Ruining a wedding

shesty

I wouldn't say ruined, but I did attend a wedding where the groom's father gave a speech that was bordering on extremely insulting to the bride.Worse, once he had finished that bit, he launched into a 30 minute bewildering ramble where he basically explored various branches of his family tree, making out that his family were far better than hers (she is absolutely classy, the groom got very lucky).There was also a priest in attendance who was a family friend and he made a short speech that also left me shocked, it was really belittling of her.

She didn't notice on the day, but a few months later I was talking to her about the day in general and the realisation had sunk in that neither speech had been appropriate at all.

tea and coffee

I dimly recall a thread on here from an artist who was invited to a wedding and as a gift was asked to/ going to paint a picture of the cpuple. The bride and her mother also tried to strong arm her into buying an expensive blender (or similar) as the painting wasn't deemed a "real present "
Think the day was shambolic enough as well where is dawned on people that the menu in the venue had prices and they were being asked to pay for their meal.

Must have a look for it

Sebastian Dangerfield

tea and coffee wrote: »

I dimly recall a thread on here from an artist who was invited to a wedding and as a gift was asked to/ going to paint a picture of the cpuple. The bride and her mother also tried to strong arm her into buying an expensive blender (or similar) as the painting wasn't deemed a "real present "
Think the day was shambolic enough as well where is dawned on people that the menu in the venue had prices and they were being asked to pay for their meal.

Must have a look for it

The stand mixer story! Remember it well

screamer

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

I have left out a lot of detail due to an irrational fear that someone in attendance will read it, and easily identify it. It was pretty unique!

Fawlty Towers the Wedding
Complete with Manuel the barman

nibtrix

tea and coffee wrote: »

I dimly recall a thread on here from an artist who was invited to a wedding and as a gift was asked to/ going to paint a picture of the cpuple. The bride and her mother also tried to strong arm her into buying an expensive blender (or similar) as the painting wasn't deemed a "real present "
Think the day was shambolic enough as well where is dawned on people that the menu in the venue had prices and they were being asked to pay for their meal.

Must have a look for it

Enjoy!
https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057355848/1

tea and coffee

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

The stand mixer story! Remember it well

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057355848/1

Its a great read.

I got confused: the paying for your own meal was a separate wedding https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057262110

Jimmy Bottlehead

PGE1970 wrote: »

One of my pals was Best Man for a pal of ours. Rural wedding down the country.

He proceeded to entertain the congregation with tales of the groom including those of his "lively" past life.

Including this belter of a line which stunned the room apart from our table who were crying with laughter.....

"He never went to bed with a dog. But he certainly woke up with a few!"

Which part of the country was this in?

NewbridgeIR

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Going by the last 2 post all weddings in the Uk must be the same then.

I've been to weddings in England and Wales and yes, both quite dry and sedate compared to Irish shindigs. The Welsh one was over by 11.00pm and no-one seemed to be bothered. It was held in a marquee in the middle of nowhere so couldn't go onto any other pub.

Their funerals are similarly bad. Shockingly impersonal and cold. Held ages after the death, very few people there etc.

Elliejo

poisonated wrote: »

I know someone who was getting married and the groom was in the British army and was shot at by an Ira guy known as “the fox”. I’m sure that ruined

I know the one you mean.ðŸ™

Sebastian Dangerfield

NewbridgeIR wrote: »

Their funerals are similarly bad. Shockingly impersonal and cold. Held ages after the death, very few people there etc.

Off topic but I think I prefer their attitude to funerals to be honest. The use of death as a social activity in this country really gets on my t1ts.

malinheader

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

Off topic but I think I prefer their attitude to funerals to be honest. The use of death as a social activity in this country really gets on my t1ts.

I'm totally the opposite think the way alot of funerals were celebrated here before covid were a whole lot better than the one across the pond.
There's a saying where I am from that an Irish funeral is better than an English wedding.

Age and circumstances taken into consideration of course.

fergiesfolly

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

Off topic but I think I prefer their attitude to funerals to be honest. The use of death as a social activity in this country really gets on my t1ts.

