Severe anxiety about going to dentist after 10 years

Davink89 · 15-12-2021 11:45pm #1

Hi guys, just looking for words of encouragement or advice from people who have been in a similar position as myself. Growing up I never had the best teeth, purely down to me and hiding any problems I had from friends and family. As the years rolled on, my teeth started to decay more and more, which drove me into serious depression and anxiety, of which I still suffer to this day, and got to the point where I was too ashamed and scared to go hang out with friends, let along go to a dentist. I would just shut myself off from the outside world and sit in my house and binge on sugary drinks and snacks for comfort, even though I knew that was the very thing making my oral health worse, but that was the state of mind I was in. By the time I started going to college, all but 3 of my bottom teeth had rotted to the gumline, but managed to pull through by hiding it as my upper teeth were ok. After I graduated, my front tooth broke while I was eating and then it really started to go downhill from there.

I needed to go see a dentist, and after years of pure fear even thinking about a dentist, I did it, and it was just a horrible experience. The dentist was just so horrible, not welcoming at all, whispering to his colleagues in pure disgust after evaluating my situation, I walked out before he could even sit down properly and chat with me, and I said that was it, Im just gonna suffer. I sunk deeper into my depression and all my other teeth started to follow suit, breaking and then eventually rotting down to the gumline. I had given up completely, constant suicidal thoughts etc. I cant go to work, cant even eat properly, only soft foods, cant even eat a sandwich like a normal person as all my teeth are gone essentially. Seeing people around me settling down, having families, knowing I cant meet anyone to start that journey with is killing me inside, I dont want to be alone for the rest of my life.

So Im 32 now, after reading many blogs, ive realised that people have had similar experiences, and that all hope may not be lost, although im just so ashamed of myself for letting it get to this, and know the minute I go to a dentist again im going to be freaking out. Obviously I will need to get all my rotted teeth surgically removed from my gums, and get dentures put in (hoping to get this sorted using medical card). Has anyone had any experiences similar to mine? Any advice or suggestions on good dentists who wont judge me?

I would appreciate any input.

Dempo1 · 16-12-2021 12:01am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223048/severe-anxiety-about-going-to-dentist-after-10-years

Hi,

To be fair Dentists and indeed their Teams have in my experience been incredibly understanding and non judgemental and will work with you to address your dental problems. An initial exam will be done and whilst it looks like you'll need a lot of treatments they will discuss a treatment plan and help you over come any anxieties you may have. I'd also look at dentist reviews, perhaps talk to friends, family who might be able to recommend a good dentist.

There is a more concerning problem you may not be aware of. An enormous amount of Dentists are not taking on new patients or if they are, long waiting list to get seen. More of a concern is, few Dentists are actually doing any treatments under the Medical Card scheme anymore, a lot have withdrawn from the scheme completely, so expect to find it difficult to find a dentist and one who is doing treatments under the medical card scheme.

standardg60 · 16-12-2021 12:11am

So sorry to read that OP and i really feel for you.

Only thing i can say is you will feel ten times better if you do go to a dentist than you feel now, despite your previous experience.

If you give an idea of where you are i'm sure plenty of people will recommend particular dentists for you.

jimmycrackcorm · 16-12-2021 12:38am

I was pretty much like you op. I'm a good bit older and grew up in a family that wasn't well off so toothpaste was something I don't remember ever using until I was in my late teens. My teeth were pretty much in the same state yours were, lots missing and down to a few that only had only the bit below the gumline.

For decades it affected my confidence immensely and I had difficulties eating and being careful about smiling. Finally one of my front teeth broke in half and I decided to do something about it. I went to a clinic in Europe and got all my teeth sorted and I now have a full mouth of absolutely perfect teeth. It cost me less than 10k and a week there, compared to quotes of almost 30k here in Ireland.

Best thing I've ever done. Even though it's a few years now since I am still adjusting to how to smile. I have a sibling who was even worse and only had a handful of teeth. They were very badly affected by it but got dentures and are perfectly happy now. You need to go to a dentist and get an evaluation of your options, but you'd be crazy not to simply get something done even if it means getting your teeth pulled and getting dentures. But you will never regret spending the money as necessary to get sorted as I know only too well how miserable it constantly feels.

Abraham Thomas · 04-02-2022 11:10am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223048/severe-anxiety-about-going-to-dentist-after-10-years

GoogleBot · 19-02-2022 2:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223048/severe-anxiety-about-going-to-dentist-after-10-years

Don't worry. These days dentist give you anesthetic even for a small job. They don't want you to stress them crying out loud. Smile..

Abraham Thomas · 23-02-2022 12:13pm

Hi, First of all, this appears to be a terrible situation, and I sympathize with you. But I must caution you that if you continue to avoid seeing a dentist, your problem will only worsen. After an accident, I had a similar problem. I disregarded the need to see a dentist after losing half of my front teeth. But it got worse, and the condition of the other teeth suffered as a result. After almost a year, I went to the dentist and got a crown filling. After that, my confidence really went and I must admit, I was able to sleep better as well. You should see a dentist, it may be 8 or 9 sittings max and you will be better after that, you can go to another dentist after that if you have an issue with him/her.

magicbastarder · 23-02-2022 12:31pm

where are you based? maybe someone here can recommend a good dentist; i recently had my first proper trip to the dentist in about ten years and he was really sound, i'd be happy to recommend him, but it'd be a slim possibility you live nearby.

