Have you ever fallen out with a friend?

freshpopcorn

As a guy, I haven’t really. I may have drifted apart from people but that was it. If we bumped into one another we’d get on fine.
One friend I did find a bit tiresome. He really cared about appearance, designer brand, trying to be somebody else, sort of ashamed to be seen with certain people, he was just a bit tough going.


Have you ever fallen out with a friend?

Drifted apart from several in teenage years, everyone evolves differently as they mature and motivations/interests change. All part of the course, a salute and quick natter the height of it now. Seldom fallen out with anybody, patched up with one and left another in the past. No regrets, life is too short to harbour guilt.

Antares35

Currently consider excising one from my life, but will do it as a fade out rather than a row I think. He's just become an utter self absorbed bore, constantly bleating on about the same two issues but refusing to take any constructive advice on board. There's only so many times in ten years you can have the same conversation.

Church on Tuesday

Yes, for good legitimate reasons.

I may give the benefit of the doubt once but after that I have no problem getting rid. Gone.

Some friendships run their course because you grow and develop into different people which is fairly natural. Sometimes the interest simply isn't there anymore.

As mentioned above, mainly drifted away and went our seperate ways as we grew up. One friend completely blanked me for years and then wrote to me one night when he was well oiled on the sauce and said that it was all me and he was so angry he never mentioned it or called me out on it. Mind boggling.

As I got older I realized that while I was "friendly" with loads of people it was mainly through circumstance, school, college, work, and when that circumstance was removed, I found we were not really friends and drifted apart.

I have about 5 good friends, and the friendships have survived arguments.

Hyperbollix

Yeah, I fell out with my best mate when we were at college. Looking back on it at this stage, it was silly enough, but I was pig headed and just thought "fúck him, I've loads of pals"

Only with a bit of maturity and plenty of knocks in life did I realize that he was a good guy and I should have patched it up at the time. Too much water under the bridge now, those pair of kids are long gone.

Burt Renaults

Just the once. He knocked me off my bike for no reason, so I knocked him off his bike. And then he went home and told his mother. So I went home and told my mother. And then both our mothers dragged us back outside and made us apologise to each other.

I remember it well. I was twenty-eight years old.

Meeoow

InitialG wrote: »

As mentioned above, mainly drifted away and went our seperate ways as we grew up. One friend completely blanked me for years and then wrote to me one night when he was well oiled on the sauce and said that it was all me and he was so angry he never mentioned it or called me out on it. Mind boggling.

Same happened me. She cooled off on me, so I took the hint. Woke up one morning to a message she sent when she was pissed. So we were sort of talking again. Then she cooled off again. I realised that it had been her birthday and I didn't wish her happy birthday. I'd completely forgotten and we hadn't been in contact for 10 years. So if she contacts me again pissed, I'll not be replying.

Tell me how

Yes. I was his boss and we didn't see eye to eye in how he should do his job.
Fall out was pretty rough, he made sure not to invite me to his wedding even though all the difficult conversations we had were in a work context. The friendship had broken down by then to be fair but that left no doubt as to where he saw it.
If I was back in the same place again, would I do anything differently? Probably just wouldn't become friends in the first place which is a pretty cold path by way to live your life.

Tell me how

Separately 3 friendships didn't survive my having depression. Only one of them hurts me but I still think about it frequently.

I don’t give anyone a second chance to mess me about so I’ve ended any of them by just blanking them.

Meeoow

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

I don’t give anyone a second chance to mess me about so I’ve ended any of them by just blanking them.

Same here, now I've no friends left.

I have. It's a sad thing I feel because to me friendships are special. When I was in my late teens and twenties I was close to a group of girls. Due to my own issues we aren't friends anymore. It wasn't an obvious falling out but a drifting apart due to my behaviours.

Nowadays I try very hard to hold on to the few friends that I have. I love female friendships, love the energy of being around other women and having chats. If it wasn't for my job I'd rarely speak or be in the company of another woman.

That's partly to do with Covid. One very good friend has been living in the UK the last few years. We'd see each other every time she came home. I miss that but we do keep in touch regularly. My other friend is my oldest, 20 years in my life. She can be......I don't know. There's an awful lot going on in her life and I do love her. There are buts.

Then I have two male friends who are decent skins.

If I were to have a Hen I'd be inviting 3 people one of whom wouldn't attend. That's a bit sad.


*went a bit off track there*

Church on Tuesday

Meeoow wrote: »

Same here, now I've no friends left.

