Childfree chit chat

Faith

A thread for general chit chat that doesn’t need its own thread

I’m currently renting a new build house that has clearly been designed with children in mind, but it actually makes certain things much harder. Like, the cutlery drawer is hidden inside another drawer. The bigger drawer is clearly designed for saucepans, but the cutlery drawer has no handle so you have to grab it underneath and pull it out. In doing so, you have at least a 50% chance of catching your hand between the cutlery drawer and a saucepan and skinning yourself, just so kids can’t get at the knives :rolleyes: (which they definitely still can because my friend lives in this park and her toddler wasn’t even 2 by the time he figured out how to access the cutlery drawer, so it’s doubly pointless!).

R.D. aka MR.D

I have like a billion nieces and nephews and always get them gifts on their birthdays. God, online shopping for kids clothes when you have zero idea about how kids clothes work is seriously difficult!!

Usually I'd just go into Arnotts and look at something and be like 'that's cute and roughly looks equivalent to their size' and away I go!

I can't wait until they are teenagers and i can just give them money and they will be delighted!

ancapailldorcha

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

I have like a billion nieces and nephews and always get them gifts on their birthdays. God, online shopping for kids clothes when you have zero idea about how kids clothes work is seriously difficult!!

Usually I'd just go into Arnotts and look at something and be like 'that's cute and roughly looks equivalent to their size' and away I go!

I can't wait until they are teenagers and i can just give them money and they will be delighted!

My sister had her first there in February. I really can't be bothered with gifts at all so I can see this causing a row though I do insist that I don't want people getting me anything either.

R.D. aka MR.D

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

My sister had her first there in February. I really can't be bothered with gifts at all so I can see this causing a row though I do insist that I don't want people getting me anything either.

I think that it depends on the family. I always got gifts from my aunts when I was younger and I always appreciated it. But I know loads of my friends who don't cause it is not the done thing in their families.

I also would like to be a positive role model for them so I buy them gifts with a feminist twist or science books or whatever. I come from an extremely traditional family and I'm the black sheep. Even if one of them in their teens feels like there is another option outside rural Ireland within their grasp, I'll be happy. If they fit the role, no big deal, they'll know their auntie thought of them on special occasions.

R.D. aka MR.D

Has anyone seen the film Vivarium?

As a film it is only so-so but I thought the message was interesting!

Neyite

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

My sister had her first there in February. I really can't be bothered with gifts at all so I can see this causing a row though I do insist that I don't want people getting me anything either.

The trick is to be so awful at gift giving, then they'll actually be relieved that Uncle Dorcha forgot or just stuck a fiver in a card.
Kiddie drum kits, anything with flashing lights, repetitive sounds and impossible to turn off or unsafe thus requiring confiscation are also winners. If you do it right in the early years you won't have to even get as far as Grand Theft Auto for a 7 year old.


From about the age of 5 anyway, a Smyths voucher where they can choose their own thing is better if you really cant get out of gift giving.

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

My sister had her first there in February. I really can't be bothered with gifts at all so I can see this causing a row though I do insist that I don't want people getting me anything either.

I typically only get them books but pre-covid I made a day of it and took them to the cinema, book shop, Supermacs etc

I don't buy toys as a rule and any clothes I buy are always too big to allow them to grow into whatever it is

shesty

Sure their parents do that
Have to admit I would not be bothered about who I received kid's presents from, but I would buy them for other kids as necessary just out of common politeness really.

Bit of money in a card, voucher for shoes from Clark's or similar, all just fine if you can't think of specific gifts.

magicbastarder

i actually enjoy shopping for presents for the nieces and nephews (and for kids of some close friends).
though one niece and one nephew are at the 'cash rather than the present' point now.

ancapailldorcha

magicbastarder wrote: »

i actually enjoy shopping for presents for the nieces and nephews (and for kids of some close friends).
though one niece and one nephew are at the 'cash rather than the present' point now.

Don't know if it's covid or whatever but I've zero energy for this sort of thing and can't be doing with it at all.

Also, gyms here are open so now there's that. Joy.

Faith

The head of our team at work announced her pregnancy today. It’s great news for her, but our team is already struggling to hold it together as it is, and this is going to cause us massive problems for the period she’s on mat leave, as everything ultimately goes through her.

We may be able to get someone in to cover her, but the chances of getting someone competent are slim to none.

R.D. aka MR.D

Faith wrote: »

The head of our team at work announced her pregnancy today. It’s great news for her, but our team is already struggling to hold it together as it is, and this is going to cause us massive problems for the period she’s on mat leave, as everything ultimately goes through her.

We may be able to get someone in to cover her, but the chances of getting someone competent are slim to none.

At least you have some warning before she heads off. Our place can have a bit of a toxic culture around people getting promoted out etc. and I always say the same thing 'sure they could have been knocked down by a bus and we'd be in the same position.' I see it now even more with COVID, sure any of us could be struck down with COVID and become unavailable to work immediately as we work in person quite a lot.

It is bad management if one person's absence is the end of the world. The main thing might be lobbying now for the additional resources for when she goes. And if your place is anything like ours, plan for her to never come back. The amount of people that go on Mat Leave to never return!

Dial Hard

Oy vey, the gifts. I have ten niblings and it really does feel like an endless carousel of birthdays, communions, confirmations, etc etc. We didn't get gifts from all of our aunts and uncles for every occasion growing up and thought nothing of it so I don't really know how we got into this cycle, tbh. Sometimes I feel like doing a Carrie Bradshaw and registering somewhere really nice to get a "just for me" gift in recognition of the thousands I've spent on presents over the years that will never be reciprocated

bunny_mac

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

And if your place is anything like ours, plan for her to never come back. The amount of people that go on Mat Leave to never return!

