Employer broke my confidence

punisher5112

The op in no way owes anybody an explanation whether it's work colleagues or the security man on the door or delivery driver or whatever.....

The boss the op went to was understanding it seems on the day they confided but beyond that they were more then unprofessional.

It's nobodies and I really mean nobodies business unless the op wants them to know or discloses it themselves to others.


How could anyone be defending this????

I've luckily had no medical issues but I have been on the brink with the type of behaviour where others would be fed information without my knowledge and also things put on me that weren't true or trying to sack on conditions they set out which fell outside even their scope to actually proceed with any disciplinary even though nothing wrong was done,bits an absolute head melter.

In all honesty if I were the op I would be really tipping to the no going back side as all confidence is gone and personal circumstances and health issues are t up for anyone else to discuss such as what happened.

I'd go as far to say they have a very strong case and I would suggest speaking to your doctor and possibly even consider going out on stress from the whole situation.... Now I'm not one for oh sue sue sue etc but sometimes people are given no choice and it really depends on the op whether they would have any trust going back.... I wouldn't

Meeoow

OP, can you go to HR about this?
It is not acceptable for your boss to inform people of your business. You shouldn't have to ask them to keep it to themselves, they should be professional enough to know this.
I believe in karma, and someday, maybe their medical issues will be outed, see how they like it.
In most of my jobs, I have heard bosses and managers discussing employees business, and especially discussing interview candidates. Most of them are very unprofessional, and love gossip and discussing other people's business.

AndrewJRenko

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Totally agree with the first sentence.

But unless you say "medical reasons" or some other plausible reason agreed in advance with the employee, the colleague with just assume it's ok to now be a lazy bint and take a day off every week. And they'll be looking for their day a week off too.

Your proposed reply will destroy team spirit and loyalty VERY quickly.

Unless of course, the other employees, like the vast majority of people on this thread realise that it is none of their business what other employees get up to, and that people are entitled to privacy in their workplace, regardless of what times they work or don't work.

OP - your employer probably breached your data protection rights as well, if you really want to have a go at them.

brightspark

It's not even necessary to tell your employer the details (though it may help them understand the need). But the employer should certainly never share that information without clear permission.

Sure colleagues might ask...and should be told "personnel reasons, please respect their privacy and remember yours will also be respected"

the14thwarrior

The manager was wrong, and made a really bad decision. Maybe they just made an error, people do that sometimes.
She should be told so, in no uncertain terms.

however, it would appear that a lot of the answers seem so reactive, so harsh.
Constructive dismissal? maybe but why?
loss of trust and confidence? yes, I would say so with your managr?


you say you would find it hard to work with colleagues now that they know, but I'm not sure why that would be. Some colleagues might even be supportive. Some may not give a crap. Some may give you a hard time (but why???)

Your family know, and a few close friends.................. thats a lot of people that know already......

Relax and take a step backwards.
I think you are overthinking, and over stating it.
its not the end of the world.

hurleronditch

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Totally agree with the first sentence.

But unless you say "medical reasons" or some other plausible reason agreed in advance with the employee, the colleague with just assume it's ok to now be a lazy bint and take a day off every week. And they'll be looking for their day a week off too.

Your proposed reply will destroy team spirit and loyalty VERY quickly.

What utter nonsense.

I’ve had situations where colleagues have had unexplained time off. On some occasions I have never found out why, others I’ve found out afterwards illness, family issues.

Unless you are an unmotivated rabble of vindictive gossips, if a colleague has an issue which requires them to take additional time off you act like an adult, you show a combination of integrity and compassion and get on with your ****ing job and don’t hold it against your co worker.

Mrs OBumble

Deleted User wrote: »

Does it not resonate with you at all that not a single person here agrees with you, and those that take the opposite position to you have tens of thanks. If it were me in your position I would be considering whether my stance is actually wrong

No it doesn't.

This is a discussion forum. It's valuable to examine issues from lots of perspectives. And I don't give a d@mn whether people agree with me or not.

Now, I do agree that the manager made a dreadful mistake. But I think that the core of it was not agreeing a comms strategy with the employee.

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

kathleen37

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

No it doesn't.

This is a discussion forum. It's valuable to examine issues from lots of perspectives. And I don't give a d@mn whether people agree with me or not.

Now, I do agree that the manager made a dreadful mistake. But I think that the core of it was not agreeing a comms strategy with the employee.

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

Fair enough.

I'm not naïve and my experience of team members seems to be really different to yours.

Peace.

brightspark

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

The explanation is confidential personnel reasons, if any employee isn't satisfied ask them if they want their confidential information spread.

martingriff

horse7 wrote: »

Wouldn't it be worse if you were told that they no longer needed you,be positive about the situation,at least you don't have anything to hide now.

