To put dog down or not?

Hannaho

Our dog is 15. She's still fairly lively, but has a heart murmur, and more recently has started to pee on sofa due to ageing bladder. I've had one sofa professionally cleaned 3 times the last 3 months at a cost of 170 each time, to do my dog peeing on it multiple times, and the guy who cleans is is never sure the stains will come out. I go the sofa cleaned again two days ago, and the night it was cleared she peed all over it, and all over the floor - though I don't mind her peeing on the floor as it is easy to clean. I work very long hours to support two children in college. My cousin lives with me, and works mostly from home, so lets the dog out in the garden during the day, and also takes her for short walks. The dog is my children's dog, but they have moved out for college. It's me who cleans up after the dog, and has done always. My children offer to take the dog for a weekend while I went away, but the said they wouldn't clean up after her. I find it really hard to afford 170 every couple of months to clean the sofa - my budget is really tight. I'm beginning now to resent the dog. I feel she is another pressure in a very pressured life, where I often feel I am just about holding it together with the pressure of two kids away in college on one, not large income. I have mooted putting our dog down, but my daughter won't hear of it, yet I am left doing all the caring for the dog, all the cleaning up, and wondering if I can afford to get the sofa cleaned again - I can't afford to replace it - and just wanting my home and sofa to be clean and not smell when I come home from 60 hrs of work per week. Has anyone felt like this with an ageing dog.

sadie1502

Hannaho wrote: »

<Snip>

God that's so awful. Please do not put your dog down because they are older. Can't believe what I'm reading I really cant. Can you not put down plastic sheets and blankets over it. Easy to clean. Wash the blankets buy in penny's couple of quid have spares and rotate them. Ive older dogs two of them and the thoughts of them passing fills me with dread and sadness. Sorry but I really find it hard to believe you could put a dog to sleep because they are older with a bladder problem. So sad.

Hannaho

I have tried the plastic sheeting - I've used the ones that they put on children's beds - but she just paws it off until it's just down to sofa cushion again.

sadie1502

Hannaho wrote: »

<Snip>

Surly you can stop her sleeping in that room get her a dog bed. You can get plastic covered mattress like they have in hospital wipe clean put a few blankets for comfort and warmth. You need to talk to your kids and tell them they need to come up with solutions. But putting the dog down sorry but that to me is disgusting just because they are older with a bladder problem. There are solutions.

charlietheminxx

I presume you’ve had her at the vet to have her bladder checked? It could be an infection or something. Poor dog it’s also not uncommon for some female dogs to need medication to prevent incontinence in their old age.

When we make a dog a part of our family, we have to take the inconveniences that come with it. While I do feel for you with the stress of minding an ill and ageing dog, you seem more concerned for your sofa than for the dog’s well-being.

If your dog is ill to the point that it isn’t treatable and they have a poor quality of life, then it is understandable to consider euthanasia. However if the dog is still happy and otherwise healthy, then it would be unfair to put her down. You can get a waterproof bed sheet for the sofa and put a nice soft blanket over it, all of which can be thrown in the machine if and when needed.

Is she on her own when this happens or are you there? Is she left alone for long stretches, could it be an anxiety behaviour rather than a physical problem?

Macker1

It's not the dog's fault so don't do something so drastic. Put covers over the sofa or move it somewhere it can't be used. Cherish the time that's left with an old friend. Surely it's what you would like to happen to yourself when you get to old age. Imagine loosing your faculties and your family looking to put you down.

ForestFire

Firstly I think it's important to recognise your dog seems to be past the average lifespan of most dogs.

Depending on the breed/size this might be by a small amount or large amount so the dog is coming to there natural end of life anyway. I think this is important as with the old 7year dog years your at 105 years.

See here ages per breed

https://www.petmd.com/dog/wellness/evr_dg_how_long_do_dogs_live

Is the dog suffering in anyway with this or other issues?
What's the dogs quaily of life otherwise?

Has the dog been to the vet about this issue, is there anything that could be done, I'm thinking if it's costing you 150euro to clean couches, maybe money at the vet would be better?

Is there such thing as dog colostomy bag for example?

In the end only the person looking after the dog each day can make that final call on what maybe best, but I will add that getting a dog put down by a vet is not painful for a dog either, so it is a balance on whats best as I've said above.

Stop the dog sleeping in a room where he or she sleeps on the sofa.
If your daughter doesn't want the dog to go to sleep, let her come home & do all the work. Im serious. Let her come home, let her feed & walk the dog & let her pick up all the poop.