Disagree, although it depends on the age of the person deceased.
It's often a meeting point for old friends or extended family who mightn't have seen each other for months or even years.
I've been to funerals where the deceased family were very happy to see people congregate outside and have a chat. It's like losing someone close is eased by having drought so many together.
It's why I've felt desperately sorry for people going through a funeral right now. Losing a loved one and not having the larger community around to help them mourn must be very difficult.
It's something we Irish do better than a lot of other cultures.
Plenty of funerals I've been to were better than weddings.

Cilldara_2000

malinheader wrote: »

I'm totally the opposite think the way alot of funerals were celebrated here before covid were a whole lot better than the one across the pond.
There's a saying where I am from that an Irish funeral is better than an English wedding.

Age and circumstances taken into consideration of course.

Irish funerals also beat Irish weddings.

malinheader

Cilldara_2000 wrote: »

Irish funerals also beat Irish weddings.

Can't really disagree with you, Last few I went to before covid were a long drawn out day. Might be as i am getting older but the hotels seem to hold out on the dinner as late as possible now so to make as much on the drinking before dinner. As far as I can remember the food was served anywhere between 6 and 9.
Anyhow that's a different topic.
Have to say some of the stories on this thread are brilliant.

Pawwed Rig

I had a guy arrive at my wedding in the evening time. He was invited to the whole thing but decided just to come to the afters. Noone else was just invited to the afters so he decided he was well behind in the alcohol consumption stakes so started lashing it back. By 1 am he was out of his head and was trying to (hamfistidly) hit on every girl in the place, insulted one of my cousins by telling her she looks like a man, used racial slurs against my best man and just being a general messy drunk. At that stage he was forcibly ejected from the hotel. He was staying in a B&B close by and went in to bed but then decided he needed a cigarette so went into a kind of courtyard area in the B&B to smoke. Unfortunately for him he was in his underpants when he did this and managed to lock himself in to the courtyard where he was stuck until the B&B owner arrived a couple of hours later to start breakfast.

Tool :pac:

cj maxx

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

Off topic but I think I prefer their attitude to funerals to be honest. The use of death as a social activity in this country really gets on my t1ts.

So many times I've seen families standing there , dumb struck shaking hands ,with people who are for the most part , strangers. Awful tradition for the most part.

spakman

cj maxx wrote: »

So many times I've seen families standing there , dumb struck shaking hands ,with people who are for the most part , strangers. Awful tradition for the most part.

From my experience, it's a great comfort to the family to have people come and pay their respects. They could be people they haven't seen in years and it means a lot when they take the time to be there. And yes, there's a great social aspect to it which also helps and leaves many fond memories as stories are told etc

Leg End Reject

spakman wrote: »

From my experience, it's a great comfort to the family to have people come and pay their respects. They could be people they haven't seen in years and it means a lot when they take the time to be there. And yes, there's a great social aspect to it which also helps and leaves many fond memories as stories are told etc

It's lovely to meet people who know the deceased when they were younger too, you get a greater sense of the person. Especially if they were a parent, we only ever know our parents when they're parents.

Santan

Anybody else reading through this thread hoping not to read a story and suddenly realise, uh oh this is about me

cena

Hi, Folks. OP here. I was not expecting this many replies.

So brother got married 8 years ago. Uncle and his come over from England the day before the wedding. The hotel was 30 minutes away from where we all lived. They wouldn't even come out to the brother and his wife the night before.
Day of the wedding we get to the hotel and they stayed in the room while the photos are been taken. It left a bad atmosphere for the day the way they treated my brother, they were also heard to be saying they didn't want to come to the wedding.

We also had an aunt come over from England. She stayed with us the night before and kept going on about staying in the hotel. We didn't stay at the hotel and we only lived 30 mins away and I was driving (non-drinker), Anyways the whole day of the wedding she kept going about us staying there for the night. We kept telling her no due to living so close. The night rolls on and the aunt is very fond of the drink and gets plastered. She makes a show of the family jumping on the chairs and making a fool of a much older cousin.

Anyway, we go home and my mother lets loose in the aunt and uncle her (sister and brother) how bad they acted over the weekend and the uncle couldn't even come to the house the night before. The aunt got her wish and stayed at the hotel after been told she was no longer welcomed back to the house.
I arrived back to the hotel the next morning with her suitecase and she gets in the uncle's car to get onto the same boat home as the uncle and wife. He only came for the day
We have another aunt in England who wouldn't come over for her first nephew of 3 to get married. That took the biscuit altogether with the brother and mother

lawred2

cj maxx wrote: »

So many times I've seen families standing there , dumb struck shaking hands ,with people who are for the most part , strangers. Awful tradition for the most part.