Rather have no friends than fake friends. I'm happy out in my own company best of times anyway.

I think when we are younger, we tolerate bull**** more because we don't want to be left out or alone, which is natural enough, but as one gets older and more independent, relationships etc, that becomes less of an issue.

In any event as you get older it's more acquaintances you acquire rather than true friendships in the main.

Meeoow

Meeoow wrote: »

Same here, now I've no friends left.

You get to a certain age where they’re unimportant anyway.

gifted

Had two very good friends in secondary school and for a few years afterwards but slowly got squeezed out as my face didn't fit their new girlfriends lifestyle....hence I got invited to one of their weddings and I was never contacted again after that. Gone, no calls, nothing.
It has affected my ability to let people get really close to me and I tend to let any people drift out of my life fairly easy .

Porklife

Yes and it was entirely my fault but thankfully he has forgiven me and we're closer than ever.
I got really hammered one night and started giving him a hard time about something he'd done that's none of my business.
He basically has a child who he never sees. The child is the result of a one night side and he has chosen to not be part of her life. He pays maintenance but that's it.
I started in on him about what an asshole he is and I wouldn't let up.
He didn't speak to me for about 6 months and ignored all my apologies.
I'm glad we've made up. Friendships are so precious to me and i was so upset that I'd almost lost this one.

Church on Tuesday

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Rather have no friends than fake friends. I'm happy out in my own company best of times anyway.

I think when we are younger, we tolerate bull**** more because we don't want to be left out or alone, which is natural enough, but as one gets older and more independent, relationships etc, that becomes less of an issue.

In any event as you get older it's more acquaintances you acquire rather than true friendships in the main.

Exactly, you become more comfortable in your own skin and feel less inclined to put up with shenanigans that drain your energy. Have a solid circle of friends that I keep at safe orbit, at the same time can walk into any bar and strike up a random conversation. Several of these have become acquaintances, something pleasant about a light natter without anything at stake. At the end of the day, the most trustworthy and reliable person is yourself.

Leg End Reject

A small number of close friends now and a few acquaintances of varying importance. That's just the reality of life as an adult.

As a teenager, my friends were the centre of my universe and I have such fantastic memories of days spent together and all the mad nights out. Then we grew up, our lives went in separate directions and men came and went.

It's harder to make friends as an adult, but we only need a few close ones who know and accept us for who we are. At least the weight of peer pressure and the need to conform and please disappeared, so I'm more comfortable being the real me.

Antares35

The "friends" I had as a teen from school were, with the exception of two, really a bunch of insufferable cows. Never knew if it was a private school thing or they were just morons and would have been like that anyway. Total snobs that I couldn't wait to get away from. I can see from my one or two remaining friends that I'd be connected with on social media that all of these are still cliquey and hang out together. I wonder are they still the same. I've moved on a thousand times and couldn't even imagine having anything to say to them anymore! Aside from maybe hey stop being mean to other people just to make yourself feel better.

shreko

Yep, ended my friendship with one of my lifelong friends a few years ago. She was just becoming way too hard work, very selfish and constantly hurting me and a couple of our other friends. After a number of awful events I decided I was finished with her. We had a couple of arguments/conversations to try and resolve it but the interest just wasn’t there on my side anymore.
It was really difficult though and I was sad for a good while afterwards. I’d say it took me about two years before I was totally ok with it. It felt like a proper break up!
But I’m so relieved now not to be friends with her anymore. Just constant drama and upset.
Sometimes you need hindsight to see just how bad a situation was and how much better you are without it.

corner of hells

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I have. It's a sad thing I feel because to me friendships are special. When I was in my late teens and twenties I was close to a group of girls. Due to my own issues we aren't friends anymore. It wasn't an obvious falling out but a drifting apart due to my behaviours.

Nowadays I try very hard to hold on to the few friends that I have. I love female friendships, love the energy of being around other women and having chats. If it wasn't for my job I'd rarely speak or be in the company of another woman.

That's partly to do with Covid. One very good friend has been living in the UK the last few years. We'd see each other every time she came home. I miss that but we do keep in touch regularly. My other friend is my oldest, 20 years in my life. She can be......I don't know. There's an awful lot going on in her life and I do love her. There are buts.

Then I have two male friends who are decent skins.

If I were to have a Hen I'd be inviting 3 people one of whom wouldn't attend. That's a bit sad.


*went a bit off track there*

S'okay , we'll all go to your hen , im male but ive a nice summer frock.