Flashdan · 31-05-2022 2:14pm

Hi,

I'm sorry to here about your situation. I had the same sort of thing. I had about 8 teeth taken out under general anesthetic and then left them all for years. I finally went to a dentist that did twilight sedation. I had a lot fixed but I was told I was biting the dentist a lot under sedation! So I couldn't go there again :(

So at the start of last year I decided to go again after my front teeth breaking. I did research and found a great dentist who was very very understanding. I explained my fears (the metal scrapper tool...thing) and she would then show me the equipment she was going to use and ask me if she was ok to use it.

I know it sounds extreme at 1st. I even took valium for the 1st couple of goes and slowly visit after visit I didn't need valium and then I was just going like a normal person and get my regular check ups.

Leaving all of this was a horrible idea. It is terrifying to go to start with but you WILL be ok after a while with the right dentist. If you want their info PM me as I don't think you can just post recommendations.

danoriordan1402 · 31-05-2022 2:55pm

Very similar story myself after I stopped going to the dentist following a bad experience during an extraction. The dentist was literally sitting on my chest practically trying to get the bugger out. Moving on years later kept avoiding it - even as I noticed my teeth weakening and some fell out naturally, and left residue behind, small roots, cracked teeth etc

Eventually I just bit the bullet - as a family we got vhi dental cover one year and herself and my daughter got great use out of it. I didn't.

Next year however I grew a pair and went in and they were very understanding, the will do an assessment, xrays showing what's present/missing etc ( avoid looking at the xrays lol ) and then come up with a plan. Usually stabilize where the teeth currently are and then work on a plan to either recover with implants or dentures ( two different types ), if there is sufficient existing teeth to support the dentures.

Good luck!

Will_Ray · 11-06-2022 12:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223048/severe-anxiety-about-going-to-dentist-after-10-years

Hello, Felt very sorry to hear that dental anxiety leads you to commit suicide. Thinking of suicide is not a solution to escape from your problems. Have you ever thought about your good qualities? The almightly decorated the world with elegant creations, one among them is you. So never think about spoiling it.

Not only your dental issue but also every problem has a solution. It would help if you overcame it. Everybody feels the same fear when closing a dentist, which is pretty natural. All dentists are not the same. Suppose you do not adjust with the present one better to choose another. Technology is growing up, and modern dentistry is far less painful. Most dentists know how to treat a person who has dental anxiety. So stop self-punishment, be calm, consult a good dentist near you, and live a life with a beautiful smile always. Not only dental disorders but also

Will_Ray · 15-06-2022 10:26am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223048/severe-anxiety-about-going-to-dentist-after-10-years

Hello, Felt very sorry to hear that dental anxiety leads you to commit suicide. Thinking of suicide is not a solution to escape from your problems. Have you ever thought about your good qualities? The almightly decorated the world with elegant creations, one among them is you. So never think about spoiling it.

Not only your dental issue but also every problem has a solution. It would help if you overcame it. Everybody feels the same fear when closing a dentist, which is pretty natural. All dentists are not the same. Suppose you do not adjust with the present one better to choose another. Technology is growing up, and modern dentistry(https://www.dentistoakville.com/services/emergency-dentistry/) is far less painful. Most dentists know how to treat a person who has dental anxiety. So stop self-punishment, be calm, consult a good dentist near you, and live a life with a beautiful smile always. Not only dental disorders but also. Everybody feels the same phobia when approaching a dentist, and it is pretty natural. Technology is growing up, and modern dentistry is far less painful. Most dentists know how to treat a person who has dental anxiety. So stop self-punishment, be calm, consult a good dentist near you, and live a life with a beautiful smile always.

Nardeant · 15-06-2022 4:08pm

I understand your feelings very well because I myself go through all this and I just can’t bring myself to decide to go to the dentist again

Louise A. Garcia · 02-07-2022 8:18pm

I'm so sorry to hear this, and I can completely understand because I have gone through the same situation, and I know how horrible it is.

Davink89 · 12-02-2023 6:18pm

Thanks for all the comments guys, well I took the plunge and went to a dentist, now have a treatment plan on getting all the extractions. I start on Wednesday. Thanks for all your well wishes, much appreciated, feel so much better for going in and having an understanding and kind dentist.

NotTotallySure · 27-02-2023 4:36pm

I hope it goes well for you. And that the dentist is understanding. My dental anxiety has skyrocketed in recent years.

LouLouBubbles · 27-02-2023 4:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120232753#Comment_120232753

Ah well done Davink89! You won't know yourself!

tringle · 21-03-2023 7:35am

How are you getting on with the treatment. I avoided the dentist for years and was getting to the stage of holding my hand over my mouth when talking. I plucked up the courage to make an appointment and got a recommendation from a family member. I went in and before I sat down I said to him "my teeth are in shite condition but I'm not here for judgement just treatment, now what can you do and know that I am terrified". 7 visits and 13 fillings later I am smiling and have two visits left.

Hope you are feeling a lot happier in yourself

Severe anxiety about going to dentist after 10 years

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