Purple Mountain

I think you do shoulder a lot of responsibility OP. Youre not in an ideal position to care for an OAP dog with your long working hours and lack of support.
Could you approach an animal rescue charity and see if they could rehome the dog with say, a retired person who is home all day to care for her needs?
You could explain your situations and that youd like the dog to see out her days in a 1 to 1 environment.
It's not much different to an older person going into a care home.

little bit of help

Hi
Looking after a senior dog is tough and comes with added expenses. At this point she is quite elderly and bladder control is now an issue and it's hard to clean up and probably very uncomfortable for her too. It's only going to get harder for both of you. Look at quality of life for both of you. At this age medications are going to become a regular feature and to be honest she is probably going to go downhill. My advice is take her to a vet. It could be an infection or maybe it is time. I have an elderly cat and dog and my line in the sand is pain and incontinence. It's not fair to keep an animal that is wetting itself it's just suffering.

Hannaho

My children won't do any of the cleaning up after or looking after the dog. They did it for about 18 months, very reluctantly, and with many arguments, before they moved out a year ago. Re the sofa - the dog has peed on other sofas - the sofa that she pees on most is in the kitchen. If I forget to close the kitchen door, she will pee on sofas in the sitting room maybe every couple of months - I have also had these large sofas cleaned because of this -last time about a year ago. My cousin and I always try to remember to close the door to the sitting room. I have tried dog beds -she has one with plastic sheeting - but she will always nevert to using a sofa or chair.

khaldrogo

<snip> will take the dog

sadie1502

Hannaho wrote: »

My children won't do any of the cleaning up after or looking after the dog. They did it for about 18 months, very reluctantly, and with many arguments, before they moved out a year ago. Re the sofa - the dog has peed on other sofas - the sofa that she pees on most is in the kitchen. If I forget to close the kitchen door, she will pee on sofas in the sitting room maybe every couple of months - I have also had these large sofas cleaned because of this -last time about a year ago. My cousin and I always try to remember to close the door to the sitting room. I have tried dog beds -she has one with plastic sheeting - but she will always nevert to using a sofa or chair.

But she is using it to be fair because ye are leaving the doors open course she will head for the sofa and chairs. I have to lock my kitchen door because of the same reason and if I forget that's my fault not the dogs. If the dog is happy and healthy and you have ruled out infection I think you should try to manage it by closing the door using a childs gate for the door way perhaps as ye will remember that. I'd be having words with your adult kids they need to look after their dog if they love her that much. Show them the thread.

Tork

What is it you're looking for? Justification for putting this poor old dog to sleep?

charlietheminxx

Also OP if both your children are in college and the dog is 15, they were what, maybe 5 or 6 max when you got the dog? You’re saying it’s their dog and that the responsibility and cleaning is falling to you, but they didn’t make the decision to take on the lifetime commitment pet ownership entails, you are the adult so I presume you did.

I don’t know if you’ve seen my previous question, have you seen the vet about her bladder issues?

Antares35

In my opinion the question whether to put a dog down or not should be based on what is best for the animal. It's called euthanasia, a mercy killing, because it is supposed to end suffering, not reduce the amount of work you have to put in to care for your dog because he or she is a senior soul. God

Hannaho

Thanks for replies. No, I am not looking for justification to put the dog down. I am doing all the caring for this dog, and have done, always, without much help from the children. I am feeling resentful of the dog now - I know it's not her fault - but I feel so overburdened by other stuff in my life, and working such long hours to pay for college for my kids, that a dog peeing on my sofas with increasing regularity, is leading to further exhaustion, and I feel one day all the pressure I am under, including the pressure of looking after an ageing dog, will see me just collapse.

To the person who recommended <snip>, I will give them a call on Monday. If an elderly person wanted the dog and was home all day that would be fine. My cousin is home all day, so the dog isn't left alone - but I am still the one doing all the cleaning up after the dog, caring etc.

Re closing doors - the doors now are always closed from sitting room to kitchen - so she has not peed on sitting room sofa for a while, but still does so on kitchen sofa.

sadie1502

Hannaho wrote: »

Thanks for replies. <Snip>

So sad poor old loyal dog. Hope they find someone who will care for them. Heartbreaking. Will they find them a home or euthanise them after a few weeks? Really sad.

Antares35

Hannaho wrote: »

Thanks for replies. <Snip>

Poor dog.

<snip> will take her, they are a fantastic bunch.

Tork

The poor dog will be heartbroken too. Still, you'll have nice sofas and that's the most important thing.

Antares35

sadie1502 wrote: »

So sad poor old loyal dog. Hope they find someone who will care for them. Heartbreaking. Will they find them a home or euthanise them after a few weeks? Really sad.

Isn't it Old dogs are so loyal,it takes a long time to make a soul that sweet

As far as I know they won't put down a healthy animal.