Antares35

I've a friend I'm thinking of distancing from, but a bit torn about it. Basically she's nice enough when she's sober, but when she drinks she turns into an absolute poltergeist. I'm talking literally making you ashamed to be with her. We will be having a nice night, meal and few drinks whatever (pre covid) and then she will get this look and I know when that happens that she's just spoiling for an argument and no matter how much you try to sidestep it or walk on eggshells, she will find a way to flip things on their head and just go crazy. It's like she just has this switch and when it's triggered she becomes a monster.

She threw me out of her house one morning at 2am. We'd been out and had a nice night, I'd left my car at hers and we'd agreed I'd stay over and drive to work from there the next day. Even now I don't know what set her off, she just went berserk.

It's so bad that OH doesn't like me seeing her on my own (when drink is involved) and we've already discussed whether we even want her at our wedding..it's a tricky one because I've been friends with her since we were babies, but I genuinely think there's a good chance she'd ruin my wedding after getting a fill of wine

But it's hard because when she's sober she's the sweetest person..I don't know which is the real her!

helimachoptor

Have 3 really good friends from school, just about 30 years of friendship, a few arguments along the way, one period of not talking a bit to one guy, but we both wanted it resolved, had a direct conversation and it's been fine since then.

Didn't make any long term friends in college, mainly because I didn't like my course. One friend from an early job and made a few other good friends along the way. I count myself lucky tbh.

Wife's friends have all either moved abroad or move back to their counties, I know she feels the lack of their phycial presence some times.

Aglomerado

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend I'm thinking of distancing from, but a bit torn about it. Basically she's nice enough when she's sober, but when she drinks she turns into an absolute poltergeist. I'm talking literally making you ashamed to be with her. We will be having a nice night, meal and few drinks whatever (pre covid) and then she will get this look and I know when that happens that she's just spoiling for an argument and no matter how much you try to sidestep it or walk on eggshells, she will find a way to flip things on their head and just go crazy. It's like she just has this switch and when it's triggered she becomes a monster.

I had a friend like that. He is married to a very good friend of mine and they are together about 20 years.
He never made much of a go of getting a full time job as he got a substantial amount of money as a gift from his parents. Gradually he went from working part time to not at all and then just drinking all the time, even in the morning. He also has 3 convictions for drink driving.
Sober he is a lovely fellow but drunk it's a different story. He is not violent but his words are, to me and his wife. Nights out and dinners in were often ruined while he would stand up, unlit fag in one hand and a can of cheap lager in another and berate whoever was in his firing line that night. It became so frequent I stopped visiting but remained friends at a distance only for his wife's sake as she was upset we weren't all getting on.
He would message me and then become nasty and accuse me of ignoring him if I didn't reply immediately.
Other friends distanced themselves from him. About 18 months ago I met one of them in the pub and had a few friendly pints. I mentioned this in passing to his wife who let it slip to him.
He immediately messaged me with a tirade saying he would not 'associate' with me anymore because I'd been seen out with the other lad.
I messaged him back saying 'no change so, I don't associate with drunken bullies.' and blocked him on all channels.
Still very good friends with his wife (she has known me longer than she has know him) but since lockdown we can only meet at my house. I only talk to her about him if she wants to, otherwise he no longer exists for me.

branie2

No

corner of hells

Antares35 wrote: »

I've a friend I'm thinking of distancing from, but a bit torn about it. Basically she's nice enough when she's sober, but when she drinks she turns into an absolute poltergeist. I'm talking literally making you ashamed to be with her. We will be having a nice night, meal and few drinks whatever (pre covid) and then she will get this look and I know when that happens that she's just spoiling for an argument and no matter how much you try to sidestep it or walk on eggshells, she will find a way to flip things on their head and just go crazy. It's like she just has this switch and when it's triggered she becomes a monster.

She threw me out of her house one morning at 2am. We'd been out and had a nice night, I'd left my car at hers and we'd agreed I'd stay over and drive to work from there the next day. Even now I don't know what set her off, she just went berserk.

It's so bad that OH doesn't like me seeing her on my own (when drink is involved) and we've already discussed whether we even want her at our wedding..it's a tricky one because I've been friends with her since we were babies, but I genuinely think there's a good chance she'd ruin my wedding after getting a fill of wine

But it's hard because when she's sober she's the sweetest person..I don't know which is the real her!

