Falling Down

touts

Was in one supermarket last night where the barely awake girl on the till didn't want to honor the reduced price for some items I had picked up because it was too much hassle. Eventually I gave up because she wasn't sure which manager was on duty.

Today I was in another store and picked out three items on display only for the student staff member to respond. We don't have any of those. We don't have any of those. We don't have any of those. I asked why were they on display of they had no stock. "I don't know. We just do what we're told". And then he advised me to "just to start to buy things online because that's really what everyone else is doing".

I'm seriously thinking climate change resulting the extinction of the generation coming up behind us might not be an entirely bad thing for the legacy of the human race.

Wibbs

BrianD3 wrote: »

At this point someone will usually trot out the old cliché of "if you keep encountering assholes, you must be the asshole". Not really, the average person is fairly stupid (average IQ is something like 100) so in Ireland alone there are literally millions of dopes out there. I'm not sure that the average person has the brain capacity to deal with the complexities of modern life without resorting to primitive, selfish behaviours and regularly causing annoyance to others. Not that intelligent people are immune from being absolute c*nts.

In general, expecting people not to be inconsiderate assholes is like expecting a dog not to bark.

IQs don't quite spread out that way, but I take your point. However IQ isn't the be all and end all as far as not being a dick goes. EQ if far more important. On the "if you keep encountering assholes, you must be the asshole", in my experience that can certainly be a part of it, but I'd say it's more about your environment, especially growing up, though still in play in later life. Stress is a huge part of it. If you mildly stress lab rats they become ever more aggressive with each other. They become arseholes basically. Sudden short period of time stresses don't do it, even heavy stresses. That can actually make them more sociable. It's the low level stuff that would barely register if sudden and temporary, but revs them up over time. Modern life is very stressful IMHO. Not in the way life was in the past, when the stresses our ancestors had to deal with can look to us like horrors. Thing is they might have been terrible stresses, but they tended to be more temporary and more people were connected to actual communities and extended families and they had lifetime roles and jobs and structures(Which can bring their own stresses too of course). However these days we're almost always "on", in work and in leisure. Constantly tracking ourselves and others waiting for the next bills to come in etc wondering about the future and our place in it. We appear more connected, yet are less connected in so many ways.

Look how Covid has rattled our cages and brought the world to a halt. If Covid 19 had been around in 1918, with a world war and a different virus that killed up to 50 million people whose median age of mortality was 28 rather than 83, with horrors like smallpox still out there(that could kill a third of those infected and cripple another third), polio, measles and childhood mortality way higher than today, I would bet a lot of money that Covid 19 would probably not have even been spotted as a separate entity.

gogo wrote: »

My son has aspergers and it’s looked on as a flaw, personally I think he was born realizing that most people aren’t worth his time… it takes the rest of us years to realize that a lot of people only want you for their own self serving needs.. he was born with that knowledge already ingrained!
my kid… if your not a real friend or a part of his life, he doesn’t care about you or your needs. He doesn’t give a monkeys what you think of him, if he doesn’t like something or want to do something.. he just says no.
If he thinks your an idiot .. he will tell you straight up your an idiot and always wonders why everyone else lies about crap..
He’s happy out!

Great to hear he's happy out, because that can defo isolate people, so clearly you did all the right things. Fair play. But people "lie about crap" because that's part and parcel of navigating normal human interactions and relationships. Though it depends on what one describes as crap of course. Humans are a social animal. It's engrained in us. You note your lad's Aspergers can be seen as a flaw by some. It wouldn't be even a thing in a solitary animal species.

There also seems to be some hard and fast black or white with some around human interactions. Like someone is either an arse or not, introvert, or extravert and so on. It's not close to being that simple for the vast majority, though the trend of self description along such "tribal" lines has become more obvious over the last few decades. IMHO yet another simplistic notion imported from the US of A.

Wibbs

touts wrote: »

Was in one supermarket last night where the barely awake girl on the till didn't want to honor the reduced price for some items I had picked up because it was too much hassle. Eventually I gave up because she wasn't sure which manager was on duty.

