How old would you date?

breezy1985

Tig98 wrote: »

As a gay 23 year old my range is 21 to 30. Generally by the time a man is 30 you can tell if he takes care of himself or not, its a good indication of the future.

We all know the "half your age plus seven" for dating younger, any rule of thumb for the other way?

Well surely it's half your partners age plus 7.
So if you are 23 then 30/31 cause for him it's 30 ÷ 2 + 7 = 22

irishguitarlad

Biggest age gap I had was with a 46 year old woman when I was 25, the sex was incredible. We weren't in a relationship though, probably the oldest I'd go for in relationship would be 35, I'm 30 now.

pickarooney

Tig98 wrote: »

As a gay 23 year old my range is 21 to 30. Generally by the time a man is 30 you can tell if he takes care of himself or not, its a good indication of the future.

We all know the "half your age plus seven" for dating younger, any rule of thumb for the other way?

X = (y/2) + 7
X -7 = y/2
2x - 14 = y

So, twice your age -14 I guess?

Qwertyminger

KathleenGrant wrote: »

He was 34. I was more than 20 years older..
Still same age difference believe it or not.

irishguitarlad wrote: »

Biggest age gap I had was with a 46 year old woman when I was 25, the sex was incredible. We weren't in a relationship though, probably the oldest I'd go for in relationship would be 35, I'm 30 now.

Were ye riding about ten years? Ye should have given a relationship a go at that rate!

cnocbui

This is the wrong question: how old would they date, being more germaine.

KathleenGrant

Qwertyminger wrote: »

Were ye riding about ten years? Ye should have given a relationship a go at that rate!

Was that question for me?

manonboard

When i was 34/M.

Dated someone 20/F for a year. It was interesting. Fun. Enjoyable.

Many parts are just like any other parts of any relationship. The sex was fun and I find her deeply attractive physically, though so does everyone. She's a big Instagram account person. Intelligence wise, a ****ing genius. Personality wise, quite open to people and their differences.

The emotional side had much greater differences.

On one hand, it was really enjoyable to pass on all your learned information and lessons to someone who was receptive to them and quite eager to learn. It taught me alot how absolutely brutal young adults are to themselves.. It reminded me so much of myself and just how unkind we are to ourselves. As you get older, you usually have learned to be a nicer, kinder more patient person. Passing that stuff on really helped them improve their own self worth and self treatment. Also being able to demonstrate good communication, and that problems are something you overcome together and you're not against each other. etc.
She dated others since, her own age groups, and found the important parts of the relationships lacking in those areas.
Wonderfully open to travel and new experiences just for the sake of it. Really like that about people younger than me. No worrying about Jobs/security/babies constantly.

The negative side of is just more of the same coin. Absolute mad behavior which lacks care, attention or safety. Terrible anxiety driven insecurities, desperate need for approval. It's really sad how young people are so hard on themselves. I can remember internally being just as messed up before you learn to like yourself and become someone you like.
Alot of nice happy times just ruined by constant silly problems which an older person would learn to ignore.
Consideration is frequently overlooked and there is alot of greed. After the emotions pass, she was really able to see it and readjust.

There is definitely something said for being introduced to the new generation's views of the world. They're exceptionally smart compared to my gen when we were 20. Worlds of opportunity for them, but absolute monsters to themselves in the kindness department. Social media was sooo important, and the cause of so many woes.

It was a great time, but I wouldnt do it again. There is more substantial offering from people 27+ over because they have alot more understanding about what its like to actually be a person, so they can treat and offer you alot more because they empathise.

IAMAMORON

Tig98 wrote: »

As a gay 23 year old my range is 21 to 30. Generally by the time a man is 30 you can tell if he takes care of himself or not, its a good indication of the future.

We all know the "half your age plus seven" for dating younger, any rule of thumb for the other way?

Your own age minus 7 years doubled.

Good luck.

Irish_rat

Irish_rat wrote: »

What's the biggest age gap you would date?

I'm seeing someone now that is 10 years older. It's going great.

I have no hard and fast rules on things like that. Every relationship is different and every person is different - and each variable is balanced by the others.

The relationship I am in now for 15 years though has 10 year gap which is definitely the largest I have ever had. Not that I have had many.

The Inbetween is mine

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

I'm 25 now.

I generally prefer someone a similar age or younger than myself.

I have found dating older men, that they can be quite closed minded and outright reject accepted societal norms about gender and the toxicity of patriarchal societies and it can be exhausting trying to explain decades of modern sociological research.

Most younger guys are much more in tune with what is acceptable and the first date doesn't end up as me having to explain basic ground rules.

