Homeless After seperation

Imaginebaggins

Hi everyone , long time reader first time poster.
I am not the greatest at grammar or spelling but forgive me.
So I recently separated from my partner , and as a result I am about to face being homeless, in Laois of all places. I have a full time job and all that but until I can save for a deposit and actually find a place I am between a rock and a hard place. I'm just wondering where I am to go from here , do I call the council, is emergency accommodation a thing for single males , I would move somewhere else to find a house but my job and kids are here. I'm not looking to get hap or anything like that after I save for a deposit I will be able to afford the full rent myself , I don't have family here because I moved myself 10 years ago. I don't really know what I'm hoping for advice maybe . Thanks for reading

BorneTobyWilde

Whats wrong with your own home,you have as much right to be there as she does.

wandererz

Have you considered sharing for a while.
There are about 15 house shares in Laois from €300 and up.

the_syco

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Whats wrong with your own home,you have as much right to be there as she does.

If she owns it, the OP may be only classed as a licensee.

=-=

https://www.svp.ie/what-we-do/hostels/monastery-hostel.aspx
Would advise renting storage to keep things (especially documentation), as the hostel may not be the safest place.

ax530

Some organisation s or charities may offer deposit for you , locally there is a local one near me bit like At Vincent de Paul would help out with phone bills ect so I guess also with deposit. If you are in position to save could always donate the money back to them again. Good luck

Imaginebaggins

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Whats wrong with your own home,you have as much right to be there as she does.

It's her house , parents left it to her , and to be honest it's not good for the kids to have us at each others throats all the time , we can be civil to each other but it's not always so simple

Imaginebaggins

wandererz wrote: »

Have you considered sharing for a while.
There are about 15 house shares in Laois from €300 and up.

I have honestly emailed or text most of them , only one that has gotten back to me is one in stradally that only rents out the room for five days a week , I dont drive at the minute so I can't go much further

Imaginebaggins

ax530 wrote: »

Some organisation s or charities may offer deposit for you , locally there is a local one near me bit like At Vincent de Paul would help out with phone bills ect so I guess also with deposit. If you are in position to save could always donate the money back to them again. Good luck

I will look into this thanks

dobman88

Imaginebaggins wrote: »

I have honestly emailed or text most of them , only one that has gotten back to me is one in stradally that only rents out the room for five days a week , I dont drive at the minute so I can't go much further

Ring them. Emails and texts arent worth a shìte. Especially on a bank holiday. And I know from my own renting days, 3 landlords said I got in with a phone call even though some people had txt or emailed before me but they hadn't seen them before I rang. Make a few phone calls, best of luck to you.

BorneTobyWilde

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Whats wrong with your own home,you have as much right to be there as she does.

Why would anyone want to live with their ex?

Imaginebaggins

dobman88 wrote: »

Ring them. Emails and texts arent worth a shìte. Especially on a bank holiday. And I know from my own renting days, 3 landlords said I got in with a phone call even though some people had txt or emailed before me but they hadn't seen them before I rang. Make a few phone calls, best of luck to you.

I will try this anyway, how does a deposit Work for a house share do you know ? Same as a full house or what , sorry I've been with my partner 10 years and before that in my family home so not really sure how any of this works

Imaginebaggins

bubblypop wrote: »

Why would anyone want to live with their ex?

I do want to lol , my kids are there , it's just not feasible at the minute we can't raise kids in a house where we can barely be in the same room.

Chris_5339762

Depending on how long you have been living with her you may have a de-facto share in the house. Kids complicate matters as to whether you'd "get" anything out of it (I use that term in inverted commas deliberately, as it is a terrible thing to think of) but as of now it might give you a defense against just being booted out. Better to be there in a back room than out on the streets.

