Is boss unreasonable?

indie warrior

I work in an office we are a small team. I am over 10 years working here and would be classed as senior member of staff. Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

Last week I had an incident whereby I got a call at 3pm 're a family emergency. Boss wasn't there but I rang a colleague WFH to cover something I was doing and told another colleague who was there, another senior member that I had to dash due to emergency
Two hours later while I was following ambulance to hospital boss rang, I said I couldn't speak as was in car and chasing ambulance, I was probably a bit short I was frantic at time

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

JustAThought

Sympathies - it sounds highly stressful.
Hope things are better for the person in the ambulance now.

I sympathise but you already knew they were difficult and micromanagers.

Why didn’t you ring them - you rang two others?

My guess it was because you feared they would tell you not to go and you already knew you were
going... better to ask forgiveness than permission kind of thing.


Maybe the boss felt messed with that you told two presumably less senior staff and s/he hd to find out from someone else- which they clearly did.

You’ve been nicely told now in a friendly and convivial way - so leave it at that and don’t make things worse.

Question remains - you told 20% of the rest of the team - why didn’t you tell your boss?

He probably feels the same way but thinks its been closed and dealt with now - I’d leave it there.

Markus Antonius

indie warrior wrote: »

I work in an office we are a small team. I am over 10 years working here and would be classed as senior member of staff. Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

Last week I had an incident whereby I got a call at 3pm 're a family emergency. Boss wasn't there but I rang a colleague WFH to cover something I was doing and told another colleague who was there, another senior member that I had to dash due to emergency
Two hours later while I was following ambulance to hospital boss rang, I said I couldn't speak as was in car and chasing ambulance, I was probably a bit short I was frantic at time

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

That comment of coming in on Thursday would have been a deal breaker for me. He set a bar at that moment and now knows how far he can push.

And boy is he pushing it.

Jaysci20

He sounds like a horrible boss - the recent comment with his petty gripe about who you phoned and the previous comment at your father's wake. Despicable. I wouldn't tolerate that. I'd let him know in no uncertain terms what I thought of him and his poor attitude, and I'd also be planning my exit in the background by looking at what else is available out there.

beauf

indie warrior wrote: »

...Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, ...

There's your answer right there.

But you should know this already.

Quantum Erasure

He asked you if it ever happens again, give him a call... So, what's the issue?

Rodin

indie warrior wrote: »

I work in an office we are a small team. I am over 10 years working here and would be classed as senior member of staff. Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

Last week I had an incident whereby I got a call at 3pm 're a family emergency. Boss wasn't there but I rang a colleague WFH to cover something I was doing and told another colleague who was there, another senior member that I had to dash due to emergency
Two hours later while I was following ambulance to hospital boss rang, I said I couldn't speak as was in car and chasing ambulance, I was probably a bit short I was frantic at time

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

Boss sounds like a xxxx.
I'd quit.

Larbre34

You're not overreacting, he is being unreasonable, its insulting after long years of good service.

Also, he owns the place. What do you envisage, an apology from him? Do you intend to pursue his unreasonableness with him and to what end?

As with all these situations, the question becomes, are you on balance happy continuing to work there? Can you get another, better job with your extensive experience and would it be an improvement on where you are now?

This will never be a relationship of equals.

jimmycrackcorm

indie warrior wrote:

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

What is your problem?
All your boss said is that if you have to dash off suddenly, that you should have rang him to let you know?

You sound like you have a chip on your shoulder, when this is standard practice in all jobs to let your manager know that you have to leave work suddenly.

I don't even understand what your gripe is except you seem to have a grudge about the time you had a bereavement what had that to do with the simple normal thing to do that if you need to leave your work, that you should inform your manager.

Why did you not call him, when you took time to tell your work colleagues...?

JustAThought

Larbre34 wrote: »

You're not overreacting, he is being unreasonable, its insulting after long years of good service.

Also, he owns the place. What do you envisage, an apology from him? Do you intend to pursue his unreasonableness with him and to what end?

As with all these situations, the question becomes, are you on balance happy continuing to work there? Can you get another, better job with your extensive experience and would it be an improvement on where you are now?

This will never be a relationship of equals.

No - nor is it. The OP is a employee albeit a long standing one of the business owner - he is not a co- director nor a part owner partner nor does he own a share of the company. The owner takes all the financial risks and pays him a salary regardless of how the companies finances are.

Sense of self entitlement in this comment is shocking really.

