Anyone 25+ live with their parents?

Potential-Monke

You're fierce judgmental.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486637#Comment_118486637

Thanks for sharing this

Pissy Missy

I lived away when I started college in my late teens. I took on a course in an area of mental health that after your degree, you were expected to work for free and predominantly do a masters. You would then need to have several years of relevant work experience, usually voluntary or very low pay, to apply to specialise at doctorate level and thus have a living wage. After doing my 2nd masters in my late 20s as my background wasn't competitive enough 'to be good enough' to get onto the doctorate, I was involved in a serious accident and left with potentially life long health issues and had to move back home with my parents surviving off disability allowance and left with college debt and medical bills. Im so lucky how kind my parents are and I do what I can to help out but the feeling of being a burden and a failure overwhelms me at times. This is not how I pictured my life in my early 30s.

Tonesjones

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119177002#Comment_119177002

Nothing of what happened to you is your fault and it doesnt define you either.

Achieving 2 masters shows someone with mental strength and discipline to see something through. You'll find a way.

c.p.w.g.w

I have 1 buddy currently still at home(35)...

His in a decent job, has good savings...but the largest mortgage he can get wouldn't buy him a shoebox due to being on his own

KilOit

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119167903#Comment_119167903

Nothing wrong with me. Was living at home in my early 30's and saved up a huge deposit and bought a forever home in South Dublin with my wife. Traveled the world as well on a career break. Beats the hell out of eating microwave noodles in a house share just so you can say your a so-called adult because you moved out and paying someone else's mortgage.

I say stay at home if parents are happy with it, pay up a small fee and save and till you can afford a nice place to live

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119177033#Comment_119177033

Thank you for your kindness 🤗

The Mighty Quinn

I've nothing against people living with their parents in principle, if both parent and child are okay with it.

That said, what I find a really bad look is when I see men - and it is mostly men from my experiences - living at home when they're 30+, yet behaving like 13 year olds, expecting mammy to have the meals cooked, the bedroom cleaned, the washing done, the bed sheets changed etc.

If living at home and contributing to the home (be it financially, or otherwise, cooking meals, keeping place clean etc) great, but if it's to be waited on hand and foot by an aging parent and stay like some sort of perpetual teenager... well, that's crap.

antimatterx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119179303#Comment_119179303

Agreed. I'm 26 at home and do everything myself. Cook, clean pay my own bills, pay some household bills, buy my own food / food for the house. So my own washing (Although my mother tries to get very controlling over this).

My brothers on the other hand (24, 22) won't do anything. They won't clean up after dinner, they expect my mother to do it, they won't cook dinner. They expect my mother to clean their clothes, drop them every where they want. It does my head in.

o1s1n

I honestly don't know how people in their 20s can afford to move out these days. There's absolutely no shame in still living at home with the market in such a shambles. It's changed so much in the last decade.

I remember my first rental spot, a two bedroom, top floor apartment (4th floor I think?) on Gloucester Street in Dublin (so really close to Pearse Station and Trinity) with a big wrap around balcony and unobscured view of the mountains was €1,150 a month. I was 24 at the time, so 14 years ago. Absolutely oodles of space and about a quarter of my income a month (which I thought was really expensive at the time!) split between two people.

Just had a look and a 1 bed ground floor apartment in the same complex just rented for €1,795. I'd imagine that 2 bed I used to rent for €1,150 is now approaching €2,500.

Honestly if I were in my 20s and having to do it now all again I'd probably have emigrated. And this is coming from someone who never wanted to emigrate.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119175399#Comment_119175399

You should have laughed at her for sleeping with you.

yagan

We're taken in the mother in law during Covid and her house now sits empty. She's very elderly and a mild case of covid would have finished her off. We looked into it before but I don't think it can be sold or rented out without affecting her fair deal scheme if her care becomes more than we can provide.

I reckon that attitude changed in the 50/60s babyboomer move to the burbs. I can imagine parents not wanting to leave the neighbourhoods where all their friends are and where they raised their families in but their own kids preferred the greater space now available in the rapidly expanding burbs.

