Your line is weak but your point is strong: Liveline from 10th January

eviltwin

Deleted User wrote: »

Absolutely, and as an unmarried person you simply would not involve your GP in anything to do with sexuality. The entire state & society was anti-sex unless married.

When I had my daughter in 1996 I was kept in a seperate ward with all the other unmarrieds. We weren't allowed on the general ward. Its unbelievable to think of now but at the time you just accepted it because you were made to feel so ashamed of yourself.

lazygal

eviltwin wrote: »

When I had my daughter in 1996 I was kept in a seperate ward with all the other unmarrieds. We weren't allowed on the general ward. Its unbelievable to think of now but at the time you just accepted it because you were made to feel so ashamed of yourself.

Holles St had a specific ward for unmarried patients until at least the late 80s. Some women would wear fake wedding bands so the nuns didn't come to their beds to pressure them into adoption.

igCorcaigh

eviltwin wrote: »

When I had my daughter in 1996 I was kept in a seperate ward with all the other unmarrieds. We weren't allowed on the general ward. Its unbelievable to think of now but at the time you just accepted it because you were made to feel so ashamed of yourself.

WTF! That's outrageous!

Roger_007

Roger_007 wrote: »

Why do you just assume she was raped......she never said she was.
You are jumping to conclusions!

I mean, in the cases where rape took place. Not being specific to any, but it did take place.

eviltwin

igCorcaigh wrote: »

WTF! That's outrageous!

Ah listen, by the time it came to have your baby you were well used to people thinking you were scum so you wanted to be away from all the respectable people with their dirty looks.

Jordan 199

2smiggy wrote: »

Getting another van tested, picked another good time to miss the show it seems

Mercedes Sprinter?

Odyssey 2005

See yez Mon folks. Going to the sunroom for a drink.

Roger_007

Deleted User wrote: »

I mean, in the cases where rape took place. Not being specific to any, but it did take place.

In a previous post you said “it sounds like she was raped” even though she never said or suggested that.

dvcireland

Trinity College educated host

"... fore whoy..."

Roger_007

Why didn’t he marry her...........many others did in those circumstances?

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

When I had my daughter in 1996 I was kept in a seperate ward with all the other unmarrieds. We weren't allowed on the general ward. Its unbelievable to think of now but at the time you just accepted it because you were made to feel so ashamed of yourself.

My parents aren't actually married. My dad got married at 21 and wasn't able to divorce the other woman when the relationship broke down. He and my mum simulated a marriage, even down to the wedding ring, so no-one knew they weren't actually married. Apparently my sister figured it out when she was about 12.

Roger_007

Roger_007 wrote: »

In a previous post you said “it sounds like she was raped” even though she never said or suggested that.

Not sure tbh.

lazygal

Roger_007 wrote: »

Why didn’t he marry her...........many others did in those circumstances?

Maybe her parents objected. At 17 she needed their permission to get married. Maybe his parents didn't want him to get married and didn't give permission. Lots of farming families would be horrified an unwanted child and marriage would break up the family farm.

shearforce

why wasn't this lads name on the birth cert if he was the father?


was it because they were unmarried?

eviltwin

shearforce wrote: »

why wasn't this lads name on the birth cert if he was the father?


was it because they were unmarried?

If the baby was born in a home the staff would have registered the birth, it probably suited them to leave the father's name off.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

My parents aren't actually married. My dad got married at 21 and wasn't able to divorce the other woman when the relationship broke down. He and my mum simulated a marriage, even down to the wedding ring, so no-one knew they weren't actually married. Apparently my sister figured it out when she was about 12.

Probably very many such "marriages", especially in cases where one heard the wedding was "abroad" or "intimate". I think I may know of a few. People were forced into this kind of thing. My mother's best friend (RC) met a Protestant man whose marriage had broken down due to wife's severe alcoholism. They managed to get bigamously "married" by a catholic priest in Iceland! Regularised later I think.

Joe: And you remember meeting your birth father?

She just told him she had discussed it whith her mother. He really is a clown.

Is Joe being humble??

Roger_007

There’s just not enough misery in the report for Joe’s liking?

Are there any faaaaders who might want to phone in and tell of how they had a relationship with a young lady who got pregnant with him, and who was denied the experience of faaaaderhood by parents, nuns etc taking his beloved into the bounds of a convent's walls?

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Are there any faaaaders who might want to phone in and tell of how they had a relationship with a young lady who got pregnant with him, and who was denied the experience of faaaaderhood by parents, nuns etc taking his beloved into the bounds of a convent's walls?

We just had one.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] wrote: »

We just had one.

Sorry, was out of room, missed it.

2smiggy

this sounds more a problem with your family rather than the nuns

2smiggy

2smiggy wrote: »

this sounds more a problem with your family rather than the nuns

Thats maybe why she refers to her parents as "the parents". If my parents abandoned my sister like that I'd disown them.

curioser

Joe doesn't believe the tone, the tenor, the language and conclusions are satisfactory. Maybe he'll offer to conduct his own investigation and produce a proper report.

cozar

took Joe long enough to reply there.

