How old would you date?

YellowLead

Each to their own. If 40 something men want to date 20 something women off they go! Plenty of men in their 40s are attractive to younger women - more money, more knowing what they want, often treat women better etc.

I would definitely find anyone over 25 dating a 17-19 year old creepy however. At that age they haven’t usually figured out that a man in their 40s looking to date them is only after them for their body. Plenty of older men prey on younger women not just for their bodies but because they haven’t figured life out yet and believe that if a man says he loves you that he does and if he sleeps with you it means he loves you etc.

There are also some men who are not youthful in mind or looks in their 50s who moan they can’t get dates and all they swipe on is 25-35. That’s just silly. Know your league! A hot or wealthy man in his 50s will attract whoever he wants. And vice versa of course!

mariaalice

I actually think gut instinct is a good guide as to what is predatory and creepy, as I said I was married to someone considerably older than me who I met at 19, who was definitely not a creep but it would be difficult to describe in words why he was not.

In other words, you just know the difference.

pgj2015

Potential-Monke wrote: »

See. This is what I'm talking about. I find what works for me in life, which just happens to be contrary to what most people consider "life", and these are the comments I get. I get called a man child and that I fantasise about riding my nieces friends...

At no point did I say that's I fantasise. I created a made up situation to prove a point. I said that I could just as easily have said I met a young one in a bar, which I now should have used as the hypothetical sutation as people are grabbing onto the idea of me perving on my nieces friends and not discussing the actual topic.

And again, i'm being told that we are a social species even though trying to be that social person nearly drove me suicide. I am honest and open here, because i'm just a random collection of letters, what's the point in lying. And I will admit to sometimes playing devils advocate, not because I do whatever the devils advocate does, but because I love seeing honest reactions to "socially unacceptable" situations. People don't like getting uncomfortable, and I get pleasure (of the non-sexual kind) from seeing that.

Let me be clear; there is nothing wrong with me. I'm the happiest I've been in 15 odd years. I don't need to be a social butterfly to be happy in life. I'm quite content with my negative outlook and expectations of nothing, because everything beyond that is then a bonus. Please, please, please stop telling me there's something wrong with me, because one day I'll start believing it again and I'll end up killing myself trying to be someone I'm not. Everyone is different, and while my outlook is quite negative, I'm happy, and i'm not disturbing anyone elses life by being so. It's not like I go around with a megaphone saying this. I'm realtively healthy, i'm content, i'm happy as I can be. I appreciate the concern, but I respectfully decline any suggestions as I honestly don't need them.

Being social was a necessity in older times. It's not anymore. There's too many of us as is, and it's only getting worse I reckon. But don't worry, I won't be procreating, so my negativitiy will die with me sometime in the next 50 odd years.

Having sex is being social and you want that so in a way you do want to be social.

Gamestart1000

mariaalice wrote: »

I actually think gut instinct is a good guide as to what is predatory and creepy, as I said I was married to someone considerably older than me who I met at 19, who was definitely not a creep but it would be difficult to describe in words why he was not.

In other words, you just know the difference.

Bottom line is this, there is nothing wrong two consenting adults being in a relationship together. You may find it creepy for a 40 year old to be in a relationship with a 20 year old, but there is actually nothing wrong with, it just goes against your personal taste. Similarly, some people find homosexual relationships creepy and they just know their gut instinct is right. But their gut instinct is irrelvant, there is nothing wrong with same sex relationships. Gut instincts are often biased

Gamestart1000

Potential-Monke wrote: »

See. This is what I'm talking about. I find what works for me in life, which just happens to be contrary to what most people consider "life", and these are the comments I get. I get called a man child and that I fantasise about riding my nieces friends...

At no point did I say that's I fantasise. I created a made up situation to prove a point. I said that I could just as easily have said I met a young one in a bar, which I now should have used as the hypothetical sutation as people are grabbing onto the idea of me perving on my nieces friends and not discussing the actual topic.

And again, i'm being told that we are a social species even though trying to be that social person nearly drove me suicide. I am honest and open here, because i'm just a random collection of letters, what's the point in lying. And I will admit to sometimes playing devils advocate, not because I do whatever the devils advocate does, but because I love seeing honest reactions to "socially unacceptable" situations. People don't like getting uncomfortable, and I get pleasure (of the non-sexual kind) from seeing that.

Let me be clear; there is nothing wrong with me. I'm the happiest I've been in 15 odd years. I don't need to be a social butterfly to be happy in life. I'm quite content with my negative outlook and expectations of nothing, because everything beyond that is then a bonus. Please, please, please stop telling me there's something wrong with me, because one day I'll start believing it again and I'll end up killing myself trying to be someone I'm not. Everyone is different, and while my outlook is quite negative, I'm happy, and i'm not disturbing anyone elses life by being so. It's not like I go around with a megaphone saying this. I'm realtively healthy, i'm content, i'm happy as I can be. I appreciate the concern, but I respectfully decline any suggestions as I honestly don't need them.

Being social was a necessity in older times. It's not anymore. There's too many of us as is, and it's only getting worse I reckon. But don't worry, I won't be procreating, so my negativitiy will die with me sometime in the next 50 odd years.

Are you just bad at socialiasing so you gave up on it?

Leg End Reject

Potential-Monke, I didn't call you a man-child. I can only look at things through the prism of my own life experience, so naturally I can be wrong.

