Why are you Childfree?

MrVestek

When people ask me this question from now on... I'll just be showing them this picture:

ancapailldorcha

I know the name of the forum emphasis choice but I've always been single and living in London, I can't afford a place of my own. I share with six other adults at the moment. I think doing this for years has led me to treasure my own space and my free time.

I think now, even if I met someone and got married I wouldn't want to go any further. I believe that it's quite likely that I'd change my mind if I did have children it's one hell of a gamble. At the very least, I'd want to be in a stabe relationship and in a good home with a sound financial base to even consider it. I'm in my early thirties and I think that if the opportunity never presents itself, I don't seriously think I'd regret never having had children. The argument of who'll look after me when I'm old carries a bit of weight but since I emigrated, there's no guarantee that my hypothetical offspring wouldn't do so.

My own father is getting on and has no interest in doing too many things for himself if he can have others do them for him. The thought of having to go back to babysite him long term is something I wouldn't countenance and thankfully my siblings are still at home. I hate the thought of myself just sitting there being a burden on people and thus have no interest in doing so.

secondrowgal

I remember being in school, about 16 or so, and one of my friends planning her wedding and how many kids she was going to have. She turns to me and says "how many kids do you want?". I had never even thought about it before, and out comes "none" there and then. Never looked back. Never changed my mind. Never had an inkling to change my mind.

Did have a little Ard Fheis with myself around 38 to check in as the ol' biological clock was ticking away and still nope.

Happy out, just myself and my husband.

Mollyb60

When I get asked the question I always respond by saying that I enjoy silence, money and sleep. But honestly I have no maternal instinct at all and never had. I never played with dolls as a child, I never coo'd over babies and having to babysit various siblings and cousins as a young person cemented my choice.
I have a cool nephew and a sweet godson but both myself and my husband are 100% in agreement. We have 2 awesome cats and a wonderful life and no intentions of changing that.

Dial Hard

Because I don't like kids. Pretty simple, really.

MrVestek

Dial Hard wrote: »

Because I don't like kids. Pretty simple, really.

See that's the thing.

For me? I can get down to a kid's level... I can enjoy spending time with them. If they're friends kids or relatives or whatever I put most of my attention on the children in the room to make sure that they feel included in whatever is going on around us.

I mean my flat is a giant playground full of toys, videogames etc. All the stuff that I enjoy / enjoyed from my childhood.

It's not that I don't like kids... I just don't fancy giving up any of my freedom, money or to a certain extent autonomy.

It also looks like the original picture isn't loading anymore... I must fix that.

ancapailldorcha

MrVestek wrote: »

See that's the thing.

For me? I can get down to a kid's level... I can enjoy spending time with them. If they're friends kids or relatives or whatever I put most of my attention on the children in the room to make sure that they feel included in whatever is going on around us.

I mean my flat is a giant playground full of toys, videogames etc. All the stuff that I enjoy / enjoyed from my childhood.

It's not that I don't like kids... I just don't fancy giving up any of my freedom, money or to a certain extent autonomy.

It also looks like the original picture isn't loading anymore... I must fix that.

One of the last memories I have of the period leading up to lockdown was a trip to the Museum of London. It's well worth a visit. Specifically, I was in the early Roman section of the place when this chap with three kids appears. They were all quite young. He had a large pram for two and the third was able to walk. He was clearly overwhelmed by trying to keep an eye on them as they each did their level best to get away from him. And this was a Saturday, ie recreation & relaxation time.

As I said, I'm childfree by circumstance as opposed to by choice. Dating involves far too much subjectivity. I think I've gone native as regards my free time and have been "spoiled" as a result. I think men have their own "clock" as I can't see too many women of childbearing age fancying me in my forties so, yeah. I'm completely fine with having this much freedom.

Captainsatnav

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/116898590#Comment_116898590

You legend. Thanks for sharing