Del.Monte

She found herself pregnant? Little faux sad voice from Joe.

FrKurtFahrt

Oh dear Jesus, this is horrific

CH3OH

A long pause from Joe interspersed with heavy breathing

curioser

curioser wrote: »

Joe doesn't believe the tone, the tenor, the language and conclusions are satisfactory. Maybe he'll offer to conduct his own investigation and produce a proper report.

I actually fully expect that.

rtron

F woord

ShamNNspace

I wonder would the child have fared better had the child remained with the mother?

eviltwin

ShamNNspace wrote: »

I wonder would the child have fared better had the child remained with the mother?

Why wouldn't it? She had a job and a large family, if they had just been a bit less worried about the neighbours and focused on their daughter / grandchild it could have been a wonderful experience for them.

shearforce

makes me feel a bit queasy really how bad this situation is/was

Roger_007

This story illustrates where the bulk of the blame lies in these cases............it was the parents of the girls who wanted to preserve their “respectability”.

2smiggy

i missed practically the whole week, but from hearing this bit I hope it doesn't drag into next week. What good is this doing anyone (except Duffy of course)

CH3OH

Joe can't even pay attention

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

Why wouldn't it? She had a job and a large family, if they had just been a bit less worried about the neighbours and focused on their daughter / grandchild it could have been a wonderful experience for them.

Middle class, sounds well todo, living in South Dublin. She could have had all manner of supports and oppertunities.

That said, the parents sound toxic so maybe she was better off.

CH3OH

need a break in before 3

CH3OH

CH3OH wrote: »

need a break in before 3

Probably the first of many.

Atlantic Dawn

I recall in transition year a new pupil so to speak joined our class preggers and then left about 6 months later. The school apparently couldn't cover a pregnant pupil under their inshurdance. Not sure what became of her, she never returned, think she moved to the school to avoid mortification in her local area.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Probably the first of many.

Oh FFS.

Atlantic Dawn

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

I recall in transition year a new pupil so to speak joined our class preggers and then left about 6 months later. The school apparently couldn't cover a pregnant pupil under their inshurdance. Not sure what became of her, she never returned, think she moved to the school to avoid mortification in her local area.

Some schools are of the opinion that pregnancies are infectious.

Roger_007

Roger_007 wrote: »

This story illustrates where the bulk of the blame lies in these cases............it was the parents of the girls who wanted to preserve their “respectability”.

My friend got pregnant with her now husband ahead of marriage, "respectable" parents never forgave her, and her only sibling disowned her. She lives with her lovely husband overseas, and the irony is that she & husband raised a very religious Catholic family themselves, which the parents would have thoroughly approved of only they cut off their noses to spite their faces. Endless years of misery for all around, the bitterness continues.

cozar

more apologies after the break? they would want to be fairly rapid ones.

Atlantic Dawn

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Some schools are of the opinion that pregnancies are infectious.

This same school had teachers preggers up to the last minute, timed to coincide with the school year for maximum holliers.

piplip87

Roger_007 wrote: »

This story illustrates where the bulk of the blame lies in these cases............it was the parents of the girls who wanted to preserve their “respectability”.

I agree but every one of these parents where educated by a religious organisation who pumped this narrative into them from a young age. The churches set the moral tone.

I remember my Dad who was deeply religious telling me that the priest used to open the monthly dues envelopes during mass on a Sunday and real aloud what everybody gave. Imagine what he could do to a family who decided to keep a baby from thay pulpit.

Atlantic Dawn

The Jags are getting scarce it seams, Boris may have to go with zee Germans, poor Joe could be in the same boat if he's thinking if changing...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9128341/amp/Prime-Ministers-Jaguar-replaced-German-BMW-Mercedes.html

shearforce

2smiggy wrote: »

i missed practically the whole week, but from hearing this bit I hope it doesn't drag into next week. What good is this doing anyone (except Duffy of course)

I actually think it's very important that the whole country listens to this - I avoided it as much as I could but really this needs to be heard.

From my own point of view with young girls at home, I hope it's drove it home with me not to have shame or whatever if they arrive home pregnant and to fully support them.

I do realise I shouldn't have to listen to this show to make me realise this but it helps no doubt.

I'm probably sounding a bit out of touch but so be it. It's made me think anyway and no doubt helps the women to talk about it.

tough radio to listen to though.

piplip87

piplip87 wrote: »

I agree but every one of these parents where educated by a religious organisation who pumped this narrative into them from a young age. The churches set the moral tone.

I remember my Dad who was deeply religious telling me that the priest used to open the monthly dues envelopes during mass on a Sunday and real aloud what everybody gave. Imagine what he could do to a family who decided to keep a baby from thay pulpit.

My mother told me that kind of thing went on in rural parishes, but not Dublin ones. The clergy seemed to have an even worse strangle-hold outside of Dublin City.

On their honeymoon in Achill, my parents were instructed to sit different sides of the church. They were stunned.