Unaccompanied Child in Hotel Lobby

NickNickleby

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118107885#Comment_118107885

Unable to selectively quote, so just to say, I FULLY understand the last paragraph. Who wouldn't want to inculcate a sense of independence in their child. I'm sure it'll work out just fine. but before you approach the hotel management, would you ask the manager of McDonalds the same thing? Doing so suggests there may be a reason to refuse, which can only have one outcome, if you get my drift.

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118107011#Comment_118107011

Might be also useful if linking to Japan to mention exceptionally low crime rates and extremely high conviction rates.

Fandymo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118107885#Comment_118107885

Fair play to you. You seem to be an excellent parent and your daughters maturity is a testament to that. Don’t worry about the “won’t somebody think of the children” replies. Ask on the hotel, they may be receptive.

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058216001/unaccompanied-child-in-hotel-lobby

I don't understand any of this. Why you would sit in the car for an hour. Or have a kid do the same in a hotel.

Why not both of you go to the hotel or a cafe, and both of you work in comfort.

But tbh if she walks home she can't that far from home. Get a her bicycle and she could cycle home then cycle back to football.

Or just pick her up then drop her back. if she can walk home it can't much of a drive.

Big Bag of Chips

You said your child walks home from school. So I assume school is pretty close. If you would be available to drive to collect her and sit in the car for an hour, could she not just walk home and you drop her back?

Do you collect her from soccer or does she walk home? As the evenings are getting colder, darker and potentially wetter I'd rather just drop and collect. Especially if it's only a few minutes away.

Call me Al

Yes, it's full of potential positives for you, but I don't see any upside for the hotel in question.

Quite the contrary in fact.

cruizer101

If she is going to buy a hot chocolate in the hotel I don't an issue. Plenty of people go to coffee shops and sit and read newspaper.

I'd be inclined not to ask can she stay as they will say no, if she is a customer there is no issue, maybe little cheeky staying for an hour for one hot chocolate but still fine.

josip

In each direction, it's a 7-10 minute drive/30 minute walk on a footpath.

Cycling is only an option if I accompany her, as it's a narrow, busy road and there's a steep hill that takes a bit out of you.

I'll always be collecting her after soccer, since she'd be tired afterwards and walking home on her own at 4.30 isn't something any of us want in Nov/Dec.

Big Bag of Chips

If she's safe enough to walk the road she should be OK to cycle it. She could always walk the bike up the hill.

7-10 minute drive. So why would you have to sit in the car for an hour, 2 hours if you include the actual soccer practice? Could you not collect her from school on soccer days. Bring her home, give her something quick to eat and then drop her to training and go back and collect her? Or drop her to training and wait.

I thought you might be working at the time and not available to collect her.

Suckit

@OP, I think it's great that you daughter is that independent and that you don't need to molly coddle her or wrap her up in cotton wool like so many others do, which seems to create much more problems than it solves. I agree with the other poster that said people seem to believe that the world is a lot more dangerous than it actually is, however, I would be slightly worried that somebody may get to notice her timetable appearing in the hotel lobby every monday. Is there another area in the hotel that she could go?

I guess it also depends on the hotel, many people are probably imagining a hotel front that you walk in off the street. Whereas the hotel nearest me is in it's own gardens and has a short drive up to it, and the lobby would be very quiet, and she could go there easily without having to worry, even with the darker nights etc.

I'm sure if you ask the manager they may be able to offer the best solution or an alternative, or may not want to help you at all. Hope you get it sorted whatever happens.

josip

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118108575#Comment_118108575

It's a narrow road with a lot of bends and cars have to wait behind bikes if meeting oncoming cars. Footpath is too narrow to cycle along, can barely handle 2 abreast in places. I don't trust every car to judge the overtake. Serious speeds reached on the decent and I don't think our daughter has enough experience yet to anticipate wet, leafy conditions. She tripped and fell once on the footpath but we only had to deal with scraped knees. On the bike it might have been more serious.

I'm not the most efficient, so 7-10 minutes of drive time turns into 15 minutes by the time I shoe up, grab a coat, keys, phone, glasses and allow a few minutes to arrive before scheduled time. That would only leave 30 minutes at home.