The queue to shake hands thing is horrible alright but I doubt it's uniquely Irish..

banie01

Santan wrote: »

Anybody else reading through this thread hoping not to read a story and suddenly realise, uh oh this is about me

No...
Are you? Feel free to share, this is a safe space with zero judgement!

lawred2

spakman wrote: »

From my experience, it's a great comfort to the family to have people come and pay their respects. They could be people they haven't seen in years and it means a lot when they take the time to be there. And yes, there's a great social aspect to it which also helps and leaves many fond memories as stories are told etc

There is no way the procession/lineup for handshaking allows for stories to be told... Try to dawdle for longer than a couple of sentences and you get told to move along quick enough..

Leg End Reject

lawred2 wrote: »

There is no way the procession/lineup for handshaking allows for stories to be told... Try to dawdle for longer than a couple of sentences and you get told to move along quick enough..

It's done at the wake and after the burial when everyone goes for refreshments.

Notmything

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Kind of. Twas me that did the ruining. Won't go into any more detail than that. Great satisfaction from it though

What did you take to sh1t so much???? Did you know they were fellow boardsies?

lawred2

Leg End Reject wrote: »

It's done at the wake and after the burial when everyone goes for refreshments.

I know that. But the poster specifically highlighted the procession of handshakes... And it is very Irish for every Tom, Dick and Harry to join that queue.

There's no stories being told.

I like the late night story telling where you're really only in the company of family and friends but there's a lot of horrible protocol to get through before that.

Anyway, we're going off topic:)

Leg End Reject

lawred2 wrote: »

I know that. But the poster specifically highlighted the procession of handshakes... And it is very Irish for every Tom, Dick and Harry to join that queue.

There's no stories being told.

I like the late night story telling where you're really only in the company of family and friends but there's a lot of horrible protocol to get through before that.

Anyway, we're going off topic:)

Ah, you're talking about the people who are there "to be seen to be there"! We have our wires crossed!

Back to ruined weddings now ...

NIMAN

I knew a girl who decided on the morning of her wedding she wasn't going ahead with it.

To be fair to her, she went and stood on the church steps and told everyone it was off, and apologised.

cj maxx

Drunk young men jumping around when pensioners are dancing is sure fire way to ruin a reception.

HBC08

Great thread.
I was groomsman at a wedding where one of the lads who was steamboats after the church herded a few sheep into the champagne reception.
Sheep are more agressive than you think,while everyone (and the sheep) went mental he whipped down his trousers and played the grand piano with his bare arse cheeks.

Leg End Reject

HBC08 wrote: »

Great thread.
I was groomsman at a wedding where one of the lads who was steamboats after the church herded a few sheep into the champagne reception.
Sheep are more agressive than you think,while everyone (and the sheep) went mental he whipped down his trousers and played the grand piano with his bare arse cheeks.

Ewe'd have to see it to believe it!

Parachutes

Was at a wedding pre covid for a cousin of mine. He had met this girl in America and after a year of going back and forth to visit each other they decided to get married. He had met her family and she ours but the two families hadn’t met each other until just before the wedding.

Anyway the culture clash was evident from the get go. While the Irish were all dressed up to the nines in suits etc they were just dressed like they were going out to a nice restaurant. Even the bride had this yellow flowery dress on her, it was nice but not really a conventional wedding dress. I think weddings must be completely different over there because they looked like fish out of water. The drinking and general carry on was shocking to them. They were devout bible bashing catholics and shur even the priest was pissed you know yourself.

Then it came to the speeches and the best man (who only met her the week before or so) was joking about how she was only doing it for the visa and to get away from being shot in America, it was fairly tame stuff but they didn’t get the humour at all and nearly started a row over it. The bride was awful upset about the whole thing and blamed the family for ruining her wedding day.

Felt bad for the cousin because he’s a fairly introverted fella and was running around like a blue arse fly all day introducing people and trying to simmer the tensions. Needless to say the two families haven’t seen each other since.

Notmything

Showed this thread to a colleague at work.

She was at a wedding where the groom got steaming drunk, decided to relieve himself outside.