You sound like a fun first date

Half my age plus 4. I am well into middle age

Wibbs

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

I have found dating older men, that they can be quite closed minded and outright reject accepted societal norms about gender and the toxicity of patriarchal societies and it can be exhausting trying to explain decades of modern sociological research.

Well someone trotting out stuff about the patriarchy and all that can be equally exhausting to listen to, especially when most of it easily debated away for the skewed nonsense politic it is, so there's that. Plus it's not a new thing. I've met women 20 years ago who were coming out with it, though worryingly it's become far more mainstream.

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

I'm 25 now.

I have found dating older men, that they can be quite closed minded and outright reject accepted societal norms about gender and the toxicity of patriarchal societies and it can be exhausting trying to explain decades of modern sociological research.

Most younger guys are much more in tune with what is acceptable and the first date doesn't end up as me having to explain basic ground rules.

Most guys young or old would be very turned off by talk of gender norms and the Patriarchy. You must be very good looking for them to stick around. Or do they stick around for any length of time.

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

Most guys young or old would be very turned off by talk of gender norms and the Patriarchy.

Any deeply held politic that wanders into preachiness - and they tend to - will put off anyone, regardless of gender, unless they buy into it themselves of course, then it can most certainly work. So a male feminist would lap that up and there are enough of them about.

Wibbs

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

Actually I am as it happens - have had a lot of fun with lots of the guys that I've dated.

But it's a case of respect. If I'm on a date with a cis male and they don't recognize their innate privilege in a society like Ireland's, or denigrates the struggles of womxn or minorities, or engages in chauvinistic behavior like opening doors or holding chairs, then I need to remind them that we are living in the 21st century. I do however believe it is right for a man to pay for the first date, given the unequal situation brought about by the gender pay gap.

Annnnd we're on a wind up. "Womxn" :pac: Well I bloody well hope we are. :eek:

Do not start me on the pay gap...

breezy1985

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

I'm 25 now.

I generally prefer someone a similar age or younger than myself.

I have found dating older men, that they can be quite closed minded and outright reject accepted societal norms about gender and the toxicity of patriarchal societies and it can be exhausting trying to explain decades of modern sociological research.

Most younger guys are much more in tune with what is acceptable and the first date doesn't end up as me having to explain basic ground rules.

My last girlfriend was 9yrs younger than me and she was 23 at the time.
I would consider myself very socially liberal and some on boards even accuse me of being "woke" whereas she thought I was a dinosaur and was appalled at some of the things me and my 30 something friends said and found funny. A lot of my favorite comedies were out of bounds like Curb and especially South Park which I was raised on.
Except for the comedy though she was mostly right and people your age seem to be way more conscious and clued in about the world than my vacant generation

weldoninhio

My last 2 gfs have been 24 and 26, i'm almost 39. I'd say that'd be my lower limit for 'dating'. But if it was just a bit of fun, i'd have no problem playing hide the sausie with an 18yo if she was decent looking. Upwards, 42 would probably be the olders I'd date, but again, for fun i'd probably rattle up to about mid-fifties. 58 is the oldest I've met up with. That was a lot of fun.

Someone talking nonsense about patriarchy or womxn on a first date, would be given the gate in quick time.

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

Actually I am as it happens - have had a lot of fun with lots of the guys that I've dated.

But it's a case of respect. If I'm on a date with a cis male and they don't recognize their innate privilege in a society like Ireland's, or denigrates the struggles of womxn or minorities, or engages in chauvinistic behavior like opening doors or holding chairs, then I need to remind them that we are living in the 21st century. I do however believe it is right for a man to pay for the first date, given the unequal situation brought about by the gender pay gap.

Although you mean the exact opposite of what say, this sort of satire is necessary considering the increasingly boring hive mind that is becoming prevalent in society (and on boards) these days. The preferred pronoun idiocy in particular.

Signed,

This/that/these/those

breezy1985

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

I literally have no idea what you are trying to say.

I imagine your views on men though have been massively swayed by the replies since your first post and you feel real silly now : )

Leg End Reject

The Inbetween is mine wrote: »

You sound like a fun first date

No need for a condom I suspect ...

breezy1985

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

Well I thought your post about your younger ex gf was refreshingly introspective - so there is hope yet!

As she learned there is no hope for me. I will be calling my friends derogatory terms till the day I die

Antares35

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

Actually I am as it happens - have had a lot of fun with lots of the guys that I've dated.