It was night, she was probably a few hours in the place already and on meh money and she could have had a bad day or a queue of previous customers who were arseholes. When I come up against that sorta thing a cheerful mein helps and figuring fcuk it, whatever it is will be long after me.

I'm seriously thinking climate change resulting the extinction of the generation coming up behind us might not be an entirely bad thing for the legacy of the human race.

Every generation is convinced the next are a bunch of layabouts and useless buggers. All the way back to the Greeks, Egyptians, Chinese, Romans etc the old farts were complaining about the young pups and how the world was going to hell in a handbasket because of the dissolute youth in their debased clothes and fashions of speech and general idleness and lack of moral fibre. The other thread hereabouts concerning how do you know you getting older? Well if you're complaining about the Youth of Today(tm), yep, you're old. But sure t'is a fine tradition handed back since when Ug remarked to Ugga; "that son of mine can't make a handaxe to save his life. Not like in our day. We're fcuked Ugga. It's all downhill from here".

glenfieldman

furiousox wrote: »

The thing about people is, sooner or later they will let you down.

True true true
A dog is the only one that will be faithful

Nigzcurran

I left 2 big WhatsApp groups full of family and old mates this week, best feeling ever! Bring on the silence and solitude

B.A._Baracus

It's quite mad to think that there are 7 and a half billion people on this earth and the vast majority are as*holes.

Then again, when you think about it, it's not that hard to accept is it? Everyone is out for themselves - forget all the nice guy talk people spew. Its all lies.

All anyone can do in this world is make a little circle.. family, partner, few close friends etc.

olestoepoke

It gets worse the older you get, soon you'll overhear words like "hubby" outside the school picking up the kids and feel physically ill

sporina

Olivia2 wrote: »

Well at the grand old age of 39..I've finally got to the stage where I just ****ing hate people.

When did it happen to you?
Is it a phase? Will it end soon?
Should I become a recluse, hermit?

Q why is this thread called "Falling down"?

sporina

sporina wrote: »

Q why is this thread called "Falling down"?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_Down

Mongfinder General

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...

Michael Scott

Wibbs

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

It's quite mad to think that there are 7 and a half billion people on this earth and the vast majority are as*holes.

They're not, or at least people in general are pretty neutral and mostly OK, it's how your worldview frames them that makes the difference.

Then again, when you think about it, it's not that hard to accept is it? Everyone is out for themselves - forget all the nice guy talk people spew. Its all lies.

And there's that worldview again. I've noted it in broadly two types of people; those who were very optimistic, even naive in youth and life burst that bubble. Sometimes in childhood itself with bullies or crappy parents or later as life wasn't so Disney in its simplicity and innocence is a delicate bubble, or those who were always out for themselves and self centered, but age has let them embrace and admit that more readily. I've also found more men than women think like this. Again as a general thing of course.

sporina

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_Down

sorry I still don't get it?:pac:

Timberrrrrrrr

sporina wrote: »

sorry I still don't get it?:pac:

You need to watch the movie called falling down, then you will understand.

I ‘hate’ very few people, if any. What I have found though is that many people are thoughtless and unreliable to varying degrees.

sporina

Hyperbollix wrote: »

The great thing about getting older and having plenty of battle scars is you give less and less of a shít. You realize life isn't an episode of Friends and you only need to keep your eye on the things that really matter, ie number 1 and your immediate family. Anything after that is a bonus.

thank you x 1000


in saying that, if friends become toxic etc, its easy to ditch them - with family, not so.. I have some family I don't particularly get on with, but I still care about them and if they were in need i'd help out

Kermit.de.frog

I want Breakfast

Mongfinder General

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

I want Breakfast

You’ll have to order something from the lunch menu.

Kermit.de.frog

I don't want lunch. I want breakfast.

