Falling Down

Well at the grand old age of 39..I've finally got to the stage where I just ****ing hate people.

When did it happen to you?
Is it a phase? Will it end soon?
Should I become a recluse, hermit?

pappyodaniel

I only hate 99.99% of people. There's a few sounds ones...

pappyodaniel

pappyodaniel wrote: »

I only hate 99.99% of people. There's a few sounds ones...

And you're content with that?

bigar

Give it another ten years and you will just think most are idiots not worth your time or even getting angry about.

fryup

long time ago in the schoolyard surrounded by bullies & assholes

furiousox

The thing about people is, sooner or later they will let you down.

10pennymixup

I'm not sure if lockdown has magnified it, but yes people are asshats.

gifted

In my early 40s I started to refuse a lot of requests and give a reason why.....mid 40s I started to just say no and gave no reason.....50 this year and I just walk away from people who even think of asking me something.
It's brilliant......

Olivia2

Olivia2 wrote: »

Well at the grand old age of 39..I've finally got to the stage where I just ****ing hate people.

When did it happen to you?
Is it a phase? Will it end soon?
Should I become a recluse, hermit?

Probably the past couple of years around 29.
Tbh I don't hate people, it takes all sorts but some really annoy me with their judgemental attitudes and opinions.

At this stage I know who my real friends are and they know who I am and happy to keep that circle tight.

Strumms

10pennymixup wrote: »

I'm not sure if lockdown has magnified it, but yes people are asshats.

I think that is so very true, also we’ve had a lot more time to see and think about idiots being idiots in our past and right up to now. Definitely been magnified...during this pandemic... there has been a lot of fûckin shamdemic behaviors...

Hamachi

gifted wrote: »

In my early 40s I started to refuse a lot of requests and give a reason why.....mid 40s I started to just say no and gave no reason.....50 this year and I just walk away from people who even think of asking me something.
It's brilliant......

Why would anybody bother asking anything of somebody with your outlook?

Most people aren’t total idiots. They can usually suss out who is amenable vs. misanthropes.

Capt'n Midnight

furiousox wrote: »

The thing about people is, sooner or later they will let you down.

As David Niven used to say about Errol Flynn "Errol was totally dependable, he would always let you down."

The Black Oil

Thought this was about the Michael Douglas film.

The Black Oil

The Black Oil wrote: »

Thought this was about the Michael Douglas film.

Same. I love that film.

gifted

gifted wrote: »

In my early 40s I started to refuse a lot of requests and give a reason why.....mid 40s I started to just say no and gave no reason.....50 this year and I just walk away from people who even think of asking me something.
It's brilliant......

Nothing wrong with saying 'no' and a vague non committal "can't make it" or "I've a lot on that week", and people say "yes", but everyone knows its a "no", just not articulated yet.

I agree they're not entitled to a/any reason for your "no", and people often feel obliged to explain or excuse a "no", but just "no" is a bit too blunt even for me.

Hamsterchops

Olivia2 wrote: »

Falling Down

Inner ear infection?

Drunk?

rtron

I reckon we get more right wing and healthily more selfish as we get older.
It starts sooner for some people if they have kids earlier in life.
This is 100% true, based on science.

Timberrrrrrrr

The older you get the shorter your patience for idiots.

Timberrrrrrrr

rtron wrote: »

I reckon we get more right wing and healthily more selfish as we get older.
It starts sooner for some people if they have kids earlier in life.
This is 100% true, based on science.

I wouldn't class myself as right wing, always been healthy, and I think I'm less selfish now than 25 years ago.

Science huh?

Pherekydes

rtron wrote: »

I reckon we get more right wing and healthily more selfish as we get older.
It starts sooner for some people if they have kids earlier in life.
This is 100% true, based on science.

Well, obviously not 100% true!

I went back to a school reunion and shot everyone who I hated and bullied me.

"I'm the bad guy?"