But it's a case of respect. If I'm on a date with a cis male and they don't recognize their innate privilege in a society like Ireland's, or denigrates the struggles of womxn or minorities, or engages in chauvinistic behavior like opening doors or holding chairs, then I need to remind them that we are living in the 21st century. I do however believe it is right for a man to pay for the first date, given the unequal situation brought about by the gender pay gap.

This has to be a windup

Padre_Pio

I'm early 30's.
Generally dated from my age to maybe 5-6 years younger.
Definitely find it's easier now than when I was early 20's, maybe just because I'm in the "stable job, own home, own car" category.

I do find Irish women in early to mid 20's I talk to are very relationship/commitment phobic, like they're chasing an illusion of the "perfect" man and are quick to find flaws. That's a vast generalisation, but other men/women I know have said the same.
Maybe it's Tinder/Instagram/ Love Island stuff where there's always someone better around the corner. Suppose the same may be said for fellas in that age group, but I don't have many friends there.

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

But it's a case of respect. If I'm on a date with a cis male and they don't recognize their innate privilege in a society like Ireland's, or denigrates the struggles of womxn or minorities, or engages in chauvinistic behavior like opening doors or holding chairs, then I need to remind them that we are living in the 21st century. I do however believe it is right for a man to pay for the first date, given the unequal situation brought about by the gender pay gap.

You would wreck my head :D

Physicskid9

31 here. Attracted to women my age or older and only interested in guys under 23.

Antares35

Padre_Pio wrote: »

I'm early 30's.
Generally dated from my age to maybe 5-6 years younger.
Definitely find it's easier now than when I was early 20's, maybe just because I'm in the "stable job, own home, own car" category.

I do find Irish women in early to mid 20's I talk to are very relationship/commitment phobic, like they're chasing an illusion of the "perfect" man and are quick to find flaws. That's a vast generalisation, but other men/women I know have said the same.
Maybe it's Tinder/Instagram/ Love Island stuff where there's always someone better around the corner. Suppose the same may be said for fellas in that age group, but I don't have many friends there.




You would wreck my head :D

I've a friend (female) like that. Lives vicariously through her social media image. Everything has to be Instagramed etc or it didn't really happen. She's so harsh on men, I've seen her reject perfectly nice men because they are "too nice" or "trying too hard" etc. Then she complains that she's still single and reminds me how lucky I am to have a nice partner - eh he's the kind of guy she wouldn't have given a second date to!

Antares35

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend (female) like that. Lives vicariously through her social media image. Everything has to be Instagramed etc or it didn't really happen. She's so harsh on men, I've seen her reject perfectly nice men because they are "too nice" or "trying too hard" etc. Then she complains that she's still single and reminds me how lucky I am to have a nice partner - eh he's the kind of guy she wouldn't have given a second date to!

Set her up on here and tell her to slide into my PMs.

breezy1985

Physicskid9 wrote: »

31 here. Attracted to women my age or older and only interested in guys under 23.

Thats interesting is the younger guys just a sex thing or something ?

If it's not too personal a question as Eric Idle once said

ohnonotgmail

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

Actually I am as it happens - have had a lot of fun with lots of the guys that I've dated.

But it's a case of respect. If I'm on a date with a cis male and they don't recognize their innate privilege in a society like Ireland's, or denigrates the struggles of womxn or minorities, or engages in chauvinistic behavior like opening doors or holding chairs, then I need to remind them that we are living in the 21st century. I do however believe it is right for a man to pay for the first date, given the unequal situation brought about by the gender pay gap.

just out of curiosity how do you pronounce that when you are on these dates?

bitofabind

Oldest I dated was 44 when I was 34 and that was my upper limit. Youngest, maybe 5 years.

What you gain in emotional maturity you can sometimes lose in battle-hardened jadedness with older men I find. There can be an inflexibility and rigidness of thinking based on their experience of heartbreak, loss, relationships etc. Younger lads can be a bit lighter compared to that, less judgemental, more open-minded. But then emotionally clueless. Less self-aware.

My partner now is one year older, about equivalent levels of jadedness and openness

Tazium

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

or engages in chauvinistic behavior like opening doors or holding chairs, then I need to remind them that we are living in the 21st century

Doesn't matter to me what gender, beliefs, religion, affiliations, or colour any person behind me identifies with. If I'm in front, I hold the door.

_Kaiser_

Mid-40s myself. Would probably go for between early 30s and late 40s. Anything outside of that and you're just in different places life-wise I find.

AdrianBalboa wrote: »

I may have strayed in the past with younger men but that was a long time ago, we have had marriage counselling and we need to move on. I warned my husband that if he ever considered leaving me for a young one that I would ride him so hard in the courts all he would have left are the ****ing fillings in his teeth. We’re in our early forties.