You're getting married? I didn't get an invite.. some friend you are.

cena

Yes, a work friend. I was just after having an accident at the workplace so going through a rough patch. I must have said something she didn't like because I have never heard back from her. Ten years now.

I have sent a few emails since and nothing

Strumms

Fell out with one when we were about 16 ... we’d been friends since we were 3 , he was a neighbor and classmate, but he changed schools to a private school on the assistance of his parents for the leaving cert, money wasted, he didn’t achieve , we drifted.. he always thought himself to be an achiever, he was an intelligent, nice lad and good from an academic point of view but a clutz socially all be it a good sportsman... he ended up disappearing to Belvedere then disappearing up his own ring personally, and became a loner...

We ended up working in the same industry for companies that did business with each other... he’d be on the phone to me in a heartbeat looking for a favor but the odd time I or a colleague might have appreciated the same from his end or (we contracted his company) even that he did his job to meet our contracted deadlines sometimes, problems... to the point after the 20th time i reported the cünt...his colleagues were brilliant but...him.. hmmm. Weirdo.

Conor Bourke

Yes, with someone I’d known for almost 30 years but for legitimate reasons we didn’t speak for a few years.

I thought about them from time to time, moreso than usual one weekend last year and I was just about to reach out to them but changed my mind.

Woke up the following Monday morning to hear they’d taken their own life.

grassylawn

Like a beast with his horn I have torn everyone who reached out for me.

I suppose my insistence on listening to music that glorifies gloom has probably contributed to it.

Nobody I wasn't ****ing in about twelve years. Lots of people before that though, usually my fault or mainly my fault.

It actually gets me down a bit.

Nigel Fairservice

I have two close friends that I've been friends with for years who I'd be in regular contact with. Had a brief disagreement with one of them a good few years ago now but we got over it very quick.

I've had a lot of friends of circumstance over the years. I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people though. I meet up with some of them every so often and we just pick up where we left off. I might not see or hear from them for a few months but I don't mind. I like my own company most of the time so it suits me.

loalae

Yes after college. It was completely my fault. I apologised and she accepted the apology but I could tell she no longer wanted to be around me. I still miss the friendship almost 10 years later.

Antares35

corner of hells wrote: »

You're getting married? I didn't get an invite.. some friend you are.

Another one bites the dust

Drifted, but never fell-out with someone to the point of deciding to cut someone off.

As I get older, the thing I value most about friendship is a mutual ability to tolerate defects in one another. When you are grumpy, so they give you space and then reply with "ru still a moody bitch?" five hours later; that's friendship. It relies heavily on tolerance.

My closest friends are probably my siblings, except we have no choice but to get along. The other friends are people I love just as much. I cannot imagine a situation where we ever fell out in any serious way. I often value those friendships more, because we have no family ties; they take effort and, again, tolerance.

Minor gripes shrink into the background when you love someone, just like a marriage.

I wouldn't judge someone for cutting out a friend, but it is a very drastic step for someone you obviously deeply care about.

Tpcl20

Was good friends with a lad for a few years and then I played in a band with him. Then he made me choose between his projects and the other music I was involved with at the time. I had to walk away at that point and he took it very badly and didn't talk to me for a few years and told everyone I was a prick. I can have a laugh about it with him now when I see him but I'd never get involved with anything he's doing again. It's music, not marriage. He has a reputation anyway as you might imagine of somebody with that much of an ego.

There are a few people I used to be friends with whose lives are completely destroyed by drug addiction. One culminated in a falling out at a party when they were staggering around our house with piss all over them trying to crash somewhere... gave them new pants and put them in a taxi, then texted and said to tell their partner they have a problem and try to get some help. They still call at 3am sometimes looking for a party but I never answer. I would if I thought they had things under control, but afaik the partner still doesn't realise they're about ten grand in debt so I can't really take on all that.

There was also one person from school who got in a relationship with somebody who decided they had to sever all ties with former friends. I was disappointed and fairly concerned about how unhealthy that sounded. Their family appeared to be looking out for them so I just accepted it without much of a fight. I hope they're ok now. I ordered something from their Etsy shop last year as a way of reaching out and they wrote a note to me, but it didn't have a return address so I took that as a sign that they don't need further contact.

Thinking about the lost friendships makes me really appreciate (and miss) the ones that are still ongoing. Working all week at the moment absolutely sucks when you're not seeing friends regularly to act the maggot together and have a laugh.

