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Forever Alone

  • 06-12-2020 10:52pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am male, in my early thirties and a virgin. At this point I just can't see it happening at all. My problem is I was abused as a child and now I find it very hard to trust.

    I am bi and tend to fall for my friends. The reason being, I get to know them well and trust them. I really don't have a physical type, just an emotional one.

    I never act on the feelings though as I don't want to lose the friendship. But in my head I imagine us being together, picturing dates etc.

    I just don't understand how I am like this.


Comments

  • #2
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,930 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    DieAlone wrote: »
    I am male, in my early thirties and a virgin. At this point I just can't see it happening at all. My problem is I was abused as a child and now I find it very hard to trust.

    I am bi and tend to fall for my friends. The reason being, I get to know them well and trust them. I really don't have a physical type, just an emotional one.

    I never act on the feelings though as I don't want to lose the friendship. But in my head I imagine us being together, picturing dates etc.

    I just don't understand how I am like this.

    Very very sorry to hear of your abuse, that’s not something that is easy to get over alone and you’ve carried that for many years you poor thing - I think you need to deal with that first before you look for a relationship, speaking to a counsellor and understanding coping mechanisms could help.
    Separately- there is a lot of support out there for lgbt community, lgbt Ireland have a helpline but what would also help is making other friends who are bi too and chatting with them for advice maybe. Easier said than done in covid times! It’s never too late to change or improve your life, early 30s is young in he grand scheme of things. Baby steps :)


  • #3
    alexpatt
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭alexpatt


    Have you ever tried online dating? I know it's a no for many, but there are many good sides to it. You can make your own rules, you decide when and whether you want to meet someone and you get to know a lot of new people, especially on LGBT focused websites. Maybe it's good if you get to know someone outside of your social circle. And with covid raging, it's also a safe way to date for now.

    Of course you need to be careful online but there are several guides that show you what to look out for such as this one https://datingroo.co.uk/recognize-romance-scam-during-covid-19/

    I suggest you give it a try and maybe it's the right thng for you :)


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