Back to 'normal': Have you changed?

Antares35

Pussyhands wrote: »

There's winners and losers.

The winners are the ones with mortgages and kids.

The losers are everyone else. Low income people lost their job and have no hope. Others kept their job and earned well but have nowhere to spend it and house prices rocket and rocket giving no hope.

We don't have a mortgage yet, but we still consider the gains we've made. We will be moving before the end of the year, and prices have not rocketed where we are looking.

Shanotheslayer

I've definitely become more introverted but I probably always was mostly. I do enjoy the pints and the craic though so I'm missing that a lot. But WFH has been a game changer for me. Never could I go back to full time in an office. The amount of time saved is incredible.

I'm luckily enough that both my girlfriend and I have solid jobs that will never disappear. Mine possible could but extremely unlikely, she's medical industry so nope. Saved a lot of cash to get a house but in the same boat as others trying to find somewhere etc.

Some people have had absolutely stinking year and I would count myself definitely one of the lucky ones. I've no time for people moaning about covid for the sake of moaning. Get over it or do something about it.

KungPao

Coped well enough up til about New Year's Day. Been in a funk ever since. I like Christmas so looking forward to it helped, but when the party ended, it was a bummer. Hoped for a nice warm spring to cheer me up, but looks like that has gone for a burton, -4 forecast for tomorrow night ffs.

I'd happily drink a 6 pack every night to distract myself, but the wife would probably tell me to pack my bags!

Feel very lucky we both have secure jobs though, and a house. It must be terrible for some.

So to answer the question, it has made me fed up.

Montage of Feck

Time dilation is real!!!!

sporina

I don't think that people on here who are encouraging being positive are being ignorant, unsympathetic or flippant etc.. they are just trying to help perhaps..

I have so much sympathy for anyone who has been adversely affected by covid, whether it be financially, economically, socially, medically etc..

But dwelling on the -ve's will not make things any better.. it will only make the suffering worse..

Sure - vent - get it off your chest... but then move away from it and try and see what you can do to help yourself, try to find joy in other ways..

I have lots of personal challenges in my life like a lot of people.. but years ago I learnt how to think in a slightly different way.. kinda glass half full or empty kind of scenario.. it seems that suffering is part of life.. there are things we can't control.. I learnt how to roll with the punches and look for the +ve's.. there are always some.. it also helped to identify what was not serving me well in life.. eg: listening too the news too often.. instead I listen to interesting podcasts when walking.. on topics I am interested in... positive things.. same with books etc.. I try to be grateful for what I do have as oppose to what I don't.. that really helps me.. took me a while to get my head to where it is now though.. but so glad things clicked.

SnuggyBear

Tell the dog to chin up

Tchaikovsky

Don't tell me there's been a split between the positive thinkers and everyone else now?

Antares35

SnuggyBear wrote: »

Ye like I said all a facade

Not for all of us, no. While I don't agree with laughing at others who have had bad experiences throughout lockdown, there are some people who have had it better through various different circumstances etc. and for us, positivity isn't a facade but simply a recognition of where we've been lucky, if that's allowed on a thread like this.

My dog has never been happier, she has company all day now whereas before it was always a struggle to cover off her needs with pet sitters, shared custody with the ex, taking her to the office the odd day etc. Her life is much more stable now. And having to take her out several times a day even when I'm sometimes feeling pretty depleted myself, has helped my own mental health greatly. It's rare that I come back from a walk in a worse mood than I went out

YellowLead

I’m very positive about the future and can’t wait for this to end - so at least I have my hope. I feel genuinely sorry for anybody who has lost that sense of hope for the future, things to look forward to because without it I’d be lost.

I hate these times and people saying oh just go for a walk as if that magically fixes everything do annoy me a little as they can’t understand just because things are great for them that they’re not for everyone. It’s usually married people with families who get to spend more time together that try and insist we should all be happy, or people who are solitary and love not having to meet people in the office or people who lives in beautiful locations and get to enjoy nature. I’m delighted some people are enjoying this lockdown and are not suffering - but it doesn’t mean I can’t admit to hating every second of it

MrStuffins

Antares35 wrote: »

My dog has never been happier.........

If anything, dogs are the big winners here. They have company all day, it's great for them!

It'll be tough for them when everyone goes back to the office but I think WFH will be a much bigger thing for those who can do it from now on so dogs will have loads more time to enjoy some company!

