Ruining a wedding

tayto lover

NickNickleby wrote: »

Couples are under enormous financial pressure these days. I wouldn't be criticising a couple who went for the 'economical' approach to their wedding reception. They might have had to make a choice between buy a round for fewer people, or invite all their friends using the method above. And as the presence of guests can make or break the atmosphere at a reception, I'd certainly always stay till the end.

I was best man at a shoestring reception in the 70's, but in those days everyone knew the story. Fairly basic 3 course fare and one round of drinks at the table, and everyone happy to be there, and enjoyed themselves. And of course, lots of toasters behind the top table afterwards :pac::pac::pac:

In the last 15 years I've been at some wedding receptions that look like (and probably cost as much as ) the Oscars. Why???

Couples who can’t afford it should just have a small family wedding.

PhilOssophy

tayto lover wrote: »

Couples who can’t afford it should just have a small family wedding.

Agree. And people see being shaked down for a few quid by a couple a mile away. If I think I am part of the "economic approach", I just decline and say I am busy that weekend.

If people don't see it, they are very naive.

NickNickleby

PhilOssophy wrote: »

Agree. And people see being shaked down for a few quid by a couple a mile away. If I think I am part of the "economic approach", I just decline and say I am busy that weekend.

If people don't see it, they are very naive.

Well, whatever about naivety, my own approach is to always give the benefit of the doubt. If people dont see it, maybe it isn't there.

KevRossi

A work colleague from a few years ago was raised first in a Magdalene laundry, then in an industrial school. He got married in the late 90's when the stories of those places started to come out. He has no family, never knew any of them. He would have been interviewed a few times in the 90's in papers and on radio as he was very open about the abuse that went on.

At the reception, during his speech, the father of the bride made some crude comments about how it was a cheap wedding because he (the groom) had no family to invite, also made some reference to hoping he's not gay after all the rape allegations that went on there. Priest spent most of his speech saying that many fine boys came out of the system and he hoped that the groom wouldn't let the industrial schools down during his marriage and that the rumours of the laundries and industrial schools were all lies.

GingerLily

KevRossi wrote: »

A work colleague from a few years ago was raised first in a Magdalene laundry, then in an industrial school. He got married in the late 90's when the stories of those places started to come out. He has no family, never knew any of them. He would have been interviewed a few times in the 90's in papers and on radio as he was very open about the abuse that went on.

At the reception, during his speech, the father of the bride made some crude comments about how it was a cheap wedding because he (the groom) had no family to invite, also made some reference to hoping he's not gay after all the rape allegations that went on there. Priest spent most of his speech saying that many fine boys came out of the system and he hoped that the groom wouldn't let the industrial schools down during his marriage and that the rumours of the laundries and industrial schools were all lies.

They sound like the most depressing speeches I've ever heard

Poor wedding couple

cloudatlas

Leg End Reject wrote: »

I'll never understand why they wait until the poor groom is waiting in the church, as least the bride gets a heads up and isn't humiliated like that.

The whole event is a stressful pressure cooker that brings out emotions that have been suppressed. Before a friends wedding the grooms hair was turning white in patches due to stress, at the reception he was checking out other women, they separated soon after, two kids, he moved on to someone else fast.

It's best to find out before than after.

DublinWriter

Space-worm.

If you know, you know.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

Toots wrote: »

My auld pair were at a wedding a couple of years ago where no drinks were provided for the guests at all - they had to pay for everything. Usually the guests would be given tea/coffee on arrival and a glass of wine with dinner at the very least, but at this one the arrival tea/coffee was €1.50 per cup, and then everyone had to pay for their own drinks at the dinner - there was a little "menu" card on each table with the drinks and the prices beside it.

The venue was one of these places where you basically hired the venue and then you organised your own catering etc so the bride and groom had clearly made the decision to charge the guests for the drinks, as opposed to the venue doing it. And it wasn't a "token" charge either, it was basically standard bar prices and they were even charging for soft drinks. Mum said it was obvious a lot of people were really shocked and there was a fair about of grumbling about it, some people sarcastically asking if they were going to have to pay for the food too. The majority of the guests fecked off as soon as the first dance was over, and Mum and Dad stayed a bit longer just to be polite and then eventually they left too.