BrianD3

At this point someone will usually trot out the old cliché of "if you keep encountering assholes, you must be the asshole". Not really, the average person is fairly stupid (average IQ is something like 100) so in Ireland alone there are literally millions of dopes out there. I'm not sure that the average person has the brain capacity to deal with the complexities of modern life without resorting to primitive, selfish behaviours and regularly causing annoyance to others. Not that intelligent people are immune from being absolute c*nts.

In general, expecting people not to be inconsiderate assholes is like expecting a dog not to bark.

However, if the person is being paid to do something and doesn't that's when there is more of a problem. Tradesmen, public servants, GPs etc. Not turning up, not returning calls, not being competent, not giving a fcuk about anything apart from money - f*ckers. Also, workplace bullies and assholes.

banie01

Also would go against the "more right wing" as you age trope.

In my 40's and my current self would honestly take aside my idealistic younger self and shake him if I ever got the chance.
Not that my politics have changed all that much, but the utter lack of nuance or appreciation for other viewpoints.
The certainty of black and white rather than the actual reality of how the world works.

As for hating people, nah I did for a long time.
Did the rage and revenge bit for a while and may even have achieved it(may!)
But all it did was externalise my emotional stability and give people I didn't care about far too much influence over me.

So I let it go, if I can't influence it? Fúck it.
Hating people is corrosive, it takes a toll on you and diminishes your own happiness...
So rather than hate them, appreciate the ones who care and general apathy for the rest

rtron

Pherekydes wrote: »

Well, obviously not 100% true!

I went back to a school reunion and shot everyone who I hated and bullied me.

"I'm the bad guy?"

Proof of my point, if you were the person now you were then you would have shot them in school.

I see sheep

"I don’t want to be your buddy, Rick. I just want some breakfast."

rtron

banie01 wrote: »

Also would go against the "more right wing" as you age trope.

In my 40's and my current self would honestly take aside my idealistic younger self and shake him if I ever got the chance.
Not that my politics have changed all that much, but the utter lack of nuance or appreciation for other viewpoints.
The certainty of black and white rather than the actual reality of how the world works.

As for hating people, nah I did for a long time.
Did the rage and revenge bit for a while and may even have achieved it(may!)
But all it did was externalise my emotional stability and give people I didn't care about far too much influence over me.

So I let it go, if I can't influence it? Fúck it.
Hating people is corrosive, it takes a toll on you and diminishes your own happiness...
So rather than hate them, appreciate the ones who care and general apathy for the rest

Baine people pay a fortune to learn, come to terms with and accept what you just posted. You should print it frame it for the younger generation in your life.
Not joking.

rtron

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

I wouldn't class myself as right wing, always been healthy, and I think I'm less selfish now than 25 years ago.

Science huh?

Yes but is the level of your selfishness more healthy than 25 years ago. It's ok to be a little bit selfish.

Timberrrrrrrr

rtron wrote: »

Baine people pay a fortune to learn, come to terms with and accept what you just posted. You should print it frame it for the younger generation in your life.
Not joking.

No need, sure Disney even made a song about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

Henry...

rtron wrote: »

Baine people pay a fortune to learn, come to terms with and accept what you just posted. You should print it frame it for the younger generation in your life.
Not joking.

This idea of ignoring people and hating others is very negative on the self

What I tend to do now is try not to allow misc. daily interactions to annoy me

Not worry about people's opinions of me

Engage meaningfully with someone if I'm interested

NSAman

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

No need, sure Disney even made a song about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

Can’t stand that Biotch!

Timberrrrrrrr

NSAman wrote: »

Can’t stand that Biotch!

Yeah I had about eight months of that 5 times a day when it first came out

banie01

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

No need, sure Disney even made a song about it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

That I have yet to see a penny in royalties from!
Not even a credit :pac:

NickNickleby

Not sure where I stand on this. I will always 'do the right thing' even if the other party is a complete and obnoxious arsehole.

Inside , of course, I'm "D-FENS".