YellowLead

YellowLead wrote: »

I’m very positive about the future and can’t wait for this to end - so at least I have my hope. I feel genuinely sorry for anybody who has lost that sense of hope for the future, things to look forward to because without it I’d be lost.

I hate these times and people saying oh just go for a walk as if that magically fixes everything do annoy me a little as they can’t understand just because things are great for them that they’re not for everyone. It’s usually married people with families who get to spend more time together that try and insist we should all be happy, or people who are solitary and love not having to meet people in the office or people who lives in beautiful locations and get to enjoy nature. I’m delighted some people are enjoying this lockdown and are not suffering - but it doesn’t mean I can’t admit to hating every second of it

I live alone and I'm single. Walking/running makes a massive difference to my mental health.

Don't dismiss it so casually.

YellowLead

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I live alone and I'm single. Walking/running makes a massive difference to my mental health.

Don't dismiss it so casually.

I didn’t mean to dismiss it apologies - I go walking myself too and sure I’d probably to be in a worse state without it. Even if all that surrounds me is awful grey housing estates and a canal jammed full of people on bikes.

I’m just saying that it doesn’t work for everybody

MrStuffins

I'm lucky enough to live very close to a park so every day I make sure to get out for at least one hour-long walk every day.

Normally I do it for my lunch break so I have the added bonus of taking a break from work. I find walking is really really good for my mental health.

Pre-covid I was training martial arts 4-5 times a week. To have that taken away was a massive blow. It was essentially my main outlet for everything.

But hey, later this year i'll be back in the gym which is a great thing to look forward to!

Sanjuro

If and when we go back to "normal," I think the main thing I'll have is a much bigger appreciation for some things I took for granted before. For example, we used to take the kids swimming every Saturday afternoon. It was annoying, messy, wrangling a 5 and 3 year old and trying to make sure they didn't drown. You'd end up going home damp, stressed and in the winter, cold. I would give my left arm for a bit of that normality again. Being able to go 40km from my house and be in Glendalough, one of my favourite places. Being able to go down to the shop to pick up something other than groceries without a second thought. Losing the constant low level anxiety and stress of every day existence.

sporina

SnuggyBear wrote: »

Ye like I said all a facade

can only speak for myself.. thats not the case for me.. I know all too well how life can be a bitch... but have accepted that crap happens in life - and sometimes beyond our control.. being angry, arguing and blaming feeds the bad feelings which can lead to depression/anxiety, bad habits etc thus compounding the -ve feelings and so you end up in a vicious cycle..

the only control we have is how we react and what we do as a result.. its been much more constructive for me to acquire a +ve attitude.. do what i can to improve my situation.. looking after myself... engage in activities etc that are good for me..

Antares35

YellowLead wrote: »

I’m very positive about the future and can’t wait for this to end - so at least I have my hope. I feel genuinely sorry for anybody who has lost that sense of hope for the future, things to look forward to because without it I’d be lost.

I hate these times and people saying oh just go for a walk as if that magically fixes everything do annoy me a little as they can’t understand just because things are great for them that they’re not for everyone. It’s usually married people with families who get to spend more time together that try and insist we should all be happy, or people who are solitary and love not having to meet people in the office or people who lives in beautiful locations and get to enjoy nature. I’m delighted some people are enjoying this lockdown and are not suffering - but it doesn’t mean I can’t admit to hating every second of it

This is a very good point. We live rural and by we I mean my fiancé, baby and I so yes we are lucky we have our own little family unit here and we can enjoy nice walks, or even just sitting in the garden with the buggy if the weather allows it. While I do get on with my co-workers, there was one who was an absolute thorn in my side just spending her days gossiping and yammering on, to the point that it affected my work. So, I kind of tick all the boxes you mentioned! But, I recognise that I'm lucky and I don't expect others to be jumping up and down if they have it worse. If the pandemic had struck two years ago, I'd be in a much worse position now and would find it difficult to cope.

I've a friend who had a breakup just before lockdown and she's panicking now because (in her words) she thinks her life is going over her and she's missing the boat to get out and meet someone, settle down and have kids etc. I can completely understand her concern, because if it was me I'd be the same

DessieJames

The only way ive changed is i have even more hated for the shambolic government and NPHET, they have made an absolute mess of the whole thing, none of these parasites suffered during lockdown with big salarys and houses,while a large porion of people have suffered untold misery.

