Going bald at 23

ifeelabreeze

I'm 23.
I shave my head (2mm all over) and I try to keep what measly facial hair I have as stubble, because I can't grow a beard.
I started going bald quite young and it just got to the point where I buzzed it off.

To my surprise most people told me it suits me.
It's definitely a case of 'well it usually looks weird on young lads but for some reason it works with you'.
My sample size is small but my similar age, female coworkers seem to think it suits me, not that I've directly asked them but sure.

I don't know if I like it.
I feel like it's become a defining feature and it's a weird one at my age.
I don't know any lads my age who are as cueball as I am.

I never bothered with treatment/medication, I'm sort of wondering if I should still try it before committing to the chrome dome.
Or even just trying the treatment to try get some sort of a beard going (minoxidil beard - I am not looking for medical advice!).

To be honest I just don't know what to think, and I've had it this way for nearly a year.
I don't think it looks terrible - most people seem to agree, I have gotten the odd Caillou joke and that I look ill, I think that's more a sign that I need to start hitting the gym.

I just feel it's weird for a guy my age to be bald, and that it'll affect my dating life.
It's obviously better than balding but if I could get my curly brown hair back should I not at least try?

I just don't know what to think really.
I'm also just deathly bored so I thought I'd ask ye lot.
Have any of ye gone bald at a relatively young age, how's it been?
I doubt anyone here can help in regards to dating but feel free to chime in.

I'm guessing I'll get a few 'well I'm bald and my missus loves it', or 'my husband is bald I love it', which is great for future reference but I'm 23.
Your bald husband is surrounded by balding, bald or god like heads of divine hair.
I've never met a fella my age who's also bald.
Even mid to late 20s doesn't seem all that common.

Anyway, what do ye think?

punisher5112

You're lucky I was 21

pwurple

Does it matter if it's common? Better to be unique in this world of sameness surely.

Own it, as they say.

There is no point fighting it if you're already losing it so early. I keep mine extremely short as it suits me more that biccing it.

Oink

It’s not going to affect your dating life very much unless you let it. Some women will like you, some won’t.
Being self-conscious about it, lacking self-confidence, obsessing about it, that’s where the issue is going to be if you let it.
You’re bald. Shave your head, move on.

1hnr79jr65

While i know its not the same as natural baldness, ive been shaving my head since i was 19 and tbh it always feels better to me. Being bald isnt bad, i know a few look down on it, but honestly id ignore such ignorant people if they think hair issues are a problem then they have sad lives.

Some of the most famous people in the world are bald, Samuel Jackson, Patrick Steward, Jeff Bezos to name a few. Some benefits include water drying off ur head quicker, stay cooler in summer

dinky earnshaw

I started going bald at 21 aswell and shaved it. It won't hold you back that much. I found at that age a lot of girls my age didn't like it but as you get older that'll change.
It didn't really bother me at the time just accepted it but if you don't like it go get the treatment. Whatever you're happy and confident with do that.

Dtp1979

Isn’t it well known that most women prefer bald men?
Own the look. Hit the gym if you want.

gman2k

Was your father and grandfather the same? If yes, then that's just life.
Embrace it as a feature and an aspect of change.

wildwillow

You are by no means unique.

As a teacher I've seen lots of receeding hairlines in 16 and 17 year old boys.

Your attitude is what's important and you seem to be relaxed about it. Be self assured and confident and lack of hair won't matter.

ManOfMystery

A lot of men will submit to hair loss at some point, for some it will be younger than others unfortunately.

Whilst the advice is usually "shave it and embrace it!" it's a difficult thing to deal with and get your head round (no pun intended). It's great to throw out perfectly chiselled examples of embracing baldness like Jason Statham, but we don't all have that facial structure or look and many come off more like Phil Mitchell.

The way I see it (and I'm receding a bit so have looked at these before), the viable options are:

1) Shave it and embrace it. Requires much more mental and emotional effort but once you do 'embrace it', you're unlikely to ever look back. You have an advantage if people have told you multiple times that you suit it. Confidence is key here, I've a couple of mates who are bald and very outgoing and confident, I don't think anyone ever bats an eyelid at their lack of hair.

