Bedtime routine struggles with bedroom sharers

misc2013

We put our now 3.5 yr old and 6.5yr old into same room as an experiment after they had shared on holidays and the older lad wanted to continue to share when we got back
Also, it freed up the other bedroom as a playroom. Worked out fine for a couple of months with the younger going to bed at 7.00 and older at 7.45. Fast forward and it got harder to settle no. 2 earlier and she was still up and wired by no. 1's bedtime so after battling it a few weeks, we decided that she had outgrown the earlier time and we started putting both down for 7.45. Again, was OK for a short while.... Ish. But fast forward to recent weeks. 3yr old is really hard to settle to sleep by herself. She's a more giddy kid and strong willed. At the stage now that she is awake til 9pm average which I think is too late for both of them. Older chap would naturally be asleep if he got the chance by 8.15/30. He gets upset because he can't get to sleep. She's doing everything from making excuses - I need to wee, I have a sore ear, I'm thirsty, my pjs itch, I'm not cosy, my bedsheets are funny. You get the drift. I have tried the lying down to sleep with her( this is a particular bug bear of mine cos I invariably fall asleep myself on her bed and wake up at 9.30 frustrated with the loss of time and I just want to go back to bed! I've done the plan, the routine, the countdown to mammy going to get her dinner/ do jobs etc and I'll check you later etc. She might be cool with that for 5 mins but invariably will then kick off again and we're back in the thick of it. I can tolerate leaving her whinge a bit only that the older boy gets upset cos he can't sleep. This weekend my plan is to try devise a star chart but I find this a hard one cos the reward is not immediate ie sticker etc happens the morning after rather than there and then. ( kids are motivated by Stickers to an extent).

By the way, we do have a set routine. Bang on bedtime, each take turns with choosing the story, we have a little quiz on story or 2 mins of last news each, couple of mins of cuddles each and that's it. I should be out of the room by 8.15/20. That used to work when it was only my older boy going to bed at 7.45. I suggested to them that we separate them again but both were upset about this as neither wants to go back to being in their own. Any advice welcome.

Marz66

Solidarity. I’d like to hear some replies too.

Have you tried the usual suspects such as ensuring the 3 year old has lots of time outside and physical activity. Baths help some children wind down but not others.

You could try doing a story board of all the steps in the bedtime routine. Have snack and drink to hand.

My 4 year old has recently started going to sleep quicker and I think it’s just down to bring more tired than before - physically back at school, weather nicer so outdoors more, game of tag after dinner before bed.

misc2013

Marz66 wrote: »

Solidarity. I’d like to hear some replies too.

Have you tried the usual suspects such as ensuring the 3 year old has lots of time outside and physical activity. Baths help some children wind down but not others.

You could try doing a story board of all the steps in the bedtime routine. Have snack and drink to hand.

My 4 year old has recently started going to sleep quicker and I think it’s just down to bring more tired than before - physically back at school, weather nicer so outdoors more, game of tag after dinner before bed.

She'd in creche full time so outdoors ALL day. Even the hot weather didn't tire her. I do sometimes wonder if she's over tired but the early bedtimes ran their course and I was getting increasingly frustrated with the bedtime that was taking an hour regardless of the time. I hope she grows out of it. I changed my boy back to his own room and he was delighted. He was the one who originally wanted to share!

Same parenting. Same routines but God, such different wiring!!

shesty

She is going through a major phase there and she knows she has the power!I totally get you being worried about the older child and to be honest, I would move him to his own room at this stage...he has school, she doesn't, and it's a totally different day for him.I would say you are doing everything right but you can't really lay down the law a bit while they are in together because it isn't fair on him.Just draw the line I reckon, once she is in bed that's it (my stock response is "you'll be fine" to everything..).3.5 is a HARD age!!I have 2 girls, the first was never a bedtime problem but the second girl....dear god, the second...she is 5 now, and still will use every trick in the book to prolong bedtime but she knows I have little or no tolerance and once bedtime is finished, we are gone downstairs.The bright evenings are not helping by the way - again never an issue for my first.
It's the child too -my first is a morning person, my second is definitely not, but gets a second wind in the evening.Just keep doing what you are doing and be firm about when bedtime is over and it is time for her to go to sleep.I would move your son, if you haven't already.

misc2013

Moved him back tonite. Pity that the playroom is gone again. Unless she settles and we can revisit.. We've the same holiday plan this summer and they will be sharing for a week again. We'll see. They do enjoy sharing but was getting too disruptive for my little senior infant.

shesty

Probably less of an issue in the holidays when there is no school the next day, and maybe you could revisit the sharing in Sept when it is getting a bit darker in the evenings again.She might be more settled by then too.

fits

Our twins were terrible to get to bed last summer when they were three but once Playschool started they were zonked.

This year they fall asleep between 8 and 9 and up between 6 and 7

They’re in separate rooms though. Will be sharing on hold too. We will see how that goes!