After how long with zero success should I delete my pic profile

Surreptitious

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm fine.
Thanks for your input all.
No worries.
I'm going to dump the online dating and try to get a job.
Sorry if I wasted people's time.

You wasted no time. This is an open forum for people to talk.

MissShihTzu

The Mighty Quinn wrote: »

Haven't used apps since 2014. I met my now wife on POF. It used to be an absolute sh*tshow of an app, I probably went on first dates with 30 women I met on it, maybe second dates with 15.

Talked to about 200 women, painful.

Met my husband on PoF too! He was probably the second person to talk to me. And the only one who was remotely normal, treated me with respect and didn't try to get his leg over on the first date!

Galwayguy35

The way we used to do it finding someone in a pub before any dating apps were even heard of was a lot less complicated.

Logged back into POF earlier on for the first time in about 2 years and a lot of the same women are on it, a few of them lookers as well so it doesn't even seem to work for those who hit the genetic jackpot either.

MissShihTzu

OP - You seem very angry, frustrated, low on confidence and depressed. You also sound very misogynistic (although I think that's borne out of frustration more than anything). It can't be easy living rural, unemployed and seeking a partner - I get it.

Why don't you tackle one thing at a time? First and foremost, try your best to get a job. If you need to retrain, volunteer, network? Do it! That will boost you up no end.

Next - save a little money if you can. Get out of the rural life and go somewhere like a big town. Doesn't have to be a city. Just somewhere with more going on.
You'll start to meet more people that way.

Finally - once you've got yourself sorted with some activities? The rest might fall into place. You might even meet someone nice!

Try it at least. Stay off the online stuff for a while.

NiceFella

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm fine.
Thanks for your input all.
No worries.
I'm going to dump the online dating and try to get a job.
Sorry if I wasted people's time.

You are not wasting people's time one bit. I can tell you are a nice fella like myself just a bit fed up. I've been there believe me.

I think you are right jim, take a good break away from the online dating. Its not the be all and end all and woukd not be too worried about that. I will say and urge you to try consider getting chatting to some one with the way you are feeling at the moment. It can help enormously.

On the job front as another poster said volunteering might open doors for you. I had a cousin who did it and it really got him connected up with people. Not a bad option.

gsi300024v

The ones I found seemed to be ones who said they wanted a relationship but when they met someone who might be able to hold a relationship with them they got scared, afraid of that commitment and risk.
They could sort of saying to themselves they were looking for a relationship because they were online dating, a bit like someone going to AA and getting pissed on their way home, they could fool themselves into thinking they were working on their drinking. I actually said this to one lady I'd dates with for a month.
She saw someone for 2 months before me, went right back online after, we got on well but she would weekly say I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship, it's said she was in profile. I'd be like her therapist and explain it's not a relationship, we know each other for two weeks and we're just enjoying the dates she'd relax, we'd enjoy the date and 4 days later she'd freak again. We stopped seeing each other eventually when I felt I didn't want to be her therapist, and she went back online dating asap with tag I want a relationship.

Lesalare

POF just attracts the dregs of society.

gsi300024v

Volunteering can help with my noodle, if you are stuck in your own head with your own worries, it can be great to step out of that and think of someone else and help someone for nothing else than you want to.
I did a bit with the homeless before and mixed with some really nice other volunteers and came home after it feeling very lucky about my lot in life and after having some great chats.

jimjangles

I deleted my account on POF and Bumble and gave up on women. Romance is dead in the 21st century as far as I'm concerned. I'm too old now to find anyone as I'm 39 and felt stupid having my photo on a crappy dating site when no woman was ever going to even look at it and I knew no woman would ever reply to me if I messaged as I got plenty of ignores before. I'm finished with it now, that's my update.

Mango Joe

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117555532#Comment_117555532

Hmmm I am interpreting this as you to a degree not being entirely happy with where you are at in your life right now - Even before considering the dating thing.

Set some achievable goals, get a professional cert in something, start a course that might lead to a career, put down some kilometres walking,running or cycling. Exercise doesn't just give you a healthier body - Its usually good for your mental state also - If you see results and progress it will also help your self-image and confidence.

Volunteer somewhere, help others, push yourself socially for the sheer practice of it - try and be the sort of person who has a few of the qualities you'd typically admire when seen in others.

Talk to people about themselves, their lives, their interests - If you can do this with any bit of genuine interest and sincerity its 87% of being a good conversationalist !!

Once you like and respect yourself a bit more you'll have confidence and this alongside being kind, thoughtful, pleasant and respectful company will guarantee you a decent shot with a lot of women who at the end of the day just want someone nice to spend some time with and feel good about themselves too.

You can be certain that there's is so many women sitting in every evening that feel they're unattractive, undateable, unwanted, too short, heavy, plain and whatever other insecurity they've going on - It's such a pity that people can't be routinely matched off someone as its really crap all round......

Oh and drop the self-pity and idiotic comments about women being calculating, manipulative Witches - That's never ever going to be attractive to anyone of any sex - It's a miserable, whiny siege-mentality that's going to repel everyone universally.