2) Go with a Minoxidil/Regaine type regimen to slow the baldness and - possibly - restore some of it. This will mean committing financially to purchasing these treatments and applying them regularly, probably for the rest of your life. Some people see fantastic results, some don't.

3) Consider a hair transplant. They're more affordable now than before and also becoming more normalised; where once they were only used by wealthy people or celebs, now it's more likely to be someone you know. One of my work colleagues had it done and I won't lie, he had fantastic results - much better than I expected. I'd seriously consider it myself down the line. Some people say that if it's relatively normalised now to get boob jobs and lip fillers and so on, why not a hair transplant? I agree, but I wouldn't even use that comparison - there is nothing toxic or alien involved in a hair transplant, you are literally moving your own hair from one part of your head to another. The downside of this is the financial cost initially, and the fact it may need revisited again in future if hair recession continues.

There are other methods out there such as hair-piece/ hair fibers (and some snake-oil methods I'd never advise anyone to consider), but I think the options above are the best 'natural' ones which let you either keep your head bald or keep your own hair. I haven't seen too many wigs on men that look amazing unless they're hideously expensive, and the hair fibers look terrible and are useless in wet weather, high wind, swimming, etc.

tara73

I think you are giving this waaay too much thought.

A good male friend of mine was becoming the bald patch on his head in his twenties. You could feel it was bothering him, but one day he said: And nobody cares but just yourself.

I don't know but this simple statement did it for me and I still have it in the back of my head and tell myself when I think about some physical state or appearance I'm not happy about.
I think it is that simple, we see and care about stuff from ourselves and think others see it and judge us about it but it's actually not the case. People have in general better things or more important things on their plate than caring about other peoples baldness, grey hair or whatever.

And there are always women out there who doesn't like baldness, as there are a lot out there who doesn't care or even like it.

Supercell

Op i started losing my hair pretty much around the same time I stopped growing.
My father and grandfather were bald and I remember my dad teasing me as a kid to enjoy my hair while I still had it!, so in a way it was no surprise and didn't bother me much to be honest.
I just shaved my head every weekend once it became obvious, still do.
Didn't really affect my life at all, I'm married , three kids , house and all that. Only downside I can really report is a colder head on a windy day than most others
Accept it, dont worry about it, its 100% normal, its not going to hold you back in life at all, unless you decide that it will.

punisher5112

Great for swimming, less resistance.

Shaved mine at 21, never grew back so kept it cut with a Philips hair trimmer for years and about 5 or so years ago I said feck that going to use an actual blade, smooth, no catching in t shirts etc and again super smooth.

YellowLead

Own it, and it seems like you do! It’s off putting when guys are really receding and trying to comb over etc to hide it, it can be aging, but shaved heads are very sexy to a lot of women including me. If people have said it suits you then there’s your answer.

pgj2015

shave it and forget about it. I have heard joe rogan talk about his hair transplant, he said he regrets getting it and now he has the head shaved but he has a big scar on the back of his head from the transplant.

The point about you needing to hit the gym I disagree with. I have never been in a gym in my life, im slim, play football and run but gyms don't appeal to me. I don't have a six pack and am slim as I said but I have never had a problem attracting women. none of them ever said they would prefer me to have a gym body. I know I am slim and people have said it to me but not in an insulting way, even if they did, I wouldnt care, im happy the way I am.

Neil strauss is bald. just saying.

ifeelabreeze

punisher5112 wrote: »

You're lucky I was 21

Well I started at 19, it just got to the point of no return at 22, I shaved at 23.

ifeelabreeze

pwurple wrote: »

Does it matter if it's common? Better to be unique in this world of sameness surely.

Own it, as they say.

I'd rather be unique as the guy with the Ferrari rather than as the guy who's bald at 23.

In all seriousness I don't see it as a positive, I don't wake up feeling glad that I'm bald unlike every other 20 something with a quiff and a combover.

ifeelabreeze

Oink wrote: »

It’s not going to affect your dating life very much unless you let it. Some women will like you, some won’t.
Being self-conscious about it, lacking self-confidence, obsessing about it, that’s where the issue is going to be if you let it.
You’re bald. Shave your head, move on.

I think that advice usually rings through more so for older men.
When it's far more common to see a balding head, a bald head isn't a bad sight.

But when virtually every guy around you has a full head of hair, it stands out, and not necessarily as a positive.