How does she feel about actually kicking you out too? How do the kids feel? Has it been that acrimonious?

dobman88

Imaginebaggins wrote: »

I will try this anyway, how does a deposit Work for a house share do you know ? Same as a full house or what , sorry I've been with my partner 10 years and before that in my family home so not really sure how any of this works

It's been a few years since my last house share but any one I was in, it was on a per room basis. So for instance if my rent per week was 100 quid for the room, my deposit would have been 200 quid or 400 quid depending on whether the landlord wanted 2 weeks or a month. And then your first week/month up front depending on whether you pay weekly or monthly.

What I'd work on is first month up front plus a months deposit and try and get that much together.

Imaginebaggins

Chris_5339762 wrote: »

Depending on how long you have been living with her you may have a de-facto share in the house. Kids complicate matters as to whether you'd "get" anything out of it (I use that term in inverted commas deliberately, as it is a terrible thing to think of) but as of now it might give you a defense against just being booted out. Better to be there in a back room than out on the streets.

How does she feel about actually kicking you out too? How do the kids feel? Has it been that acrimonious?

Well you see she isn't kicking me out , I have the option to stay and I would love to , however things are boiling over now (she was unfaithful) and I can't keep putting my kids In a situation where mammy and Daddy just can't get along , and well I can't look at her anymore

Imaginebaggins

dobman88 wrote: »

It's been a few years since my last house share but any one I was in, it was on a per room basis. So for instance if my rent per week was 100 quid for the room, my deposit would have been 200 quid or 400 quid depending on whether the landlord wanted 2 weeks or a month. And then your first week/month up front depending on whether you pay weekly or monthly.

What I'd work on is first month up front plus a months deposit and try and get that much together.

I'll make a few phone calls , I've put myself in an air BnB until Friday so I won't be sleeping in a tent or anything but I get paid monthly and I still pay for food, bills etc so my kids don't go hungry or cold so I won't be able to keep it up long term. I don't want to give the impression that I'm destitute because right now I'm not but after this week I will be out of money and options , I don't make thousands a week in my job so I need short term help to get back on my feet

Mimon

Contact your Community welfare officer and request enough for a deposit on a
house-share might be an option.


https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/supplementary_welfare_schemes/community_welfare_officers.html

wandererz

Imaginebaggins wrote: »

Well you see she isn't kicking me out , I have the option to stay and I would love to , however things are boiling over now (she was unfaithful) and I can't keep putting my kids In a situation where mammy and Daddy just can't get along , and well I can't look at her anymore

In that case, stay on.
Move into another room if you have one spare or sleep on the couch if you aren't doing so already.

In the meantime, call up any house shares you see advertised if you can afford them.
It's usually one month's deposit plus first month's rent.

And while waiting, save up for that rent and deposit.

It's always easier to get a house share or rental if you are separating and moving out of your own home rather than saying that you are living in a hostel or similar provisioned accommodation.
People are reluctant to rent to people in the latter case.

I would suggest reposting in the Separation/Divorce forum.

Many have been through what you're experiencing - you don't have to leave your home, (or your children) especially not to be homeless.

My advice would be, do not leave your current accommodation until formal arrangements have been made for the property, (if owned) access to children, and maintenance have been made.

C3PO

Could you not stay long enough to save for a deposit?
Despite the fact that you are male and it’s her house, you are not without rights.

krissovo

I have been in a similar situation and the biggest piece of advice I can give is get yourself sorted with child friendly accommodation before you leave. House shares are not the best option if you want to spend quality time with your kids. No matter what is agreed in advance with the other tenants it will never be a welcoming environment for your children. I learnt the hard way, I didnt have child friendly accommodation so the courts could not grant 50/50 living arrangements which meant a large portion of my salary was given to my ex as maintenance payments. Even if you do not want 50/50 living you still need to have a place to spend time with them.

If you can afford it at minimum get a place with a spare bedroom, spend an hour putting a financial plan together that you can take to banks or credit unions to borrow enough to get a reasonable place to live.

colm_mcm

Is there any way you can change your working hours, if there was an option to work nights it would get you out of the house in the evenings, and you’d avoid a lot of potential conflict.