My wedding was in a place like this (Very common in Colombia) but we just stocked up on drink that we found good deals on and then had a free bar.

rainbowtrout

Just after reading Toots post and it reminded me of a cousins wedding about 10-12 years back. I wasn't at it but my parents were. Clearly couldn't afford the fairly typical Irish wedding so cut corners rather than having the smaller wedding and being able to afford the basics. Remember my mother saying that when they went in for the dinner there was a toast to the bride and groom and everyone stood up for the toast, except no drinks had been provided. There was no wine served with the meal, and there was no toast drink provided, so most of the guests were toasting with empty wine glasses, unless they had brought a drink from the bar earlier. Then the meal wasn't the typical beef or salmon but a self serve buffet, so it was a scramble to get food, obviously if you ended up at the back of the queue, what you got was pot luck, so some guests got big dinners and others got small ones.

Victor

Not a wedding, but a funeral. The deceased was my parent's neighbour, who was predeceasdd by her husband by about 30 years.

The priest gave the eulogy, having known the deceased for decades. It included the line about the couple "Of course, they met in X Psychiatric Hospital". Cue panicked moments among the funeral attendees until people realised that they had both been psychiatric nurses, but she would have had to resign when they married and in later years people wouldn't necessarily have associated her with her work.

freshpopcorn

Not really ruined a wedding but there's a very famous Irish dancer(Who rose to fame in 1994) and he used go out with a socialite. This man was very good to visit a local hospital for the elderly and she accompanied him at some stage and they put up pictures of them together and some that were in the media.
There relationship ended and he started going out with another dancer he danced with. They got engaged. On the day of the wedding they rang the hospital to say they were going to call in.
The staff were panicking trying to get pictures down off the walls and hide them, I think some staff members were trying to stand in front of them and they also had to deal with the residents who were asking where's the other blonde one.
It was meant to have being hilarious.

whitey1

I was at a great wedding years ago. A good friend of mine at the time was footing the bill.....his wife had been married before and her daughter was getting married. Anyway the entire bridal party looked like supermodels with one exception. At the time Butterbean, the boxer was very popular and my buddy said something to the effect of “Jaysus, that one would give Butterbean a run for his money”

Long story short, the comment was overheard and all hell broke loose.....women crying, people being held back etc

What I don't understand about the skimping antics is that I imagine a lot of guests would probably halve their cash gift if they felt they were not being appreciated. A false economy.

Lewis_Benson

whitey1 wrote: »

I was at a great wedding years ago. A good friend of mine at the time was footing the bill.....his wife had been married before and her daughter was getting married. Anyway the entire bridal party looked like supermodels with one exception. At the time Butterbean, the boxer was very popular and my buddy said something to the effect of “Jaysus, that one would give Butterbean a run for his money”

Long story short, the comment was overheard and all hell broke loose.....women crying, people being held back etc

People can be nasty, that's a fairly crass comment to make about someone.

Leg End Reject

[Deleted User] wrote: »

What I don't understand about the skimping antics is that I imagine a lot of guests would probably halve their cash gift if they felt they were not being appreciated. A false economy.

You won't know until the day though, so most will have given their gift before they realise it's a budget wedding.

razorblunt

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

People can be nasty, that's a fairly crass comment to make about someone.

And yer man making the comment probably looking like he went a few rounds with Butterbean himself.

Leg End Reject

Leg End Reject wrote: »

You won't know until the day though, so most will have given their gift before they realise it's a budget wedding.

I've never bought a wedding 'gift'... And can't remember the last time I saw a packaged gift at a wedding. It's been about 4 years since I've been to a wedding though.

Leg End Reject

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I've never bought a wedding 'gift'... And can't remember the last time I saw a packaged gift at a wedding. It's been about 4 years since I've been to a wedding though.

Well I meant gift as money in a card, chances are you given it before the meal. You can't ask for it back and take half of the money out.

dinneenp

Deleted User wrote: »

I've never bought a wedding 'gift'... And can't remember the last time I saw a packaged gift at a wedding. It's been about 4 years since I've been to a wedding though.

If someone had a wrapped gift (e.g. photo in a frame) you're not going to wander around with it while sipping wine. I'd imagine it'd be given to somebody before the big day or immediately upon arrival.

PhilOssophy

The worst thing about a miserly wedding is that everybody remembers you as the miser who had a poxy wedding and made everybody pay for it. The best thing about your wedding is for it to be unremarkable, people have a good day and enjoyed it but don't really remember it!
If you can't afford to at least give people a decent meal and a glass of wine, then invite less people.

dinneenp

dinneenp wrote: »

If someone had a wrapped gift (e.g. photo in a frame) you're not going to wander around with it while sipping wine.