Hamsterchops

Many years ago I fell out with my best friend, because you see he had become a vegetarian, a very strict vegetarian who was also bringing up his kids as vegetarians too.

One weekend I was visiting, and on the way I had picked up a ham sandwich to eat on the train, sandwich still unfinished I arrived, went inside & put it in his fridge for later!

Oops

He went ape**** and we had a big falling out because I might have contaminated his fridge (and his children) with ham

That was then, we made up a few months later and our friendship survives to this day. Interestingly neither of his kids remained vegetarians when they grew up.

bb1234567

One stands out, was one of my first times ever drinking, back when I was teenager. Went out with a group of friends and a girl who I was quite close with and I know that was interested in me romantically. Anyway, drank an unfortunate amount, got sick ON her. And then if that couldn't get worse apparently was being loud and rude and abusive to her as she helped me out of the club to a taxi. Have no recollection of what I said, and honestly I don't ever really want to know. As it must have been really bad to completely disintegrate a friendship that had no problems for years before then. Her friend even told me she was crying about it when she got home. A few days/weeks later after talking about it a bit she said she forgave me after I apologised about it as much as I could . But we never really spoke or hung out again, ever. Obviously she didn't really forgive it. Still feel bad about it to this day as she was a good friend, and 8 years on I still cringe thinking about what a reckless **** I was for doing that.

Pineapplez56

Was good friends with a guy for years since I was about 16 thought of him pretty highly as someone who had my back and I would of had his too, not a best mate but a good mate in a circle of friends there used to be about 10-20 of us going to festivals and raves and just chilling with each other, but when I found out he had gone off with my then girlfriend.. from her and not him, and he had no problem going around telling others just not me.. broke my heart and trust as I actually thought we were good mates. Needless to say I confronted him about it and he tried to say sorry but I just felt if he was really sorry he’d of told me in the first place and not leave it up to the ex girlfriend to tell me when a few of the friend group knew about it as well, well my trust in people just kind of diminished. Made me realize just how sly some people can be while acting nice to your face as if nothing has happened. **** that dude anyways better off without him and most of that group, this was 8 years ago and I still think about it the odd time, and still see him around sometimes as he avoids me and tries to not make eye contact it’s still awkward but that’s life I suppose. I should say I also hit him a dig in the head when I seen him not long after the confrontation as that was through text message and this was the first time I’d seen him in person. He didn’t even say anything just took it and looked at me with this stupid look on his face as I called him a sly **** and went about my business. Oh well some friends are not really your friends just was a ****ty way to find that out. The only person Iv ever actually fell out with I’m usually cool as a cucumber try to get on with everyone but just couldn’t be mates with someone like that.

mcsean2163

Yes of course. Your opener is weird. What difference does it make if you're a guy?

Church on Tuesday

A Lamb Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Drifted, but never fell-out with someone to the point of deciding to cut someone off.

As I get older, the thing I value most about friendship is a mutual ability to tolerate defects in one another. When you are grumpy, so they give you space and then reply with "ru still a moody bitch?" five hours later; that's friendship. It relies heavily on tolerance.

My closest friends are probably my siblings, except we have no choice but to get along. The other friends are people I love just as much. I cannot imagine a situation where we ever fell out in any serious way. I often value those friendships more, because we have no family ties; they take effort and, again, tolerance.

Minor gripes shrink into the background when you love someone, just like a marriage.

I wouldn't judge someone for cutting out a friend, but it is a very drastic step for someone you obviously deeply care about.

It easy to do once you know they don't care about you.

freshpopcorn

mcsean2163 wrote: »

Yes of course. Your opener is weird. What difference does it make if you're a guy?

In my experience as a fella. Guys don't really fall out, have big burst ups with friends compared to women. I know I'm terrible.

Porklife

freshpopcorn wrote: »

In my experience as a fella. Guys don't really fall out, have big burst ups with friends compared to women. I know I'm terrible.

That's true and i think in some way it's because women care more. I've alot of male friends who i know don't actually like or care about each other that much but they'd happily play football or have a pint together.
Women on the otherhand wouldn't, generally speaking, have a drink with another woman they don't care about.
I'd have male friends of mine say things like..ah what did you expect, Dave's a wanker or similar comments about apparent friends but then you'd see them slapping each other on the back down the pub if * Gerard scored a goal..

* I clearly know nothing about football:p

Hamachi

Porklife wrote: »

That's true and i think in some way it's because women care more. I've alot of male friends who i know don't actually like or care about each other that much but they'd happily play football or have a pint together.
Women on the otherhand wouldn't, generally speaking, have a drink with another woman they don't care about.