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eREiQhBDIk

B.A._Baracus

Wibbs wrote: »

They're not, or at least people in general are pretty neutral and mostly OK, it's how your worldview frames them that makes the difference.
And there's that worldview again. I've noted it in broadly two types of people; those who were very optimistic, even naive in youth and life burst that bubble. Sometimes in childhood itself with bullies or crappy parents or later as life wasn't so Disney in its simplicity and innocence is a delicate bubble, or those who were always out for themselves and self centered, but age has let them embrace and admit that more readily. I've also found more men than women think like this. Again as a general thing of course.

Wibbs,
Think what you want to think because the other 7 and a half billion are all gonna think differently than you.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^^

or maybe they think the same?

Wibbs

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Wibbs,
Think what you want to think because the other 7 and a half billion are all gonna think differently than you.

I have found most people are not nearly so negative about humanity as you seem to be BA and I'd be someone more on the happy nihilist end of the scale. Humans are a social animal, they're generally happier to exist within that framework of community. Throughout human history those who saw the majority of people as "arseholes"(or sinners) were either the socially disconnected for whatever reason, actual hermits, religious nutters, or arseholes themselves. We live in the safest, most connected, with the most social safety nets period in history and humanity strove for and did that. Not too bad for a majority of arseholes only out for themselves.

And you hit the nail on the head, the way one thinks. Because people tend to want to be right rather than content, if you have a pessimist view of anything you will self select for pessimist situations and outcomes. Indeed you will tend to attract them. Ditto for the optimistic view. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I witnessed the difference in my late parents. My dad was the sociable, optimistic about people, never looking for a return on investment over basic kindnesses type, my mum was the opposite in many ways. She was always cautious of people's motives and seemed to always have a running account in her head of kindnesses she extended(and she did) and payback from them. Even as a kid though I didn't know the whys of it I spotted the difference in how people responded to them differently, sometimes quite differently and how they would have different outcomes. They both encountered arseholes, but one apporach encountered and percieved far more. I learned early that how you view and treat the world and people(especially strangers), had a profound impact on how the world and people treated you and how content in general you ended up. Oh and my dad lived in many different places and cultures before he got hitched. He should have encountered more arseholes, but strangely didn't...

Temptamperu

I worked retail at 18 it was around that time I started to hate the general public

B.A._Baracus

Wibbs wrote: »

I have found most people are not nearly so negative about humanity as you seem to be BA and I'd be someone more on the happy nihilist end of the scale. Humans are a social animal, they're generally happier to exist within that framework of community. Throughout human history those who saw the majority of people as "arseholes"(or sinners) were either the socially disconnected for whatever reason, actual hermits, religious nutters, or arseholes themselves. We live in the safest, most connected, with the most social safety nets period in history and humanity strove for and did that. Not too bad for a majority of arseholes only out for themselves.

And you hit the nail on the head, the way one thinks. Because people tend to want to be right rather than content, if you have a pessimist view of anything you will self select for pessimist situations and outcomes. Indeed you will tend to attract them. Ditto for the optimistic view. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I witnessed the difference in my late parents. My dad was the sociable, optimistic about people, never looking for a return on investment over basic kindnesses type, my mum was the opposite in many ways. She was always cautious of people's motives and seemed to always have a running account in her head of kindnesses she extended(and she did) and payback from them. Even as a kid though I didn't know the whys of it I spotted the difference in how people responded to them differently, sometimes quite differently and how they would have different outcomes. They both encountered arseholes, but one apporach encountered and percieved far more. I learned early that how you view and treat the world and people(especially strangers), had a profound impact on how the world and people treated you and how content in general you ended up. Oh and my dad lived in many different places and cultures before he got hitched. He should have encountered more arseholes, but strangely didn't...

Sorry wibbs. Couldn't read anything more past than the second line. I tried. Its just a big wall of text and you open with "negative as you ba" - so what's the point.

I couldn't give a sh*t. It's dog eat dog man.

Greyfox

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Sorry wibbs. Couldn't read anything more past than the second line. I tried. Its just a big wall of text and you open with "negative as you ba" - so what's the point.

Thats a pity as if you were less negative you'd enjoy people and life a lot more.

