Is it weird to be single at 30?

ancapailldorcha

Mid-thirties. It'd be nice but I'd rather be single than be trapped in a relationship that wasn't right. Especially if children are involved.

jj880

Not weird at all.

Just dont panic and go for the first lunatic that shows you some attention. Ive seen a few do this because they are worried about being "left on the shelf". Happened a close friend of mine. 6 months later shes pregnant and hes crying to me when he's drunk: "what the fvck have I done?!".

yourdeadwright

Nearly married myself but nothing weird about being single ,

I know way to many people who have kids and have bought houses together and hate the sight of each other,

You know what's weird doing stuff that doesn't make you happy , You have to make yourself happy that what life's about ,

My missus hates hearing me say it but we are born alone we will die alone , You can't rely on someone else to make you happy every single person in your life can disappear in the blink of an eye & some will , So self happiness will always be key ,

JohnnyChimpo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118002644#Comment_118002644

???

???????

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118007630#Comment_118007630

I think most people would rather be single than trapped in a horrible relationship. Those aren't the only two options though, right? There's also being in a good relationship.

But whatever age you are, being single or not isn't weird. You can also be divorced, separated, widowed, partnered, engaged, married etc etc.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118008636#Comment_118008636

I didn't say that those were the only two options so I don't know why you're pretending that I did.

Sure, a good relationship would be great but it's not unreasonable to think well of being single when you see some of the stress and hassle some people in relationships have to deal with.

BASHIR

Anyone who cares is a dose. You wouldn't want to be listening to their opinion anyway. Do what you want.

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118008657#Comment_118008657

I didn’t say you did, I was adding to your point.

Defensive much?

Its noy weird to be a 30 y o singleton if you are divorced

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118012613#Comment_118012613

Not at all. This is what you said:

Those aren't the only two options though, right?

So my response is perfectly logical.

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118012851#Comment_118012851

The use of the word "right" there with a question mark means I know you already understand it. I'm confirming that before I expand.

The other term for that linguistic mechanism is a rhetorical question. It's used to further develop a point, or confirm an obvious answer. (ie, "yes, obviously there are more options" )

I'm not "pretending" you said anything. Apologies if English isn't your first language, hard to tell online.

thefallingman

it's probably acceptable to marry yourself these days

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118012971#Comment_118012971

When I was living in Brighton, some woman actually did this. Had a ceremony and everything.

She's decided to write a book about it:

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/17568957.brighton-woman-writes-book-married/

whisky_galore

It is preferable to being under the shadow of the rolling pin as some lads are or, god forbid, dealing with screaming crap factories of kids. Like owning a pet, but the animal shelters won't take them in when you tire of them.

But each to their own, maybe dealing with baby faeces with a radioactive half-life is what some folks like.

bnt

The kids part is important: if, like me, you never wanted any, that takes off much of the pressure to get in to relationships, plus it makes it harder as a straight guy (since the majority of women want kids, or used to). I have a friend who really wanted kids, and so he pushed harder than I did and got what he wanted by 30.

I'm 40 and single. I never wanted kids or settling down until recently. Perhaps I left it too late.

manonboard

36 M here.

Single from time to time. Relationships come and go. I think for alot of people, the relationships in the 20's just proved to be incompatible with who they are by the time they are in their 30s. Makes ALOT of sense. The odds of two people developing themselves and ending up compatible in their 30s when they met in the 20s is pretty slim.

People stay together out of convivence, fear, and kids mostly. If they met their current partner at the current age, i think they'd rarely pick them.

I think its far more likely a relationship started in your 30s will last longer, as you are both far more developed and started to be the person you likely will stay.

Kids obviously play a huge role their too. The crazy desire for sex is also much more manageable in the 30s, and alot less insecurity driven behavior.

I'd like to meet a forever type of partner, but it just hasnt happened yet. I grow mentally and emotionally alot, as i had alot of growth that was needed. So now that im pretty healthy and happy, it really raises the standard and the requirements for that 'forever' person. In my 20s i had **** standards and i was a **** partner. Too stupid to know what healthy good dynamics were. Too insecure to be happy with what i had.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118013692#Comment_118013692

Good points made here. I'm a far more balanced person now than I was ten years ago so I reckon if I had a LTR now it would be much better. All I need to find is an equally balanced partner! 😁

mary 2021

I think you are lucky to be single and even wise as i watch women more & more they are horrible creatures so fake and drag quenn like in appearance alone and as to their entitle behaviour. Every year you are able to enjoy life with out on e is a long life of serenity for you !! if you want children than you may have to tolerate their bullshit but soon the real life robots will give all single men a little comfort without the drama !!

mary 2021

I think!

Seathrun66

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058212428/is-it-weird-to-be-single-at-30

Not at all. I was single at 30 then in a relationship again a year later. Single again at 37 and back in a relationship again at 43. Don't sweat it and/or feel anxious about it. Most people are too busy focusing on their own lives and issues to spend too much time contemplating those of others.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118013357#Comment_118013357

Truth be told, I've sort of just given up at this stage. Kids, and I'm probably taking the easy way out here, aren't really worth thinking about since I'm only half of what's needed to make 'em. I've just gotten used to being free and am making the best of it. Maybe I'd be happier with them but, even if I met someone tomorrow, 37-40 is the very earliest I'd be having them and that's on the cusp of being a bit too old IMO.

Seathrun66

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118014276#Comment_118014276

37-40 not too old from my experience. My male pals and I almost all had kids in our very late thirties or forties. My female pals had kids roughly between 31 and 43.

Of course it's more tiring and draining than when you're younger but I wanted the chance to travel and live a little. Upsides and downsides to all choices but I think I'd have (unfairly) resented the restrictions on my life had I had kids in my 20s or 30s. The latter decade the best I ever had, still relatively young at 35/36 but with greater maturity and usually with more cash to spend.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118002673#Comment_118002673

women prefer men that have hit "the wall"