Someone saw him n he panicked, up went the zip and he "caught himself" in it. Apparently there was blood everywhere n he staggers back into the reception clutching his bleeding bits and screaming for help. Those trying to help only made it worse.

Ambulance called and he ended up in a+e. But he now has a cute scar on his knob.

And it's a not so friendly reminder to his wife of her ruined wedding night.

anewme

Parachutes wrote: »

Then it came to the speeches and the best man (who only met her the week before or so) was joking about how she was only doing it for the visa and to get away from being shot in America, it was fairly tame stuff but they didn’t get the humour at all and nearly started a row over it. The bride was awful upset about the whole thing and blamed the family for ruining her wedding day.

I

To be honest that reflects more on the best man.

Would be same someone from Northern Ireland going to UK and best man saying they did it to get away from bombs.

Stuff like that never lands well.

Parachutes

anewme wrote: »

To be honest that reflects more on the best man.

Would be same someone from Northern Ireland going to UK and best man saying they did it to get away from bombs.

Stuff like that never lands well.

I agree. I think it was one of those things that sounded funny in his head but didn’t come out right. It was good humoured and fairly harmless banter but the way the yanks took it was completely over the top.

HBC08

I was at a cousins wedding with the other half,she hadnt met any of my extented family at the time.

We were three drinks in before we realised we were at the wrong wedding.

We also missed the actual wedding earlier that day because we couldnt find the church.

Parachutes

HBC08 wrote: »

I was at a cousins wedding with the other half,she hadnt met any of my extented family at the time.

We were three drinks in before we realised we were at the wrong wedding.

We also missed the actual wedding earlier that day because we couldnt find the church.

How’d you manage that at all.

HBC08

Parachutes wrote: »

How’d you manage that at all.

I wouldnt mind but this was only a couple of years ago,we had google maps.It was the arse end of Connemara

The hotels were beside eachother in Galway city,it was a massive wedding and i didnt expect to know half the people there,it only dawned on me after an hour that i didnt know one person!

gogo

Great thread!

I was at at wedding where the bride and groom were friends of ours and very much a reserved couple. They had wanted to go abroad but her parents weren’t having it, her dad wouldn’t fly. Both of them are shy and you could tell the whole day was their idea of a nightmare, it’s kind of took from the day, as you could tell they weren’t enjoying themselves.

At the same wedding I had gone back to our room in the hotel to freshen up around 9 o clock and being a smoker at the time .. I went out into the balcony for a cigarette. When I turned back around, there was no handle on the outside of the door ... I remained out there, in a sleeveless dress, at a December wedding, for over three hours! I had brought one cigarette and a lighter with me, nothing else.
Himself came in and out of the room, twice I could hear the door room close after him leaving but hadn’t heard him come in to start banging. I was huddled into the corner of the balcony, frozen. The curtains in the room were closed, I pushed them aside instead of opening them going out.
The kitchen staff were outside at one stage, half the hotel away and I started shouting my room number at them and that I was locked out ... they came up ... and I could hear them knocking on the hotel room door... ah mate I can’t answer you.. they left and don’t return nor go outside the kitchen again. The room was at the back of the hotel so I didn’t see anyone else for that full three hours.
My husband eventually found me on his search, he had done the whole hotel at least twenty times looking for me including gone up and down the road outside the hotel.. he was in a panic but sure everyone else was well oiled at that stage and weren’t paying too much mind of him and his search assuming i gone off drunk and would show up... I was half dead with the cold by the time he did find me. The wedding for me anyway was ruined, I came in, changed and went straight to bed with borderline hypothermia. Didn’t mention it to the bride or groom but did fook the hotel out of it the next day..

KevRossi

glenfieldman wrote: »

Give a clue to the politicians involved

One of the Councillors now a TD. Sitting TD got voted out a few years back. Other two are still Councillors.

Of the 4 of them 2 are FF, 2 are FG. In the Midlands and I'm not naming names.

Notmything wrote: »

Showed this thread to a colleague at work.

She was at a wedding where the groom got steaming drunk, decided to relieve himself outside.

Someone saw him n he panicked, up went the zip and he "caught himself" in it. Apparently there was blood everywhere n he staggers back into the reception clutching his bleeding bits and screaming for help. Those trying to help only made it worse.

Ambulance called and he ended up in a+e. But he now has a cute scar on his knob.