Hide what now there private life. What should they need to know it

PCeeeee wrote: »

No. They do not need to know the nature of the appointments. Medical or otherwise.

What the hell would they need to know that

kennethsmyth

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Strums how would you react if you were told to pick up extra work every Tuesday afternoon, cos your colleague was suddenly given extra time off - for no good reason as far as you could see.

You'd be saying it was unfair and calling them lazy, and asking when your extra holidays are.

Its none of their business and I believe you know this as I think you work in the HR side.

kennethsmyth

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

No it doesn't.

This is a discussion forum. It's valuable to examine issues from lots of perspectives. And I don't give a d@mn whether people agree with me or not.

Now, I do agree that the manager made a dreadful mistake. But I think that the core of it was not agreeing a comms strategy with the employee.

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

The other employees get no say in what is a personal matter and you know this, if their is any fallout due to someone having an attitude and "needing to know why" then their manager should be managing and telling them straight its personal and none of their business. But you know this already.

martingriff

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Strums how would you react if you were told to pick up extra work every Tuesday afternoon, cos your colleague was suddenly given extra time off - for no good reason as far as you could see.

You'd be saying it was unfair and calling them lazy, and asking when your extra holidays are.

If that is the way her colleagues react so be it the OP can answer if they feel fit. HR or your higher boss (with permission) are the only ones who would need to know why

martingriff

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Totally agree with the first sentence.

But unless you say "medical reasons" or some other plausible reason agreed in advance with the employee, the colleague with just assume it's ok to now be a lazy bint and take a day off every week. And they'll be looking for their day a week off too.

Your proposed reply will destroy team spirit and loyalty VERY quickly.

There taking time off nobody bar the boss has any right in knowing someone private business. If someone wants to think ill of them thats on that person. They have no right to demand why someone is off

martingriff

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

No it doesn't.

This is a discussion forum. It's valuable to examine issues from lots of perspectives. And I don't give a d@mn whether people agree with me or not.

Now, I do agree that the manager made a dreadful mistake. But I think that the core of it was not agreeing a comms strategy with the employee.

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

People take time off. The reason is none of anyone else problem. If its private then it should stay that way and nobody that person works with has no right to there private issues. For some reason you do not get that. If there colleagues get the hump that's there problem

I have had people I work with have to take certain time off on days. There private life is not my concern to know. If my boss came to me and said right we need to have a meeting and tell eveyone why I am off for x day I would politely say no it is private and it is to be kept like that

punisher5112

Anyone that doesn't get it lets just say I'm Mr.B.....


I've had a nervous breakdown or some mental episode.... This by the way is not to make light of any mental issues.....

I wouldn't want a soul knowing about that one bit and ask yourself, would you.....

ineedeuro

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

No it doesn't.

This is a discussion forum. It's valuable to examine issues from lots of perspectives. And I don't give a d@mn whether people agree with me or not.

Now, I do agree that the manager made a dreadful mistake. But I think that the core of it was not agreeing a comms strategy with the employee.

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

More rubbish and it does suggest you work in a fairly toxic environment. If this is the case in one of the many companies you work for I suggest you resign. Plenty of other options available

Mrs OBumble

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Now, I do agree that the manager made a dreadful mistake. But I think that the core of it was not agreeing a comms strategy with the employee.

Those who think that the other team members are likely to accept the employee disappearing regularly without explanation are naive, at best.

The core of it was leaving the company open to GDPR fines of €20,000,000, as well as personal litigation from the OP. Nobody deserves to know anything about their co-workers and their medical situation. Nosy busybodies who think otherwise should be given short shrift. Your assertion that team members wouldn't accept it without complaining are refuted by decades of working in places where everyone did just that.

You are way wide of the mark here, I'm afraid.

harvester of sorrow

To think Mrs OBumble used to be a mod here:rolleyes::rolleyes:

MoonUnit75

I guess it's a sign of how little some employers view their employees dignity and privacy. People have zero value and are worth little more respect than what they add to the bottom line. Despicable behaviour. Hard to believe it's being defended here as being some kind of 'comms' oversight.

There is nothing other employees need to know except one person will be working reduced hours on some days of the week or month. Have to laugh at the suggestion that other employees are going to take it as a sign that a person is lazy and getting preferential treatment because they are absent, just shows the mindset of some employers towards those 'beneath them'. There's a whole host of personal reasons why someone might need regular time off and the reasons are no one else's business.

Fian

Darc19 wrote: »

That's called constructive dismissal.

Basically her actions have created an environment where you find it difficult to work in and she may well have done it purposely.


It's also a flagrant breach of confidentiality.


