Getting pregnant despite awful HSE, mortgage and global outlook

TP_CM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Id get a mortgage before having a child. If your incomes cant support a mortgage they Probably cant support a child either.

Babies cost way less than mortgages though. It's only when they get older and start picking up hobbies like music or need things for school that they become more expensive. Although I would say even then, they aren't as expensive as Mortgages these days. Unless one buys them a new ipad every month!

Geuze

Gruffalux wrote: »

There is this very strong political motif abroad in the world these days of environmental doom, future chaos and trendy anti-natalism.

I have noticed that, and what a load of rubbish it is.

Real Life

Brandon75 wrote: »

Do you have just the one child ?
Would it put you off having another child if they had a chance to have a disability ?

I have just one child. Obviously there's always a chance any child could have a disability and id be lying if I said it wasn't something I was worried about, particularly because a close friend had a child just a while before with a serious disability that needs 24 hr care. I can't even imagine what they go through.

I can't say the chance of a disability puts me off another child, at the moment I just don't feel like having another child would be a good idea for other reasons, my partner has struggled, and had bad post natal depression. Im glad we had our baby and wouldn't change any of it, at the moment were not even thinking about more children, were just happy with our baby and working on making his and our lives as good as we possibly can.

Floppybits

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Id get a mortgage before having a child. If your incomes cant support a mortgage they Probably cant support a child either.

Probably the 2 most important things to have before having a baby secure accommodation and a job to support them. Once you have those 2 then nothing should hold you back unless you need the partner.

Everyone has been in the same boat with when is the right time to have a baby, there is no real right time all you can do is ask yourself have you got the means to accommodate and support a baby and if that is the case then that is all you need.

Voltairey

Mullaghteelin wrote: »

Now this is hysteria unless you live on one of those tiny islands that's barely above sea level. Or you insist in living on the sea front. We are not going to turn into the horrible Kevin Costner film, Waterworld.
Over the next 50 years low lying coastal margins will see increased flooding at high tide, especially during storms
It's also possible that climate change could result in an increase of productive agricultural land as areas currently too cold or too dry come into play.

https://coastal.climatecentral.org/map/12/-73.9684/40.7033/?theme=sea_level_rise&map_type=year&contiguous=true&elevation_model=best_available&forecast_year=2040&pathway=rcp45&percentile=p50&return_level=return_level_1&slr_model=kopp_2014

On that website you can get a projection with various levels of intervention/unchecked pollution.

We're thinking that once we're both working again, we'll go for the mortgage and find somewhere secure to live. Once that's sorted we'll have a baby and just do our best to protect them whatever may happen.

We've been run ragged by the last year so apologies if I seem to be very fatalistic. I possibly need to see a counsellor about my outlook on life in general.

super_furry

Voltairey wrote: »

We would have so much love to give a child, but some of the time I think that it's cruel to bring a person into the world. Yeah it's an unpopular opinion, but it's something that clouds my decision to just go for it.

Sounds like you've already made up your mind and want people to try and change it for you.

If you don't think you should kids, don't, that's fine.

Wibbs

Geuze wrote: »

I have noticed that, and what a load of rubbish it is.

Maybe it comes from our lives which though far easier than previous generations in many ways we have more things pulling at us. More media firing bad news at us. The old constants like faith and jobs for life are gone for the most part. Or because of more discussion of mental illnesses(a good thing), but whatever the reasons there's also a much greater acceptance, even encouragement of a neurotic worldview in the West. Damned near everything is a bloody "trauma" of late, or is blamed as one.

A lack of basic perspective is missing too. Death in childbirth today in the west, in Ireland? Vanishingly rare. Not so long ago generations of women got pregnant and gave birth where their chances of survival were significantly lower. Never mind the truly appalling childhood mortality. In most cultures prayers to the divine for a safe pregnancy and birth were about the most common. In Rome women first wrote out their last will and testament when they found out they were pregnant.

So in one way I can well understand a woman being worried, even "neurotic" about it. For tens of thousands of years of women's lives they had bloody good reasons to be and medical technology that reduces those risks to feck all is a little too new to overwrite those thousands of years where unlike today women's longevity was on average shorter than mens.

TL;DR? The best time to have a child is now and the world is overall getting better, not worse and Ireland is one of the safest and most supportive places on the planet to have and raise a child.

Voltairey

Wow whatever about my mental health issues, there are a lot of very mean people replying here.

Maybe ye should have a look at why you need to attack someone who is admitting that they're going through a hard time.

Necro

Mod:

OP may I suggest you start this thread in a forum that may have more appropriate responses

Personal Issues would be a better fit for you.

Closing this thread now so feel free to start a new one there.