Divorcing my wife ahead of inheriting

3DataModem

You mention the fact you lived abroad for a while. If you are planning to start the process, you *might* be better off doing it in the other country you lived in if possible. I know someone who separated while living in the UK and immediately started UK divorce proceedings in case their spouse started them in Ireland first. As a poster above said, Irish divorce may never be final from a financial perspective.

MouseTail

Smee_Again wrote: »

The parents can leave a child out of the will but the child can claim the parents failed in their moral duty to provide proper provision for the child in accordance with his means.

No they can't, there is no moral duty to leave estate to adult children. The only exception is if that child is incapacitated.

Smee_Again

MouseTail wrote: »

No they can't, there is no moral duty to leave estate to adult children. The only exception is if that child is incapacitated.

Of course they can, whether they are successful is another story but leaving them out entirely opens the door to the will being challenged.

99nsr125

https://boards.ie/discussion/2058197514/divorcing-my-wife-ahead-of-inheriting

Your parents are right

Caranica

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117584579#Comment_117584579

Friends of mine were both nationals of another country, married there, lived in Ireland about 10 years. Divorced in their home country (much much easier) then one party went to get remarried and registrar wouldn't accept foreign divorce as Ireland was both of their countries of residence. So what you're suggesting may not work.

jimmycrackcorm

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/117622134#Comment_117622134

The most recent divorce referendum to shorten the term to two years also allowed for the recognition of foreign divorces so that has changed.

As for the OP, his father is spot on.

AmberGold

You’ve titled your thread divorce ahead of inheritance like this is the main event. It sounds like the goose is cooked on a few fronts and the inheritance is a long way off.

As another poster has said move to the UK, file for divorce pronto! One year into a marriage that’s not working, no point in prolonged suffering. Be prepared to hand over half the house, small price to pay if you ask me!

1874

Op doesnt say where they got married?

I'd consider keeping the wife onside and suggest moving to where they got married for the purposes of work or if she is equally onboard even to openly discuss divorce, but I would aim for the former.

While I wouldnt have thought Id agree with the parents, I can see where they are coming from, and it just doesnt sound like the marriage is ever likely to be a success. It is possible two people can turn things around, but equally prolonging the agony may equally worsen things.

I suggest get out as quick as possible, I'm less aware of what the conditions of an allument are and it may simply be easier to get a divorce abroad.

Under no circumstances bring a child into that relationship. It is possible a child can be loved by both parents but I think they will always know there is a division of feelings. The longer you stay in this situation the worse it is and if you have a child, you are screwed completely.

I say this, because many of the things the OP says sound very familiar to me, in my experience subtle to blatant belittling of qualifications, despite being a hard worker, diminishing someones contributions.

I know saying not to bring a child into such a relationship may sound harsh, but it wont fix things imo, you are tied to someone that doesn't like you and you them for the rest of your life. imo divorce ASAP and break all contact with them. While I wouldn't cut them out completely, I'd even be cautious of common friends. I love my child dearly and could never think of them not being around, but despite feeling I would have less of a relationship and possibly no rights with them if I had not got married, I consider myself worse off being married. There is nothing pleasant in an unhappy marriage or one where the other person lays down the conditions and limits of that relationship. Not to be more callous, but I would sleep apart from someone like that and not take any chances (ie complete abstinence) in case in a moment of weakness you get on the hook, or even without cause, told you are a father.

Get out asap imo, all the better if there is a possibility of doing it abroad.

notAMember

Tbh, while your relationship is very rocky with your wife, she talks some sense on not having children as neither of you have jobs or a direction on the farm. What age are you yourself? If your parents are in their seventies, you are potentially mid 40’s to early 50’s now, so I am assuming you’re not a grad starting a career here.

Is the farm responsibility the reason you can’t get a job? do you want to farm permanently and your dad won’t hand over the reigns? In his 70’s it will be difficult to maintain the farm , what is their plan on succession of that business? Hire a farm manager?

Do you think your wife is stressed out by the pandemic, moving country and not having a car in rural Ireland? Her situation sounds fairly bleak. Is she Irish?

Your relationship with your parents is incredibly dependant for an adult.

The farm is falling to pieces you’ve said, and you don’t get on with your dad. It sounds like your parents don’t like your new wife, who you have met rather late in life. Being threatened with disinheritance unless you divorce is quite the ultimatum. Did they like her before you married and something changed, or they have always disliked her and disapproved of the marriage?

This stark conversation you had with them, was it about children as you described? Are they literally threatening to cut you off because your wife isn’t a simple brood mare and is thinking through the consequences of having children while both of you are unemployed?

That conversation with your parents where you suddenly decided you didn’t love your new wife anymore once your parents mentioned you not getting a 1.5M inheritance has rocked you clearly.

I would take a deep look at that controlling relationship with your parents and think about that farm. It’s affecting your whole life.

mary 2021

If i were you id tell her you are not happy and want out and that you need to sell the house and split it. Then move into your parents house and with a few quid in the bank get your act together and enjoy your inheritence you have no kids so a re visit is not as fruitful. Put all you get into a limited company so she can get her hands on it.

jmlad2020

Any update OP? Please for the love of Christ don't continue something you aren't happy in. She would drop you like a hot potato if another man came along it by the sounds of it. High probability she divorces YOU in a few years and takes you for half, because she can.

Something similar happened in my village, guy ended up committing suicide wishing he got out earlier.

colly10

I won’t get into the relationship, it’s a one sided story, don’t know how severe or frequent the things you’ve pointed out are and everyone has problems they need to work on together. Only you can say whether you should separate, your not married long so I presume it wasn’t terrible when you married ... how long are you together?

You shouldn’t talk to family about problems with your wife but you are where you are. I find wanting to have kids at the moment bizarre given the current situation, having kids can be tough work and it certainly doesn’t sort relationships. Her age risk is overplayed by the way unless she’s a fair bit older than you.

Your family shouldn’t put the pressure on in that way but presume they think they’re doing the right thing after hearing a one sided story

I really think you should give your dad a break. He’s clearly caring cause he supports you and will still consider giving considerable inheritance. Farm work is tough, i’d say he has his money made and is burn’t out with it ... you as someone who may inherit should step up and keep it the way you feel it should be kept when he’s no longer around. Sure he can help out but works probably not his main priority now. Ye could drop the arguments with him anyway

Big Bag of Chips

jmlad2020 please do not ask for updates. Nobody is obliged to come back to the thread.

Thread closed. OP if you would like it reopened for any reason please contact me or one of the PI moderators.