Is boss unreasonable?

Dav010

KeepItLight wrote: »

If he felt the need to even bring it up, then yes I do. I also think you would too, given your quote I was responding too, and the fact that you think her telling her colleagues but not telling her boss is even an issue, given the fact she was on her way out to follow the ambulance of her dying father.

If I was her manager, I wouldn't even dream of reminding her that she didn't follow protocol, given the context of the traumatic experience in question. In fact, I'd think it a pretty weird and inappropriate thing to do.

I edited my post while you were posting, sorry.

If you are claiming she didn’t have time to follow policy, or it should be the last thing on her mind, the fact that she did have time to tell others kinda negates that.

I don’t associate a “nice” conversation with getting “angsty”, do you?

r93kaey5p2izun

I think it's beyond weird that people think the important thing is whether the employee had time to follow procedure, rather than whether it's reasonable to expect someone shocked by a family emergency to have the wherewithal to follow procedure. Personally, I think expecting everyone to properly follow procedure when faced with a traumatic situation is unreasonable and lacking humanity.

Dav010

Jaxton Squeaking Gym wrote: »

I think it's beyond weird that people think the important thing is whether the employee had time to follow procedure, rather than whether it's reasonable to expect someone shocked by a family emergency to have the wherewithal to follow procedure. Personally, I think expecting everyone to properly follow procedure when faced with a traumatic situation is unreasonable and lacking humanity.

If you are saying the situation was too traumatic for her to think, or have time to contact her boss, surely the fact that she had time to contact others is the very crux of the issue.

Personally I think it is stupid that people have a problem with either the policy, or the discrete, nice way the boss approached it.

KeepItLight

Dav010 wrote: »

I edited my post while you were posting, sorry.

If you are claiming she didn’t have time to follow policy, or it should be the last thing on her mind, the fact that she did have time to tell others kinda negates that.

I don’t associate a “nice” conversation with getting “angsty”, do you?

Yeah, they were in the building and presumably the room she was in, while manager was not. Or maybe if they were all working remotely they would be the ones who would take over the tasks the OP was working on. Or perhaps the OP is closer to her coworkers, and she felt she needed to tell someone quickly before bolting, so her natural instinct was to tell them. But to be frank, who gives a sh1t? Given the context it should have been the last think on anyone's mind. If the manager truly had an issue with this, then that screams insecurity to me.

I think you're missing my point and getting stuck on the semantics. My point was and still is - I wouldn't dream of reminding my employee (gently or not) of proper leaving the office etiquette, if the reason she left the office was due to an emergency or traumatic event. Nor would I be worried that if I didn't bring up the proper leaving procedure - others would stat abusing it for trivial reasons.

If you don't get this, then I'm afraid I can't put it simpler terms than that for you.

r93kaey5p2izun

Dav010 wrote: »

If you are saying the situation was too traumatic for her to think, or have time to contact her boss, surely the fact that she had time to contact others is the very crux of the issue.

Personally I think it is stupid that people have a problem with either the policy, or the discrete, nice way the boss approached it.

People in shock do not necessarily behave in a logical manner. I find it perfectly normal and reasonable that somebody would act as she did, contact someone to take over instead of manager, and let someone else know as she passed their desk. All totally understandable given the situation, even if not in line with policy.

I don't have a problem with the policy. But I think the boss was wrong to bring it up at all. He demonstrated a lack of humanity and basic understanding, no matter how nicely he did it, because it indicates he thinks everyone in shock should follow procedure - not a reasonable expectation in my book unless it's a safety critical issue for which the employee received training.

Bass Reeves

Dav010 wrote: »

If you are saying the situation was too traumatic for her to think, or have time to contact her boss, surely the fact that she had time to contact others is the very crux of the issue.

Personally I think it is stupid that people have a problem with either the policy, or the discrete, nice way the boss approached it.

You are like a dog with a bone over this. There is a limit with your time at an incident like this. You prioritize. If she rang him and said I have to go it a family emergency( and that all she legally had to do) and by the way the priority job you gave me this morning is only 50% complete its unlikely he have been happy either.

She prioritized what she had to do as any employee who was used to the run of the place would do. She did not as such contact people. She handed off a priority job to be finished to a colleague WFH and told another senior colleague she had an emergency and had to leave. She probably left that person know she had handed over the assignment to another person.

In that situation in any company that is more than sufficient. Like I said the next time If it was me I tell him I am going, and leave. And if there was priority work to complete I just leave it as is

He is being a dick and if I was working in that office I have no problem after hearing it walking into the office and telling him.

