Older people who are intimidated by younger people

Brid Hegarty

Two certain men I know have stood out to me in this way recently. There's a younger guy who's started at our company recently and I've noticed the way they act around him. It could be something like if he makes a good joke they won't laugh. I wouldn't really have noticed it until the other day when he was about to say something that I was interested in and he was interrupted. They insist in treating him that little bit differently because of no other reason other than the fact that he is younger than them.

He's obviously meant to think that they're wiser than he is, but I don't know if they are really. I have no problem giving him my full respect or sharing knowledge with him about the job. But it says so much about the insecurity of these guys. There's something small minded about it. Have ever noticed similar behaviour?

Yes. Twenty years ago I got pulled into the office about then my supervisor , who was 9 years my junior.

Told to accept his bravado.

I Left the job because the contract finished up and I got another job 15 months later.

In that job, older lady colleague developed serious issue against younger lady colleague, same young wan annoyed me too. The younger colleague again was the a$$hole and an utter hypocrite as well.

ErnestBorgnine

They didn't laugh at his joke?

He needs to get on to HR to launch a Workplace Investigation.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070552#Comment_118070552

I wasn't implying they're bullying him. What is it with boardies and snide remarks?

bnt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070575#Comment_118070575

Bullying is in the eye of the beholder: if the kid decides he's being bullied, he'll be the one to go to HR.

I wouldn't blame those older guys if they're very cautious about how they interact with a kid from the "snowflake generation", at least until they get to know him better and see what he's made of. It might not be fair, but that's the message we're getting these days; you have to watch out for "micro-aggressions" and anything you say could be used against you.

boombang

Thought this was going to be a thread about knackers throwing fireworks at aul' wans...

ErnestBorgnine

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070575#Comment_118070575

So let's see, they didn't laugh at his joke & he was interrupted when he was about to say something. Occurrences that have happened to, at a guess, every employee who has shared a workplace in the history of the state. The poor lamb.

You then go on to explain to us how much better you treated this poor unfortunate than those other two horrid men. You being, it almost goes without saying, morally superior to them.

You reckon either of them is on the internet right now bitching about you??

JustJoe7240

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070818#Comment_118070818

I'd put money you're in the age profile the OP is talking about.

ErnestBorgnine

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070841#Comment_118070841

Everybody in that age profile are just plain dreadful

Eating my breakfast. Kate.

Strumms

In workplaces it’s generally the other way around.

ive found the older people get away with absolutely tonnes more then younger people... by virtue of being old or in corporate terms.. ‘senior’..

ive found younger people if they have an issue with a colleague will generally talk to that person and aim to resolve it.

older ones in cases I’ve seen would be slinking off to see a manager bitching...or in other cases I’ve witnessed one who repeatedly was trying to set up colleagues to fail and would not hesitate to kick it up the chain before it could be fixed..

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070818#Comment_118070818

You're missing the point again. I'm not implying he's had it hard because someone didn't laugh at his joke. Those were just meant as examples of why I suspect such. It's hard to explain... I guess you'd have to have been there.

He actually handled it pretty well. He said "it's a joke lads, it's a Friday afternoon".

Brid Hegarty

@Strumms or in other cases I’ve witnessed one who repeatedly was trying to set up colleagues to fail and would not hesitate to kick it up the chain before it could be fixed..

I'd like to hear more about that!

What people find funny or interesting is subjective.

Its possible your work colleagues don't find his jokes funny, or find his conversation as interesting as you do.

People who are at different stages of life have different interests and priorities, too. It would be a bit over-sensitive to take that personally.

In saying that, it is rude to interrupt someone when they're speaking.

pauliebdub

It could be a culture clash, older men being unable to relate to a 20 something hipster babbling along with a fake American accent who take offense very easily.

thefallingman

I'd say it's simply he thinks he knows it all Brid, like alot of the 20 and 30 somethings here, and probably me when i was that age, where as the older lads that have lived more and have more life experience just think he talks bollo**s

whisky_galore

I've seen a younger management alienating and forcing out an older staff member because he didn't fit in with their go-getter hip corporate image.

Didn't matter that he was getting lots of return business from happy customers.

thefallingman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118074450#Comment_118074450

Always get better service from an older staff member. All the best barmen i know are older

Strumms

On the other hand in my local, a regular occurrence.... last orders, one young barman taking orders behind the bar, two young lounge staff with the legs ran off them going from table to table and the 63 year old asshole or whatever old he is standing around jawing to a few gombeens in the corner about the match....he is looking around seeing his young colleagues under pressure, people Qing for drinks... he’s not well liked either side of the bar, arrogant and goes missing too often ... but the owner with a few drinks on him “ Peter, if you want to work as a fûcking statue of a lounge-girl I’m going to start paying you as one, come on “ to multiple cheers and a red face...

think it’s easier for younger people to get intimidated by older folk to be honest.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118070866#Comment_118070866

That's been my general impression too. Younger people are generally more flexible in modes of thinking, though have less experience. Experience can be a two edged sword though, because all too often it's another word for rigid we've always done it this way thinking. Add in seniority and you can get quite inflexible thinking among the older types further up the chain.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118074450#Comment_118074450

That's LinkedIn summed up.

Hangdogroad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058214664/older-people-who-are-intimidated-by-younger-people

Maybe the jokes aren't that good.

Oranage2

It's like a younger lion enters the pride, the aul Lion king doesn't like it. Unless the young lad shows submission to the old Boys they simply won't like him. Happens with women too

. .

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118078189#Comment_118078189

Usually people give a courtesy laugh.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118074450#Comment_118074450

What did they pin it on? They had to have pinned it on something else in order to get rid of him.

