Plenty of Fish

Gympodie

Hi

I am curious to know what peoples experiences are with this dating site. I have been on this site for a week now and while it seems to be active with users, they don't seem to want to talk - at least from my experiences. I am always respectful, polite and friendly but to no avail. Is this the norm for most men? I have uploaded several decent photos (in a suit) and wrote a more than sufficient introduction of myself - but to no avail. They just don't seem to want to talk.

Is this par of the course? Or is it just me?

TP_CM

Internet dating can be hit and miss. I have had friends who met their life partner on PoF, and others who weren't so lucky for stretches of time. It's just like in night clubs and pubs there is an element of luck and unless you won the genetic lottery you might not be lucky every week.

If you have a few close female friends you could share your profile with them for their opinion. But take those opinions with a pinch of salt because it's very subjective and you should do it in a way you're happy with.

If you work on yourself mentally and physically and continue to put yourself out there, it will definitely happen. Best of luck.

Oink

Just guessing here, but they probably all have 200 mails in their inbox, 75% of which are from creeps and weirdos.
Keep at it for a while to see where it goes. You could try a paying site to see if you have better luck, but don’t go and spend hundreds of € on that.

Good luck.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

If you're a girl - you get inundated with messages from pervy men just looking for sex, most of which you ignore.

If you're a (nice) guy - you get ignored because the women miss your message because it's under the pile of mails from pervy men just looking for sex.

"Active with users" is a misnomer - most of the profiles are fake bots designed to make it look like that way. Or pervy men just looking for sex.

Everlong1

I have a lot of experience with dating sites. POF has an awful lot of profiles that are out of date. To start with you should try focussing on the New Users area so that you're targeting people who've just joined.

You have to remember also that there's an awful lot of messers and time wasters on these sites - women who'll suddenly decide to join up "for a laugh" with a few drinks on them, who have no intention of actually meeting anyone. You'll send dozens of messages and get no replies, so it is a numbers game. I have a standard introduction text that I simply copy and paste into every message as I discovered a long time ago that there was no point in tailoring a message to a specific member - it's a waste of time and energy.

You also need to make your profile stand out a bit by making it a bit humorous. What do you do with yourself in your spare time? In my spare time I'm a singer/songwriter and music nut so would plug that heavily in my profile. I'd use a bit of cheeky humour as well.

I'd recommend Tinder over POF as well. I've had a few dates from Tinder but very few from POF. Have you tried Meetup.com by the way? It's not a dating site as such, but a platform for meeting people with similar interests. It's brilliant. I've met loads of nice women through it and have had a few relationships as a result. You're actually meeting loads of single women in one night rather than wasting your time sending endless emails on dating sites. Because of Covid of course it's inactive at the moment, but when things improve it'll be back up and running. I'd highly recommend it. Feel free to PM me for more info if you want.

Ubbquittious

Dating sites are gone to the dogs now because with covid very few want to meet up.

In the summer it should be better and they'll be all gagging for a roide

What is your opening line when sending a message?

I'd day the likes of Tinder has really ****ed up things for other services like that.

FintanMcluskey

Deleted User wrote: »

What is your opening line when sending a message?

“Send pic of Bob and vagine”

.anon.

Try not to feel too bad about it. I never had much luck on POF and I'm probably much more intelligent and better looking than you.

You say you're wearing a suit in your profile pictures. Why's that? It's not LinkedIn. That might be off-putting to some.

topdecko

PoF was a waste of time for me. Mostly bots and the vastly inflate their perceived activity to get people to register and pay.
Not using internet dating these days but wasn't a fan of this one back in the day.

holystungun9

Deleted User wrote: »

What is your opening line when sending a message?

u ok hun? works every time. wimin love questikns amd talkinhh so its science

Ubbquittious

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Dating sites are gone to the dogs now because with covid very few want to meet up.

In the summer it should be better and they'll be all gagging for a roide

this, my tinder and bumble meet ups and matches have shrunk but its lack of women wanting to meet up due to covid

Hamachi

.anon. wrote: »

I never had much luck on POF and I'm probably much more intelligent and better looking than you.

?.

It must be your winning personality that explains why you’re alone then.

punisher5112

Go after the single mothers on welfare day....

Capt'n Midnight

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

"Active with users" is a misnomer - most of the profiles are fake bots designed to make it look like that way.

There's no way of knowing that for sure unless there was a data breach and someone got access to the raw data.






0.0073% of Ashley Madison’s users were actually women

.anon.

Hamachi wrote: »

?.

It must be your winning personality that explains why you’re alone then.

I gave up on it and used other apps instead, where people seemed to have far better taste. Plenty of Fish? Plenty of Lesbians, more like.

