Carbonara sauce is a scam

Soya cream and lardons
Creaaaaaam

PsychoPete

Leg End Reject wrote: »

The guacamole will take the edge off.

This is all sounding a bit risky

46 Long

PsychoPete wrote: »

This is all sounding a bit risky

Nah it's grand. The Easi Singles really help emulsify the sauce and thicken it up so that it coats the rice properly.

PsychoPete

46 Long wrote: »

Nah it's grand. The Easi Singles really help emulsify the sauce and thicken it up so that it coats the rice properly.

Look at you and your fancy pre sliced cheese

COVID

46 Long wrote: »

Nah it's grand. The Easi Singles really help emulsify the sauce and thicken it up so that it coats the rice properly.

Be sure to leave the plastic on the easi-eingles for extra sauce texture.

sdanseo

Dacelonid wrote: »

If you want to learn to make carbonara properly, here is a brilliant (and funny) recipe

"do what you want with the spare whites, f*ckin throw 'em over a rainbow if you'd like"

I legit almost fell of my chair and died.

Porklife

46 Long wrote: »

Nah it's grand. The Easi Singles really help emulsify the sauce and thicken it up so that it coats the rice properly.

Oohh nice adaptation there with the rice. You do realise that means it's not authentic carbonara though right? The rest of your ingredients are spot on though.

Morathi

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Students use it. And Uncle Bens jarred filth.

Oh and because I can't see one person has said this, no cream in carbonara sauce.

Interesting......

On a different topic, should we be putting cream in a carbonara sauce?

Tails142

Ah poor ol Paolo Tullio, miss hearing that guy on the radio

COVID

Morathi wrote: »

Interesting......

On a different topic, should we be putting cream in a carbonara sauce?

Yes, clotted cream if you have some.

irishproduce

Porklife wrote: »

My mom was quite the Nigella Lawson in her day. She used to make spaghetti and meatballs for us as kids by mixing a can of Campbells meatballs and a tin of heinz spaghetti together.
Such a perfectionist, she wouldn't dream of putting cream in carbonara.
Bellisimo!!

Did she strain off the sauce from the spaghetti first? If she didn't you really missed out

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Neyite wrote: »

No joke, I once saw online a "recipe" for a doughnut stack cake. The author had a blog and shared the picture of her creation and was begged for the recipe so finally went into a pages long spiel of unrelated guff before you scroll down to the very end for the recipe.

It's a bit complicated so follow the instructions carefully:

Ingredients:

• 24 Krispy Kreme assorted doughnuts.
• Cake stand.

Method:

• Arrange doughnuts in a conical stack.
• Serve.

Sounds like Sandra Lee’s infamous Kwanzaa cake:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we2iWTJqo98

gozunda

Chst can no one get traditional recipes right these days!

It pronounced 'carbanana'. The ingredients are not hard to figure out ffs ...

Heres some I made recently...



No cream needed ..

storker

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Absolute nonsense! It's from the cream of mushroom soup.

That used to the basis of a handy pasta dish I used to make some years ago. Fry some onions and garlic, add a tin of cream of mushroom soup, cooked ham, some mushrooms, peas and serve over pasta. It was quick to make and nice to eat, even if your average Italian would probably have recoiled from it in horror.

storker

Tails142 wrote: »

Ah poor ol Paolo Tullio, miss hearing that guy on the radio

Definitely. He was so nice to listen to and so wise on his subject. We did get a laugh out of him one day when he was on Moncrieff following what must must have been a "heavy lunch" and sounded like he could barely get the words out. After the break, Moncrieff announced that Paolo was "feeling a bit unwell" and had "gone for a lie down".

El Tarangu

PsychoPete wrote: »

Would I have enough in a litre of cream?

"Carbonara" is actually comes from the Italian "car", meaning "cream", and "bonara", which is a unit of measurement roughly equivalent to a gallon.

Better to get a second litre, just to be on the safe side.

Niallof9

Yes there's no cream in Carbonara.

However its not a dish of ancient origins. Some think its a 1940s dish due to rations. So i suppose its more acceptable to tinkering.

Cordell

It's a high energy dish intended for miners, so really no need for this snobbery.
Cream, mushrooms, anything can go if you like it, it's still carbonara.
Just like the american style pizza we usually get in Europe is still pizza.