Steve012

Imaginebaggins wrote: »

Well you see she isn't kicking me out , I have the option to stay and I would love to , however things are boiling over now (she was unfaithful) and I can't keep putting my kids In a situation where mammy and Daddy just can't get along , and well I can't look at her anymore

After 10 years, unfaithful? sorry to hear bro, Been there but not 10 years along.
I've nothing to offer about advice for new place, but look you will come good, you'll get a place and move on.

P.s
I would have preferred to get a good fckin kicking from 8 blokes than to find out fiancé had cheated on the grape vine within hours.
Cause there was no going back then. nothing wrong with our s.. life. Just the way of life sometimes.

You'll be good soon man.

Steve012

Mimon wrote: »

Contact your Community welfare officer and request enough for a deposit on a
house-share might be an option.


https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/supplementary_welfare_schemes/community_welfare_officers.html

Yes this. Exactly

P2C

I rented a house 12 years ago to a young single mother who had no deposit and turned up at the door after a domestic. She got a deposit from Social Services or community welfare after a couple of weeks as it would of being impossible to save for one. She’s still living in the house 12 years later with her two kids. I say if your stuck one of the charities, social services or VDP. If you don’t have a credit union account they can be very good also for small loans and are much more flexible than banks.

Imaginebaggins wrote: »

I will look into this thanks

Ray Palmer

OP Sorry for the situation you find yourself in. While your partner may have inherented the property you may still have legal rights to it. Depending on how long you lived together in the property. I think after 3 years you get half ownership. The laws are there specifically for people who break up and aren't married.

Not suggesting forcing her to sell but means you can borrow on it.

riclad

see here www.threshold.ie
https://crosscare.ie/
get advice from above resources

there maybe a problem in that you are making yourself homeless .
And you are presumably on a high income
can you not borrow from a bank, credit union to pay a deposit
https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/supplementary_welfare_schemes/rent_supplement.htmlple usually register they get rent allowance,
Rent Supplement is a means-tested payment for certain people living in private rented accommodation who cannot provide for the cost of their accommodation from their own resources.

if theres hostels in laois that are open now
they sometimes have a deal reduced price for 7 day stay
i cant imagine leaving home in a middle of a pandemic without even
having the deposit for a rental unit.

Manion

You may have some rights as a cohabiting couple regardless of who owns the property. Probably not much use to you given your current circumstances but essentially it's the family home.

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/cohabiting_couples/property_rights_and_unmarried_couples.html

https://www.lawsociety.ie/Public/Legal-guides/Family-law/Cohabiting-couples/

Imaginebaggins

Soooo , I've been away from here for a few days , thanks for all the replies, I managed to get a place for a few days and have been approved for hap, now the struggle of finding a landlord to take hap starts, I understand why they don't bother with it I would prefer not to need it but with maintenance payments , bills and such I figured out that I will need it to survive. Has anyone got any tips when looking and talking to landlords.

RStoneX

Imaginebaggins wrote: »

I'm not looking to get hap or anything like that after I save for a deposit I will be able to afford the full rent myself

Let's hope you keep your word. AMEM!

I very much doubt... Once you see how easy its is to let the mid to high income folks pay for your offspring. You will stay on hap until you have enough saved for a house deposit then *maybe* you will get out but probably by then the council will have offered you permanent accommodation even though you are not the primary carer and only have the children a couple hours a week.

Imaginebaggins

RStoneX wrote: »

Let's hope you keep your word. AMEM!

I very much doubt... Once you see how easy its is to let the mid to high income folks pay for your off spring. You will stay on hap until you have enough saved for a house deposit then you maybe you will get out but probably by then the council will have offered you permanent accommodation even though you are not the primary carer and only have the children a couple hours a week.

Well I pay for my own kids, I have since the day they where born and that's not going to change , I also pay tax and have since I was 16 , I don't want to be in this position and I would prefer to be with my children every day but I can't be, I will not have my kids a few hours a week as I will have them 50 percent of the time , Just because you've had bad experiences with people don't tar me with the same brush , if you want to be An asshole you can be an asshole somewhere else