I find this very odd and I’m a man. Have a male colleague who’s also sort of a friend through a sport we’re both involved in. He hangs out with a group of his friends from childhood. They go out drinking and away on golf weekends. He’s openly told me that he can’t stand some of the group. I can’t fathom spending that much time with people I don’t particularly like.

Personally, haven’t fallen out with friends. Just drifted apart over the years.

Don’t know if anybody else had this experience, but I never made any friends in school.

I didn’t fall out with anybody and was never bullied or anything like that. I was just never close to anybody in my class and it never even occurred to me to stay in contact as soon as I finished the leaving cert. Is that incredibly weird?

Tzardine

I am no longer in touch with any of my old friends from childhood or school or college.

The older I got the more I realised that I prefer my own company.

Happy in my own skin and with the human contact from my family.

dubstarr

I was ghosted by a friend.
Knew her through work,but she was godmother to my son.

She left me sitting in McDonalds with a 3 month old baby on a freezing October day.

Thought something had happened to her,went home and phoned her.
Then the penny dropped,she'd been hard to get hold of and was being flakey.

When I think back,all the signs where there.
As she had form for it.

zerosugarbuzz

Hamachi wrote: »

I find this very odd and I’m a man. Have a male colleague who’s also sort of a friend through a sport we’re both involved in. He hangs out with a group of his friends from childhood. They go out drinking and away on golf weekends. He’s openly told me that he can’t stand some of the group. I can’t fathom spending that much time with people I don’t particularly like.

Personally, haven’t fallen out with friends. Just drifted apart over the years.

Don’t know if anybody else had this experience, but I never made any friends in school.

I didn’t fall out with anybody and was never bullied or anything like that. I was just never close to anybody in my class and it never even occurred to me to stay in contact as soon as I finished the leaving cert. Is that incredibly weird?

I’d say it not that unusual. I do pity kids today, their relationships can be so superficial, more about Instagram than real life.

shreko

Hamachi wrote: »

I didn’t fall out with anybody and was never bullied or anything like that. I was just never close to anybody in my class and it never even occurred to me to stay in contact as soon as I finished the leaving cert. Is that incredibly weird?

I never made any friends in college... just didnt really click with anyone. Got along with plenty of people but when I left I never spoke to any of them again, other than if I bumped into them on the street.

On the other hand I made lots of good friends in school and am still very good friends with about 6 of them. I guess it just depends on the people.

sportsfan90

I can't say I've ever fallen out with anyone, just friendships have drifted like other's in this thread.

There's one that does get me down though. We were best friends from junior infants up until 16/17, so for maybe 12 or 13 years we were inseparable. As in if someone used see me anywhere, they'd say it was unusual if he wasn't there too.

I went to college then and he didn't. I was conscious that I was meeting a lot of new people, so always invited him to nights out or if I was driving anywhere. Sometimes he came but most times he didn't. I still tried to meet up with him once a week, even if it was just the two of us going for a coffee or to watch a match.

It was all very one-sided though, it was always me contacting him. Sometimes he wouldn't even reply to my texts. He obviously didn't want to be as close anymore, which of course was his right. But going from being best friends for so long to barely any contact was hard to take.

I then had enough of it so decided to stop and see how long it would take for him to contact me. That was 10 years ago and I never heard from him. The only time we talked since then was about 2 years ago I heard he got engaged so I sent a message of congratulations. We exchanged a few pleasantries and I told him next time he's back in our home county to let me know and it would be good to meet up. He said he would, but never did in the end.

It's one that does get me down. He's the best friend that I've ever had so to go from that to being strangers is an awful feeling.

boardlady

I had lots of friends in school and college - as mentioned before, they are your world at that stage of your life. I have a handful of good friends now, but thinking on it, when it comes to talking about the meaningful stuff, I think my husband is really the only one I would depend on. That says more about me than them though I think. I struggle with my in laws ... they are a very tightknit family and I am not in the circle of trust. I have a tiny family and nobody living near me so, without my husband, I would feel very isolated. I don't know why the in laws won't let me in but it ain't happening after all these years. They are the ultimate clique. hurtful if i'm honest. There is nothing outward and an onlooker might be very surprised to hear me say that, but I am the last to be informed of everything. I have drifted from friends in the past when they were annoying me. I hate to actually fall out with anyone. I am a chicken **** in that department.