LeBash

Tork wrote: »

https://www.tomdoorley.com/recipe-of-the-week/3g5451qwr96560jpvysksrvxrhnnvp

Paolo (Tullio) ...reserved a special scorn for carbonara made with cream. In his book Paolo Tullio Cooks Italian he writes of this simple dish with a kind of missionary zeal (but is a bit hazy on quantities).

So, the day after Paolo died, I decided to make his version of spaghetti carbonara, taking careful measurements as I went along. So, now I can share Paolo’s recipe in a fairly easy-to-use way.

Paolo died at 65. Its probably best not to follow his diet.

partyguinness

Well I discoverd pasta bake sauce is piss easy:

400g tinned peeled tomoatos
Large onion thinly sliced
2 garlic gloves
Chily flakes
Tsp of sugar
Simmer for 20 mins
Mix in 6 tbsp of mascarpone

(Feel free to add whatever bits your want e.g sweetcorn, herbs, seasoning etc etc)

That's it. Then add to cooked pasta and chicken or tuna, top with cheese and bake for 20 mins. Now look at Tesco's list of ingredients:

Tomato Purée (72%), Tomatoes (10%), Rapeseed Oil, Onion Purée (4.5%), Sugar, Basil (1%), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Dehydrated Cheese (Milk), Concentrated Lemon Juice (contains Sulphites), Garlic Purée, Egg Yolk Powder, Flavourings (contains Celery, Milk), Ground Black Pepper, Stabiliser (Xanthan Gum), Lactose (Milk)

ozmo

Anyone catch that gogglebox episode on RTE 1 few weeks back

Mary Berry on BBC was making what she thought was Irish Stew - A full jar of Chutney she she put in it , what ever that is...!

suicide_circus

Fry pancetta lardons in a little olive oil with some crushed garlic cloves, remove garlic, take pan off heat. Drop just cooked pasta into pan with some cooking water. Allow a minute to cool a bit. Add 4 beaten egg yolks onto pasta and stir, add grated parmesan, black pepper, a little chopped parsley.

Most important part is making sure the pan is not too hot when the egg yolks go in so they dont scramble.

Easiest and best pasta.

igCorcaigh

suicide_circus wrote: »

Fry pancetta lardons in a little olive oil with some crushed garlic cloves, remove garlic, take pan off heat. Drop just cooked pasta into pan with some cooking water. Allow a minute to cool a bit. Add 4 beaten egg yolks onto pasta and stir, add grated parmesan, black pepper, a little chopped parsley.

Most important part is making sure the pan is not too hot when the egg yolks go in so they dont scramble.

Easiest and best pasta.

Is it not like eating raw egg yolk then?

suicide_circus

igCorcaigh wrote: »

Is it not like eating raw egg yolk then?

There should be enough heat in the pasta to cook the egg yolk. They dont need much cooking - consider a fried or poached egg with a runny yolk. The yolk should combine with some of the pasta water and parmesan to create a sauce that adheres to the pasta. Some people might find it a little eggy but there should be enough flavour in the bacon, pepper, cheese and parsley to even it out.

partyguinness

ozmo wrote: »

Anyone catch that gogglebox episode on RTE 1 few weeks back

Mary Berry on BBC was making what she thought was Irish Stew - A full jar of Chutney she she put in it , what ever that is...!

Chutney in Irish stew...FFS. Notions.

46 Long

partyguinness wrote: »

Well I discoverd pasta bake sauce is piss easy:

400g tinned peeled tomoatos
Large onion thinly sliced
2 garlic gloves
Chily flakes
Tsp of sugar
Simmer for 20 mins
Mix in 6 tbsp of mascarpone

(Feel free to add whatever bits your want e.g sweetcorn, herbs, seasoning etc etc)

That's it. Then add to cooked pasta and chicken or tuna, top with cheese and bake for 20 mins. Now look at Tesco's list of ingredients:

Tomato Purée (72%), Tomatoes (10%), Rapeseed Oil, Onion Purée (4.5%), Sugar, Basil (1%), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Dehydrated Cheese (Milk), Concentrated Lemon Juice (contains Sulphites), Garlic Purée, Egg Yolk Powder, Flavourings (contains Celery, Milk), Ground Black Pepper, Stabiliser (Xanthan Gum), Lactose (Milk)

More or less the same ingredients in both. I don't see a problem unless you've convinced yourself that basil, lemon juice, milk, celery, egg yolk powder and xanthan gum are harmful.

partyguinness

46 Long wrote: »

More or less the same ingredients in both. I don't see a problem unless you've convinced yourself that basil, lemon juice, milk, celery, egg yolk powder and xanthan gum are harmful.