Badly Drunk Boy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118079229#Comment_118079229

You sound like you're looking for tips...🤨 😉

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118079229#Comment_118079229

Just getting him into situations that they knew well he didn't want to be placed in. Making it unbearable until he would eventually quit. Sneaky sh1t.

JimmyVik

In our place, when we were in the office, the older (40+) guys would be rather blunt. Like telling someone to cop on, or that was a sh!t joke. Or, you made a bollix of that didnt you. Now they always said it to each other too. not just new young bucks.

One new young buck reported a couple of them to HR for not respecting his input one day when they told him to crawl back out of his own arrse after he suggested we have a cake day every Monday. Well after that the old boys dont say a word in front of the younger ones for fear of another drama in a tea cup.

Billgirlylegs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118074450#Comment_118074450

Why do you think retirement is so popular among the old folk?😉

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118079724#Comment_118079724

It wasn't as if he was laying blocks on a site.

I'm in my mid forties, when I was in my mid thirties I went back into full time education and there was a student mid twenties in place next to me. She proceeded to spend the first few weeks politely instructing me as to how to operate a computer. I left her off because I figured she was just wanted to be helpful. After the first round of exams, (which involved all the parts she was instructing me on) I passed with distinction and she failed to grade. (a lot of people failed to grade) The leviathan was then released and from thence forth life stopped being worth living for. Admittedly, it was some older students and the class tutor who helped her get back on her horse by subjecting me to ostracization on the basis of my not being worthy. He was an evil bastid in all fairness.

So my point is, younger people can be y'know, uneducated and intolerant at times which can cause a lot of damage out of pure ignorance but older people can be vicious and vindictive in equally generous quantities.

Brid Hegarty

@rehome He was an evil bastid in all fairness.

He? Who's that? The tutor?

I don't get the joke you're trying to make with all that... if it is meant to be a joke!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118081156#Comment_118081156

why would I be joking about abuse? (just in case you're confused about the abuse reference, ultimately I ended up going to the Gardai and spent an hour in a victim support unit and yes, the tutor was named in that report. Following a suicide attempt.)

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118081472#Comment_118081472

Oh so you mean that she couldn't get her head around how you passed and she failed, so she started hating you?

You mean a suicide attempt on your part? Sorry to hear that.

SnuggyBear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118078853#Comment_118078853

Why? If its not funny it's not funny. Someone said something dumb to me the other day in work I was stone faced and they said cheer up will ya. I replied sorry did you say something funny? I am cnut though infairness.

SnuggyBear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118079687#Comment_118079687

Nice put down, lol

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084578#Comment_118084578

By all means, go for the Don Draper vibe if you want. I no doubt it will make some people try harder with their jokes around you!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118084396#Comment_118084396

A fair few heads failed to make the grade so it was a bit of a mobbing. The tutor was doing final exams of his own and failed a module which meant he failed the course so in attempt to assuage everyone's fear of failure, he decided to use me to demonstrate why having a qualification is irrelevant. Something like that anyway. It was 9 months of punishment for something you didn't do just so someone else could feel a bit better about themselves.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118078312#Comment_118078312

God no. People are not lions and should just be themselves in the workplace within reason.

He probably doesn't find them funny either. Just a clash and a clique. It happens. Are there any other younger staff that he would gel with more?

Anyway your quote reminds me of that episode in friends where Chandler keeps fake laughing at his bosses jokes 🤢

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ozA4wxqWqg0

Brid Hegarty

The young fella might be a bit of trouble alright. One of the old fellas complains a lot and he called him a drama queen. The old dog said ok lets see if you can do all that work so. To their surprise (and even mine) the young fella went and did it no bother. He had his moment but I think he might be in for more than he bargained, as that old guy is a though bully and has a lot of tacit knowledge about the job.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118087907#Comment_118087907

So the guy did all the work top notch? That's not not laughing at his jokes brid.

Perhaps you should change the title of the thread to 'older folks bullying younglings in the job' cause that's a total different scenario than you tried to describe in your op.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118088038#Comment_118088038

Well it wasn't that much work. They were just surprised he knew how.

Perhaps I should have explained myself better. The young fella is also educated and questions things... like the victim mentality in the group. This clashes with the narrative of the older guys who wouldn't be educated.

Flinty997

Do you think when that younger guy is the same age as those older guys he'll turn into a bully etc. the same as them. Or will he still be educated and funny and able to do the same work.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118099844#Comment_118099844

I wouldn't think so but who knows. Where are you going with that though?

Flinty997

Humor me. Why would he not turn into those guys.

Flinty997

I'll answer it then. If he won't turn into those guys then this has nothing to with age.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118100583#Comment_118100583

Maybe. I think it's more to do with them not liking the idea of him learning everything that they know about the job over the last 20 years in the space of a few weeks. It might make them feel a bit small.

silliussoddius

Here is a great article on this topic. I’m sure everyone can relate to the people mentioned in it, they sound like wonderful people who I’d like to spend time with

https://www.yahoo.com/news/37-olds-afraid-23-olds-155005589.html

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118100648#Comment_118100648

How about if an even younger person joins and can learn everything the previous guy took weeks to learn in a day. What then. Will he feel small and act like the older guys. Because thats what you're implying. How about they take on someone older than them all and she can learn it all in a hour. What then?

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118101502#Comment_118101502

Much of that is essentially Cinderella (or Walter Mitty) for Generation Z.

There's no doubt people are resistant to change, and more so the older you get. (Sometimes because you realize its change for change sake).

But the concern is that Social Media, gives people unrealistic expectations of instant reward, as thats what Social Media seems to be selling.