H8GHOTI

How about nappies?

charlietheminxx

sadie1502 wrote: »

So sad poor old loyal dog. Hope they find someone who will care for them. Heartbreaking. Will they find them a home or euthanise them after a few weeks? Really sad.

I agree with this. Rehoming an older dog is very hard, for both the dog and often the new owners. To unsettle a dog who is probably in their final year of life is not a good option in this case, it’s very unfair on them. I say this as someone who adopted a “senior” dog, by comparison she was only 9 and she was months waiting for a new home before we were lucky enough to find eachother.

If you’re the only family she’s ever known then please give her the love and patience she deserves at this stage of life.

OP you still haven’t said if a vet has looked at her bladder issues? Or if these accidents happen while you’re with her?

Mrcaramelchoc

I've been there and we put the dog down.it was the most humane thing to do. 15 years is a great dog life and I'm sure you were a great owner.
I couldn't bare to see my dog walking around listless like a zombie with no interest in anything and like yours peeing and pooping everywhere. Crying so much.
My dog had a fantastic life with us it was time for him to move on. His job was done and done well.
Put the poor thing out of its misery.

Mystery Egg

The amount of judgement here for the OP is absolutely staggering.

OP good luck with finding a shelter to take the dog and don't let other people's judgmentalism impact your decision. It's clear you are doing your level best to keep your head above water.

sadie1502

Antares35 wrote: »

Isn't it Old dogs are so loyal,it takes a long time to make a soul that sweet

As far as I know they won't put down a healthy animal.

I hope to God not. The poor dog being dumped out on Christmas my heart goes out to her. Poor thing. I'd take her myself but I've two older dogs myself bad legs specialised diets costing a fortune monthly but I'd eat grass once they were ok. So sad. Disposed of after 15 years.

Shelli2

Surely the simplest solution is to keep the dog away from the sofas?
Use a dog crate if necessary.
And you still haven't answered if you've had the dog checked out by the vet.
You are assuming it's just old age, but it could be an easily treated medical condition.

Poor old dog
OP, if you're not interested anymore in looking after the poor old dog..... Please ask a rescue, they may have people who are willing to take an older dog for a year or so & look after them until they die.......

RurtBeynolds

Mrcaramelchoc wrote: »

I've been there and we put the dog down.it was the most humane thing to do. 15 years is a great dog life and I'm sure you were a great owner.
I couldn't bare to see my dog walking around listless like a zombie with no interest in anything and like yours peeing and pooping everywhere. Crying so much.
My dog had a fantastic life with us it was time for him to move on. His job was done and done well.
Put the poor thing out of its misery.

What misery? Op hasn't mentioned anything about misery.

Op, why don't you make better examples of your useless kids instead of punishing your dog. Next time you need to pay for a cleaning, take it out of the money you give to them.

SouthWesterly

sadie1502 wrote: »

I hope to God not. The poor dog being dumped out on Christmas my heart goes out to her. Poor thing. I'd take her myself but I've two older dogs myself bad legs specialised diets costing a fortune monthly but I'd eat grass once they were ok. So sad. Disposed of after 15 years.

The dog doesn't know its christmas. But it's the OP's call as it's him who has to look after the dog and clean up after it. It's also him who'll be faced with the vetinary and medication bills of he decides to keep it.

At 15, the dog has lived a good life and is very old. Sometimes it best for everyone to call it a day, of course the keyboard warriors will disagree.

Gamb!t

Can you not keep the dog in a different room or put something on the sofa to prevent her from jumping up on it?
If I had a dog that long which my parents have had in the past no way would they put it down, not to mind give it away after 15 years.

sadie1502

SouthWesterly wrote: »

The dog doesn't know its christmas. But it's the OP's call as it's him who has to look after the dog and clean up after it. It's also him who'll be faced with the vetinary and medication bills of he decides to keep it.

At 15, the dog has lived a good life and is very old. Sometimes it best for everyone to call it a day, of course the keyboard warriors will disagree.

Well clearly I know the dog doesn't know its Christmas that goes without saying.

From what the OP states the dog is still enjoying life. If they didn't want to hear another point of view or possibly looking to ease their guilt by looking for approval they wouldn't have to listen to keyboard warriors would they.

LilacNails

Please don't rehome the dog op, the poor thing won't know what's going on...why cause that upset to the poor thing.

It's just a couch. Perhaps u could block off the couch while ur not there to prevent her from jumping up? Can u purchase a new bed or something?

To rehome or euthanize is just so unnecessary. Please don't rehome. Get the kids to spilt the cleaning bill, for goodness sake this is a living creature with feelings too.

