and get signed off with stress but I am in the midst of applying for life insurance which I was unable to get for a long time as I had a long and stressful cancer scare that resulted in major surgery to remove most of my thyroid in July. I can get it now but don't want to throw a spanner in the works with a stress diagnosis too.

I can take up to five days off sick without a sick note but I don't really want to make up more excuses, I'm not normally that type of person.

HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT FEW WEEKS?

What do I say on Monday morning? Just pretend I'm fine and carry on looking like an idiot for three weeks? Open up and tell them how miserable I am and beg for them to let me go sooner?

I know three weeks is nothing really but there's so much going on at work in those three weeks I honestly think I might have a breakdown (I had an episode like this approx 4 years ago but nothing since). (Yes this episode is disclosed on my life insurance application).

Any help/moral support appreciated.

As a manager, I think you were hired on merit and ability. From my experience, ask heaps of questions if you can. You are not stupid, that much is clear but it seems like you have let that idea build up in your head.

Usually when people change jobs, it takes 6 months to get comfortable. That is learning the environment, culture, people, belief systems, and of course different processes - the fundamentals of your role.

I think you have this, but maybe are not cutting yourself enough slack. Have the chat with your manager and if they are any good they will understand and try a different learning approach. We are all not the same type of learner.

Some of us are quick, some of us are slow learners. I'm the latter but trust me a it took me a couple of job changes to figure that out because I'm a detailed thinker.

I'm certain, you have this. Believe in yourself.

ILoveYourVibes

. On top of that I barely understood anything about the job - very confusing stuff, a lot of acronyms, felt like everyone was speaking a different language. I tried to do lots of smiling and nodding and asked quite a few questions but felt I felt so stupid. I thought it would get better the next week but...

I kept being asked to do things I didn't understand at all. I would try and fail miserably. People would be polite (mostly) but I must have looked like a moron. Some days I would pretend to lose my wifi connection so I didn't look like an idiot in big video calls.

You need to say this.



You really need to confess the truth of the situation. Maybe they can train you?

If only so they can know their hiring practices are not working. Let them know their HR dept SUCKS.

No you are not an idiot. But you just can't do the job ...

So say this. Ask for support.

Be TOTALLY 100 % honest.

I would request a meeting. I would prepare what i would say.

I might say. I feel really overwhelmed and unfamiliar with some of the concepts and work I am faced with everyday. Explain your personal circumstances.

The truth is ....you learn by doing. But you haven't hit the ground running. So be honest about your ability. That is what i would do.

JustAThought

I’m struggling to get a clear ID on this - you started the new ‘interim ‘ job that was only supposed last for a few months. Since this you have taken a week off for your sick
toddler, and have now applied for a years leave
of absence and are only going to now in the interim job for 3 more weeks. Will
you be going back to this area/job you hate and find so difficult and stressful after you come back from your years leave or to your original job that you were confident in and loved?

TBH its such a mess with insurance etc that I’d say someone close to
you that you had been in contact whth has been diagnosed / teated
for covid and that you need to self isolate for 2 weeks. ‘Work’ from home ( with your poor wifi tactic) and make a better plan to be bones up in HR or go to a different area when you come back or train up so you feel confident when you return in 12 months time.

Life is short. As someone who hd had cancer which they say stress is a big issue for I’d be wondering why you can’t retrace
your staps to the job you loved and were good at. We all make mistakes. Is this new HR position worth the money/ promotion/ effort. There are probably people who would be good at it and love the chance to do it out there - why hold them back?

bertiebomber

ask the hr to put you back into your old role as you dont enjoy the new role honesty is the best policy.