OP was asked to let the owner know next time he takes off - and didn’t take him to task over being stressed and brisk with him on the phone nor refusing to take the time to explain - despite the OP ringing two other junior colleagues and discussing it at length with them: whom the boss had to hear about his absence second from - and came away no better off having rung the OP directly.

Seems the owner dealt with it sensitively and compassionately yet gave a firm directive - next time - call me. No problem there. OP is an employee and despite his long years there needs to see this - he reports upwards, not across.

He will have the same reporting structure - or worse - no matter where he works unless he wants to underwrite all the costs and risks of
opening his own business and paying a staff. And he will not get paid if he does not work - unlike I guess that day when he probably still was paid in full despite his emergency?

beauf

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

....
Why did you not call him, when you took time to tell your work colleagues...?

Because they were there and available and the boss wasn't.

So often micro managers can't delegate. So they paralyse their team as a result. A boss should not need to micro manage some one of this seniority and experience.

kippy

Everyone will have a different take on this.
Weigh up your own take.
The pros and cons, make a decision, adjust your expectations/behaviour/seek an exit or simply carry on as is and forget about it.

Augme

This is what happens when you work for a controlling micro-manager.

JustAThought

beauf wrote: »

Because they were there and available and the boss wasn't.

They wern’t - he hd to
ring them. Thats the point. So why didn’t
he also/just ring his boss. He’d already made 2 calls.

beauf

JustAThought wrote: »

They wern’t - he hd to
ring them. Thats the point. So why didn’t
he also/just ring his boss. He’d already made 2 calls.

WFH home is the same as being there.

But I can see the road you're going down.

con___manx1

Your boss hasn't got an ounce of empathy. Can't stand people like that.
Call your boss for a meeting and let him know that you think he is an insensitive prick. Maybe not in those exact words. Also tell him your family comes first before any job. Ask him what he would do if it was one of his family members? Remind him you have missed very little time in ten years and you really don't appreciate his bull**** to add to a stressful situation
He is only your boss. Not some sort of god. He can't fire you for that. I'm sure he won't want to pay you ten years redundancy either.
He could actually have more respect for you. Sounds like a ruthless person out for himself dickhead to me

Mrs OBumble

con___manx1 wrote: »

Your boss hasn't got an ounce of empathy. Can't stand people like that.
... Sounds like a ruthless person out for himself dickhead to me

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected.

As regards the earlier issue about being asked to call in on Thursday after a Monday funeral: three days bereavement leave is pretty standard in companies that offer it. If you need more, then calling in with a sick-cert three days later would be the expected.

Sure the boss could have worded it nicer - but he's a businessman, not a social worker. His first and most important job is to make sure the company can continue to pay your salary.

Strumms

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected.

As regards the earlier issue about being asked to call in o

Sure the boss could have worded it nicer - but he's a businessman, not a social worker. His first and most important job is to make sure the company can continue to pay your salary.

He could have worded it nicer ? What he actually should have done was word it professionally... a businessman ? If he’s a manager his prime responsibility to his staff is as a leader... good leaders lead by showing good example and respect he didn’t and failed the leadership test...flunked it...

He wouldn’t want their customers spoken to like that, therefore he needs to watch his mouth as regards how he speaks to staff... it’s careless, unprofessional, unpleasant and not in the character of quality leadership... must do better.

beauf

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected....

In an emergency that's not unexpected. Especially when it's flawed procedure.

But equally if you work for somebody or someplace that requires strict adherence to rules you can hardly be surprised when they pull you up over it.

the_syco

indie warrior wrote: »

Boss is company owner, manager and very much micro manager, they are quite difficult to work for.

indie warrior wrote: »

I am really pissed off, I've rarely missed a day off in over 10 years except when my dad died and the funeral was on the Monday and boss said to me at my dads wake sure you might come in on Thursday and see how you are !!

You'll get this with small firms. The boss will only see his business suffer if you're not grinding away, but if tables were turned he'd question your empathy if you said likewise.

indie warrior wrote: »

Roll on Monday and boss was all nice asking how things were and then gets to end of conversation and says that I should have rang them and in future if I have to dash off suddenly i need to notify them directly!

IMO, from what you've said, he'd probably have asked you to stay a little bit longer. Did you do wrong? Yes. But would the outcome have been any different? I doubt it.

Look for another job, but don't burn your bridges. Get a reference from a fellow colleague, and not your boss.

con___manx1

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

The OP knew the company procedure, but chose not to follow it. The boss having a word is not unexpected.