Antares35

Mrcaramelchoc wrote: »

I've been there and we put the dog down.it was the most humane thing to do. 15 years is a great dog life and I'm sure you were a great owner.
I couldn't bare to see my dog walking around listless like a zombie with no interest in anything and like yours peeing and pooping everywhere. Crying so much.
My dog had a fantastic life with us it was time for him to move on. His job was done and done well.
Put the poor thing out of its misery.

Where does OP say the dog is miserable? Seems it's OP who is miserable, not the dog.

Not quite sure what you mean by "his job was done" but it sounds like code for "we were done with him".

Antares35

LilacNails wrote: »

Please don't rehome the dog op, the poor thing won't know what's going on...why cause that upset to the poor thing.

It's just a couch. Perhaps u could block off the couch while ur not there to prevent her from jumping up? Can u purchase a new bed or something?

To rehome or euthanize is just so unnecessary. Please don't rehome. Get the kids to spilt the cleaning bill, for goodness sake this is a living creature with feelings too.

It sounds like the couch is just an excuse tbh. A couch is not going to be a sole reason for putting a dog down. I knew someone who put down her healthy dog because he kept getting ear infections and she was píssed off taking it to the vet, but tried to convince everyone she did it because she couldn't bear to see him suffering - with an ear infection.

Deeper Blue

Just don't let her on the couch? Seems to me like you're looking for an excuse as you couldn't be bothered looking after the poor pet anymore. The dog deserves better.

Antares35

<Mod Snip> I appreciate the sentiment but offering PMs in the Personal Issues Forum is not allowed. We cannot verify anything a poster claims so cannot be responsible for any potential outcome.

Please read this link for further clarification.

Purple Mountain

I also think people are harsh to criticize the op.
She/he has been very honest.
They are clearly a single parent struggling financially and physically, working 60 hr weeks.
They've looked after this dog for 15 years already, it's not like they got the dog on a whim this year and now couldn't be bothered anymore.
Sometimes people reach the end of their patience with a certain situation and I think it takes courage to come on here and admit it.
I know our posts are supposed to address the op, so my above advice still stands about finding a kind home through an animal rescue group.

strandroad

Why do you insist on having a sofa in the kitchen??

Replace it with some chairs, people are giving seriously good items away on Facebook now with all the lockdown remodelling happening. Give her a dog bed that you can wash instead.

Problem solved.

radiotrickster

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Could you approach an animal rescue charity and see if they could rehome the dog with say, a retired person who is home all day to care for her needs?

It’s quite unfair to take the dog out of their home, away from the owner that it loves. With a dog, you have to remember that you are literally their entire world. We have jobs, problems, tv shows, etc. but they just know you, your home and wherever you take them.

It’s not like you can explain to the dog what’s happening, why it’s going somewhere else. All it knows is that it’s gone from the place it feels safest, to a lonely cell, and then hopefully they would get rehomed before they pass. But in my opinion, it’s cruel to get rid of an older dog and break their heart.

To be honest OP, it’s horrible to think of putting a dog down because you care more about your couch being clean than your dog. My youngest dog is one year old and has a bladder issue. We just accept it. It can be annoying and frustrating, and we need to wash a lot of stuff weekly but that’s part and parcel with having a dog. Our vet said it could resolve naturally but we don’t know if it will. But we are the ones that took on the responsibility of getting a dog and a dog is for life.

What has your vet said about the issue? Is there a way to resolve it? As someone else said, it might be cheaper for the dog to get treatment/medication than to keep cleaning the couch.

And how old were your children when you got the dog? Maybe this is different for different families, but with all the pets I’ve had it’s always been expected that if/when I moved out of the family home, they would stay as they were technically ‘mine’ but everyone in the family loved them and they were a part of the family.

I think when your child gets a pet, you have to accept that if they stop caring about it, it’ll be your responsibility to keep looking after the pet for the rest of their life. If you don’t want that responsibility, then you shouldn’t let them get one in the first place, but it’s too late for that now.

Honestly, it sounds like a selfish thing to do and I feel terribly sorry for your dog.

Away With The Fairies

Please don't give up your dog for it's last few months or last year or whatever it might be. Get the dog checked at the vet. Could be something that can be treated. It could be old age and something that can't be treated as well. The dog could be suffering. Nobody knows, the dog can't say. In that case, why prolong it?

Take her out for a nice walk, make a big fuss and take her to the vet. 15 years is a long time. I did the same with a lab with cancer years ago. You can be there with her when she goes.

Best of luck, it's not a good place to be in.

Big Bag of Chips

A number of petty tit-for-tat posts have been deleted. Posts in Personal Issues are expected to be mature, constructive and civil.