Hamachi

.anon. wrote: »

I gave up on it and used other apps instead, where people seemed to have far better taste. Plenty of Fish? Plenty of Lesbians, more like.

Because they don’t fancy you?

Maybe they just have far better taste..

GhostyMcGhost

.anon. wrote: »

You say you're wearing a suit in your profile pictures. Why's that? It's not LinkedIn. That might be off-putting to some.

His best birthday suit

Plenty of Fish is full of conversation.

punisher5112

Local watering hole!!!

Get a lovely puppy, grows up get rid and get another, the women can't resist a puppy.....

up for anything

Most of the men on it my age are married and make no bones about it. They're looking for 'fun'... I hate that stupid euphemism. Their wives aren't interested in sex and don't talk to them anymore or else they're second or third hand and look it. I'm not bloody surprised. I don't want to talk to them never mind have sex with them either and I don't want to bear the brunt of their baggage.

Then there are the charmers who want to know would we be available a couple of afternoons a week when they in town on business. They have burner phones and condoms and want a relationship with us... just so long as their wives don't find out. At a guess, I would say that 85% of the guys who message me are 'happily married' and not wanting to rock the economic boat and the others have steamer trunks of chipped shoulders and a few are single but it's obvious why. Eleven years of POF and I've taken the chance of meeting two guys and both were not what it said on the tin. If you lose the rag with something I've said after only ten or so messages, I don't want to run the risk of meeting you in real life no matter how any times you apologise.

As for the photos men put up!!! When you're in your 50s and 60s, lying down on a bed taking a photo from above is not a great look as the auld jowls settle round your bare shoulders(shudder for the bare chest profile pic) and we just have a sixth sense about what the hand not holding your phone is doing. Get the toilet out of the background of the photo... throw a towel over it or anything at all... just don't have it on view or the grouting that's seen better days.

Profile pics of chaps standing displaying their dowries don't impress us either - 6 year old car, semi-d and either a boat or a bike in the drive. Also, it might be an idea to wash your comb-over too before taking a profile pic or putting on clothes that might just about pass muster in public. Clean clothes that fit would be good. Why on earth would you think that anyone would want to be seen in public with you looking like that!

It's also pretty obvious when you've put on a suit to impress and don't wear one every day. And nothing worse than a chap with a series of action photos. It makes me feel tired. All that cycling, hiking, cold water swimming - makes me feel shattered and slightly under pressure.

Also don't put up photos that have been ripped in two to eliminate your ex or photos that show you with your mother, ex or daughters. It doesn't make you seem like a nice guy who gets on well with women. It just makes you creepy.

Don't immediately call your ex a bitch. After a couple of messages when things don't seem to be going your way, resist the temptation to call us fat slag cnuts who you weren't interested in anyway.


All in all, it's not you, it's us. We have standards. :D:D

grassylawn

I still have the notifications in my email from joining it for a short time about a decade ago. I had a look and I see I had fourteen "wants to meet you" notifications in the first two days. I got plenty of unsolicited messages. Don't think I messaged anyone who logged in since I sent it and didn't respond positively.

Nice women too. I live a bit out of the way so I suppose it would have been higher if I was somewhere like Dublin.

Dunno. I'm not exceptionally handsome and wasn't super-successful or anything. I always found that just being straightforward and interested without being pushy worked very well with women in general.

Rodney Bathgate

Hamachi wrote: »

?.

It must be your winning personality that explains why you’re alone then.

No, pretty sure it is his modesty.

Necro

Midtown wrote: »

If you message foreign women they are more likely to reply. Even very good looking ones. South Americans and European groups can be found there. South Americans are most open to engage in my experience. If you messaged an Irish girl who had similar level of looks a reply would far less likely. They are less likely to reply in general. Bumble is a much better site. Women have to message first there and usually they can actually form a full sentence. There is a genuine effort on their part and no one word replies with no follow up questions. Don't take it personally on POF or a judgement on your value in anyway. It's the land of no replies if you are anyway decerning.

Dana Acidic Lightning wrote: »

Bumble (and most dating apps) with Irish women are dreadful, me and a few of my single mates find the same thing, you get matches but rarely they initiate the conversation or its pulling teeth out of them with weird high standards/notions about themselves (sit in a office with 4 single 20-30 something women, and the weird standards they turn down men for - dont like their hair/job/dont make enough yikes)

Mod:

Can we quit these generalisations please, there's no need for them whatsoever. Discuss the topic but don't have a go at any 'type' or 'race' of women.

Any more of this and we will have to close the thread. Thanks

.anon.