Well, in fairness they deserve the budget wedding :pac:

Frynge

Didn't ruin the wedding but i always thought it was very bad form from one of the guests at my wedding.

He was the +1 of a college friend who woundn't have know too many people at our wedding. We had the reception in a small village that had a pub on the road in and a hotel on the road out. Most people were going to go to the pub after the ceromony and before the reception as is somewhat normal, so I went to the pub a few days before hand and left €2K behind the bar for people to get drinks. then in the Hotel there were 3 bars and one was just for our wedding, which had an open bar. During the meal wine was served, glass and top up but then bottles were left on some of the tables, basically for whoever wanted wine.

Anyway just as the band are finished up and i am out back having a smoke with my brothers, this guy comes up to me and starts giving out that no one told him about the free drinks in the pub or the bar in the hotel, and how he doesn't drink wine so it was pointless that that was free.

One of my brothers ran him fairly quickly.

knucklehead6

Two stories, neither hilariously funny, but they raise a smile in the family when we talk about weddings.

I was best man for my brother. He’s close on 7ft tall and not skinny, and his wife is a tiny slip of a thing.
When it came to the part of me handing over the rings I reached into the pocket and to my horror could only find one. My brother saw the look of abject panic on my face and put on this absolutely thunderous look. When I took the ring out, to my delight they were both there. Hers was nice n neatly in his. My brother complimented me on the little trick I pulled later on, telling me I had got him good. I think our mother copped on though, cos she said to me afterwards she had never seen me looking so relieved

At my sisters wedding myself and two of the grooms sisters were doing the prayers of the faithful. We had been told to let the previous person come back before approaching the lecture/microphone thing. The first sister went up, did hers no bother. Then me and as I stood back in place my heel stood on the base of a big 8ft candle stand. Of course as soon as I lifted my heel the candle at the top wobbled and fell, thump thump thump bouncing off another candle on the way down. Both of them were put out in the fall but the grooms younger sister had to do her prayers then and couldn’t as she had a total fit of the giggles after seeing this, but only the front rows of the congregation saw it so no one could figure out what was going on

The priest came over as the three of us were leaving, picked up the two candles and says, oh I wondered what the noise was

whitey1

About 20 years ago a friend of mine was at a family wedding in a very rural area. A cousin who had being raised in England came out of the closet shortly before the wedding and somehow “finagled” an invitation for his partner.

Certain attendees were “warned” ahead of time not to create any issues and that this is how things were nowadays etc, etc.

Everything was going fine until later in the evening when one of the people who had been warned saw the partner chatting with another cousin who was 15 or 16.

Straight over and grabbed the fella by the lapels of the jacket and accused of of trying to “put notions in a young fellas head”......a table of drink may have been toppled over in the process.

Anyway it was close enough to the end of the night that the instigator was made leave the reception by his wife and possibly even had to apologize the next day

whitey1

I was the best man in a wedding where one of the groomsmen had years before, crashed into the brides fathers and totaled his car. There was a civil case and serious compensation was paid out

The groomsman could get very thick with drink on board, and during the bachelor party (which was just a glorified pub crawl around the neighboring villages) made a few snide comments to the brides brother about a new car he had bought......anyway nothing happened, but the groomsmans wife got wind of what had been said and banned him from drinking at the wedding.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding and the groomsman was on best behavior, drinking Cidona all day and night......at least that’s what people thought. I was up at the bar and offered to buy him a Cidona, except that’s when I realized what the “work around” was....a double Vodka poured into a pint of Bulmers with a bottle of Cidona on the side for show.

Anyway, all’s well that ends well as his wife was expecting and he had to gone home early anyway. He was tasked with asking a gate crasher to leave just before he departed, but handled it very well all things considered (There was another wedding on the property and a taxi had dropped the gate crasher off at the wrong entrance, and he was so hammered he hadn’t noticed he was at the wrong wedding)

pgj2015

whitey1 wrote: »

I was the best man in a wedding where one of the groomsmen had years before, crashed into the brides fathers and totaled his car. There was a civil case and serious compensation was paid out

The groomsman could get very thick with drink on board, and during the bachelor party (which was just a glorified pub crawl around the neighboring villages) made a few snide comments to the brides brother about a new car he had bought......anyway nothing happened, but the groomsmans wife got wind of what had been said and banned him from drinking at the wedding.