Taking pot shots at other posters is none of the above.

Anyone unfamiliar with the forum rules should reread the charter.

Big Bag of Chips

Moved to a more relevant forum.
Local charter now applies.

spurious

It's not as simple as some previous posts make out. Our old queen pug was doubly incontinent. That was a pain in the ass, but in our living setup it was manageable, mostly.

She had dementia and while initially this just meant wandering into walls and doors (she was blind before the dementia) and standing barking hysterically into a corner, it was when she failed to recognise any of us and could not be calmed that we decided it wasn't fair on her.

She was spending her waking moments in constant fear and stress and we could help that stop for her, which we did.

Everyone's situation is different. I'm sure some of the previous posters would condemn us for having her put to sleep, but they don't know us and they didn't know her and I will lose no sleep over their opinions.

OP, if the incontinence is the only issue, you may be able to find ways to cope with it, as suggested already, but you know the dog best as to her difficulties and resultant quality of life. It is always a difficult decision, but not one anyone needs to be condemned for.

beveragelady

I have always said that I'd rather send them on their way a year early than a day late.
The OP hasn't confirmed if they've visited the vet but I'm assuming they took that step before considering this one.
Moving the dog to a new home at this stage in her life would be a huge upheaval, the sort of stress that would exacerbate any existing conditions. Preventing the dog from accessing her familiar comfy couch isn't ideal either.
15 is a venerable age, this dog has clearly been well minded and cherished. Look ahead, how many really good days does the dog have left? You know your dog, and you know your situation. Take her for a little walk, feed her her favourite treats and make sure you stay with her at the end. You definitely owe her that and you won't regret it.

When this has passed you're going to need to have a serious and uncomfortable think about your children. Something seems amiss there...

bertiebomber

i am very saddened by your post to rehome and unsettle an elderly dog is like dumping your elderly parent into a strange nursing and just walking away, pretty heartless a bit of pee is really nothing. You should never have a dog. A dog is great to play with your young noisy kids but when they bugger off then its a burden.

Put the dog to sleep at least it might feel it was loved to the end. The unsettling change of home will break its llttle heart and it wont know what it did to deserve it. A elderly dog pining for its home and family is just awful. What i would really like to say is unprintable.

This dog would be better off dead as the dog is obviously unloved in your swanky house & as to your children they are heartless and thats down to your up bringing.
That dog deserves the peace of being put to sleep away from you lot.

DBB

Bertiebomber, that's enough of the judgemental, personal comments. You know fine well by now that comments like you have made in your post above don't fly here. Don't post in this thread again.

To anyone else who's not familiar with this forum following the thread's relocation from Personal Issues, there is a standard expected here whereby posters MUST post in a respectful manner. You do not have to agree with one another, and you're welcome to debate your opinions, but you MUST do so in a mutually respectful way.
Thanks.
DBB

Bannasidhe

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I presume you’ve had her at the vet to have her bladder checked? It could be an infection or something. Poor dog it’s also not uncommon for some female dogs to need medication to prevent incontinence in their old age.

When we make a dog a part of our family, we have to take the inconveniences that come with it. While I do feel for you with the stress of minding an ill and ageing dog, you seem more concerned for your sofa than for the dog’s well-being.

If your dog is ill to the point that it isn’t treatable and they have a poor quality of life, then it is understandable to consider euthanasia. However if the dog is still happy and otherwise healthy, then it would be unfair to put her down. You can get a waterproof bed sheet for the sofa and put a nice soft blanket over it, all of which can be thrown in the machine if and when needed.

Is she on her own when this happens or are you there? Is she left alone for long stretches, could it be an anxiety behaviour rather than a physical problem?

I had an elderly dog who did this, it is common in neutered dogs and was quickly, cheaply, and easily controlled with medication.

Same dog died a year and a half later aged 16 1/2 and I would give anything to have her back. Even if she did wee on the sofa.

SouthWesterly

Bannasidhe wrote: »

I had an elderly dog who did this, it is common in neutered dogs and was quickly, cheaply, and easily controlled with medication.

Same dog died a year and a half later aged 16 1/2 and I would give anything to have her back. Even if she did wee on the sofa.

Maybe the op can't afford 18 months of medication. Reality has to kick in somewhere

Humberto Salazar

If it's just old age causing the issue and your dog is enjoying life, surely it's up to you to try and manage as best you can. When the time comes you will be incredibly upset. We had to put down our 13 year old staffie last year, she had advanced cancer, and I was never as upset that day, it took me surprise, the grief. So hold on to your pet as long as you can if it's happy otherwise.