Dav010

Dav010 wrote: »

What if it isn’t an ambulance on the way to their house? Are you the manager going to decide what constitutes an “emergency”? Other staff may feel their need to leave is no less valid or important. Again, it is worth remembering the op’s boss did not say she couldn’t leave, only that he wanted her to let him know.

Seeing as it was two hours after they had left the office, that they were following the ambulance, it must have taken an awful long time to arrive at the house!

This thread is for the birds.

How dare a manager ask a staff member to contact them if they need to leave the office unexpectedly. The absolute bloody cheek of them.

Zak Flaps

You don't like your boss, and it sounds to me like you will soon hate him.
If you think you could get another job, i'd quit.
I was in a similar situation where I worked for a small company run by two brothers.
I ended up hating them so when I joined a new company, it was a relief.
Life's too short.

Dav010

Bass Reeves wrote: »

You are like a dog with a bone over this. There is a limit with your time at an incident like this. You prioritize. If she rang him and said I have to go it a family emergency( and that all she legally had to do) and by the way the priority job you gave me this morning is only 50% complete its unlikely he have been happy either.

She prioritized what she had to do as any employee who was used to the run of the place would do. She did not as such contact people. She handed off a priority job to be finished to a colleague WFH and told another senior colleague she had an emergency and had to leave. She probably left that person know she had handed over the assignment to another person.

In that situation in any company that is more than sufficient. Like I said the next time If it was me I tell him I am going, and leave. And if there was priority work to complete I just leave it as is

He is being a dick and if I was working in that office I have no problem after hearing it walking into the office and telling him.

Nah, you are getting to emotional about this, you’d be kicked to the curb for the last bit.

All that was needed was for her to say, fine, I’ll phone you next time I have to leave. Simples.

KeepItLight

KeepItLight wrote: »

If he felt the need to even bring it up, then yes I do. I also think you would too, given your quote I was responding too, and the fact that you think her telling her colleagues but not telling her boss is even an issue, given the fact she was on her way out to follow the ambulance of her dying father..

I think you have misunderstood the original post.

The OPs father did not die last week.

This incident is not related to what happened at the wake.

a_squirrelman

Many posters here thinking managers are gods of some sort. A good manager wouldn't have pulled the OP on this. It was unnecessary and his poor ego would have gotten over it.

Dav010

a_squirrelman wrote: »

Many posters here thinking managers are gods of some sort. A good manager wouldn't have pulled the OP on this. It was unnecessary and his poor ego would have gotten over it.

Many posters taking umbrage at a discrete request relating to policy. Get over it, it really isn’t that big a deal. The snowflake is strong in many.

a_squirrelman

Dav010 wrote: »

Many posters taking umbrage at a discrete request relating to policy. Get over it, it really isn’t that big a deal. The snowflake is strong in many.

I don't think anyone is being a snowflake, except maybe you and the manager. You're overly upset about "policy" in my opinion.
Many posters said they wouldn't tolerate it and would speak up. That's sticking up for yourself rather than being a snowflake.

JoChervil

I wonder, what made few of you think OP is a woman, not a man?

My first reaction was, that he was a man.

Dav010

a_squirrelman wrote: »

I don't think anyone is being a snowflake, except maybe you and the manager. You're overly upset about "policy" in my opinion.
Many posters said they wouldn't tolerate it and would speak up. That's sticking up for yourself rather than being a snowflake.

Not upset in the slightest. Just don’t understand how this is such a big issue for so many, some advising op to quit, some saying the boss is a micromanaging dickhead. Get over it, it really isn’t that big a deal.

Dav010

JoChervil wrote: »

I wonder, what made few of you think OP is a woman, not a man?

My first reaction was, that he was a man.

Bet you can’t see the irony in that post.

a_squirrelman

Dav010 wrote: »

Not upset in the slightest. Just don’t understand how this is such a big issue for so many, some advising op to quit, some saying the boss is a micromanaging dickhead. Get over it, it really isn’t that big a deal.

You're the one posting constantly. You get over it.
The two examples from the OP would make me also start looking elsewhere. Knowing your worth and not tolerating a BS manager is ok, there are better bosses out there.

Dav010

a_squirrelman wrote: »

You're the one posting constantly. You get over it.
The two examples from the OP would make me also start looking elsewhere. Knowing your worth and not tolerating a BS manager is ok, there are better bosses out there.

And perhaps better employees. 😜

a_squirrelman

Dav010 wrote: »

And perhaps better employees. 😜

I'm sure the OP is a fine employee. Good owner/managers are the exception.