Fast forward to the day of the wedding and the groomsman was on best behavior, drinking Cidona all day and night......at least that’s what people thought. I was up at the bar and offered to buy him a Cidona, except that’s when I realized what the “work around” was....a double Vodka poured into a pint of Bulmers with a bottle of Cidona on the side for show.

Anyway, all’s well that ends well as his wife was expecting and he had to gone home early anyway. He was tasked with asking a gate crasher to leave just before he departed, but handled it very well all things considered (There was another wedding on the property and a taxi had dropped the gate crasher off at the wrong entrance, and he was so hammered he hadn’t noticed he was at the wrong wedding)

We really do have a serious drink problem in this country lol.

Lollipops23

pgj2015 wrote: »

We really do have a serious drink problem in this country lol.

I would honestly be passed out after one of those concoctions.

nialler1978

pgj2015 wrote: »

We really do have a serious drink problem in this country lol.

yep, was at one where after hours in the residents bar some punter sh*t himself. smell was absolutely horrific. the person wasn't identified but the packed bar emptied almost immediately and the bar staff saw their opportunity and pulled the shutters down. not quite ruining the wedding but put a halt to the festivities pretty suddenly.

BattleCorp

nialler1978 wrote: »

yep, was at one where after hours in the residents bar some punter sh*t himself. smell was absolutely horrific. the person wasn't identified but the packed bar emptied almost immediately and the bar staff saw their opportunity and pulled the shutters down. not quite ruining the wedding but put a halt to the festivities pretty suddenly.

Not a wedding story but a guy in work came up to me one time and told me he had to go home. I asked him if everything was ok and he said no, he had to go home because he had sh1t himself. He wasn't lying.

Purple Mountain

BattleCorp wrote: »

Not a wedding story but a guy in work came up to me one time and told me he had to go home. I asked him if everything was ok and he said no, he had to go home because he had sh1t himself. He wasn't lying.

Something similar from me.. my cousin worked in a fairly posh hotel as bar staff in the 00s as a college student at weekends.
He was told by management one weekend night to go in and clean the men's toilets.
He found a trail of sc*tter all along the floor and the toilet bowl was destroyed.
He told them to stick the job and walked out.

Lewis_Benson

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Something similar from me.. my cousin worked in a fairly posh hotel as bar staff in the 00s as a college student at weekends.
He was told by management one weekend night to go in and clean the men's toilets.
He found a trail of sc*tter all along the floor and the toilet bowl was destroyed.
He told them to stick the job and walked out.

Fair play to him for sticking up for himself.
Who is supposed to do that clean up though, management certainly would not do it!.

Purple Mountain

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Fair play to him for sticking up for himself.
Who is supposed to do that clean up though, management certainly would not do it!.

The funker who crapped himself.

Ave Sodalis

Lewis_Benson wrote:

Fair play to him for sticking up for himself. Who is supposed to do that clean up though, management certainly would not do it!.

Technically, they're supposed to have a haz waste specialist team in. Speaking from experience though, staff do it.

Lewis_Benson

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

Technically, they're supposed to have a haz waste specialist team in. Speaking from experience though, staff do it.

Yep,
Get the young lad with no experience to do it.

Toots

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

Technically, they're supposed to have a haz waste specialist team in. Speaking from experience though, staff do it.

Yep, someone did that in a place where I worked and one of the managers was trying to get a staff member to clean it up. Luckily the other manager arrived and shut that down straight away and a specialist team was called out to deal with it.

jackboy

Toots wrote: »

Yep, someone did that in a place where I worked and one of the managers was trying to get a staff member to clean it up. Luckily the other manager arrived and shut that down straight away and a specialist team was called out to deal with it.

That is mad. I remember years ago working in a bar nightclub. Every Sunday morning the jacks was in a terrible state, excrement and puke everywhere. No member of staff ever refused to clean it.

Is this a common thing now to get a specialist team in to clean excrement of a floor? What about puke, does that need specialists also?

Lewis_Benson

jackboy wrote: »

That is mad. I remember years ago working in a bar nightclub. Every Sunday morning the jacks was in a terrible state, excrement and puke everywhere. No member of staff ever refused to clean it.

Is this a common thing now to get a specialist team in to clean excrement of a floor? What about puke, does that need specialists also?

In nightclubs, I doubt it.
In hotels, yes.

Ave Sodalis

jackboy wrote:

Is this a common thing now to get a specialist team in to clean excrement of a floor? What about puke, does that need specialists also?

