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Dirty jokes

  • 28-01-2021 4:57pm
    #1
    Samsonsmasher
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 610 ✭✭✭


    We need cheering up so I will get the ball rolling.

    A woman was heading home on a late DART when a guy on and sat across from her. After polite smiles the train continued on until the guy suddenly sneezed took out his penis and wiped it with a hanky and put it back in his trousers.
    She was shocked and said nothing at first thinking she was hallucinating.
    Five minutes later he sneezes again takes out his penis and wipes with a hanky.
    "WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING???"
    "Oh I'm sorry madam but I have a genetic condition. Everytime I sneeze I cum."
    "Oh I am sorry that is a terrible affliction. What do you take for it?"
    "Pepper."


Comments

  • #2
    Gregor Samsa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,095 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    On my birthday, my parents gave me a load of dirt and sand.

    I appreciate the sediment, but...


  • #3
    Aongus Von Bismarck
    Registered Users Posts: 1,794 ✭✭✭Aongus Von Bismarck


    What do you call a bra stretched across a road?

    A booby trap!


  • #4
    McGinniesta
    Registered Users Posts: 4,402 ✭✭✭McGinniesta


    Did yoiu hear the one about the dyslexic pimp?

    He bought a warehouse.


  • #5
    ablelocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,807 ✭✭✭ablelocks


    when i was younger, i was kidnapped by a mime artist.

    she did unspeakable things to me.


  • #6
    Alpha Romeo
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭Alpha Romeo


    Do I look fat in this?

    If I’m honest, do you promise not to get mad?!

    Of course not honey!

    I'm fcuking your sister..


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  • #7
    Aglomerado
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,780 ✭✭✭Aglomerado


    How did the artist get out of prison?
    He drew an arse on the wall and got out through the hole!


  • #8
    Bobblehats
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,707 ✭✭✭Bobblehats


    Smut


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