When are you finished having kids?

mojesius

In 37 with a 7 month old boy and 3 year old girl and we are DONE. Delighted with the two of them, but Jesus I can't think straight most of the time. I still get the odd 'weeping womb' moment when I think about having another but it's pure hormones rather than anything else.

Both pregnancies I suffered awful non-stop migraines, couldn't do it again and I'm just getting my body back (albeit with deflated boobs) and couldn't physically go through it again.

Antares35

mojesius wrote: »

In 37 with a 7 month old boy and 3 year old girl and we are DONE. Delighted with the two of them, but Jesus I can't think straight most of the time. I still get the odd 'weeping womb' moment when I think about having another but it's pure hormones rather than anything else.

Both pregnancies I suffered awful non-stop migraines, couldn't do it again and I'm just getting my body back (albeit with deflated boobs) and couldn't physically go through it again.

Weeping womb I think we are done after this one too. I'll be 38 with a 16 month old and a 2 month old. Christ I'm already half cracked and the second isn't even here yet... I wouldn't mind a third if it just sort of arrived by itself, but the thoughts of another pregnancy just make me panic. I'm so susceptible to hormonal changes that even the mini pill makes me borderline psychotic. Have never been able to take the pill longer than a week. So pregnancy with its 40 weeks of hormones can just take a hike after this. I would genuinely fear for my mental health and how it would affect my partner, our relationship and the impact on my babies

shesty

It will be a tough first year Antares, but keep telling yourself it will pass.Because it will.Go easy on yourself, really :-)

The Mighty Quinn

Antares35 wrote: »

So pregnancy with its 40 weeks of hormones can just take a hike after this. I would genuinely fear for my mental health and how it would affect my partner, our relationship and the impact on my babies

I'm only the dad here, but honestly the way the pregnancies have gone, I don't know if our relationship could survive another.

There was a pregnancy, miscarriage, d&c, pregnancy, baby, pregnancy, baby, all within about 32 months. Oh and covid arriving weeks after arrival of first baby. My poor wife needs a break. A lot of highs and lows there, it has been tough on the marriage at times.

Antares35

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

I'm only the dad here, but honestly the way the pregnancies have gone, I don't know if our relationship could survive another.

There was a pregnancy, miscarriage, d&c, pregnancy, baby, pregnancy, baby, all within about 32 months. Oh and covid arriving weeks after arrival of first baby. My poor wife needs a break. A lot of highs and lows there, it has been tough on the marriage at times.

That's tough going, baby losses are heartbreaking.

Congratulations on the little ones. Pandemic babies will be the toughest when they're grown

tHE vAGGABOND

.... honestly the way the pregnancies have gone, I don't know if our relationship could survive another.

That is another part of it, that is not often spoken about. The whole "trying" part of getting a baby; the whole marks on a calendar when "it" needs to happen - after days, weeks, months, years [and maybe this is just me] after years and years - it gets really really old - and is a huge relationship strain.

But after a miscarriage and late term losses, a few goes of IVF and 7 odd years years of trying over and over. So yes, we do have number 2 due any day now [and that is amazing] - but even mention ovulation sticks and something like the sperm to egg plan to me and I shall be using a lot of "unparliamentary language"

JimmyVik

tHE vAGGABOND wrote: »

That is another part of it, that is not often spoken about. The whole "trying" part of getting a baby; the whole marks on a calendar when "it" needs to happen - after days, weeks, months, years [and maybe this is just me] after years and years - it gets really really old - and is a huge relationship strain.

But after a miscarriage and late term losses, a few goes of IVF and 7 odd years years of trying over and over. So yes, we do have number 2 due any day now [and that is amazing] - but even mention ovulation sticks and something like the sperm to egg plan to me and I shall be using a lot of "unparliamentary language"

I can relate.

Sex just became a mark on a calendar for a good few years and has never been the same for me since.
We had 4 miscarriages, then 5 rounds of IVF all with miscarriages, then went through the adoption process which is basically a huge effort to tell you that its nearly impossible to adopt in Ireland. Then about a year after we gave up hope, we had another pregnancy with twins. Lost one though, but one survived and have a lovely child now at school. OH nearly died during the birth. And then after that told not to try again by doctors, because it is too dangerous to my OH.

mojesius

Antares35 wrote: »

Weeping womb I think we are done after this one too. I'll be 38 with a 16 month old and a 2 month old. Christ I'm already half cracked and the second isn't even here yet... I wouldn't mind a third if it just sort of arrived by itself, but the thoughts of another pregnancy just make me panic. I'm so susceptible to hormonal changes that even the mini pill makes me borderline psychotic. Have never been able to take the pill longer than a week. So pregnancy with its 40 weeks of hormones can just take a hike after this. I would genuinely fear for my mental health and how it would affect my partner, our relationship and the impact on my babies

That's tough going! Sending you good wishes, pregnancy hormones can play havoc with your life. The bath became my saviour during the last few months, I was in it every night !

I found the first 6 months after my second baby quite hard going. Lockdown after lockdown, moving home when he was 6 weeks old, and genuinely fcuking exhausted from being cooped up with bored toddler for months over the winter and the joy of recurring mastitis. Things are so much easier since baby is on solids and more active.

And they are best pals now that he's a bit older, it's the best feeling in the world watching their interactions and genuine love for each other. I think we are all done here with two. My mam asked my toddler a while back if she'd like another baby in the house and she said, very definitely "NO".