Hamachi wrote: »

Because they don’t fancy you?

Maybe they just have far better taste..

If they had better taste, they'd've replied to my messages like the women on Tinder did, I can assure you.

Scratchly

I think POF and the whole computer match up, find your idea partner based on a survey thing is outdated. And tbh I never had much luck with it. The matches are bull**** and there's way too much lead up to actually meeting someone. Last I looked at it they were trying to emulate tinder anyway.

Tinder is a glorified hot or not. Mostly men looking for sex and women looking for a confidence boost in my experience.

Bumble I've had a lot of luck with and met a good few women. No long term relationship came from it but it's the best balance I found of genuine people who you can get to know and meet in a reasonable time frame. Like tinder without all the time wasters, but I'm sure that will change as it gets more popular.

Homelander

Tinder is fairly crap now if you're not someway decent looking, but Bumble and POF are decent enough if you make an effort. I have a POF account that I don't really use but I get messages occassionally from women because I put an effort into my profile, and I never message anyone either.

Last few realationships I've had have been through POF, before that I met a few girlfriends through Tinder back when it was better in its early stages.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

up for anything wrote: »

Most of the men on it my age are married and make no bones about it. They're looking for 'fun'... I hate that stupid euphemism. Their wives aren't interested in sex and don't talk to them anymore or else they're second or third hand and look it. I'm not bloody surprised. I don't want to talk to them never mind have sex with them either and I don't want to bear the brunt of their baggage.

Then there are the charmers who want to know would we be available a couple of afternoons a week when they in town on business. They have burner phones and condoms and want a relationship with us... just so long as their wives don't find out. At a guess, I would say that 85% of the guys who message me are 'happily married' and not wanting to rock the economic boat and the others have steamer trunks of chipped shoulders and a few are single but it's obvious why. Eleven years of POF and I've taken the chance of meeting two guys and both were not what it said on the tin. If you lose the rag with something I've said after only ten or so messages, I don't want to run the risk of meeting you in real life no matter how any times you apologise.

As for the photos men put up!!! When you're in your 50s and 60s, lying down on a bed taking a photo from above is not a great look as the auld jowls settle round your bare shoulders(shudder for the bare chest profile pic) and we just have a sixth sense about what the hand not holding your phone is doing. Get the toilet out of the background of the photo... throw a towel over it or anything at all... just don't have it on view or the grouting that's seen better days.

Profile pics of chaps standing displaying their dowries don't impress us either - 6 year old car, semi-d and either a boat or a bike in the drive. Also, it might be an idea to wash your comb-over too before taking a profile pic or putting on clothes that might just about pass muster in public. Clean clothes that fit would be good. Why on earth would you think that anyone would want to be seen in public with you looking like that!

It's also pretty obvious when you've put on a suit to impress and don't wear one every day. And nothing worse than a chap with a series of action photos. It makes me feel tired. All that cycling, hiking, cold water swimming - makes me feel shattered and slightly under pressure.

Also don't put up photos that have been ripped in two to eliminate your ex or photos that show you with your mother, ex or daughters. It doesn't make you seem like a nice guy who gets on well with women. It just makes you creepy.

Don't immediately call your ex a bitch. After a couple of messages when things don't seem to be going your way, resist the temptation to call us fat slag cnuts who you weren't interested in anyway.


All in all, it's not you, it's us. We have standards. :D:D

You’ll never find a husband with that attitude.

punisher5112

Only way is really good chat up lines such as you know what would look good on you my shirt in the morning....
Do you cum here often
Call NASA a star has fallen from the sky and do on....
The scarier the better

Day Lewin

up for anything wrote: »

Most of the men on it my age are married and make no bones about it. They're looking for 'fun'... I hate that stupid euphemism. Their wives aren't interested in sex and don't talk to them anymore or else they're second or third hand and look it. I'm not bloody surprised. I don't want to talk to them never mind have sex with them either and I don't want to bear the brunt of their baggage.

Then there are the charmers who want to know would we be available a couple of afternoons a week when they in town on business. They have burner phones and condoms and want a relationship with us... just so long as their wives don't find out. At a guess, I would say that 85% of the guys who message me are 'happily married' and not wanting to rock the economic boat and the others have steamer trunks of chipped shoulders and a few are single but it's obvious why. Eleven years of POF and I've taken the chance of meeting two guys and both were not what it said on the tin. If you lose the rag with something I've said after only ten or so messages, I don't want to run the risk of meeting you in real life no matter how any times you apologise.