I guess we had that rapidly in the 90s and 00s when people fled the little terraced houses that once reared average families of five/six kids for the sprawling semi D estates surrounding the most Irish towns and cities, the parents staying in the old neighbourhoods. That's certainly the story of my all my siblings and their partners.

On the chart that started this discussion I have a Finnish friend who says they're now having huge problems with trying provide care for those living alone in old age and that in Ireland it's much easier as people tend to live in closer communities than the one off housing sprawl she grew up in. I've had the same said to me by a paramedic in Australia who said no one talks about all the shut-ins which I can only imagine has gotten worse since Covid.

One thing I must stress about our situation is that we're not on top of eachother. Luckily there's enough room in our house that we can all do our own thing without disturbing eachother but I know that's not possible for everyone. If we had moved in with her into her little terraced house we'd have gone bonkers.

Sugar_Rush

Last cabinet debate on this, one party member was cussing out another party member for blocking/obstructing the development of a series of 1 bed apartment blocks....... possibly in Dublin/Belfast.

But the contention was 1 bed apartments in general are considered unsuitable.

Which couldn't be further from the truth.

I personally believe autonomy has skyrocketed by way of technological advancement.

tonycascarino

I personally don't see anything wrong with people living at home 25 + so long as they are saving and aiming towards getting a mortgage for their own place. Of course everyone's circumstances are different but it sure is a far better idea than wasting ones time paying huge rents in Dublin or the likes for the rest of your life and owning nothing at the end of it.

HerrKuehn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119177087#Comment_119177087

You can do both, move out, rent and save a "huge" deposit as you put it, to buy a house in SCD. I did exactly that. It just requires a habit of saving starting from early on. Really, when you finish college you need to start accumulating savings.

HerrKuehn

I notice most of the defensive comments are focused mainly on the perspective of the 30 something year old children. Do any of you think that parents might find the situation a bit undesirable? I am sure most parents would put up with it but it would certainly not be an ideal situation.

A lot of the comments are along the lines of "why would you pay someone elses mortgage", basically the "rent is dead money" excuse. You are adults and are in most cases (not all obviously) able to put a roof over your head and provide for yourself.

Gant21

The attitude is horrendous now, it’s the self entitlement of I should get a council house. The country isn’t building any houses privately any more just ghettos.

phonypony

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182613#Comment_119182613

'It just requires a habit of saving starting from early on. Really, when you finish college you need to start accumulating savings'.

It requires far more than a savings habit. It requires a very good salary, many years of sacrifice and a whole lot of luck. Finishing college, getting a grad job on €26k and trying to find a place to rent, pay for the commute and survive is not going to give you much chance of saving a decent, never mind 'huge', deposit.

HerrKuehn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182710#Comment_119182710

26k is very much on the low end for a graduate salary and graduates tend to see raises over the years.

highdef

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119175399#Comment_119175399

Never heard of Steinberg and don't care for his own thoughts.

Myself and my husband are currently (since last November) living with my parents-in-law. We had been living in our own home for the 12 years previous. I just turned 43 last week. We do have our own home that we bought late last year. It's not quite habitable yet until we get running water sorted. I've no issues with regards to where I am living at the moment. I don't know of anyone who has given a vibe that they are judgemental of me but then again I don't associate with people of that ilk.

In these days of equality, it's a bit concerning that you say that females would be more judgemental of the scenario of a male in his 30's living living with his parents even if the reasons for doing so are justified. To me, that seems extremely selfish to have that opinion. As for the teenage girl who baulked because as a young man, you were living with your parents......I hope she was quickly removed from your life as she seems to have been a horrible cnut!

phonypony

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182764#Comment_119182764

Correct. But even on a median salary of €36k, netting ~€2,500/month, rent/food/transport/heating leaves very little (if anything) for any savings in much of the country. And this is without what many would see as essential additional spending like health insurance and pension contribution.

Your scenario of moving out, renting and saving enough of a deposit for a house in South County Dublin currently applies to a very narrow and privileged group.