Wibbs

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Sorry wibbs. Couldn't read anything more past than the second line. I tried. Its just a big wall of text and you open with "negative as you ba" - so what's the point.

I couldn't give a sh*t. It's dog eat dog man.

Well BA just read this bit then:

Because people tend to want to be right rather than content, if you have a pessimist view of anything you will self select for pessimist situations and outcomes. Indeed you will tend to attract them. Ditto for the optimistic view. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

BTW I said as negative as you seem. There's a tonal difference there that you missed and switched off. I could have followed with the greatest wisdom since Plato was a lad and you would have missed it. You have decided for whatever reasons that it's a dog eat dog world and that's that. And like I said people would rather themselves proven right than to be happier. It's a human trait we all have pretty much.

Potential-Monke

Hmm, I can't say when exactly, as there was a slow build up of realisation over a couple of years, but I'd say ballpark, 29-31 range. As a small ginger male, I had a hard enough time in primary and secondary school in the 80's-90's, the roaring red hair literally making me stand out for the bullies to pick on. But luckily, I had a few good friends who made school somewhat bearable. There wasn't a single day from about 5th class to 6th year (not including transition year, that was awesome!) where I wasn't bullied. It took me throwing a table at someone, in class, to get people to back off.

Anyway, I still had a good outlook on life leaving school. There were no jobs after the leaving that year, so I did a 3 month FAS course in waiting skills. I then worked for 2 years as a waiter part time while attending a private college (I only applied for 1 course that I wasn't interested in anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do and I still think the school fecked me over), and full time in a call centre. A few years later I picked up a third job in GameStop, so call centre, GameStop and occasional waiting. I thought yeah, this is working life, I'm gonna make something of myself, feck the begrudgers.

But then I made the mistake of joining the Gardai. First couple of years were grand, new member, wanting to make a change, but that slowly started to go downhill for work reasons I won't get into in this thread (but I have commented on via many other threads), and seeing the scum and lowlives and how they make gain from other peoples misery... yeah, that's when I really started to change. Eventually, life was getting too much, I hated my job, I hated my mortgage, I hated being broke, I hated most people... I packed in the job, took the hit on the mortgage and moved back home.

I have come to the realisation that everyone, EVERYONE, is only really interested in themselves and those close to them. They may come across as the nicest person you know, but push come to shove, they'll throw you under a bus. EVERYONE. It took a bit of a transition and a while, but now I honestly believe any new person I meet is a self serving prick. The reason for this is as follows:

- If they are indeed a self serving prick, I already knew it so no shock there
- If they do something that isn't self serving, it's a bonus and a positive thing to happen that I wasn't expecting

It takes a while for me to change my opinion that you're a self serving prick and enter into the friendship. This doesn't happen often. But, the whole outcome of all of this is that I am happier than I was. Once you come to accept it, life gets easier. I do avoid people now, and my lifestyle is not what the vast majority of people would want, and indeed I get stick for it, but it works for me, I'm not harming anyone else as I'm not bothering with anyone else. It has its sacrifices, but they're worth it for the peace of mind.

TL;DR: everyone is a self serving prick, with the occasional one being somewhat nice for a while.

storker

banie01 wrote: »

Also would go against the "more right wing" as you age trope.

In my 40's and my current self would honestly take aside my idealistic younger self and shake him if I ever got the chance.
Not that my politics have changed all that much, but the utter lack of nuance or appreciation for other viewpoints.
The certainty of black and white rather than the actual reality of how the world works.

I'm not right wing but I can appreciate and understand and even agree with some of the viewpoints on the right, and while I would lean to the left of centre generally, modern leftism mostly does my head in. There too little nuance on both sides and the relatively recent massive increase in the choice, availability and speed of communication channels has come hand in hand with a shocking nosedive in the quality of debate.

Wibbs

OK PM, do you see yourself as a self serving prick who might be somewhat nice for a while, but will throw someone under the bus when push comes to shove?