But in general i cant wait to go back to packed pubs and clubs and gigs.

HildaOgdenx

MrStuffins wrote: »

I'm lucky enough to live very close to a park so every day I make sure to get out for at least one hour-long walk every day.

Normally I do it for my lunch break so I have the added bonus of taking a break from work. I find walking is really really good for my mental health.

Pre-covid I was training martial arts 4-5 times a week. To have that taken away was a massive blow. It was essentially my main outlet for everything.

But hey, later this year i'll be back in the gym which is a great thing to look forward to!

Same here, lucky enough to have some nice parks and good walks around. Walking every day, rain or shine, has kept me going, more or less.

Looking forward to the gyms reopening, whenever that will be.

Antares35

HildaOgdenx wrote: »

Same here, lucky enough to have some nice parks and good walks around. Walking every day, rain or shine, has kept me going, more or less.

Looking forward to the gyms reopening, whenever that will be.

I was watching TV last night and there was a scene with someone in a pool. He was the only one in it, and the way he was just slicing through the water as he swam, it really made me yearn for a swim! I didn't even realise I had missed swimming until I saw it!

Just back from another energising walk. I feel much better than I did just an hour ago.

Pussyhands

Personally I think the whole "I appreciate what's important in life" will all be forgotten about in a few months of normality.

The thing about full lockdowns is that everyone was in the same boat, stuck at home. Look what happened when we started to open up last summer, those still locked up at home were jealous of others being out and about, making money and they demanded to get the same.

There's a massive keeping up with the Jones's mentality in Ireland (probably everywhere). I see it very very often. I'm renting in a semi D and one neighbour put up an extension....few months later the other neighbour started the ball rolling to build one.

Same neighbour got a new SUV...other neighbour comes and gets a new SUV aswell.

YoshiReturns

Pussyhands wrote: »

Personally I think the whole "I appreciate what's important in life" will all be forgotten about in a few months of normality.

The thing about full lockdowns is that everyone was in the same boat, stuck at home. Look what happened when we started to open up last summer, those still locked up at home were jealous of others being out and about, making money and they demanded to get the same.

There's a massive keeping up with the Jones's mentality in Ireland (probably everywhere). I see it very very often. I'm renting in a semi D and one neighbour put up an extension....few months later the other neighbour started the ball rolling to build one.

Same neighbour got a new SUV...other neighbour comes and gets a new SUV aswell.

Not an extension or an SUV, but a coffee maker in a sale in SuperValue. Bought out of sheer boredom.

But I can't pick it up, 'cause my daughter has to get tested for covid.

So, I have to isolate until the results come back at least.

****ing covid.

(edit)

First world problem, but also couldn't attend my father's funeral and missed a hospital operation slot due to ****ing covid.

Pussyhands

YoshiReturns wrote: »

Not an extension or an SUV, but a coffee maker in a sale in SuperValue. Bought out of sheer boredom.

But I can't pick it up, 'cause my daughter has to get tested for covid.

So, I have to isolate until the results come back at least.

****ing covid.

Could they deliver it? Could give them a ring.

YellowLead

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend who had a breakup just before lockdown and she's panicking now because (in her words) she thinks her life is going over her and she's missing the boat to get out and meet someone, settle down and have kids etc. I can completely understand her concern, because if it was me I'd be the same

This is also a concern of mine, though I didn’t want to admit it! I ended a long term last Jan was just starting to date when everything hit. I’m 36 heading for 37 but was 35 when it started. I feel some very important years of my eligibility (as a woman) have vanished.
But I do temper it with get into lucky to be alive and that I can get dating again properly when this all ends.

A cup of te

YellowLead wrote: »

This is also a concern of mine, though I didn’t want to admit it! I ended a long term last Jan was just starting to date when everything hit. I’m 36 heading for 37 but was 35 when it started. I feel some very important years of my eligibility (as a woman) have vanished.
But I do temper it with get into lucky to be alive and that I can get dating again properly when this all ends.