Wait, what? It was OK for you (multiples times apparently?) because you had counselling and need to move on, but if he did it you'd strip him for all he's worth?!

Equality, eh? Also shows the problem with our Justice/Family Law system too.

Tazium

Tazium wrote: »

Doesn't matter to me what gender, beliefs, religion, affiliations, or colour any person behind me identifies with. If I'm in front, I hold the door.

I do the same as is polite. We'd be scolded by Sorcha though.

breezy1985

Tazium wrote: »

Doesn't matter to me what gender, beliefs, religion, affiliations, or colour any person behind me identifies with. If I'm in front, I hold the door.

“type plus distance equals no door hold” the Larry David rule

howamidifferent

I'm 56 M , would prefer 28 to 45 female. PM's welcome

Antares35

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I do the same as is polite. We'd be scolded by Sorcha though.

I'd hold it too but I'm a woman so maybe my gesture wouldn't be seen as discrimination, or maybe it makes me not a woman or something who knows anymore.

Physicskid9

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

This article will help if you're not familiar with the term:

https:// medium.com/@makemuse/intersectional-feminist-vocab-using-the-term-womxn-b0076aa99794

Generally, I pronounce it the same in spoken word, but depending on the audience I may wish to emphasise it, and it that case I go for 'womanix'.

Obvious troll

ohnonotgmail

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

This article will help if you're not familiar with the term:

https:// medium.com/@makemuse/intersectional-feminist-vocab-using-the-term-womxn-b0076aa99794

Generally, I pronounce it the same in spoken word, but depending on the audience I may wish to emphasise it, and it that case I go for 'womanix'.

I'm familiar with the term, I asked how it was pronounced. pronouncing womxn as womanix just sounds stupid.

Antares35

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

That's fine. It's the oppressive denigrating behavior of rushing ahead to get the door for the 'girl' or trying to hold out my chair, or tries to order for me that I cannot abide.

It's ok if he pays for you though.

Antares35

Physicskid9 wrote: »

Obvious troll

That's trollix to you

The Inbetween is mine

Physicskid9 wrote: »

Obvious troll

Glass houses

breezy1985

The Inbetween is mine wrote: »

Glass houses

I know it's class isn't it

The Inbetween is mine

I'm a hetro male...in my 40's.....and attracted to women.
I'm a dying breed it seems

doublejobbing 2

Sorcha Dhuisigh _She_Her_ wrote: »

I'm 25 now.

I generally prefer someone a similar age or younger than myself.

I have found dating older men, that they can be quite closed minded and outright reject accepted societal norms about gender and the toxicity of patriarchal societies and it can be exhausting trying to explain decades of modern sociological research.

Most younger guys are much more in tune with what is acceptable and the first date doesn't end up as me having to explain basic ground rules.

3/10. Must troll harder.

breezy1985

The Inbetween is mine wrote: »

I'm a hetro male...in my 40's.....and attracted to women.
I'm a dying breed it seems

Your hetro and attracted to women. Can't be many of them around

The Inbetween is mine

breezy1985 wrote: »

Your hetro and attracted to women. Can't be many of them around

You'd be surprised...quite a few guys aren't attracted to women..and claim to be hetero...
could by misogyny loves company

Womanix!!

grassylawn

Max 22. Any older and it wouldn't be worth the risk of the wife finding out. I'm 41.

Better make it explicit that this is a joke, in case she has a look at my posts on this.

The Inbetween is mine

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Womanix!!

A woman with bollix....?

Antares35

The Inbetween is mine wrote: »

A woman with bollix....?

A person who menstruates, who wait, what?

Christ, my daughter's only a wee one and I'm already wondering how the hell I'm going to teach her about all this new fangled stuff that I barely get my head around myself. There'll be no room left inside her poor head for useful stuff

Wibbs

Antares35 wrote: »

Would you not save your energy for helping genuinely dis-empowered women, you know like females suffering FGM and child brides etc.

Populist "feminism" is almost entirely the preserve of about the most pampered demographic on the planet; young, White, middle class college girls trying to figure out life. So the concerns of this "feminism" are almost entirely the concerns in the lives of same. The things you mention are at best talismans for beating the imaginary patriarchy over the head and a way to show their virtue, however temporarily. Like I said they've been around a while, social media and some talking heads in other media just gives them a bigger platform. The almost always grow out of it and get a clue about humanity and life, or not, if they find a way to monetise it for the next batch coming up.