PS I've known a few Guards in my time, only one AFAIK is still in it. The rest got burnt out from the daily grind, with a large sideorder of office politics in the organisation, some of it unreal. So I kinda hear you there.

munster87

I’ve found myself not liking a variety of different people of late for a variety of different reasons. I don’t outwardly mean to show this but I’m sure it is noticed. I have a very busy family life and feel I have isolated myself from some friends and work colleagues. I suppose Covid played a part too but socialisation outside of work has taken a huge dip! Not a great space to find yourself in.
As a result, and perhaps for some form of compensation (and human interaction beyond the regular), I started saying hello to absolutely everyone that I pass when walking the dog the past week or so.
Stopping to actually talk to strangers, striking up conversation. It’s a new experience, for a predominantly introverted person and it’s actually not bad.

An Ri rua

The Black Oil wrote: »

Thought this was about the Michael Douglas film.

Yeah? Well you're mistaken..
What are ya gonna do? Shoot the thread up?

Potential-Monke

Wibbs wrote: »

OK PM, do you see yourself as a self serving prick who might be somewhat nice for a while, but will throw someone under the bus when push comes to shove?

Yes, but I do my best to not put myself in a position where I can be asked. Don't get me wrong, I do stuff for the family and small circle of close friends. But I don't like doing it. I spent years blindly being taken advantage of due to being too nice, now I'm the opposite and at least I'm mentally better for it.

I try not to let my own problems be anyone elses, I deal with my own stuff and don't expect help. Main reason for that, is I don't want to be asked. I do me, everyone else can do themselves and we're all happier for it.

I'm only going to be here for another 40-60 years if I'm lucky, I'm gonna spend that time making sure I'm as happy as I can be. I wish I had done it sooner. And the difference is, at least I admit it, and don't try to hide behind a false persona of what society expects me to be. Society crapped all over me for years, and I've finally climbed out of it to the top of the pile. I'm still covered in crap, but most of it is below/behind me now.

I'm sure I come across as heartless, and I will self admit to having little to no empathy. I've done a few online tests, whatever they're worth, and I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum. Indeed, I seem to have more in common with my autistic nephew that anyone else. I sometimes think I should go get the test, but the only reason I think that is because I can, like my other nephew, use it as an excuse, and nobody appears brave enough these days to question it. "PM, what you said wasn't appropriate, you should apologise" - "Sorry, that's my ADHD/Autism, I can't help it". But I'm not bad enough to do that. Yet.

storker

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

I don't want lunch. I want breakfast.

We stopped serving breakfast at...er...(checks watch)...2300.

Slick666

munster87 wrote: »

I’ve found myself not liking a variety of different people of late for a variety of different reasons. I don’t outwardly mean to show this but I’m sure it is noticed. I have a very busy family life and feel I have isolated myself from some friends and work colleagues. I suppose Covid played a part too but socialisation outside of work has taken a huge dip! Not a great space to find yourself in.
As a result, and perhaps for some form of compensation (and human interaction beyond the regular), I started saying hello to absolutely everyone that I pass when walking the dog the past week or so.
Stopping to actually talk to strangers, striking up conversation. It’s a new experience, for a predominantly introverted person and it’s actually not bad.

I always find if you're passing someone, if you say hello and smile they will 99% of the time smile back and say hello. Ive noticed a few times in Dublin some say nothing of course and scowl on but some are shocked you said hello and you're literally past them and you hear them say hello back lol as they have got over the shock of a smile and hello in this day and age from a stranger

storker

Slick666 wrote: »

I always find if you're passing someone, if you say hello and smile they will 99% of the time smile back and say hello. Ive noticed a few times in Dublin some say nothing of course and scowl on but some are shocked you said hello and you're literally past them and you hear them say hello back lol as they have got over the shock of a smile and hello in this day and age from a stranger

Olivia2

Olivia2 wrote: »

Well at the grand old age of 39..I've finally got to the stage where I just ****ing hate people.

When did it happen to you?
Is it a phase? Will it end soon?
Should I become a recluse, hermit?

