The bullying of children who are victims of sexual abuse.

political analyst

This is a child sexual abuse case from 15 February 2017.

https://www.con-telegraph.ie/2017/02/15/70-year-old-child-molester-given-jail-term/

70 year-old man who sexually assaulted an 11-year-old autistic boy after enticing him into a laneway in a west of Ireland town with an offer of €25 was sentenced to six years in prison today.

Judge Rory MacCabe, at the Circuit Criminal Court in Castlebar described the defendant, who cannot be named for legal reasons, as “predatory” and “dangerous” after hearing he has served previous jail terms for sexual offences in the U.K.

Imposing the jail term, Judge MacCabe said children were unsafe in the man's presence and he had a serious concern he would re-offend if he remained at large.

The victim's mother also outlined in her statement that her son had been teased and bullied about being a “gayboy” and was beaten up twice since the incident by youngsters in his local community.

I'm aware of the use of homophobic terms in bullying at schools.

However, in the present day, with greater awareness of child abuse, I cannot comprehend the idea of even the most horrible children at school finding that horrific attack amusing. Do they not realise that he is a victim of a crime?!

political analyst

Someone said in reply to my OP that many children haven't developed their empathy at that point - or something like that - but the comment was deleted.

Surely, even the most immature children at school would not think that the attack on the boy was funny. After all, being the victim of such an offence is much worse than falling off a bicycle or slipping on an icy pavement.

nolivesmatter

I think the parents should move the child out of the area entirely if it's becoming an issue. The kid won't even know these other d***heads in a few years anyway. It's not worth sticking around for.

70 year-old man who sexually assaulted an 11-year-old autistic boy after enticing him into a laneway in a west of Ireland town with an offer of €25 was sentenced to six years in prison today.

This is a bigger problem. This f***er needs to be locked up until he's dead IMO.

And at the age of 70 who knows what other damage has already been done.

Yamanoto

Not sure why you're so baffled OP.

I'd a happy childhood thank god, but I do recall casual cruelty based upon difference being a part of the playground landscape.

There's many a poor kid who's lost a parent or sibling and had it used as a stick to beat them with. Horrible and you'd hope school authorities nowadays would be a lot more proactive in stamping it out and supporting the kids. Always gonna happen though.

Your Face

I'm not surprised at all. That's how some people are.

Sonics2k

Kids are dicks. Awful people.

political analyst

Yamanoto wrote: »

Not sure why you're so baffled OP.

I'd a happy childhood thank god, but I do recall casual cruelty based upon difference being a part of the playground landscape.

There's many a poor kid who's lost a parent or sibling and had it used as a stick to beat them with. Horrible and you'd hope school authorities nowadays would be a lot more proactive in stamping it out and supporting the kids. Always gonna happen though.

That doesn't make sense. What motive would any child have to bully another child just because the other child is bereaved?

The Mighty Quinn

political analyst wrote: »

That doesn't make sense. What motive would any child have to bully another child just because the other child is bereaved?

Were you never a child?

Children can be very cruel. Most grow out of it as empathy and compassion develops.

1874

political analyst wrote: »

That doesn't make sense. What motive would any child have to bully another child just because the other child is bereaved?

Have you led a very sheltered life or are you naive? you don't have to get it, for it to be true.
None of the above is a criticism, but you seem genuinely clueless, which tells me maybe that your upbringing was so nice that you genuinely never experienced it, while that is great and all, it's not the reality imo.


The only way to deal with this is to have the time allocated to teaching in schools, showing & discussing what is and is not appropriate behaviour while children are in school, and from a very young age. Not to tolerate negative behaviours, but not criticise children who exhibit signs of tending to bullying in that way, which in itself could point to a poor upbringing, but to deal with it.
Not allowing a group think develop that is hostile or negative and if it does, not failing to deal with it positively and appropriately.

ypres5

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

Were you never a child?

Children can be very cruel. Most grow out of it as empathy and compassion develops.

let's be honest though plenty of nasty little ****s grow up to be nasty big ****s. there's childhood cruelty through naivety and then there's taunting a victim of sexual abuse

CrazyFather1

Sonics2k wrote: »

Kids are dicks. Awful people.

Parents are the issue

1874

ypres5 wrote: »

let's be honest though plenty of nasty little ****s grow up to be nasty big ****s. there's childhood cruelty through naivety and then there's taunting a victim of sexual abuse

tbh, I think those 2 things are nearly the same thing, if being described as carried out by children, not right, not nice, needs to be part of all children's education, most likely undermined by adults, parents, teachers likely culprits,
the ahh shure they're only kids, it'll toughen him up, all kids are like that, or it was worse when I was young & it did me no harm.

ypres5

1874 wrote: »

tbh, I think those 2 things are nearly the same thing, if being described as carried out by children, not right, not nice, needs to be part of all children's education, most likely undermined by adults, parents, teachers likely culprits,
the ahh shure they're only kids, it'll toughen him up, all kids are like that, or it was worse when I was young & it did me no harm.