And it's a not so friendly reminder to his wife of her ruined wedding night.

WE GOT A BLEEDER!!!!

Teyla Emmagan

Ludikrus wrote: »

A wedding I was at went off without a hitch and so did the reception. It was a really lovely upmarket hotel/lodge setup. Then, at about 5AM two guys smoking a spliff set off a fire alarm and the place had to be evacuated. Bride & groom, parents, everyone outside, half dressed and wrecked.

I was at that!!! Lisloughrey Lodge?!

cj maxx

HBC08 wrote: »

I was at a cousins wedding with the other half,she hadnt met any of my extented family at the time.

We were three drinks in before we realised we were at the wrong wedding.

We also missed the actual wedding earlier that day because we couldnt find the church.

I did that myself. It was a far better wedding than the right one !

Mister Vain

HBC08 wrote: »

I was at a cousins wedding with the other half,she hadnt met any of my extented family at the time.

We were three drinks in before we realised we were at the wrong wedding.

We also missed the actual wedding earlier that day because we couldnt find the church.

A bit like the episode of Only Fools And Horses where Del and Rodney went to the wrong funeral.

zetecescort

arrived late to the church one time, made a dash in the side door only to end up sitting with the choir. had to stand and sit whenever they did, mouthing the words to the songs

anewme

Mister Vain wrote: »

A bit like the episode of Only Fools And Horses where Del and Rodney went to the wrong funeral.

Myself and my boss some years ago went to the wrong funeral. I realised at the end that we didnt recognise anyone.

Our funeral was late and we were at the one before it.

He decided to shake hands with the family and sign the book out of respect as we had taken part . He loved funerals and was delighted then that we had another full funeral to attend plus soup n sambos after.

odyssey06

We've had people turn up at the wrong wedding.
We've had people turn up at the wrong funeral.
Most tragically, we've had weddings turn into funerals.

But I hope we haven't had anyone turn up at a funeral thinking it was a wedding!

Purple Mountain

lawred2 wrote: »

The queue to shake hands thing is horrible alright but I doubt it's uniquely Irish..

Absolutely not. How honourable is it for people to stand in a queue in solidarity to take a few minutes to pay respect to the deceased and offer some little comfort to the family?
I think it's an Irish custom that should never die.

Lady Haywire

odyssey06 wrote: »

We've had people turn up at the wrong wedding.
We've had people turn up at the wrong funeral.
Most tragically, we've had weddings turn into funerals.

But I hope we haven't had anyone turn up at a funeral thinking it was a wedding!

Post 346.
Well, sorta!

Sebastian Dangerfield

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Absolutely not. How honourable is it for people to stand in a queue in solidarity to take a few minutes to pay respect to the deceased and offer some little comfort to the family?
I think it's an Irish custom that should never die.

You're making a big assumption that it is comfort though. In any of my experiences, it has been anything but. Ive just wanted to go and comfort my family, and not sit in the cold for the benefit of strangers.

I think I started this funeral talk so hopefully to close it, with an example of my reasoning. A cousin of mine passed away in a tragic accident, a young man in his early 20s. His parents and siblings were distraught beyond anything Ive seen, but held themselves together as best they could to get through the funeral. The one thing they asked was that people not pay their respects in person, they couldnt face it. It was announced by the priest at the mass, on the local radio announcement and even a sign on their front door that they ask people to hold off on passing on their sympathies. Did anyone listen? Did they fcuk. They were queuing as the priest asked them not to. There were endless knocks on the very door that had the sign. I even saw them cornered putting diesel in the car.

My mother in law (about as old Ireland as it gets) talked about paying her respects. I told her as bluntly as I could not to, his mother was on the verge of a breakdown and just wanted to be left alone. She did it anyway, she said she couldn't let an event like that pass, despite knowing it would upset the recipient (which it did).

Fond rememberance of an old person dying is all well and good, but there's a certain arrogance to think that acquaintances offering platitudes brings any comfort to a devastated family.

lawred2

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Absolutely not. How honourable is it for people to stand in a queue in solidarity to take a few minutes to pay respect to the deceased and offer some little comfort to the family?
I think it's an Irish custom that should never die.

I'm not sure what honour has to do with it to be honest...

Either way I'm speaking from the perspective of the grieving family shaking hands with a procession of people not the 'honourable' folk who stood in a queue.