Liveline: Thread with no name, Host with no shame

16-11-2021 2:21pm

PROJECT JOEBOT

Each morning de Liveline research staff have their work cut out for them as Joe feeds his protuberance on a briny brunch of coddle stew with Doobalin bay oysters hand-picked from de shores of Clontarf.

I endeavour to make this task much less of a burden, by selling RTÉ an app whereby I will put into practice what I’ve learned of JavaScript an all dat palaver. Joe can then sit back and relax with his rich roast Indonesian coffee which lent its name to it, as he awaits his ultimate retirement when a higher form of intelligence takes command in the form of AI JOEBOT.

It is proposed that an online form to be made available to callers as an alternative to making contact by de simplest email in de wurrld, whilst this website is likewise proposed to be open 24 hours a day once de RTÉ server isn’t powered down for de night to save on rising presenter-power bills. For those who prefer to contact by dial-up there is a parallel Liveline staff interface whereby social meeja bookmarks, rip notices etc can be appended.

In time, the entire Liveline studio and show can be totally automated. JOEBOT should be an entirely simple development as there’s not much intelligence to be synthesised and replicated. By default it will be a Higher Intelligence than the Joe in de flesh. A simple machine ad the original has few enough neuronal connections.

First thing first I’m hereby in hot pursuit of ideas for a set of conditionals which would determine whether callers could/should get onto de show.

First I need suggestions for a set of ELIMINATORS, past which no further questioning will be pursuant.

Once past the hurdle of the eliminators, I then need conditionals which would set the POSITIVE criteria for getting on de show. There’d have to be at least one qualifier to enable caller to be added to the Callers database.

At the end of the day Joe / researchers need to determine:

Does this caller basically qualify to get on de show as decided by Eliminators and at least one Positive criterion? That’s a Boolean Yes or No.
If Yes, •should• they get on the show? The up-ticked applicants would then go onto a database with contact details and a set of tags that could be matched to the tagged content of any given show.
Joe sets the Agenda of each show, so that’s already laid out in stone. The Show database is daily populated by him with the requisite tags, eg Cancer, Death, Matress Mick, 1916, Fibregade, etc.
An automated search query is generated upon the addition of each new applicant and callers are matched for de show, so to speak. Daily a query is run to update old callers in case they should be re-called, so to speak.
As de show runs Joe is prompted to ask de questions merely by the tags which pop up as he refreshes his his screen; tuples such as (Meeshell, Tallaght) and arrays such as (mother, cancer) updating eg to (mother, dead) could underpin de prompts. “So Meeshell from Tallaght is on line 1; Meeshell I believe your mother has cancer? Tell me, is she in a lot of pain?” “Oh wait a minute I have an update, is it true she doyed? How did it make you feel?”
The AI JOEBOT (to later replace Joe) model’s drive would be pre-loaded with stock responsive phrases, eg… IF DEAD, audio.log.Doobalinese (“safe in de arms of Mary”) ELSE audio.log.Doobalinese (“de heavier de burden de stronger de shoulders do be gettin”)

Voilà! we have the ultimate Liveline package, available for a modest fee of 10% of Joe’s salary to be negotiated via a certain Mr Kelly.

Now, please, inspire me with suggestions for:

A. De Conditionals dat would eliminate a caller.

B. De Conditionals dat would progress a caller onto de Caller database.

withless · 16-11-2021 2:28pm

A. Bad line when its someone pointing out a fallacy in de discussion making the whole thing pointless

B. Bad line when its an pal of de show

16-11-2021 2:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118174792#Comment_118174792

That’s a secondary application to be developed later, cawlur and will be named: De Call Management App. I haven’t got dat far in my course yet. When JOEBOT is up and running I’ll update him with a patch which will automatically end calls upon intelligent counter-argument, but this is very advanced stuff out of my league atm. Defining the counter-arguments would take some thinking out, yet one could start simple by auto detection of the wurd BUT uttered by caller in a raised decibel. It would risk Joe-approved callers being cut off unintentionally and the studio might want its money back.