As regards the earlier issue about being asked to call in on Thursday after a Monday funeral: three days bereavement leave is pretty standard in companies that offer it. If you need more, then calling in with a sick-cert three days later would be the expected.

Sure the boss could have worded it nicer - but he's a businessman, not a social worker. His first and most important job is to make sure the company can continue to pay your salary.

If everyone carried on like his boss the world would just be a wnderfull place.
After 10 years of service the op should be shown more respect than that.
At the end of the day the boss set up the company to line his own pockets.
I'm sure he doest really give a fiddlers about his employees if he talks to them like that.
If he said to me I'd expect to see you in on the Thursday after my dad died I'd of takin a month off just to piss him off the insensitive prick.

JustAThought

con___manx1 wrote: »

If everyone carried on like his boss the world would just be a wnderfull place.
After 10 years of service the op should be shown more respect than that.
At the end of the day the boss set up the company to line his own pockets.
I'm sure he doest really give a fiddlers about his employees if he talks to them like that.
If he said to me I'd expect to see you in on the Thursday after my dad died I'd of takin a month off just to piss him off the insensitive prick.

you’d be turfed out and on the dole long before that.

OP was in the wrong. The boss behaved well and managed the situation well. OP would do well to leave it alone and follow the instructions should it happen again. He knows its a family business and the owner likes to micromanage his affairs - no change in that status for this recent event either.

Boss is not being unreasonable - employee OP is.

road_high

Those small family run businesses are always a fcukin nightmare. They look for the past drop of blood, like to manage and “observe” everything via other family members.
Wouldn’t work in one for double my salary (not that that would happen, they’re always ****e payers as well). See they’re your manager as well as “the boss” and staff are viewed as an expense to be not trusted and get the maximum from

JustAThought

road_high wrote: »

Those small family run businesses are always a fcukin nightmare. They look for the past drop of blood, like to manage and “observe” everything via other family members.
Wouldn’t work in one for double my salary (not that that would happen, they’re always ****e payers as well). See they’re your manager as well as “the boss” and staff are viewed as an expense to be not trusted and get the maximum from

same as multinationals do.

road_high

JustAThought wrote: »

same as multinationals do.

Not in my experience and have worked in a few. Things are a lot more equalitarian as at the end of the day my line manager is just an employee too

beauf

Happens in small family run businesses more often. But it happens in multinationals also. Just down the personality of the person.

JustAThought

road_high wrote: »

Not in my experience and have worked in a few. Things are a lot more equalitarian as at the end of the day my line manager is just an employee too

Maybe - but s/he still will most likely look after their own back first and cover themselves for their boss if anything went wrong with how you behaved - and if the * hit the fan they would elect to get rid of you as soon as they wanted or needed to.

con___manx1

JustAThought wrote: »

you’d be turfed out and on the dole long before that.

OP was in the wrong. The boss behaved well and managed the situation well. OP would do well to leave it alone and follow the instructions should it happen again. He knows its a family business and the owner likes to micromanage his affairs - no change in that status for this recent event either.

Boss is not being unreasonable - employee OP is.

If I was there 10 years like the op I wouldn't be sacked.
I'm guessing you think it's OK what the boss said to the op after his father died?

A good boss leads by showing good example and respect he didn’t and failed the leadership test..
Do you think his boss would like the op to disrespect his customers like that?
I'm sure the op wasn't in their right mind that day worrying about their family member. His boss should understand this or maybe he just doesn't give a ****.
Face facts his boss is a tosser.

beauf

JustAThought wrote: »

...
Boss is not being unreasonable - employee OP is.

Its classic micro-management. Not trusting a senior person with 10 yrs experience and service to make decisions or delegate. Especially in the context.

dogbert27

beauf wrote: »

Its classic micro-management. Not trusting a senior person with 10 yrs experience and service to make decisions or delegate. Especially in the context.

It might not be the case that the boss didn't trust the OP to make decisions or delegate but that he didn't trust the two employees who are more junior to the OP to do the work correctly and would have liked the opportunity to "micro-manage" those two employees.

The OP hasn't said what his job description is either so it could be the case that in a time of emergency he may not have been making the best decisions in his delegating for the tasks needed.

Dav010

I think all employees should be allowed to leave whenever they want, for whatever reason they want, tell whomever they want, as long as it isn’t the person they are supposed to. Problem solved.