As for the photos men put up!!! When you're in your 50s and 60s, lying down on a bed taking a photo from above is not a great look as the auld jowls settle round your bare shoulders(shudder for the bare chest profile pic) and we just have a sixth sense about what the hand not holding your phone is doing. Get the toilet out of the background of the photo... throw a towel over it or anything at all... just don't have it on view or the grouting that's seen better days.

Profile pics of chaps standing displaying their dowries don't impress us either - 6 year old car, semi-d and either a boat or a bike in the drive. Also, it might be an idea to wash your comb-over too before taking a profile pic or putting on clothes that might just about pass muster in public. Clean clothes that fit would be good. Why on earth would you think that anyone would want to be seen in public with you looking like that!

It's also pretty obvious when you've put on a suit to impress and don't wear one every day. And nothing worse than a chap with a series of action photos. It makes me feel tired. All that cycling, hiking, cold water swimming - makes me feel shattered and slightly under pressure.

Also don't put up photos that have been ripped in two to eliminate your ex or photos that show you with your mother, ex or daughters. It doesn't make you seem like a nice guy who gets on well with women. It just makes you creepy.

Don't immediately call your ex a bitch. After a couple of messages when things don't seem to be going your way, resist the temptation to call us fat slag cnuts who you weren't interested in anyway.


All in all, it's not you, it's us. We have standards. :D:D

No offense, but this reads to me like, in summary

"No ordinary man, however hard he tries, can possibly reach my standard of perfection."

Hamachi

punisher5112 wrote: »

Only way is really good chat up lines such as you know what would look good on you my shirt in the morning....
Do you cum here often
Call NASA a star has fallen from the sky and do on....
The scarier the better

There will only be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus.

BorneTobyWilde

POf waste of time. Plus it's only a matter of time before you're deleted , they refresh male accounts on going, you'll be blocked and banned from site within 3 months.
Of course they claim they don't do that, but google it.

Yu'd have more luck on boards, Or twitter, or youtube. Or if you want to pay for a dating site then Seeking Arrangement will always get you dates with gorgeous women, take some stunning lady for a week in Paris, yea you'll be paying, but many on there are open to relationships. You'll see that in the profiles, focus on those women.

grassylawn

Maybe sounding like a raving looney is off-putting.

c.p.w.g.w

I met my wife on POF

BorneTobyWilde

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

I met my wife on POF

She's still on there

Rodney Bathgate

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

I met my wife on POF

That must have been embarrassing, both of you were looking to cheat? Or do you have an open marriage?

Gympodie

Gympodie wrote: »

Hi

I am curious to know what peoples experiences are with this dating site. I have been on this site for a week now and while it seems to be active with users, they don't seem to want to talk - at least from my experiences. I am always respectful, polite and friendly but to no avail. Is this the norm for most men? I have uploaded several decent photos (in a suit) and wrote a more than sufficient introduction of myself - but to no avail. They just don't seem to want to talk.

Is this par of the course? Or is it just me?

It's a numbers game. I just say "hi, how are things?" and about 1/10 respond.

I wouldn't bother making a big effort for that first post.

punisher5112

Hamachi wrote: »

There will only be seven planets left after I destroy Uranus.

Oh that's a new one, I'll add that to my list....

That could never fail

punisher5112

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

I met my wife on POF

Quite the catch, love what she done with the hair

up for anything

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

You’ll never find a husband with that attitude.

I was nabbed by one of those in the days before online dating. Spent years trying to offload him on some other poor woman but he wasn't good with technology so could never manage either the burner phone or the dating profiles I set up for him.

Day Lewin wrote: »

No offense, but this reads to me like, in summary

"No ordinary man, however hard he tries, can possibly reach my standard of perfection."

No offence taken. I have no standard of perfection though like you seem to think, unless perfection has dropped to average. I was looking for a nice genuine chap who wasn't hiding a wife/girlfriend/partner, who washes regularly, doesn't look like an unmade bed, could talk about something other than his ex, treated people he came into contact with politeness and respect, and didn't drop the hand without checking whether it would be welcome on the first date. Or like a friend of mine experienced, the chap who took out his dick in the car the first time she met him expecting a blow job before they'd even gotten to the river cafe where they were going to have a coffee.

After 11 years on POF I've dropped my standards considerably but there is a bar that I'm not going to limbo beneath. If you consider that seeking perfection maybe I am and don't realise it.

barbara anne

punisher5112 wrote: »

Local watering hole!!!

Get a lovely puppy, grows up get rid and get another, the women can't resist a puppy.....

I CAN. I'm bombarded by twenty something year old pups.