That's really not the point. It's about the ease at which it can be made. Plus I made it myself and I know what goes into it.


And yes I can do without the Rapeseed Oil (I used olive), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Dehydrated Cheese (Milk), Concentrated Lemon Juice (contains Sulphites), Egg Yolk Powder, Flavourings (contains Celery, Milk), Stabiliser (Xanthan Gum), Lactose (Milk) thank you very much

spurious

For lazy cooking 'aids' you can't beat the bread in a bag.
Like brown bread is hard to make?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0elgsEiHmo

46 Long

partyguinness wrote: »

That's really not the point. It's about the ease at which it can be made. Plus I made it myself and I know what goes into it.


And yes I can do without the Rapeseed Oil (I used olive), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Dehydrated Cheese (Milk), Concentrated Lemon Juice (contains Sulphites), Egg Yolk Powder, Flavourings (contains Celery, Milk), Stabiliser (Xanthan Gum), Lactose (Milk) thank you very much

Ok, but you know what goes into the prepared sauce too. I mean, it literally tells you on the side of the jar.

Preferring your own version is fine but there's nothing harmful in the Tesco/Dolmio one.

fonecrusher1

Fonecrusher's Carbonara sauce recipe:

- Gently warm some cream
- Add some double cream
- Ever so gently fold in some whipped cream
- Add some milk.
- Gently tear up some good quality billy roll and toss playfully into the sauce.
- Serve aggressively with Dolmio microwave pasta in a bag. (Make sure to reheat the pasta so much it becomes good n mushy)

Bellysimmo! (Enjoy!)

Snickers Man

hynesie08 wrote: »

Lads, sorry if it's been asked, but is there cream in carbonara?

There is in mine And mushrooms if I have them. And pancetta me arse!! What's wrong with a pack of Galtee rashers??

Disclaimer: I'm not Italian. (you might have guessed)

glaswegian

Funniest thread on here by a mile, ma ribs are genuinely aching.:D

Cordell

Rub some cream on them.

ablelocks

suicide_circus wrote: »

Add 4 beaten egg yolks onto pasta and stir, add grated parmesan, black pepper, a little chopped parsley.

Most important part is making sure the pan is not too hot when the egg yolks go in so they dont scramble.

here's a tip for the eggs, so they don't scramble.

Add a teaspoon of table salt, then beat them. The salt thins the egg slightly so that when it comes in contact with the hot pasta, it coats the pasta evenly and doesn't scramble.

ozmo

ablelocks wrote: »

here's a tip for the eggs, so they don't scramble.

Add a teaspoon of table salt,.

Because like there isn't enough salt in the pasta water and ham...

ablelocks

ozmo wrote: »

Because like there isn't enough salt in the pasta water and ham...

you may have a point - i add 4 teaspoons to the water.

maybe half a teaspoon in the eggs then, i haven't actually measured it...but it works.

edit - maybe it's as a result of Ozmosis?

PsychoPete

What is the ratio of salt to cream? I assume its 500 grams of salt for every 1 litre of cream you add into your carbonara sauce

COVID

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Fonecrusher's Carbonara sauce recipe:

- Gently warm some cream
- Add some double cream
- Ever so gently fold in some whipped cream
- Add some milk.
- Gently tear up some good quality billy roll and toss playfully into the sauce.
- Serve aggressively with Dolmio microwave pasta in a bag. (Make sure to reheat the pasta so much it becomes good n mushy)

Bellysimmo! (Enjoy!)

Dear fonecrusher,

You seem like a man who knows his way 'round a modern downlit kitchen.
As the resident AH 'Foodie', perhaps you might help to settle an argument between myself and my good lady wife.

We would very much like to cook the appetising - and soon to be well-known I'm sure - Fonecrusher's Carbonara sauce (reproduced above).
The problem is, the only cream we can find in the refrigerator is an aerosol can of 'Tesco Real Dairy Spray Cream' (250G).
Herself feels that this is some sort of imitation cream and would be viewed as verboten by someone as esteemed, and experienced in the culinary arts, as your good self.

I opined that you weren't one of those snobby fellows, 'off the telly', and would probably give us an encouraging thumbs-up regarding the use of the Tesco 'spray'.

What say you?
Bellysimmo in advance!
Yours in cream,
Covid.