Mrs OBumble

a_squirrelman wrote: »

You're the one posting constantly. You get over it.
The two examples from the OP would make me also start looking elsewhere. Knowing your worth and not tolerating a BS manager is ok, there are better bosses out there.

Only cos the rest of us have given up.

In the OP's case, the boss was being reasonable IMHO.

In the case of the woman (incorrextly called a girl by some) who ran out crying - obviously it was fine in her job. But what if she was a teacher, a doctor, an air traffic controller or some such. Many people simply cannot run away no matter what has happened - and the more critical the job, the more important it is to exactly follow the protocol that is established for these scenarios.

KeepItLight

Dav010 wrote: »

Many posters taking umbrage at a discrete request relating to policy. Get over it, it really isn’t that big a deal. The snowflake is strong in many.

Ah yeah, start calling people snowflake now for disagreeing with you. You're a waste of time, not worth arguing with

Dav010

KeepItLight wrote: »

Ah yeah, start calling people snowflake now for disagreeing with you. You're a waste of time, not worth arguing with

Not for disagreeing with me, for being so offended by what the op was asked to do. Such emotion.

a_squirrelman

Dav010 wrote: »

Not for disagreeing with me, for being so offended by what the op was asked to do. Such emotion.

Offended and emotional? I saw people make decent points on why they didn't like the boss's approach.

KeepItLight

Dav010 wrote: »

Not for disagreeing with me, for being so offended by what the op was asked to do. Such emotion.

No, you've actually won the argument there, I concede. I now can finally see that we're all just such emotional crybaby snowflakes for daring to disagree with you.

Maybe when things loosen up after lockdown I'll see you at funerals asking family members whether they got the all clear from their boss to be there.

Dav010

KeepItLight wrote: »

No, you've actually won the argument there, I concede. I now can finally see that we're all just such emotional crybaby snowflakes for daring to disagree with you.

Maybe when things loosen up after lockdown I'll see you at funerals asking family members whether they got the all clear from their boss to be there.

Steady now, it’ll pass.

KeepItLight

KeepItLight wrote: »

No, you've actually won the argument there, I concede. I now can finally see that we're all just such emotional crybaby snowflakes for daring to disagree with you.

Maybe when things loosen up after lockdown I'll see you at funerals asking family members whether they got the all clear from their boss to be there.

Now you're just being snarky.

As has been pointed out to you already, the OPs father did not die last week.

JoChervil

Dav010 wrote: »

Bet you can’t see the irony in that post.

Nope, please explain

KeepItLight

Deleted User wrote: »

Now you're just being snarky.

As has been pointed out to you already, the OPs father did not die last week.

What are you even talking about? What difference does it make - the OP's situation was a family emergency and they were chasing an ambulance.

Dav010

JoChervil wrote: »

Nope, please explain

You don’t know why people are making assumption on gender, then you make an assumption on gender.

JoChervil wrote: »

I wonder, what made few of you think OP is a woman, not a man?

My first reaction was, that he was a man.

One eyed Jack

indie warrior wrote: »

Am I over reacting or are they right to say that I was in the wrong as I didn't follow company procedure and contact them directly ?? I am really peeved off and seriously contemplating staying here. Interested to hear other people's views or if I should just put up and shut up

From the opening post it does appear that you and your boss don’t have a great relationship before any of this happened, and this latest incident is more like the straw that broke the camels back - you’re both tired of each other’s shìt. In a small company it can be a toxic and claustrophobic environment, especially when you and your boss appear to be on different pages as to what your responsibilities are towards each other and towards the business.

What’s done is done so there’s no point in suggesting what you should have done, never mind the fact that you were in the wrong and you’re now peeved over being pulled up on it, having assumed you’d earned certain privileges like a degree of trust between yourself and your boss.

Your boss had every right to be ticked off when they called and you gave them short shrift, how were they to know what you were at? They made what anyone should really consider a reasonable request if they’re going to leave in an emergency situation. It’s the first thing I do as I consider it’s just basic manners, and it’s never been an issue with anyone I’ve worked for or anyone who has worked for me or with me. I’d understand if someone wasn’t clear-headed at the time that they gave me short shrift, but if when talking to them upon their return they got all defensive as if I was in the wrong, it could cause me to think they’re not taking it seriously.

I’ve been in situations too where I’ve had my ear bent by the boss and sure, it’s not pretty, but I know I could have handled it better so I’m not one for thinking I was in still in the right when I wasn’t. It’s not even a question of flexibility, but taking responsibility for your actions is all and knowing when you’re in the wrong, take it on the chin and move on rather than storing it up and letting it fester.