If you feel that you cannot work there anymore, you can sue for constructive dismissal, but I'd have a chat with a solicitor

I think this is very unlikely to establish a claim of constructive dismissal. Be very careful and understand the risks before you decide to resign in the expectation that you would be ale to claim this. Also be aware that the compensation payable will not normally meet the loss involved in losing employment unless you are confident you can secure alternative employment quickly.

None of which is to suggest that this is not a big deal and you would think the employer would at least have had the grace to apologise and acknowledge their mistake when pulled up on it.

georgewickstaff

It is quite clear that Mrs O'Bumble is on a wind up. I wouldn't mind but when someone posts something in relation to a medical condition and breach of trust she is permitted to hijack the thread to fuel her craving for attention.

I particularly enjoyed her use of "examine issues from another perspective". You seem to post like your opinion is a "fact", there is even less examination, just hot hair and ranting. Your input is dangerous, unreasonable and deliberately contrarian. You need to be called out for it. Thankfully most are wise to your tedious antics now.

Desist.

I hope that helps.

georgewickstaff

In order to succeed in a claim for unfair dismissal you have to exhaust all internal processes and then and only then decide you cannot continue in that employment. It is a very high bar to clear.

I would think that if your manager apologized to you and asked the staff to refrain from discussing your private business they could probably be off the hook in regard to showing remorse and being reasonable towards you.

I think you would be far more likely to succeed with an GDPR claim and if there is any adverse treatment or disadvantage because of the "disability". It is not an easy claim and if you are not in the right frame of mind to pursue it I would think carefully about the effects on your health.

You do however, need to sit down with your manger and say her breach of trust was entirely unacceptable and insist there is no recurrence of it. You also cannot have your medical condition being discussed openly by her employees. Follow this up with an email summarising everything you said to her. Her behaviour after this will show if there is any genuine remorse.. Mistakes can be made it is how they fix them..

mrslancaster

OP, that is completely unacceptable from your boss. If you work in a small company then your boss is probably the HR & the GDPR person as well so should be very aware of their responsibilities about privacy & confidentiality.

Other staff in the company have no right to know of your private business. Why a staff meeting was immediately called to discuss your situation with the rest of the staff is hard to understand. In fact your boss only needs to know from your doctors that you have a medical need for time off but not the specific details of your condition.

Unbelievable that some employers think they can still carry on like it's the 1970's. No surprise that you're stressed & feel you can't go into work at the moment.

buttercups88

Hi all, OP here. Thank you to all of you who offered helpful advice. I have spent some time today reading them all and they are much appreciated.

I plan on sitting down tomorrow with my boss to tell her exactly how it has left me feeling.

My main issue is that it was done without my permission and how quickly she jumped on it.

I dont want to go down any legal routes but will see how tomorrow goes. The business itself is small and I know even before covid it wasn't doing great so I would hate to add extra financial strain on it by sueing.

The boss is owner/hr/gdpr person so there isn't anyone higher to speak to and I would be next senior to her so there wouldn't be anyone else for me to go to.

But we will see how she responds tomorrow.

Good luck with it. Be confident in the fact that she was completely out of order

runawaybishop

georgewickstaff wrote: »

I think you would be far more likely to succeed with an GDPR claim .

I don't see how gdpr applies here, verbal information is not data.

martingriff

buttercups88 wrote: »

Hi all, OP here. Thank you to all of you who offered helpful advice. I have spent some time today reading them all and they are much appreciated.

I plan on sitting down tomorrow with my boss to tell her exactly how it has left me feeling.

My main issue is that it was done without my permission and how quickly she jumped on it.

I dont want to go down any legal routes but will see how tomorrow goes. The business itself is small and I know even before covid it wasn't doing great so I would hate to add extra financial strain on it by sueing.

The boss is owner/hr/gdpr person so there isn't anyone higher to speak to and I would be next senior to her so there wouldn't be anyone else for me to go to.

But we will see how she responds tomorrow.

I know its a small business but I taught it be wise to make sure you had different eyes between owner and hr person

AndrewJRenko

runawaybishop wrote: »

I don't see how gdpr applies here, verbal information is not data.

A verbal breach of GDPR and Data Protection Acts is STILL a breach.

I'm sorry to hear of your unprofessional boss!

I had something similar happen to me recently.

I am a teacher and at 6 weeks pregnant, I had to tell my principal that I was pregnant to be allowed to work remotely due to Covid. In normal times, there is not a hope in hell that I would have told her so early.

On the day that I had found out I had a miscarriage, she called me to say that she had blurted my pregnancy out to other staff members and the whole staff found out from there.

It made the healing process a lot harder when I knew other people knew my private business.

Just wondering what code of conduct did Big Gob (principal) breach here?

I would like to take this issue further as she is not a confidential person and so unprofessional in so many ways.