I admit. I hold my hands up. I told a white lie. Said I was forty eight. I'm slightly older. I thought maybe I'm going to get mid fifty to sixty year olds and yes some of them aswell but these twenty something hobbits can't get enough of me. They love older women. I have to keep turning them down. Only makes them worse.

barbara anne

punisher5112 wrote: »

Local watering hole!!!

Get a lovely puppy, grows up get rid and get another, the women can't resist a puppy.....

I CAN. I'm bombarded by twenty something year old pups.

I admit. I hold my hands up. I told a white lie. Said I was forty eight. I'm slightly older. I thought maybe I'm going to get mid fifty to sixty year olds and yes some of them aswell but these twenty something hobbits can't get enough of me. They love older women. I have to keep turning them down. Only makes them worse.

Church on Tuesday

POF? a total waste of time. Basically unless you are based in a city you will have slim pickings; the numbers will simply not be in your favor. That goes for nearly all dating apps TBH.

It's all a total nonsense in any event. Speaking as a man, half the women on dating sites don't actually want to date and appear to be on these sites to pass the time and half the men on them don't have a clue what they are doing and what they are doing most the time comes off as creepy, the numbers who are genuine(both genders) basically get lost in the noise. And it's a lot of noise.

The process is breathtakingly artificial and superficial. Yes, we are attracted to looks first off but there is a lot more to it than that and that then generates this weird utterly unattainable high standard from and for both genders and then this tedious messaging back and forth if you do match and not get ghosted... I ask for a date after about 20 mins tops of texting and if they are not up for that I delete and move on. If there's enough interest there will be a date. I'm not chatting to you just to help pass lockdown for you or a dull Sat night, go out and get a hobby. We're adults here, not kids.

I've personally never been on date from dating sites off and on 4 years now and most probably never will. I much prefer the normal way of actually interacting with someone I fancy and then taking cues from body language, chemistry, actual verbal nuance etc. and then get dates in real life.

It's all a cod. If you met your wife/husband on tinder/POF ten years ago great, fair play, but for most? waste of time.

B.A._Baracus

The men to women ratio is insane on dating sites and apps. I'd go as far to say there is 30 men to every woman or something like that. Probably more!

Then you have to weigh in that some people just like to window shop, get an ego boost, serial daters and more. Less chance furthermore.

Thelonious Monk

I tried pof a few years ago, pretty much no one responds to messages. On bumble/tinder I couldn't keep up with messages at times, I don't know what it is about pof that you don't get responses.

Church on Tuesday

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

POF? a total waste of time. Basically unless you are based in a city you will have slim pickings; the numbers will simply not be in your favor. That goes for all dating apps TBH.

It's all a total nonsense in any event. Speaking as a man, half the women on dating sites don't actually want to date and appear to be on these sites to pass the time and half the men on them don't have a clue what they are doing and what they are doing most the time comes off as creepy, the numbers who are genuine(both genders) basically get lost in the noise. And it's a lot of noise.

The process is breathtakingly artificial and superficial. Yes, we are attracted to looks first off but there is a lot more to it then that and that then generates this weird utterly unattainable high standard from and for both genders and then this tedious messaging back and forth if you do match and not get ghosted... I ask for a date after about 20 mins tops of texting and if they are not up for that I delete and move on. If there's enough interest there will be a date. I'm not chatting to you just to help pass lockdown for you or a dull Sat night, go out and get a hobby. We're adults here, not kids.

I've personally never been on date from dating sites off and on 4 years now and most probably never will. I much prefer the normal way of actually interacting with someone I fancy and then taking cues from body language, chemistry, actual verbal nuance etc. and then get dates in real life.

It's all a cod. If you met your wife/husband on tinder/POF ten years ago great, fair play, but for most? waste of time.

I got laid plenty of times from online dating!

B.A._Baracus

Aphosis wrote: »

At the time of writing I have 845 matches on Tinder. All of these are women I consider attractive and many are in their early 20s I.e. peak beauty.

My secret? I am a white man swiping in the Philippines.

So there you have it boyos, to make online dating work, just be yourself and move 10,000km away.

'ah you rich white man. You look like the Sean Connery'

Church on Tuesday

Deleted User wrote: »

I got laid plenty of times from online dating!

Where are you based?

Again, if you're based in a city you have many more options.

Church on Tuesday

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Where are you based?

Again, if you're based in a city you have many more options.

Dublin.

Ultrflat

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

If you're a girl - you get inundated with messages from pervy men just looking for sex, most of which you ignore.

If you're a (nice) guy - you get ignored because the women miss your message because it's under the pile of mails from pervy men just looking for sex.

"Active with users" is a misnomer - most of the profiles are fake bots designed to make it look like that way. Or pervy men just looking for sex.

There easily figured out bye looking at the

plugs sockets.