Girls and OnlyFans

guy2231

Midlife crisis man wrote: »

Lol do you folks think that all cam girls turn to prostitution and can't be in normal loving monogamous relationships?
Most of these people are just Jane Soap your next door neighbour. She'll never know or meet any of these people who are silly enough to pay for it.

So yes, I stand by my backwards mentality comment.

Where did anyone say that?

B.A._Baracus

Grigotbianco wrote: »

Judging by your emotional reaction you care very much.

Ah that old chestnut :pac:
I would also have accepted "whoa, you're so angry" (which is another fav people pull out of their backside on here lol)

But I see youre banned. After 2 posts. Stop me if I am wrong but what kind of sad individual keeps re-reg'ing to a site only to get banned time and time again? :pac:

guy2231

guy2231 wrote: »

Where did anyone say that?

Me. Although he's taking the point to an extreme.. probably because he's unwilling to actually engage in a discussion. Much easier to throw out vague soundbites, and judgments about the posters on the thread.

Quantum Erasure

Deleted User wrote: »

Does onlyfans require direct messages to subscribers, or is it just access to more photos and videos?

Id say you can set it up whatever way you want,

o1s1n

Deleted User wrote: »

Let me ask you this then. Your missus becomes somewhat popular online, where she receive a good amount of attention with a decent bankroll coming from a limited number of subscribers. These limited number of subscribers are where the majority of her cash comes from, and as time goes by, she becomes closer with them, enacting their fantasies, and playing to their needs... and at the same time, these same people are offering her outrageous amounts of money to meet them for something more "real". And since people tend to get bored after a while, they claim they will leave and stop supporting her if she doesn't meet them. Carrot and the switch. Extra money, and the threat of losing regular income.

Now, I'm sure many people in this situation would tell these customers to piss off (in a nice way).. that she values you too much to cheat on you.. but what if she's one of those people who does value money so much more? After all, she knows that she's popular and could quite easily replace you with someone who could provide a better life to her. [You could extend some of the logic shown on this thread, where people shouldn't place so much value on sex, and there being no moral condemnation of her choice to cheat on you.. since it's her choice, and her body]

And once she does it, she finds that it's not so bad, and she does it repeatedly.

The point of all this "backwards mentality" is an understanding of human nature. Does it apply to everyone? Of course not.. however, if you're being in any way honest about the situation, you'll acknowledge that it does apply to many people out there.

Holy slippery slope argument, Batman!

So you think that Onlyfans is a gateway drug to real life prostitution?

Mecrab

My sister's been doing it since last year and the extra income in the family is great. Also I've gotten so much better at photography and videography!

B.A._Baracus

Treetavern wrote: »

You do appear to be angry, you've resorted to name calling. The lady doth protest too much

Ah so you're back Grigotbianco let's see how long it takes ye to get banned this time

But remember how pathetic it is to keep re-reg'in when you sign up next time.

Mecrab

Mecrab wrote: »

My sister's been doing it since last year and the extra income in the family is great. Also I've gotten so much better at photography and videography!

Ewwweweew

Purple is a Fruit

I am a heterosexual woman but I can completely understand how it would be a turnoff. Some people are OK with it - and they might be OK with swinging... private intimacy isn't as much of a concern for them when it comes to sexuality. And cool, that's their business, but it's still fairly niche, and it's not "backwards" to have a mentality that isn't super liberal.

Forcing your view and making assumptions about others is the opposite of liberal. Not being a fan of selling your body and sexuality (even though by choice, even if good money) is just a preference. A view of sexuality as something more private. It's not stopping those who do Onlyfans.

Purple is a Fruit

Treetavern wrote: »

Each to their own.

Which also includes those who have reservations about it.

Rikand

Mecrab wrote: »

My sister's been doing it since last year and the extra income in the family is great. Also I've gotten so much better at photography and videography!

At least you didnt say acting :pac:

Mister Vain

Mecrab wrote: »

My sister's been doing it since last year and the extra income in the family is great. Also I've gotten so much better at photography and videography!

I'd say you're fairly good at erecting your tripod.

o1s1n

o1s1n wrote: »

Holy slippery slope argument, Batman!

So you think that Onlyfans is a gateway drug to real life prostitution?

Of course it is. I stated a reason why it could be.. do you suggest that the scenario I proposed is unlikely to happen? (taking into context of the entire post)

CB19Kevo

My view on this admittedly is driven by a mix of jealousy and disgust.

Jealousy that some are making "easy money" for presenting themselves!

Disgust that this is the way we have moved as a society. The TikTok Generation..

Of course maybe i should be more accepting and applaud these creators for being able to recognize and exploit a gap in the market and making serious coinage.