However, based on your previous posts here it does seem that you have shut yourself away. There's nothing wrong with being introverted and enjoying your own company, all I would say is that we all need intimacy at times, and no one will knock on your door looking for you.

Padre_Pio

Tom O Neil wrote: »

I'm 34 and a girl 10-15 years younger would be the ideal.

Sure it is

Potential-Monke

pgj2015 wrote: »

Having sex is being social and you want that so in a way you do want to be social.

I would take it, but im not actively looking for it. Coming up 5 years now, and I'm not pushed either way. Would be nice to have, couldn't be arsed looking for it. Especially during a pandemic anyway.

Gamestart1000 wrote: »

Are you just bad at socialiasing so you gave up on it?

Define bad. I never thought of myself as the life and soul, but others would have said I am. I still get asked to go drinking, because I'm good craic when I'm drunk. But I know after the drunk and good craic is the 2-5 days of depression so I decline. I just don't like drink anymore, and nearly everything is still wrapped around drink.

Leg End Reject wrote: »

Potential-Monke, I didn't call you a man-child. I can only look at things through the prism of my own life experience, so naturally I can be wrong.

However, based on your previous posts here it does seem that you have shut yourself away. There's nothing wrong with being introverted and enjoying your own company, all I would say is that we all need intimacy at times, and no one will knock on your door looking for you.

You didn't, the person after you did. So apologies if I posted it to mean otherwise.

And yes, I have. Its working excellently for me, especially during the pandemic. But I still had a small social life. I had a house I used to visit and maybe spend the night, smoking and playing games, D&D, watch films, etc. But that's gone now because they accidentally got pregnant.

And yeah, I did go through a phase of wanting intimacy, but its been so long, and we're in a pandemic, so I've no reason to go looking. People mentioning ages above, and at 37 I'm in the bracket of women who are mad to settle down and have a kid, both things I don't want. If I go lower, I'm a creep. I've no interest in older women. So not looking, wanting or needing is suiting me fine.

I can't say what I'll be like next year, so maybe it'll all change someday, but I'm happy out right now.

pgj2015

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I would take it, but im not actively looking for it. Coming up 5 years now, and I'm not pushed either way. Would be nice to have, couldn't be arsed looking for it. Especially during a pandemic anyway.




Define bad. I never thought of myself as the life and soul, but others would have said I am. I still get asked to go drinking, because I'm good craic when I'm drunk. But I know after the drunk and good craic is the 2-5 days of depression so I decline. I just don't like drink anymore, and nearly everything is still wrapped around drink.



You didn't, the person after you did. So apologies if I posted it to mean otherwise.

And yes, I have. Its working excellently for me, especially during the pandemic. But I still had a small social life. I had a house I used to visit and maybe spend the night, smoking and playing games, D&D, watch films, etc. But that's gone now because they accidentally got pregnant.

And yeah, I did go through a phase of wanting intimacy, but its been so long, and we're in a pandemic, so I've no reason to go looking. People mentioning ages above, and at 37 I'm in the bracket of women who are mad to settle down and have a kid, both things I don't want. If I go lower, I'm a creep. I've no interest in older women. So not looking, wanting or needing is suiting me fine.

I can't say what I'll be like next year, so maybe it'll all change someday, but I'm happy out right now.

Not all women in their 30's want kids.

Potential-Monke

Potential-Monke wrote: »

And yeah, I did go through a phase of wanting intimacy, but its been so long, and we're in a pandemic, so I've no reason to go looking. People mentioning ages above, and at 37 I'm in the bracket of women who are mad to settle down and have a kid, both things I don't want. If I go lower, I'm a creep. I've no interest in older women. So not looking, wanting or needing is suiting me fine.

I can't say what I'll be like next year, so maybe it'll all change someday, but I'm happy out right now.

If you date younger women, you are not a creep. Being a creep comes about from your behavior with them. If you respect them, and treat them right.. then who cares what other people say?

I've learned over the years that many people did what was expected of them by society, or their own families. They settled. Oh, sure, they found someone they "loved" but a lot of the time, they got into an early relationship, decided this was it, and settled down, without truly exploring what options were available to them. That was their choice.

In any case, live the life you want to lead. Don't allow yourself to be held up to standards that most people don't align themselves to.

I have zero intention of settling down with someone. It just isn't something I'm particularly interested in, and I will continue to date. Whether that's someone ten or twenty years younger, it doesn't matter. What matters is whether I'm happy with the person I am, and how I behave.

Leave others better than when you met them. Improve their experiences through knowing you. No doubt some here will take some kind of cynical stance against that.. but that's more to do with their own inadequacies.

I'd strongly recommend shifting your environment. Take a weekend somewhere else. Hell, pack up, and move somewhere with a larger population. Dating in your 30s/40s in a small population is crap. A larger population provides more opportunities to meet people who won't care about age differences, and will be happy to stay with you.

As a side note, I still roleplay quite a bit. Vampire the Masquerade, Mage, Wraith etc. Do what makes you happy.

Snails pace

I'm 26. I'd go down to 21 and up to mid thirties. Going from my own experiences the different girls I have dated were a year or 2 younger and one girl who was a bit older. When I was younger I only went for looks and nothing else. Now looks are only a part of the whole picture, is their life together, a bit of class, intelligent, interesting and talkative, some common interests.

Roughly same age.....asking for whole world of awkwardness going too much towards older or younger