I think a lot of it is down to people who shouldn't be parents becoming parents I know it's an old cliche but some people aren't fit to raise a goldfish never mind a child

El_Duderino 09

Sonics2k wrote: »

Kids are dicks. Awful people.

I don't think it's much more complicated than this.

Kids aren't brilliant at being rational and they can be terribly cruel to each other. I'm sure that they would be mortified and feel guilty if they were reminded of this behaviour when they're older. But in the meantime it's an example of children being cruel.

grassylawn

Nah. My kid is three and he displays loads of empathy.

A kid in my class in primary school had a similar thing happen to him and there was no way anyone would have slagged hom about it.

That school must be a sh!thole. If my kid was in it I'd look to move him

Kids will attack another kid if they're getting more attention. At a young age, they're exploring power, projecting that power, hierarchy, etc.

Some kids are a joy.. but others.. it's simply human nature. Not the parents fault. Might as well blame God or your DNA.

RandomName2

Really I see that there's two separate issues.

1. The disclosure of confidential information concerning sexual abuse
2. Bullying

Bullying is bullying. If it's because of the family situation of a child (for instance if they are in foster care or adopted), their sexual orientation, physical appearance, race, it can all be incredibly vicious and dangerous to the health and well being of the victim.

People say that kids are just like that because they lack empathy. I think this is bull. Kids do it because they are acutely aware that social structures work, and that for all the empty words from adults that they shouldn't bully others, that in practice that it really depends on the type of bullying, and the social status of the target (or their family), that are actually the important aspects to consider.

"fat stupid ginge who has no friends" is not a phrase that will get you into much trouble, if applied correctly. Apparently in the context of the OP, using insinuations relating to sexual abuse in the guise of homophobic rhetoric is seen as legitimate enough to not be too risky to the offenders.

Mrsmum

My opinion regarding bullying is that there are some people, be they children or adults, and in order for them to feel secure themselves, they must be sure someone else is below them in the pecking order. So they seek out any difference in someone else to pick at and make into an object of derision. That's the only way they feel in control themselves.

political analyst

RandomName2 wrote: »

Really I see that there's two separate issues.

1. The disclosure of confidential information concerning sexual abuse
2. Bullying

Bullying is bullying. If it's because of the family situation of a child (for instance if they are in foster care or adopted), their sexual orientation, physical appearance, race, it can all be incredibly vicious and dangerous to the health and well being of the victim.

People say that kids are just like that because they lack empathy. I think this is bull. Kids do it because they are acutely aware that social structures work, and that for all the empty words from adults that they shouldn't bully others, that in practice that it really depends on the type of bullying, and the social status of the target (or their family), that are actually the important aspects to consider.

"fat stupid ginge who has no friends" is not a phrase that will get you into much trouble, if applied correctly. Apparently in the context of the OP, using insinuations relating to sexual abuse in the guise of homophobic rhetoric is seen as legitimate enough to not be too risky to the offenders.

Why would it be regarded as 'legitimate' when it's obvious that the boy could not have consented to being touched sexually?

Even if a victim of bullying is gay, why would homophobic bullying still be seen as 'legitimate'?

1874

Deleted User wrote: »

Kids will attack another kid if they're getting more attention. At a young age, they're exploring power, projecting that power, hierarchy, etc.

Some kids are a joy.. but others.. it's simply human nature. Not the parents fault. Might as well blame God or your DNA.

Well, I think thats still a case of bad parenting, because if the parent doesn't know then they need to be educated. That is probably a waste of time and I think there needs to be education around childrens interactions before it starts to become a problem, then you head it off at the pass, before it kicks off. Children do explore boundaries, its up to Adults to pay attention and challenge children (just by talking) to help them understand what is right or better AND what is wrong or not acceptable, and why.
Help train them to be empathetic, assertive but not bullies. Bully's can be that way for different reasons, in a lot of cases its down to insecurity, but I wouldnt say it always is, it might actually be easier to deal with an insecure bully as they probably already have an idea what it is like to be the underdog.

RandomName2 wrote: »

Really I see that there's two separate issues.

1. The disclosure of confidential information concerning sexual abuse
2. Bullying

Bullying is bullying. If it's because of the family situation of a child (for instance if they are in foster care or adopted), their sexual orientation, physical appearance, race, it can all be incredibly vicious and dangerous to the health and well being of the victim.

People say that kids are just like that because they lack empathy. I think this is bull. Kids do it because they are acutely aware that social structures work, and that for all the empty words from adults that they shouldn't bully others, that in practice that it really depends on the type of bullying, and the social status of the target (or their family), that are actually the important aspects to consider.

"fat stupid ginge who has no friends" is not a phrase that will get you into much trouble, if applied correctly. Apparently in the context of the OP, using insinuations relating to sexual abuse in the guise of homophobic rhetoric is seen as legitimate enough to not be too risky to the offenders.

Wrong attitudes need to be challenged, children need to be guided to help them know what is right and what is wrong, possibly in the face of contradictory information from a badly informed or ignorant parent, education over social interactions needs to take that into account too.