Ultimately whilst i rightly can express my views on this it is up to each individual to make a decision on what's right for them.
No way would i engage in a relationship with someone creating that type of content though!

Vestiapx

Midlife crisis man wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it in my eyes. Of course I'd date someone who is active on that site. It's not as if she's off riding every Tom, Dick and Harry. It's a solo show. I would have no problem if people are in their own homes cranking one off to her. At the end of the day it's me who would be sharing the bed with her. The backwards mentality of some people in here is astounding.

I don't think it's a solo show ? Why what I've been told the girls have sex on cam and there have been hook ups between rated male and rated female "stars". I'm probably wrong because while I enjoy the fact porn is now available for me whenever I like I have not felt the need to pay for it since I used to buy Playboy.

Quantum Erasure

I dunno, but I think OnlyFans is just providing the platform, anything that happens after that is up to the individual,....

Although in this instance it's not a case of you're just paying for her time, you pay more you get more, or if you want to make more money, you got to offer more content

StringerBell

Mecrab wrote: »

My sister's been doing it since last year and the extra income in the family is great. Also I've gotten so much better at photography and videography!

Top 3 post of the thread right here

Well played sir

Pawwed Rig

YellowLead wrote: »

I’m curious as to what types of guys subscribe.
I’m imagining a lot ore married or in long terms and bored but don’t want to cheat. The rest are guys who can’t get women in real life presumably?

Anyone who likes porn I would have thought. I am pretty sure the demographic of porn users isn't confined to bored married blokes and incels. Although they do most likely make up a percentage of the total

Ruggabugga101

Can't say I'd be happy of it was my Mrs but each to their own I suppose.

OF like Instagram etc and people big money on it (compared to their previous jobs), that's not going to last for ever so hope they're being smart with it.

As for those who subscribe, can't understand why you'd pay for porn, there's enough free stuff out there (well for me anyway). A subscription sounds like some sort of drug.

Someone mentioned OF use exploding during the pandemic (a bit like pornotube). Maybe that will come down when things return to normal?

Gangbangs etc are a favourite genre of mine, can't imagine there's a lot of that on OF lol - I never have problems finding content on my phone.

Pawwed Rig

Ruggabugga101 wrote: »

As for those who subscribe, can't understand why you'd pay for porn, there's enough free stuff out there (well for me anyway). A subscription sounds like some sort of drug.

Ethical reasons maybe? If I was paying for porn I would much rather my money go to the person I am looking at rather than a faceless website.

cloudatlas

Deleted User wrote: »

Ok, I'll ask directly.

Would you approve of, or encourage, a female relative to masturbate in front of strangers for ten euro?

Would you be happy to be in a sexual and intimate relationship with a woman who would make custom videos catering to the whims of people who want to masturbate to her?

It's their business what they want to do with their body.

If you are in a relationship then it becomes something which is a price of admission. You know they are doing this because they make a crazy amount of money, it doesn't involve any contact with others, it's part time, you either deal with it or you leave.

Once you start to try to control the body of someone else then it becomes problematic. Everyone should have autonomy over what they do with their body.

There was a nurse on boards asking for advice because her onlyfans was becoming lucrative and she wanted financial advice because she wanted to stop nursing for a while to focus on the onlyfans. Fair play to her.

KyussB

The moral boundary in the OP is one about trust in a relationship, but people who do OF type work don't cross any moral boundaries as long as everyone is informed when boundaries are established.

People cross moral boundaries in regular jobs and even everyday life all the time, in ways far more worthy of judgement/rejection in terms of respect and as a partner.

Your average landlord who thinks it's ok to charge the highly manipulated 'market rent' - i.e. take a gigantic chunk of someones overall income, just because everyone else is doing it - management/HR holding back wage increases in line with cost of living (including rents etc.), while profits are increasing - everybody who works in a finance role where it takes only 2-3 seconds to Google "*insert company name* + fraud", to see why they shouldn't be worked for etc. (i.e. the majority of people in finance).

People prostitute out their morals/ethics for money all the time (in ways that cumulatively cause gigantic harm to society and the lives of whole generations).

People on OF are doing honest work, where the only moral/ethical ambiguity, isn't about them - it's about whether economic circumstances pressured them into the role - and where the only risk of societal harm, is to themselves.

cloudatlas

cloudatlas wrote: »

It's their business what they want to do with their body.

If you are in a relationship then it becomes something which is a price of admission. You know they are doing this because they make a crazy amount of money, it doesn't involve any contact with others, it's part time, you either deal with it or you leave.