I never bothered with treatment or medication, and I'm thinking I might have passed it off before seriously considering it..

ifeelabreeze

Dtp1979 wrote: »

Isn’t it well known that most women prefer bald men?
Own the look. Hit the gym if you want.

I think it's more so most women (in there 30s and up) prefer bald over balding.

Mjolnir

I was going bald around 21, though I'd gone to phases of having it super tight as a kid or shaved since 18.
It never once effected dating negatively, women respond to confidence, if you're bald and own it you're half way there.

I get patchy on the cheeks and considered that but don't like the idea of always having to use it, if you've no problem buying it every month go for it just watch the side effects.

I think going to the gym is a great idea. It'll give you mental/physical health benefits, and it'll make you feel more confident when you put on a bit of mass.

If you do decide to attend a gym, ask for an appointment with a fitness instructor who'll set you on the right path.

As for your hair, it's a bummer that you're losing it but what can you do? As for facial hair, I didn't get my full growth until my mid to late 20s so you'll probably get a fuller beard soon.

Definitely try the fitness idea though.

tara73

where's this thing with the gym coming from? what has going to the gym got to do with becoming bald?

OP, as it's bothering you that much and obviously effecting your self esteem, the advice is going to speak to a councillor to build up your self worth.

building up muscle mass is not solving this psychological problem.

ifeelabreeze

tara73 wrote: »

where's this thing with the gym coming from? what has going to the gym got to do with becoming bald?

OP, as it's bothering you that much and obviously effecting your self esteem, the advice is going to speak to a councillor to build up your self worth.

building up muscle mass is not solving this psychological problem.

I think the gym advice is well placed.
I think working out/exercise can work wonders on your mental health.

It's really not that big of an issue for me, it not like it keep me up at night.
In reality it's just something that crops up every now and then.

I've been speaking to someone for the past number of weeks, we're now looking at ending the sessions because there's no real need.

My issue is merely I'm going bald at a young age, I'm lucky enough that people seem to think it looks good on me.
But I just feel like I wrote off fixing the issue too soon, I jumped to the clippers without seriously considering let along trying to fix the issue at hand - hair loss.

Being bald is 100 times better than going bald, shaving my head has worked wonders for my mental health.
If there was no cure, no remediation, no hair loss treatment/prevention available I'd count my lucky stars because I at least look alright with a shaved head.
I just think I'd rather have hair and I never even tried to stop it receding.

Sonic the Shaghog

I shave mine as bald too, luckily have the head shape and can grow a full beard so keep a few days stubble

Stay away from the pills, can lead to awful side effects, lots of lads lost the ability to get an erection and never fully recovered even after giving up the pills. Imagine gaining a head of hair back to get a woman and you can't even get it up anymore

I'd give the over the counter regaine a go for the face alright should encourage the beard growth worked for lots lads

hawley

Have you considered getting a wig? I've been wearing one for a few years. Some people did make comments about it at the start, but haven't had anything said to me recently. The quality of them is improving the whole time, lovely and comfortable. It takes a bit of getting used to but I just couldn't cope without hair.
http://www.wigworld.ie/mens-wigs/

tara73

tara73 wrote: »

where's this thing with the gym coming from? what has going to the gym got to do with becoming bald?

OP, as it's bothering you that much and obviously effecting your self esteem, the advice is going to speak to a councillor to build up your self worth.

building up muscle mass is not solving this psychological problem.

Uh, maybe because the op mentioned it... in his op.

If you don't think exercise is good for psychology, then I don't know what to tell ya...

Tork

Don't try to grow a beard just because you're going bald. It isn't a look that suits everyone and it can look like they are overcompensating.

stateofflux

Caring what other people think will affect your dating life way more than baldness.
Unless your head is shaped like a pyramid you will be fine. A lot of women like it also.

kerryjack

Number 1 all over, head and beard, I dont shave anymore kind of rough look alright especially when your 6,3 and 18 stone, chin up, chest out, work hard, buy yourself some nice clothes, a nice car, a nice house and you won't have any problem with the women believe me.

Wanderer78

Relative was in his late teens when his started going, upset him greatly, eventually shaved it all off, he now loves it and looks great. Tough thing to accept, I'd seriously struggle with it as I've long hair