33 when it started, soon to be 35 and I am trying to accept that I will likely never have children now. No opportunity to meet anyone. Live, work and sleep in the one room in my parents house. Saving like mad but prices go up and up and up. Wondering should I hold out. Will there be a crash? Can I stick this nightmare much longer? Then you try to calm yourself down and think maybe you sgould just be grateful to be alive and have a roof over your head and you go around and around in that circle. Feeling very worthless and not represented or acknowledged at any level. Hope to see better days.

MrStuffins

A cup of te wrote: »

33 when it started, soon to be 35 and I am trying to accept that I will likely never have children now. No opportunity to meet anyone. Live, work and sleep in the one room in my parents house. Saving like mad but prices go up and up and up. Wondering should I hold out. Will there be a crash? Can I stick this nightmare much longer? Then you try to calm yourself down and think maybe you sgould just be grateful to be alive and have a roof over your head and you go around and around in that circle. Feeling very worthless and not represented or acknowledged at any level. Hope to see better days.

The David McWilliams podcast from March 23rd has some good conversation and opinion on how the housing market is and how it will look in the coming years. Worth a listen

sporina

sporina wrote: »

I don't think that people on here who are encouraging being positive are being ignorant, unsympathetic or flippant etc.. they are just trying to help perhaps..

Maybe. But nobody is on this thread, which is after all for sharing personal experiences, trying to tell the positive people that they're wrong to feel the way they do, or they're living their life wrong, or they need to think differently, or whatever. That's why it comes across as ignorant.

Everyone's experiences are valuable, and sometimes venting about negative experiences is cathartic in and of itself - and requires no response or attempts to find solutions.

Being affected in a negative way by this last year is not a personal failing.

Antares35

A cup of te wrote: »

33 when it started, soon to be 35 and I am trying to accept that I will likely never have children now. No opportunity to meet anyone. Live, work and sleep in the one room in my parents house. Saving like mad but prices go up and up and up. Wondering should I hold out. Will there be a crash? Can I stick this nightmare much longer? Then you try to calm yourself down and think maybe you sgould just be grateful to be alive and have a roof over your head and you go around and around in that circle. Feeling very worthless and not represented or acknowledged at any level. Hope to see better days.

I was 35 when I started dating my fiancé, and I was also back living at home because the year before I'd had a miscarriage and then a breakup. Things looked really bleak. I remember I didn't even want to go on a first date with him because I thought he "talked too much" in his messages, and I only just went because I was tired sitting at home feeling bad. Of course then I met him. Things can change for the better very quickly sometimes. We've a little girl now (I was almost 37 having her) and will be 38 having our second in a few months. I too hope the restrictions lift before we all go mad! And I hope everything works out for you.

VonLuck

Deleted User wrote: »

Maybe. But nobody is on this thread, which is after all for sharing personal experiences, trying to tell the positive people that they're wrong to feel the way they do, or they're living their life wrong, or they need to think differently, or whatever. That's why it comes across as ignorant.

Everyone's experiences are valuable, and sometimes venting about negative experiences is cathartic in and of itself - and requires no response or attempts to find solutions.

Being affected in a negative way by this last year is not a personal failing.

No one on this thread has said it's wrong to feel the way they feel. People, myself included, are saying that trying to look at things in a positive light might help you get out of a downward spiral of negativity. I don't think anyone wants to feel down and depressed.

A cup of te

Antares35 wrote: »

I was 35 when I started dating my fiancé, and I was also back living at home because the year before I'd had a miscarriage and then a breakup. Things looked really bleak. I remember I didn't even want to go on a first date with him because I thought he "talked too much" in his messages, and I only just went because I was tired sitting at home feeling bad. Of course then I met him. Things can change for the better very quickly sometimes. We've a little girl now (I was almost 37 having her) and will be 38 having our second in a few months. I too hope the restrictions lift before we all go mad! And I hope everything works out for you.

Congrats and best wishes, Antares :-) I know it can happen still but I suppose when there's talk of this going on for years I start to worry what age I'll be when I can actually date again. I know it could happen now but the opportunities for it to happen have been greatly reduced and I've never been into the online dating.
Thanks, MrStuffins. I'll definitely listen to that. It's ridiculous at the moment when you can't even view a house.
Oh, look, I'm alive and myself and my family are physically well but, yeah, this experience has overall been an absolute nightmare and I want my old life back ASAP. Pros and cons and winners and losers to everything. To answer the OP I am a shell of my former self and query my purpose now. I think I will bounce back provided it doesn't go on for too much longer.