Once you start to try to control the body of someone else then it becomes problematic. Everyone should have autonomy over what they do with their body.

There was a nurse on boards asking for advice because her onlyfans was becoming lucrative and she wanted financial advice because she wanted to stop nursing for a while to focus on the onlyfans. Fair play to her.

You're objectifying women more than anyone else here if you think having a problem with your girlfriend being on onlyfans means you're controlling her body.

Personally, I wouldn't be happy with the messages she'd be receiving and having to send at all hours of the day. Every time she's on the phone, she could be dealing with this stuff. You don't just flick a switch and become a different person for a minute and then switch it off again. They'd be thinking about the next reply etc.

But no, I must be controlling her body if I don't like that.

Purple is a Fruit

cloudatlas wrote: »

It's their business what they want to do with their body.

If you are in a relationship then it becomes something which is a price of admission. You know they are doing this because they make a crazy amount of money, it doesn't involve any contact with others, it's part time, you either deal with it or you leave.

Once you start to try to control the body of someone else then it becomes problematic. Everyone should have autonomy over what they do with their body.

There was a nurse on boards asking for advice because her onlyfans was becoming lucrative and she wanted financial advice because she wanted to stop nursing for a while to focus on the onlyfans. Fair play to her.

Why "fair play to her"? What's to be congratulated? Just because something is liberal/sexual, doesn't mean it's brilliant. I was suspicious of that thread too because I doubt the HSE would be keen about one of its nurses doing porn. And the figures she claimed to be making with this side number while also working full time as a nurse during a pandemic... were impossible.

cloudatlas

Deleted User wrote: »

You're objectifying women more than anyone else here if you think having a problem with your girlfriend being on onlyfans means you're controlling her body.

Personally, I wouldn't be happy with the messages she'd be receiving and having to send at all hours of the day. Every time she's on the phone, she could be dealing with this stuff. You don't just flick a switch and become a different person for a minute and then switch it off again. They'd be thinking about the next reply etc.

But no, I must be controlling her body if I don't like that.

Did the OP's girlfriend ask for permission, no she didn't. He was informed, this is my job and now he has to make a decision, your decision would be to walk away you can't handle it.

Yeah they need to boost their profile in order to generate work. How likely would it be that people would find out that they have a secret account?

Sex work is a legitimate form of work that serves a purpose in our society, I'm not objectifying anyone I'm being realistic.

Purple is a Fruit

I dislike this privileged western notion that sex work is a positive. Sex work around the world - including at times in the Western world - can be horrific. Riddled with abuse, addiction, poverty, squalour and poor health.

OnlyFans and being high-class escorts is safe and by choice but not the full story. And substance abuse can still emerge from the high-class stuff... and how many of those people are already damaged when they embark on that journey.

cloudatlas

cloudatlas wrote: »

Did the OP's girlfriend ask for permission, no she didn't. He was informed, this is my job and now he has to make a decision, your decision would be to walk away you can't handle it.

So black and white. Do you ever discuss things with your partner or do you each just make declarations and the other decides to accept them or end the relationship? That's what you're saying here. Zero nuance. No talk of boundaries and compromise. Straight to the ultimatum.

cloudatlas

Deleted User wrote: »

So black and white. Do you ever discuss things with your partner or do you each just make declarations and the other decides to accept them or end the relationship? That's what you're saying here. Zero nuance. No talk of boundaries and compromise. Straight to the ultimatum.

Did the Op suggest that that's how the conversation went, it sounded as if he was just told a fact about the person.

I've seen this often online in discussions about this or in the comments on Instagram. There's a kind of a strange resentment of women who earn money this way or indeed don't earn money but are just perceived as flaunting their bodies on instagram. There are comments like 'she knows what she's doing' etc., and the tone is very resentful and angry. In it's most extreme manifestation the women have been described as exploiting male desire.

It’s a question of power. People often experience being sexually attracted to someone as if that person has a kind of power over them. For men
rigid strictures of masculinity may dictate that another person’s power over them constitutes a failure of his masculinity, attraction to a woman can be interpreted as a threat posed by that woman, it can for some men of especially weak character who experience it as a distressing humiliation that causes shame and rage. It's clear to me at least that negotiating this situation that the OP describes requires self assurance and respect.

Mister Vain

KyussB wrote: »

The moral boundary in the OP is one about trust in a relationship, but people who do OF type work don't cross any moral boundaries as long as everyone is informed when boundaries are established.

People cross moral boundaries in regular jobs and even everyday life all the time, in ways far more worthy of judgement/rejection in terms of respect and as a partner.