HerrKuehn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182918#Comment_119182918

He is a Psychologist who has studied adolescence as his specialty and came up with the idea of the extended adolescence that we see today. I think you might be being a bit harsh on the girl, she was from a different culture where living at home in your 20's was seen differently. I can say at the time, around 2002, a lot of my friends from growing up (average working class area) were quite happy living at home indefinitely as "rent is dead money" apparently. The people I met through college and work were all a lot more independent at that age though. It seems over time it has become more acceptable here. I don't regard moving back for a bit while you get renovation works done is the same thing at all.

Also, I am really just looking at it from the parents point of view as it seems all the views here are what is best for the child. While most parents will allow their kids to stay living in the family home into their 30's, I would say very few would regard it as desirable or ideal (obviously not those needing care etc). So, for those who prefer to live at home instead of "paying someone else's mortgage", do you think of the impact it has on your parents life?

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182937#Comment_119182937

How much is your average house share room at the moment? about 800?

2,500 minus 800 on rent leaves 1,700 to live on and save. If you were a frugal single person / couple with no children and both earners you could save a decent amount on that.

Not saying that person could afford a home in South Co.Dublin by the way, you'd need a much higher salary than that to do so, but there's definitely room on that salary to save.

phonypony

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119184347#Comment_119184347

Definitely room to save, but not much. If you assume that single person sharing at €800/month, needing a car (and all the added expense that entails), maybe €10k a year in frugality for bills/groceries/transport/unforeseen expenses, that leaves about €10k a year max for savings (assuming no pension, health insurance or holidays).

Add that to your €126k maximum mortgage and you'll be saving at least 10-12 years to afford an apartment in Meath/Kildare at today's prices.

Let's be honest; it's grim.

HerrKuehn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119184474#Comment_119184474

You could do without a car and yes, it might involve saving for 10 years.

Trigger Happy

I moved out of the family home at 17 and never looked back.

But my son who is now 11 will not have the same luxury. I dont know if he will be still be living with us at 25 but it might not be far off it.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119184474#Comment_119184474

I think it's safe to say the days of single earners applying for mortgages are well and truly over unfortunately!

If you take that 36,000 as two graduates together in a couple, so 72,000 total, you're now looking at a 252,000 mortgage potentially.

4 years saving 500 a month from that 1,700 left over after rent (especially if they're only spending 400 each on the room in the house share if they're splitting it) and they'd have almost 50k saved between them.

Would then be hitting in and around 300k with the mortgage included.

If they wanted they could do the above for 2 years rather than 4 and have about 275k.

Still not South County Dublin stuff but it really does show you the power of a joint mortgage application in so far as options available thereafter.

Does make me wonder if you'll start seeing more and more platonic friends going in on houses together to buy.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119184642#Comment_119184642

Wouldnt be bad if platonic friends started doing that. Probably have more success than a lot of marriages

fatbhoy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172225#Comment_119172225

That house has Pyrite.

THIS PROPERTY HAS CONFIRMED PYRITE, REMEDATION WORKS INCOMPLETE

THIS PROPERTY IS NOT SUITABLE FOR PARTIES OBTAINING FINANCE/MORTGAGE

Princess Calla

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119184642#Comment_119184642

In the height of the Celtic tiger some of my friends bought together or siblings bought together. Single mid 20's foot on the property ladder investment had increased before they even got the keys and kept on rising etc (and by god was that the subject every single weekend ).

All good, slowly they started getting serious with boyfriends/girlfriends started thinking they'd rather be living with them than their platonic friend/sibling.

Crash happened, house now in negative equity, the 100% mortgage wasn't as good an investment as they thought etc

I'd think long and hard before going down that route. Eventually one of you will want to move on. It can end up getting very messy.

Sugar_Rush

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119184944#Comment_119184944

How did you do that indentation for the capital letter sentences??

How did you do that indentation for the capital letter sentences??

Chris_5339762

Yes.

Moved out at age 25 (approx), lived in Galway and Dublin for a few years.

Moved back down a few years ago intending to buy elsewhere... so moved in with the parents temporarily. Then Covid hit, then my mum got sick, now I'm barrelling towards being a full time carer. Just bear that in mind if you are living with elderly parents.

Its has its benefits at 38, it has its disadvantages, but it is is possible. Forget about ever meeting someone though! No modern woman wants that sort of baggage.

fatbhoy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119189842#Comment_119189842

I'm not telling you.