The mantra I've trotted out, to my now adult kids, is "most people are good". So that's my approach. I've had very few nasty encounters, and of those a couple were genuinely due to hot headedness (not me). I say with certainty that I only met one dyed in the wool ignorant b4xt4rd who was my manager for many years. but even when misfortune struck, I was first and last to offer support. (Everyone else was probably saying "move towards the light!" a phrase I came to appreciate while watching Breaking Bad years later.) Not that it was appreciated, but at least I 'did the right thing'. ***

I'm always available to help people out, unless I'm absolutely unavoidably detained. And if one of those I help can't reciprocate for whatever reason, I tend not to hold it against them.

It might sound like I'm a doormat, but I'm not, and I think most of you are probably somewhat like me.


(*** Jesus, that was cathartic :eek::pac:).

JustAThought

Strumms wrote: »

I think that is so very true, also we’ve had a lot more time to see and think about idiots being idiots in our past and right up to now. Definitely been magnified...during this pandemic... there has been a lot of fûckin shamdemic behaviors...

o - thank you so much for saying this! I had a total bat**** RANT on the road at someone the other day and called a lot of behavious out. Real Valley of the Squinting Windows stuff since but now serious calm and very modified behaviours ( not mine!). Sometimes people just need to be called out on their selfishness and arseholeyness. Good for the soul too. Has redeemed my hope for a few people too - and improved my quality of life.

Thank God Ireland (mostly) dosn’t have guns.
I can see how America has gone so violent and totally pear shaped.

In reply to person above I would also that a bit of kindness from strangers goes a LONG way and can make a big psychological difference.

Henry...

NickNickleby wrote: »

Not sure where I stand on this. I will always 'do the right thing' even if the other party is a complete and obnoxious arsehole.

Inside , of course, I'm "D-FENS".

The mantra I've trotted out, to my now adult kids, is "most people are good". So that's my approach. I've had very few nasty encounters, and of those a couple were genuinely due to hot headedness (not me). I say with certainty that I only met one dyed in the wool ignorant b4xt4rd who was my manager for many years. but even when misfortune struck, I was first and last to offer support. (Everyone else was probably saying "move towards the light!" a phrase I came to appreciate while watching Breaking Bad years later.) Not that it was appreciated, but at least I 'did the right thing'. ***

I'm always available to help people out, unless I'm absolutely unavoidably detained. And if one of those I help can't reciprocate for whatever reason, I tend not to hold it against them.

It might sound like I'm a doormat, but I'm not, and I think most of you are probably somewhat like me.


(*** Jesus, that was cathartic :eek::pac:).

Think I can see where you got your username

NickNickleby

Henry... wrote: »

Think I can see where you got your username

:eek::D:D:D hahaha. Nooooooo!, I didn't think my writing style was as tedious to read as some of my hero's.

JustAThought

There are people who are givers and sadly those who are 100% takers - never yield, never help anyone out, totally selfish and make decisions that actively are antisocial and make other peoples lives a misery. Sometimes they need a good alapping - not a handshake. The wooden spoon system is the only thing that works for some people. Until they learn how to behave.

growleaves

At this point someone will usually trot out the old cliché of "if you keep encountering assholes, you must be the asshole". Not really, the average person is fairly stupid (average IQ is something like 100) so in Ireland alone there are literally millions of dopes out there.

Not sure what IQ has to do with disagreeableness.

There is even a classic high IQ-disagreeable type, think Michelangelo getting into fistfights and alienating his patrons.

"not being an asshole" = personality trait

JustAThought

JustAThought wrote: »

There are people who are givers and sadly those who are 100% takers - never yield, never help anyone out, totally selfish and make decisions that actively are antisocial and make other peoples lives a misery. Sometimes they need a good alapping - not a handshake. The wooden spoon system is the only thing that works for some people. Until they learn how to behave.