A little off topic, but people dealing with food (restaurants, hotels etc) shouldn't really be cleaning up vomit, poop, blood etc. They do (I have cleaned up a lot of bodily fluids and former colleagues have had to clean up an exploded bag), but they really should bring in a specialist team.

worded

I heard about wedding where the photographer was the X of the bride.
It didnt ruin the wedding but must have been arkward

Collie D

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

A little off topic, but people dealing with food (restaurants, hotels etc) shouldn't really be cleaning up vomit, poop, blood etc. They do (I have cleaned up a lot of bodily fluids and former colleagues have had to clean up an exploded bag), but they really should bring in a specialist team.

I’ll regret this but could you clarify? Colostomy or...I actually don’t know what.

The J Stands for Jay

worded wrote: »

I heard about wedding where the photographer was the X of the bride.
It didnt ruin the wedding but must have been arkward

Was the what of the bride?

The Mighty Quinn

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Yep,
Get the young lad with no experience to do it.

16 year old me was that young lad with no experience who did many dirty jobs in hotels! :pac::o:D

odyssey06

McGaggs wrote: »

Was the what of the bride?

I presume the ex of the bride.
Rather than someone who filmed an x rated video of her...

Ave Sodalis

Collie D wrote:

I’ll regret this but could you clarify? Colostomy or...I actually don’t know what.

Or stoma... not entirely sure. There may not even have been a bag. This was judged based entirely on quantity, consistency and where it ended up. The person was long gone, never told anyone, and just left the contents all over the bathroom. And when I say all over, I mean all over.

NickNickleby

odyssey06 wrote: »

I presume the ex of the bride.
Rather than someone who filmed an x rated video of her...

Yes, but surely the second option would be more in keeping with the thread title :pac:

Tow

I once attended the wedding of a pair of our cultural cousins. There were about 40-50 at the church service, so not the huge affair you sometimes hear about. I was told that the bride was from a lower class in their culture, so the powers that be did not approve of the wedding. There is also a lot of pre and post story, due to their chaotic lifestyle. In order to keep the PC brigade happy I will not go into it, except to say the marriage ended up much like the wedding.

The day of the wedding was fine and sunny. And it started off much like any other wedding. Outside the church I was introduced to all the extended family and thanked for coming. When the bride arrived we all went into the church. Some of the women were stunners, but their outfits would be more in keeping with sunning on a beach than inside a church. The service started and I was sitting near the front. About half way through I heard some noise and noticed there were less people in the church. This continued and soon the only people left were the celebrants, priest, singer, two little old dears and a settled couple, who were also invited. When the service finished we all walked out of the church. It transpired that someone had arrived with a few slabs of beer and it was too much a temptation for the congregation. The priest said nothing throughout the whole service, but the look on his face when he came out said a lot. Finally the two old dears came out and the look on their faces could kill. One of them proclaimed they were "All a F***ing Disgrace'. Then she saw whom I assume was the 'Boss Man' and started on him. The sight of the little old dear taking on a big fellow, probably 5 times her size was greeted with great amusement by the other attendees. All with a fag in one hand and a tin in the other. I was invited to the afters, but politely declined.

Seth Brundle

Turfcutter wrote: »

I was at a wedding ceremony where the priest clearly had an axe to grind about the descending morals he was witnessing.

I was my mates best man. At his wedding, the priest started the sermon with the following: "a third of marriages end in divorce". You could hear the gasps from the congregation.
There was a co-celebrant priest who kept winking at me. The groomsman was cracking up trying not to laugh. I was stunned and didn't know where to look. Talking to the bride's family afterwards, apparently he did that to loads of fellas but never went further than that (thankfully)

worded

worded wrote: »

I heard about wedding where the photographer was the X of the bride.
It didnt ruin the wedding but must have been arkward

Kerry wedding by any chance? Been to one of those - maybe its a thing.

BattleCorp

Ave Sodalis wrote: »

Technically, they're supposed to have a haz waste specialist team in. Speaking from experience though, staff do it.

:pac::pac::pac:

Haz waste specialist team. Is that the new name for the lowest paid person on staff, often someone under 18?

PhilOssophy

BattleCorp wrote: »

:pac::pac::pac:

Haz waste specialist team. Is that the new name for the lowest paid person on staff, often someone under 18?

Its a great way of promoting a "stay in school, go to college" message for somebody under 18!