Btw, neither do we have any quality billy roll to toss playfully into the sauce (as suggested in your cooking instructions).
Would unused toilet roll serve as an adequate alternative I wonder?

46 Long

ozmo wrote: »

Because like there isn't enough salt in the pasta water and ham...

Exactly Ozmo. In fact, there's so little salt in the pasta water and ham that you should add a Chicken stock cube to the pasta water to make your pasta taste better.

Porklife

I like to add a dash of salt to my cream before gently adding it to the guacamole. Now I haven't tried this myself but a friend swears by adding a cadburys cream egg right at the end before serving. He's been to Rome so I trust his opinion.

Effects

Porklife wrote: »

I like to add a dash of salt to my cream before gently adding it to the guacamole.

You don't put cream in guacamole. You use mayonnaise.

fonecrusher1

COVID wrote: »

The problem is, the only cream we can find in the refrigerator is an aerosol can of 'Tesco Real Dairy Spray Cream' (250G).

Hmm... I never considered this variation of cream. I'm sure its fine, just add some powered milk and tap water to get that silky smooth classic real Italian creamy carbonara texture.

COVID wrote: »

Btw, neither do we have any quality billy roll to toss playfully into the sauce (as suggested in your cooking instructions).
Would unused toilet roll serve as an adequate alternative I wonder?

Although toilet roll has a similar ratio of pork-like tissue it really is best to source some good fresh billy roll from your local billy roll shop.

*I forgot to mention as a garnish sprinkle some crushed cheese puffs on each serving and it really is best to accompany this dish with a cool glass of salted cream. And remember.... real carbonara doesn't have eggs in it.

Neyite

Cordell wrote: »

Rub some cream on them.

Is there no end to the uses of Sudocrem?

Zaph

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Although toilet roll has a similar ratio of pork-like tissue it really is best to source some good fresh billy roll from your local billy roll shop.

Tesco is my nearest billy roll shop, but I fear that their product may not be of sufficiently high quality to do your recipe justice. Would Caviston's or James Whelan's billy roll be OK to use, or should I try and source some from an Italian artisanal producer online?

COVID

Neyite wrote: »

Is there no end to the uses of Sudocrem?

Not sure about that one.
Again, it's probably best to defer to 'fonecrusher'.
But doesn't Sudocrem have quite a sharp, astringent taste, not unlike, Heinz Salad Cream, which, incidentally, many a parent has used on their infants as a soothing balm for nappy rash!

partyguinness

46 Long wrote: »

Ok, but you know what goes into the prepared sauce too. I mean, it literally tells you on the side of the jar.

Preferring your own version is fine but there's nothing harmful in the Tesco/Dolmio one.

There is a general saying about the foods (paraphrasing) and cooking:

"Don't use it if your grandmother would not recognise it"

Out of curiosity, how often do you cook with "Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Dehydrated Cheese (Milk), Concentrated Lemon Juice (contains Sulphites), Egg Yolk Powder, Flavourings (contains Celery, Milk), Stabiliser (Xanthan Gum)"

Like most bought processed foods, we have no idea how much went in, who prepared it, where it was prepared, where the ingredients were sourced and prepared, how much of it can you trust..the next big food scandal is only around the corner,

COVID

partyguinness wrote: »

There is a general saying about the foods (paraphrasing) and cooking:

"Don't use it if your grandmother would not recognise it"

Out of curiosity, how often do you cook with "Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Dehydrated Cheese (Milk), Concentrated Lemon Juice (contains Sulphites), Egg Yolk Powder, Flavourings (contains Celery, Milk), Stabiliser (Xanthan Gum)"

Bless her heart, but my grandmother doesn't even recognise me anymore.

Cordell

Neyite wrote: »

Is there no end to the uses of Sudocrem?

If it works at one end, why shouldn't it work at the other?

partyguinness

COVID wrote: »

Bless her heart, but my grandmother doesn't even recognise me anymore.

Lucky for her.

Neyite

COVID wrote: »

Not sure about that one.
Again, it's probably best to defer to 'fonecrusher'.
But doesn't Sudocrem have quite a sharp, astringent taste, not unlike, Heinz Salad Cream, which, incidentally, many a parent has used on their infants as a soothing balm for nappy rash!

True. And lets not forget the other universal cure of flat 7up. I imagine a dash of that to a Carbonara would be a wonderful boost to the immune system as well as adding a citrusy tang to the dish.