Falling Down used be a family favourite film - until the past couple of years when I experience these shrug off behaviours more and more in daily interactions with every other function or service I employ - use and pay for. The american happy clappy service industry idealogy may be sacharine sweet & may not be perfect but its far preferable to the disinterested, sullen, computer -says no ‘service’ we often get and are supposed to endure. Even more so when ’services’ are ‘working remotely’ and just not interested or bothered doing the job they are paid to do. And that’s before I get started on tradesmen who don’t turn up or turn up 6 hours late, council ‘staff’ who never engage or answer letters or their phones, ‘service’ personnel who are programmes to be unable to act or work beyond reciting a script, and all manner of just rude, disinterested and basic incompetence in people who are highly trained, paid and rewarded and are just prepared to so the basics or below unless tracked and reported so there are consequences for them. I really despair sometimes. Noone is accountable, noone is responsible & you have to look hard to find ordinary, decent, professional level of service - with probably a few lone exceptions of small sales driven companies and the utterly underappreciated and underpaid fire service who do an incredible job for a pittance and should all be given a free house of their choice for the incredible work they do and sacrifices they make for people. Even if they have signed up to do it.

Henry...

growleaves wrote: »

Not sure what IQ has to do with disagreeableness.

There is even a classic high IQ-disagreeable type, think Michelangelo getting into fistfights and alienating his patrons.

"not being an asshole" = personality trait

Are we going back that far ?

growleaves

Henry... wrote: »

Are we going back that far ?

I was trying to give the most famous example of a 'type'.

There are loads of people who fit that description. Many artists in particular, think Patrick Kavanagh. Another person who was physically violent and he sued for libel and insulted the lawyer cross-examining him. He fell out with every other writer in Dublin.

There is a huge focus on Yankee-style agreeableness and careerism post-1980 so such people may be less in the spotlight than they were before.

The summer sun
It blows my mind
It's falling down on all that I've ever known
Time to kiss the world goodbye
Falling down on all that I've ever known
Is all that I've ever known

the beer revolu

That movie missed such a trick, imo.
It should have been about a normal guy who, due to the stresses of life, loses it but they had a guy who, it turns out, always had mental issues and a criminal past!

JustAThought

the beer revolu wrote: »

That movie missed such a trick, imo.
It should have been about a normal guy who, due to the stresses of life, loses it but they had a guy who, it turns out, always had mental issues and a criminal past!

Did he have a criminal past? I disrememeber this part? Don’t want to spoil the film for others but the bit where they opened his briefcase & saw what was in it was a bit chilling. Maybe moreso now given the situation many people find themselves in with Covid.

Lots of yanks have big guns - not so unusual there. Or marital breakdowns and past wives. Also , not so unusual.

the beer revolu

JustAThought wrote: »

Did he have a criminal past? I disrememeber this part?l.

His ex had a barring order on him. He had a history of violence.

gogo

My son has aspergers and it’s looked on as a flaw, personally I think he was born realizing that most people aren’t worth his time… it takes the rest of us years to realize that a lot of people only want you for their own self serving needs.. he was born with that knowledge already ingrained!
my kid… if your not a real friend or a part of his life, he doesn’t care about you or your needs. He doesn’t give a monkeys what you think of him, if he doesn’t like something or want to do something.. he just says no.
If he thinks your an idiot .. he will tell you straight up your an idiot and always wonders why everyone else lies about crap..
He’s happy out!

That's a great way to be if you don't have a boss:)

Wibbs

I'd rarely enough meet true gobsh1tes in the wild. In threads like this before I did notice a fair number of people mentioned bullies at school. That is sure to do a number on you and how you might view people. I was neither bullied, nor a bully so maybe that's informed my general attitude?

I have found most people are, well, people. They have their ups and downs, good days and bad and are far more concerned about the stuff in their own lives than the stuff in mine. The truly toxic types are in the minority and not just the obvious eejits, emotional vampire types that appear OK can be way worse the obvious eejits. But again, generally I find them rare enough to encounter.

Hyperbollix

The great thing about getting older and having plenty of battle scars is you give less and less of a shít. You realize life isn't an episode of Friends and you only need to keep your eye on the things that really matter, ie number 1 and your immediate family. Anything after that is a bonus.

I’d say since around 34/35. I don’t want anyone around me at all.

JustAThought

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

I’d say since around 34/35. I don’t want anyone around me at all.

aaaw. people can be great too. you just need the right people. Or the people to be allright.

JustAThought

JustAThought wrote: »

aaaw. people can be great too. you just need the right people. Or the people to be allright.

The celtic tiger ruined 99% of my era of people. ****.