Your average landlord who thinks it's ok to charge the highly manipulated 'market rent' - i.e. take a gigantic chunk of someones overall income, just because everyone else is doing it - management/HR holding back wage increases in line with cost of living (including rents etc.), while profits are increasing - everybody who works in a finance role where it takes only 2-3 seconds to Google "*insert company name* + fraud", to see why they shouldn't be worked for etc. (i.e. the majority of people in finance).

People prostitute out their morals/ethics for money all the time (in ways that cumulatively cause gigantic harm to society and the lives of whole generations).

People on OF are doing honest work, where the only moral/ethical ambiguity, isn't about them - it's about whether economic circumstances pressured them into the role - and where the only risk of societal harm, is to themselves.

Some excellent points here, especially the part in bold. If I found out my partner was a cúnt of a boss and was rude to her staff, that would be a deal breaker. If I found out she was on Onlyfans it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

YellowLead

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Anyone who likes porn I would have thought. I am pretty sure the demographic of porn users isn't confined to bored married blokes and incels. Although they do most likely make up a percentage of the total

Yeah but to pay for it??? If you are single and can get women why pay to look at them playing with themselves via a webcam when you can get that for free with regular porn, or the interaction side of it with a real live woman?

One eyed Jack

Mister Vain wrote: »

Some excellent points here, especially the part in bold. If I found out my partner was a cúnt of a boss and was rude to her staff, that would be a deal breaker. If I found out she was on Onlyfans it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

They’re not great points at all, as they gloss over the quintessential difference between legitimate employment and prostitution - the difference being that in what is regarded as legitimate employment, employees are protected in law, employers have legal obligations to their employees, and if it’s a business providing a service to the public, there are numerous laws which protect the rights of consumers. None of this applies in the context of prostitution.

cloudatlas wrote: »

Sex work is a legitimate form of work that serves a purpose in our society, I'm not objectifying anyone I'm being realistic.

Not with a statement like that you’re not :pac:

KyussB

OF is perfectly legal employment in Ireland - it is legitimate employment.

KyussB

KyussB wrote: »

OF is perfectly legal employment in Ireland - it is legitimate employment.

Grim..

20 years time they won't get the dole unless they've attempted to make a go of the onlyfans..

KyussB

I mean, many dole recipients are made to work for free in internships, and had been for years - is that not significantly more undignified? (neither control of their labour, nor compensation for it...)

Involuntary unemployment generally is a breach of human rights, that is used to drive people to do many undignified things. It's also one of the reasons OF has exploded in use for work, recently.

LMHC

Right lads bit of context its not my partner its me friends partner and he chose to end the relationship. He felt it was digital prostitution and couldn't get past it.

One eyed Jack

KyussB wrote: »

OF is perfectly legal employment in Ireland - it is legitimate employment.

OnlyFans is only the platform, I didn’t say anything about the platform, of which there are many, long before OF was ever a thing. You might as well say Facebook is legitimate employment, it’s equally as meaningless, and there will be many more platforms when people get tired of OF.

You attempted to equate prostitution with what you acknowledge are considered regular jobs on the basis that, and I quote -

KyussB wrote: »

People prostitute out their morals/ethics for money all the time (in ways that cumulatively cause gigantic harm to society and the lives of whole generations).

I don’t think you mean to suggest that anyone in any form of employment is a prostitute, I’m sure there’s another completely logical conclusion I’m missing, but I’m finding it difficult to avoid the obvious conclusion to your argument.

The One Doctor

Purple is a Fruit wrote: »

I dislike this privileged western notion that sex work is a positive. Sex work around the world - including at times in the Western world - can be horrific. Riddled with abuse, addiction, poverty, squalour and poor health.

OnlyFans and being high-class escorts is safe and by choice but not the full story. And substance abuse can still emerge from the high-class stuff... and how many of those people are already damaged when they embark on that journey.

I love what you've done to your ivory tower.

On topic: I wouldn't care if my partner was on OnlyFans. In fact I suggested it to her a few months ago. She wasn't interested (or offended).

BorneTobyWilde

LMHC wrote: »

Right lads bit of context its not my partner its me friends partner and he chose to end the relationship. He felt it was digital prostitution and couldn't get past it.

So he kicked her to the kerb, geez.

guy2231

The One Doctor wrote: »

I love what you've done to your ivory tower.

On topic: I wouldn't care if my partner was on OnlyFans. In fact I suggested it to her a few months ago. She wasn't interested (or offended).

I wouldn't care either if I was banging mindy down the road and she was on onlyfans, I would care if it was my mother, sister, daughter or wife (people I really genuinely care about).

