am i crazy change a house

amIcrazyhouse

background: we both in mid 30s and recently get married.

I bought a house few years ago alone, before we together, it's a small house, in one of the best Dublin suburb, currently market value is around 600k.

we lived in this house together in the last 3 years.

From the beginning till now, he gave me 1000 very month. (before he rented with someone, the rent is 900.)
I do all the grocery shopping etc. This 1000 almost cover it. I manage the house mortgage and all the bills myself.

He never mentioned help me clear the existing mortgage or buy the half share something like that, but i don't mind in current situation, i love him.
We lived very happy and very comfortable under this situation, no any financial issue at all.

---

We got married few months ago,
and I just realise he has decent savings.
So I start thinking about change for a bigger house. We plan to have a child very soon. Bigger house will give us much more comfortable.

In the last few days, I notice there has a very very nice house in our area, 1.1 million.
So we had this formal conversation tonight.

I suggest I sell mine house to get 600k, he contributes 200k saving, for some reason he can not get mortgage at the moment, but i have a wealth family friend may help for the rest 300k.

We borrow the 300k loan from my family friend, let's say we pay around 2500 per month i think he can manage it easily. For the worse case, I can help if sometime he can not.

((( i think i need to say his background, he is self employed now, doing stocks now, has roughly 600k after tax in his account now. He works hard, wants retire soon.
That's why i suggested he contributes 200k, one of third, cash out some money is safe and reasonable at this stage when you have 600k all in stock, and image if I don't have this house, he need buy the house anyway?

He said buy a house for 1.1 million is crazy.
And get upset and angry for my recent action - I started looking around 2/3 weeks ago, he knows me searching house, and we always joking with each other doing a dream.
Wednesday, I arrange the viewing for this 1.1 million house, before we go, he told me we are not going to buy it, i said yeah we just have a look. After the viewing I really like the house, yesterday i started talking about want to buy this together. He said I drive him crazy... I know how intense dublin housing market. We can pay booking deposit, then think about it more, i don't want loose it.....

Am i crazy????
I feel so upset and disappointed. I can not make decision alone anymore, in the same time i hate myself, why i don't have more money myself so i don't need his contribution can change a big house.....

jimmycrackcorm

This seems to be more a relationship or personal issue than an accommodation one.

You both have different views on the value of property and I can understand why he might think it's crazy to spend so much money on a house.

You'd be better off sitting down and have a proper discussion about your assets, you have your existing house and he has money.

You need to see where the middle ground is first.

Graham

Mod Note

OP please don't post the same thread in multiple forums.

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