I am working full time from home, but am lucky enough to be able to juggle my hours. I'll still have to do the work later in the day, but am generally free to drop whatever I'm doing to do taxi-dad. My work requires long continuous periods of concentration though, so there's little point trying to do something meaningful in 30 minutes or less.

YFlyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058216001/unaccompanied-child-in-hotel-lobby

OP it is not always safe for a child to walk or cycle home.

Big Bag of Chips

I don't believe a 30 minute walk by an 11 year old child would equal a 10 minute drive.

But, to answer your original question. If your child goes to the hotel, buys a hot chocolate and sits there for an hour, once a week, nobody is likely to say anything. She could go into a coffee shop and do the same.

What was your reason for asking. You must have some reservations if you looked for the opinion of other parents.

Flinty997

Just turn disconnect work for an hour or so do it later, or do it early the next day. This isn't really about your daughter but your own time management. I'm not being judgmental, (we've all been there) its just being practical.

FGR

I'll put it this way..

This arrangement is made and happens weekly. Everything is fine and well until three months into it something happens. If the gardaí are involved and discover that an 11 year old was unsupervised in a hotel lobby they would probably not worry as it was a one off - if they learned that this was happening as a matter of course however I would have no doubt that a referral would be sent in to the HSE.

TUSLA's remit has become incredibly broad and all government bodies have been told to notify them at the slightest suggestion of negligence. Not suggesting that you would be a neglectful parent; but everything is fine until something happens.

josip

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118108970#Comment_118108970

It takes her 35 mins usually with a friend part of the way, but if she's on her own it's a little quicker. Google is telling me that it's now 7 min by car. This afternoon on the way to school, there was a common delay where an uncertain driver in front of me met a small lorry coming in the opposite direction and it took a couple of minutes before they figured it out.

I came on here to see if anyone else had done similar. Although what we're considering seems equivalent in practical terms to her library session, we are aware that it's a bit unusual and I was wondering if anyone else's 11yo did a similar wait in a non-standard location and if they had some advice.

Flinty997

It sounds like you have flexible hours. Why not use them.

standardg60

All i can say is OP is fair play to you and your daughter for having the common sense to see there is nothing wrong with her being a regular customer in a hotel for an hour one afternoon a week.

As you can see from some of the replies it was probably pointless asking for advice on here as most people are incapable of objectively weighing up the risks involved and emotively resort to the worst case scenario, which is beyond minimal.

I'd be far happier for my child to be in a hotel lobby with staff and public than a quiet library or dare i say it a church.

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118109279#Comment_118109279

Ironically, you're implying other public locations are dangerous. The OP is saying walking home or cycling is dangerous. So everyone's implying danger of some sort.

Happily the absolutely only solution left is the most convenient one. Who'd have guessed.

josip

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118110273#Comment_118110273

Just a minor correction on this, I think it's a dangerous road for cycling, nobody cycles to school along it. I think it's safe for walking.

ztoical

At her age I use to go to a local hotel after school for diner and to wait for my mum. My mum had set up an account there so I could order my diner and my mum would usually arrive 45mins after I arrived but sometimes she couldn't make it and I walked home. My mum was a GP and worked mad hours and my dad was working overseas. At the time I didn't think it was odd, I've had people say to me since that it was but it worked for us.

iamwhoiam

Why dont you both wait in the hotel rather than the car ? Your daughter could walk over from school and meet you there . She does her homework and has a hot chocolate , you could read a book with a coffee within ear shot . You sit there in the warmth with your book rather than in the car in the winter

Nekarsulm

Our daughter started using the Local Link bus from the town where her National School was, 12 miles to the County Town. She then walked a half mile to her piano class, and afterwards back into town centre and ordered a tea and a sandwich in the local hotel. ( probably more often cheesecake than a sandwich, but hey).

Then did a bit of homework untill I got out of work and picked her up.

Never a problem.

You just have to judge their maturity/street smarts yourself and go with that.

thehairygrape

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118108259#Comment_118108259

This.

She’s a customer. Good on you for teaching your child a bit of independence. I never realised hotel lobbies were so dangerous!!

As for social services, get a grip. They’ll hardly report a child who’s having a hot chocolate and doing her homework.