KyussB

One eyed Jack wrote: »

OnlyFans is only the platform, I didn’t say anything about the platform, of which there are many, long before OF was ever a thing. You might as well say Facebook is legitimate employment, it’s equally as meaningless, and there will be many more platforms when people get tired of OF.

You attempted to equate prostitution with what you acknowledge are considered regular jobs on the basis that, and I quote -

I don’t think you mean to suggest that anyone in any form of employment is a prostitute, I’m sure there’s another completely logical conclusion I’m missing, but I’m finding it difficult to avoid the obvious conclusion to your argument.

I used OF as shorthand, but I thought it was clear that I was saying people posting on OF and getting paid for it, is legal - it's legitimate employment.

On the second quote, I was taking this meaning of the word:
" : to devote to corrupt or unworthy purposes : debase prostitute one's talents"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prostitute

LMHC

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

So he kicked her to the kerb, geez.

Yes and I'm considering subscribing to her hahah

LMHC

LMHC wrote: »

Right lads bit of context its not my partner its me friends partner and he chose to end the relationship. He felt it was digital prostitution and couldn't get past it.

Ah well, she's better off.
Hopefully her next fella, I'm sure there's a queue, will be far more secure in himself and their relationship.

Mister Vain

One eyed Jack wrote: »

They’re not great points at all, as they gloss over the quintessential difference between legitimate employment and prostitution - the difference being that in what is regarded as legitimate employment, employees are protected in law, employers have legal obligations to their employees, and if it’s a business providing a service to the public, there are numerous laws which protect the rights of consumers. None of this applies in the context of prostitution.

Who said anything about prostitution? Big difference between working in a brothel and uploading a few raunchy pics/vids in the comfort of your own home. The points Kyuss made are still valid regardless.

YellowLead

bubblypop wrote: »

Ah well, she's better off.
Hopefully her next fella, I'm sure there's a queue, will be far more secure in himself and their relationship.

A queue to bang, not to settle down and have kids with....

patnor1011

9 out of 10 recent music video clips looks like soft porn and singers performing on stage looks like sex workers. Why would anyone be outraged by the thought of their neighborhood deli counter girl making some extra money while she can.
A lot of female or male celebrities "accidentally" released sex tape at some point of their career when they needed some extra money or media attention.

YellowLead

YellowLead wrote: »

A queue to bang, not to settle down and have kids with....

She is on onlyfans is she not? There is no suggestion that she is actually 'banging' anyone is there?
So any secure man wouldn't be worried about her job

YellowLead

bubblypop wrote: »

She is on onlyfans is she not? There is no suggestion that she is actually 'banging' anyone is there?
So any secure man wouldn't be worried about her job

No - but I think a lot of men (as demonstrated by this thread) would not choose to date somebody seriously, as in long term, who is masturbating on command for all and sundry and sexting away with who could be his work colleagues or friends.

An Ri rua

ArtyM wrote: »

I was 12 months into a relationship before I discovered that my partner thought it appropriate to serve tomatoes with fish, so I can understand this.

You really never know the dirty secrets that others can hide.

Was it a plum tomato or a big beef one? It's a strange place to encounter a tomato alright.

guy2231

YellowLead wrote: »

No - but I think a lot of men (as demonstrated by this thread) would not choose to date somebody who is masturbating on command for all and sundry and sexting away with who could be his work colleagues or friends.

I doubt most would care especially men who don't have charm\money\good looks to afford to be fussy.

Most would care if they were going to marry and have kids and it would especially matter to the ones who can afford to be fussy.

The men who have a lot of options generally won't settle down with sluts or OF girls or whatever while the men who don't have many options generally won't care.

One eyed Jack

KyussB wrote: »

I used OF as shorthand, but I thought it was clear that I was saying people posting on OF and getting paid for it, is legal - it's legitimate employment.

On the second quote, I was taking this meaning of the word:
" : to devote to corrupt or unworthy purposes : debase prostitute one's talents"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prostitute

What was clear is that you were talking about prostitution, which is not generally considered a legitimate form of employment.

And that’s even giving the kindest interpretation of what was a fairly flippant post which glossed over the numerous differences between prostitution and regular jobs which influences whether any form of employment is generally regarded as legitimate or not.

I know that OnlyFans isn’t just a platform for adult entertainment, even though that’s become it’s most common association. I know plenty of self-employed and legitimately registered with revenue for tax purposes content creators who produce and publish all sorts of content and media work, that’s why in the context of the thread it was important to make the distinction between the platform, and the form of employment.

Relying on the dictionary definition of words to make a point about exploitation in legitimate forms of employment still doesn’t equate regular jobs with prostitution, which is why I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren’t actually equating legitimate employment with prostitution.