Carbonara sauce is a scam

Gardesana Pecher

Grest, now we have high society telling us how to make carbonara. I just use rashers with salad cream

MidlanderMan

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Just fukk a pack of bacon lardons into a frying pan and slosh a bit of cream over it. Tastes way nicer too

That's not carbonara.

El Tarangu

I think we should maybe have a sticky on this forum specifying what is and what isn't carbonara.

awec

awec wrote: »

Or mushrooms.

To be clear, there is no cream and there is definitely no fcuking mushrooms in carbonara.

I ordered a carbonara for my lunch from an italian takeaway last tuesday and what was in it? Fuxking mushrooms. What kind of a psychpathe puts mushrooms in carbonara? I hate them so the entire thing was inedible and it went straight in the bin. I even wrote to them complaining, its how strongly I felt about it.

artanevilla

Salato come il mare.

silverharp

spook_cook wrote: »

I'll never forget the joy at my Mam's home made spag bol. She let me in on the recipe.

Fry up onions and garlic.
Throw in the beef mince.
Dunk a jar of Dolmio on it.
Throw in a few random veg and ketchup.

Serve on spaghetti, with a side of chips and two slices of white bread with which to make little sandwiches and to dip into the sauce.

Dolmio is a scam , 2 euro for 500g. all you need is tinned tomatoes and add some spices to it. at least half the cost and less additives

COVID

Gardesana Pecher wrote: »

Grest, now we have high society telling us how to make carbonara. I just use rashers with salad cream

Yes, I do that myself, though it must be Heinz.
Any other type of salad cream is just horrendous.


Btw, I mix melted Mars bar and overripe bananas into my Carbonara sauce.
Is this ok?

looksee

You tell us?

COVID

Be grand.

Mr. CooL ICE

I make vegan carbonara by replacing the bacon with Special K

stoneill

I just want to mention, no cream in carbonara.

ElJeffe

Zaph wrote: »

Anybody who buys pancake mix has failed at life, especially considering you still have to add milk to it, which you'd be doing making them from scratch yourself.

The same idiots buy bottled water.

Ash.J.Williams

Deleted User wrote: »

I ordered a carbonara for my lunch from an italian takeaway last tuesday and what was in it? Fuxking mushrooms. What kind of a psychpathe puts mushrooms in carbonara? I hate them so the entire thing was inedible and it went straight in the bin. I even wrote to them complaining, its how strongly I felt about it.

ha an Italian i know used to give out about us (irish) dumping all sorts into their dishes and mushrooms was the biggest gripe!

although mushrooms and pasta are unreal together!

Mr. CooL ICE

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

ha an Italian i know used to give out about us (irish) dumping all sorts into their dishes and mushrooms was the biggest gripe!

although mushrooms and pasta are unreal together!

Sher even mussolini himself loved chips and coleslaw with lasagne

Cordell

Mr. CooL ICE wrote: »

I make vegan carbonara by replacing the bacon with Special K

What do you use to replace the cream?

Ash.J.Williams

Mr. CooL ICE wrote: »

Sher even mussolini himself loved chips and coleslaw with lasagne

hung upside down on a railing wasn't he?

Mr. CooL ICE

Cordell wrote: »

What do you use to replace the cream?

(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

marcbrophy

Mr. CooL ICE wrote: »

I make vegan carbonara by replacing the bacon with Special K

The cereal or Ketamine?

COVID

I think he's referring to Potassium.

Patrick2010

I don't get this that dishes here have to be always made as in their native country, no cream in Carbonara?, why not if people like it, call it something different if it offends people. Consider pineapple on a pizza an abomination, fine don't eat it, I think its lovely.
Complain that Chinese food sold here isn't authentic?, you're free to make your own chicken feet with rice etc if it makes you feel better. Most people who get the likes of sweet and sour chicken balls from their local takeaway don't care if its eaten in China or not.

crossmolinalad

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Just fukk a pack of bacon lardons into a frying pan and slosh a bit of cream over it. Tastes way nicer too



Same with pancake mix, this is only powdered egg and self raising flour and a load of synthetic chemicals to lengthen the ingredient list to make it look like a very complex product that took a lot of R&D.



What other cooking product is a scam?

Never used pancake mix in my life
pancake mix and similar stuff is made for lazy ****s with enough money to waste

crossmolinalad

ElJeffe wrote: »

The same idiots buy bottled water.

Not an idiot , tapwater here has the taste of it comes out of a swimming pool and sometimes smell's rusty so i wont drink it

Zaph

crossmolinalad wrote: »

Not an idiot , tapwater here has the taste of it comes out of a swimming pool and sometimes smell's rusty so i wont drink it

Same where I am, the tap water is terrible to drink. Although we got a Brita filter jug recently and it's been a revelation.

GreeBo

awec wrote: »

The people that put cream in carbonara are the people that add extra stuff to Lasagne. Like mushrooms or peppers.

These people, they're a lost cause. Don't eat their food, or if you do, be prepared to be surprised.

ugh, never put mushrooms in Lasagne, completely over shadows the taste of the carrots and peas!