Im slightly younger than you and I think age is a factor as I have experienced something similar.

In my line of work I see the the negative side of human nature reveal itself on a daily basis. This makes me predisposed to negative thoughts of others.

When you start thinking of why you hate a particular person change the subject in your mind immediately.

You can bitch about the annoying people to friends or colleagues but that will reflect bad on you.

I think another solution would be to reveal yourself to the positive side of human nature by picking up a hobby where that is possible.

nj27

The opposite happens too, some people are basically decent until confronted by a real buchiach and they get scared by that experience and try to toughen up to prepare for another future encounter. As you grow up and achieve things through struggle which develops your confidence and gives you actual character, enabling you to recognise that you don't have to worry about coming across a nasty type because you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Then you're just this all around chilled out type because you're not threatened by the possibility of the situation going sideways on you. You're basically a saint on ert.

Kids are the real psychos. A kid will kill you, straight up, no questions asked.

Wibbs

Potential-Monke wrote: »

YSociety crapped all over me for years,

Well that's going to fcuk with anyone's head to be fair. That is one aspect of human nature(though it varies with culture), where if you're any way considered out of the norm you will get noticed and picked on, especially as a kid. And unless you find yourself with others like you as mates and a community of your own against that "norm" screwing with you that's really going to fcuk with your head.

I've done a few online tests, whatever they're worth, and I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum. Indeed, I seem to have more in common with my autistic nephew that anyone else. I sometimes think I should go get the test, but the only reason I think that is because I can, like my other nephew, use it as an excuse, and nobody appears brave enough these days to question it. "PM, what you said wasn't appropriate, you should apologise" - "Sorry, that's my ADHD/Autism, I can't help it". But I'm not bad enough to do that. Yet.

TBH I have long suspected that quite the number that are now considered "on the spectrum" are actually neurotypical people, that have become neuroatypical, or act like it because of childhood and especially adolescent emotional trauma that quite understandably made them retreat from the general sociability as a self preservation mechanism. Modern western consumerist society is remarkably fractured and pressures are very high, so not a shock it has driven more of this mindset. It's certainly a far cry from how people lived throughout our history and prehistory. I remember reading a study of tribal societies and they found no examples of social phobia. I'd bet the farm their levels of on the spectrum people would be lower too. Yes it has a genetic component, but so does type 2 diabetes, but thats also very rare among tribal types.

Greyfox

Potential-Monke wrote: »

TL;DR: everyone is a self serving prick, with the occasional one being somewhat nice for a while.

I think the majority of people are sound and horrible people are in the minority and learning how to avoid horrible people is an important skill to learn, but then again i was never a guard. If you go to any meetup group you'll find its full of friendly people and been friendly on a surface level is all you should expect from new people. Most people are also juggling loads of different things at the same time so often you may just be catching that person at a bad time when their focus is on something else.

Potential-Monke

Oh I agree, but I find it's far easier to expect people to be pricks and for them to prove otherwise, than to expect someone to be sound and they turn out to be a prick. With my line of thinking, anyone who isn't a prick is a little bonus, but if I'm right then there's no loss if they do turn out to be a prick.

As Wibbs said, when you do anything different to the societal norm, you stand out. I'm about as opposite as you can get from the societal norms. I'm 38, live at home with my parents, I spend about 80% of my free time either gaming or watching anime/films/tv series. I've hate babies and have no interest in children. The odd time I used to go out, it was to go into a group of like minded friends to play D&D or other games, or just a smoking sesh. We, as a group, rarely talked about anything political, as there's no happy medium there and we knew that. We talked about what we liked, and left the divisive heated stuff outside.

I'm quite content to live the rest of my life like this. TBH, my main reason for staying alive is the future of tech, I'm excited to see where tech will go. Other than that, there isn't really anything to spur me on. But what's the harm with that? If I'm not harming anyone else, whats the harm? But people will continue to tell me that it's not right to live like this, simply because it's so different to what they expect and try to live up to, that it scares them imo. I know my best friend, married with 2 kids, is completely jealous of my life. He would love to do what I do, but his own version of it. Just like everyone who says what they would do with the spare time I have if they had it, they most likely wouldn't.