This. Or she'll come back just long enough to get pregnant again so she can get mat leave again and *then* she won't come back. In my last place of work there were three women in my office alone who openly admitted to doing this.

R.D. aka MR.D

bunny_mac wrote: »

This. Or she'll come back just long enough to get pregnant again so she can get mat leave again and *then* she won't come back. In my last place of work there were three women in my office alone who openly admitted to doing this.

Yeah it is really something that as a feminist, i know i can't give out about because the work environment can be hostile for working parents but a little part of me resents that all women of a certain age get tarred with the same 'oh she'll be going on mat leave soon, best not give her this juicy role'.

What's a 'nibling ' ?
First time I saw it I thought it was a typo, but I see it in a few posts now, so assume it means something?

Also Starring LeVar Burton

bubblypop wrote: »

What's a 'nibling ' ?
First time I saw it I thought it was a typo, but I see it in a few posts now, so assume it means something?

Nibling = Niece or Nephew (or Gender Neutral Equivalent to Niece/Nephew) ; the offspring of your siblings basically.

pinkypinky

I wholesale adopted it when my sister in law was pregnant. Even once I knew the gender, I still use it.

Dial Hard

Yup, it's been in use since the 50s. In the Oxford dictionary iirc. Collective term for your siblings' children.

Addle

When is all the surplus cash going to appear?!
We’ve no kids and no money 🀷ðŸ»*♀️

R.D. aka MR.D

Addle wrote: »

When is all the surplus cash going to appear?!
We’ve no kids and no money ��ðŸ»*♀️

We're not super well off but definitely better off than our friends with kids. Pre-COVID we were able to afford lots of nice holidays etc.

I have to say, we only noticed that mid-30's though. The struggle was real until then!

I see this really paying off when we hit about 45/50 and they are all sending 3 kids to college and all. We'll be 5 o'clock somewhere-ing on a beach while they are moving boxes into expensive student accommodation. :pac:

Addle

I think the problem might be that we’re spending too much on niblings, as referenced above!

pinkypinky

I think the surplus cash only applies to childfree couples - for us singletons, it's just a lifetime of being penalised for not conforming on 2 levels!!

bunny_mac

pinkypinky wrote: »

I think the surplus cash only applies to childfree couples - for us singletons, it's just a lifetime of being penalised for not conforming on 2 levels!!

Too right!!

I'm single and I have to say I love having my money to myself!
Maybe that sounds bad, I'm not mean or anything like it. I am very generous and help out family and friends when I can, What I mean is not having to share or decide about budgets etc with someone else!
I live where I want to, I have bought and sold a couple of houses, all without anyone else's input.
I buy what I want when I want to and I go where I want. I never have to justify anything!
It's great

R.D. aka MR.D

bubblypop wrote: »

I'm single and I have to say I love having my money to myself!
Maybe that sounds bad, I'm not mean or anything like it. I am very generous and help out family and friends when I can, What I mean is not having to share or decide about budgets etc with someone else!
I live where I want to, I have bought and sold a couple of houses, all without anyone else's input.
I buy what I want when I want to and I go where I want. I never have to justify anything!
It's great

This is amazing. I obviously love my husband but constantly having to factor someone else into your decisions is annoying. It also adds an additional level of worry about different things, worrying about them and their stuff on top of your own. I'm fairly used to having to factor him into my decision making but thankfully as an adult he has his own agency. Being married has definitely confirmed to me that if I were to have children, I'd be a worry filled, guilt ridden mess!

Less fuss the better!!

ancapailldorcha

bubblypop wrote: »

I'm single and I have to say I love having my money to myself!
Maybe that sounds bad, I'm not mean or anything like it. I am very generous and help out family and friends when I can, What I mean is not having to share or decide about budgets etc with someone else!
I live where I want to, I have bought and sold a couple of houses, all without anyone else's input.
I buy what I want when I want to and I go where I want. I never have to justify anything!
It's great

Same here though I prefer to adopt a policy of semi-detachment when it comes to family who I only normally see twice a year. I'm not interested in buying or receiving gifts at all so I prefer to just not bother on that front. Love having my own freedom though I'd prefer a place of my own in which to enjoy said freedom.

ChannelNo5

bubblypop wrote: »

I'm single and I have to say I love having my money to myself!
Maybe that sounds bad, I'm not mean or anything like it. I am very generous and help out family and friends when I can, What I mean is not having to share or decide about budgets etc with someone else!
I live where I want to, I have bought and sold a couple of houses, all without anyone else's input.
I buy what I want when I want to and I go where I want. I never have to justify anything!
It's great

I love elements like not being accountable to anyone else for your spending. on the other hand, I've only just bought a place and i must say id have loved to have a significant other to help make decisions about some things. Like when you decide that you don't like the washing machine you paid 500 euro for. You need someone to blame!!

twiddleypop

ChannelNo5 wrote: »

I love elements like not being accountable to anyone else for your spending. on the other hand, I've only just bought a place and i must say id have loved to have a significant other to help make decisions about some things. Like when you decide that you don't like the washing machine you paid 500 euro for. You need someone to blame!!

I've discovered since I started living by myself I'm messier than I thought and no longer have a housemate/partner to blame for the state of the place...

So grateful to have had my own place during lockdown though.

bunny_mac

twiddleypop wrote: »

I've discovered since I started living by myself I'm messier than I thought and no longer have a housemate/partner to blame for the state of the place...

So grateful to have had my own place during lockdown though.

Oh god me too. I don't think I could have coped living with someone else during lockdown.

Addle

bunny_mac wrote: »

Oh god me too. I don't think I could have coped living with someone else during lockdown.

So much. It was a make or break time. And if I ever had any doubts about my life decisions, I know now for sure that I’ve done the right thing for me.