GreeBo

crossmolinalad wrote: »

Never used pancake mix in my life
pancake mix and similar stuff is made for lazy ****s with enough money to waste

Its like the people who buy filo pastry, sure its mostly just flour and water, or the lads you see buying cars, its just plastic and metal ffs!

Neyite

El Tarangu wrote: »

American recipes are gas, though:

"Take 4 cups of Aunt Jemina™ cake mix. Bake at 500 for 20 minutes. Finish with a can of Acme® Ready-Made Frosting-in-a-Can"

- wow, I feel like Anthony Bourdain right now, creating this...

No joke, I once saw online a "recipe" for a doughnut stack cake. The author had a blog and shared the picture of her creation and was begged for the recipe so finally went into a pages long spiel of unrelated guff before you scroll down to the very end for the recipe.

It's a bit complicated so follow the instructions carefully:

Ingredients:

• 24 Krispy Kreme assorted doughnuts.
• Cake stand.

Method:

• Arrange doughnuts in a conical stack.
• Serve.

Cordell

Mr. CooL ICE wrote: »

(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

You're a horrible, horrible person!








That's not vegan!

Feisar

Patrick2010 wrote: »

I don't get this that dishes here have to be always made as in their native country, no cream in Carbonara?, why not if people like it, call it something different if it offends people. Consider pineapple on a pizza an abomination, fine don't eat it, I think its lovely.
Complain that Chinese food sold here isn't authentic?, you're free to make your own chicken feet with rice etc if it makes you feel better. Most people who get the likes of sweet and sour chicken balls from their local takeaway don't care if its eaten in China or not.

As you say call it something different. It is something different.

nj27

Ubbquittious wrote: »

slosh a bit of cream over it.

I've got some cream to slosh over you right here

Dacelonid

If you want to learn to make carbonara properly, here is a brilliant (and funny) recipe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KthvXIFhcc

kowloon

marcbrophy wrote: »

Tesco carbonara is composed of 4% double cream!
Can't say that I hate it

https://www.tesco.ie/groceries/product/details/?id=267850431

That's 8% cream! :eek:

igCorcaigh

Has anyone tried those croissants from a can?

COVID

igCorcaigh wrote: »

Has anyone tried those croissants from a can?

I have.
Undrinkable.

fleet_admiral

If you are making Carbonara and are in a hurry pre boil your water then freeze it. Just defrost it when you want to cook the pasta and you've saved yourself loads of time

Rubberchikken

Hate pasta hate carbonara. Hate hate.
I must be the only one:)

Wizard!

That is how you make it.
No cream, no garlic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AAdKl1UYZs

JasonStatham

Man, this thread is rare gold!

hynesie08

fleet_admiral wrote: »

If you are making Carbonara and are in a hurry pre boil your water then freeze it. Just defrost it when you want to cook the pasta and you've saved yourself loads of time

I'm depressed at how many times I had to reread that to get it.....

Porklife

After all this talk of creamy carbonara I've decided to make the real deal tonight, cant wait!

So I bought cream (I wasn't sure if this is required or not, nobody mentioned it on the thread), pasta, wafer thin packet ham to save cooking time, it's also crumbled for extra edge and guacamole. A meal fit for an Italian king!

hynesie08

Porklife wrote: »

After all this talk of creamy carbonara I've decided to make the real deal tonight, cant wait!

So I bought cream (I wasn't sure if this is required or not, nobody mentioned it on the thread), pasta, wafer thin packet ham to save cooking time, it's also crumbled for extra edge and guacamole. A meal fit for an Italian king!

Use koka noodles instead of pasta, italiasian fusion.....

Leg End Reject

Porklife wrote: »

After all this talk of creamy carbonara I've decided to make the real deal tonight, cant wait!

So I bought cream (I wasn't sure if this is required or not, nobody mentioned it on the thread), pasta, wafer thin packet ham to save cooking time, it's also crumbled for extra edge and guacamole. A meal fit for an Italian king!

Where are the mushrooms and peppers???? For God sake woman!

s8n

should be no cream in carobonara

PsychoPete

When making a carbonara sauce at what stage do you add the cream?

Leg End Reject

PsychoPete wrote: »

When making a carbonara sauce at what stage do you add the cream?

Throughout the entire process, you can never have too much.

Porklife

PsychoPete wrote: »

When making a carbonara sauce at what stage do you add the cream?

You basically add carbonara to your cream then simmer whilst continuously adding cream

PsychoPete

Would I have enough in a litre of cream?

Leg End Reject

PsychoPete wrote: »

Would I have enough in a litre of cream?

For a tiny serving maybe, have you any cream of mushroom soup?

PsychoPete

Leg End Reject wrote: »

For a tiny serving maybe, have you any cream of mushroom soup?

Normally I don't like to consume diary products while I'm tripping balls on mushrooms

Leg End Reject

PsychoPete wrote: »

Normally I don't like to consume diary products while I'm tripping balls on mushrooms

The guacamole will take the edge off.

fonecrusher1

dasdog wrote: »

Dolmio is absolutely vile - it's sickeningly sweet I really don't know why people use it.

Students use it. And Uncle Bens jarred filth.

Oh and because I can't see one person has said this, no cream in carbonara sauce.