One thing my lifestyle did help with was Covid. While most people were, and still are, losing their crap over places still being closed, and not being able to meet up and socialise and go to over-crowded pubs and clubs and sport events and concerts... I was happy out at home every day. But I'm beginning to rant now. I'll leave it with, I've tried most if not all of the things people have suggested to get out there, meet new people, etc. It took all those attempts and a stark conversation with myself to realise, I'm just not that person. I don't think I ever was, but I went with what society expected of me. This life I have now isn't for everyone, but I think a lot more people would choose it if it wasn't so looked down upon.

sporina

Potential-Monke wrote: »

Oh I agree, but I find it's far easier to expect people to be pricks and for them to prove otherwise, than to expect someone to be sound and they turn out to be a prick. With my line of thinking, anyone who isn't a prick is a little bonus, but if I'm right then there's no loss if they do turn out to be a prick.

As Wibbs said, when you do anything different to the societal norm, you stand out. I'm about as opposite as you can get from the societal norms. I'm 38, live at home with my parents, I spend about 80% of my free time either gaming or watching anime/films/tv series. I've hate babies and have no interest in children. The odd time I used to go out, it was to go into a group of like minded friends to play D&D or other games, or just a smoking sesh. We, as a group, rarely talked about anything political, as there's no happy medium there and we knew that. We talked about what we liked, and left the divisive heated stuff outside.

I'm quite content to live the rest of my life like this. TBH, my main reason for staying alive is the future of tech, I'm excited to see where tech will go. Other than that, there isn't really anything to spur me on. But what's the harm with that? If I'm not harming anyone else, whats the harm? But people will continue to tell me that it's not right to live like this, simply because it's so different to what they expect and try to live up to, that it scares them imo. I know my best friend, married with 2 kids, is completely jealous of my life. He would love to do what I do, but his own version of it. Just like everyone who says what they would do with the spare time I have if they had it, they most likely wouldn't.

One thing my lifestyle did help with was Covid. While most people were, and still are, losing their crap over places still being closed, and not being able to meet up and socialise and go to over-crowded pubs and clubs and sport events and concerts... I was happy out at home every day. But I'm beginning to rant now. I'll leave it with, I've tried most if not all of the things people have suggested to get out there, meet new people, etc. It took all those attempts and a stark conversation with myself to realise, I'm just not that person. I don't think I ever was, but I went with what society expected of me. This life I have now isn't for everyone, but I think a lot more people would choose it if it wasn't so looked down upon.

so I gather you didn't miss hugs during peak covid times?

Potential-Monke

sporina wrote: »

so I gather you didn't miss hugs during peak covid times?

Not in the slightest. Well, no more than I missed them anyway, but I was over that well before Covid.

amacca

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117610512#Comment_117610512

Sorry not used to how to snip out the bit you want to quote with new site but its the last paragraph there, I suspect the same. IMO there are obviously people with autism and its got nothing to do with or didn't develop due to emotional trauma in adolescence etc but some and I dont know what percentage (perhaps very small perhaps not) could very well be a product of the environment imo...I've often wondered if processed foods consumed by parents, having kids later in life (due to wanting to be financially secure to support them) and increased stresses imposed by the society on parents etc would have anything to do with it.....then I think about those tribal societies and how their pressures were probably different and immediate ie:survival........the task then was probably simple with less sideshows, distractions/nuances....... eat, survive, have sex, find allies, believe whatever crazy **** your group believed and conform or probably die........

Then I think about evolution and how important it is to have variation in species to ensure its survival and wonder what niche is there for these adaptations in our society as it evolves and what will be the most successful traits 100-1000-10000 years from now given 99% of all species to exist on this have died out. I think theres so much we dont understand about the world around us it leads to a very unhappy existence for a lot of people but thats unlikely to change anytime soon.