Toddler Emotions

The Mighty Quinn

Hi all,

My daughter is two next month, but lately (over last month or so) has morphed into an emotional wreck.

We'd been going fine weaning off dodie until bed times only, but now she's weeping for it, will throw herself to the ground and sob and sob. She's become so emotional all the time.

She'll be at home sobbing, then we'll do something fun she enjoys, like the park, swings, slides etc, second we're back in the car she'll sob again.

Her speech is slow, she has about 100 words we counted, but doesn't really put them together, occasionally two words "bye Mammy", "more milk".

Wondering is it frustration with communication/emotional development etc, I am thinking it's probably a normal phase, but it's not nice seeing my formerly bubbly happy girl become a highly emotional teenager!

Anyone relate? Get through it? Does it pass, do I need to do something in particular?

SmallgirlBigcity

Hi, that sounds really tough. Can I ask why you've decided to wean off the soother at this time? I know it's recommended to wean them off it because it starts to damage their teeth but 2 seems a bit early to me. My son is 2.5 and still uses his. I take it off him when he's playing but if he's tired or cranky and wants it, he gets it. I plan to wean him off it when he's almost 3.

Is your daughter upset only about the soother or other things? I can say that as soon as my son turned 2,he definitely started having big emotions. I find that explaining things to him very clearly and keeping a predictable routine keeps him calm.

Hope this helps!

Minier81

They have such big emotions at that age. They just get overwhelmed by their feelings so easily and end up on the floor sobbing. All we did to get through was, as much as possible, support them through it. If they are having "big emotions", I would first hug or hold them until they are calm, then I would ask how they feel. No pont in trying to reason when they are in the emotional state, you need to calm them first. Holding them and doing 5 deeps breadths is a good technique.

Also try to give them control or choice as much as you reasonably can in everyday life. Sometimes the big emotions cone out when they want to wear x and not y, they have such little control over their lives when so young, we decide what they wear, eat and do. So try "would you like the pink or green jumper" instead of just telling them what to wear and etc for other little choices.

When out little one was turning 2, we were a little worried about speech also. Within a month or so she was all talk and has not stopped since. Every child is different, try not to compare too much.

Ours is 3.5yo now and the big emotions still come out if she is tired!! It does get better. This too shall pass.

Have there been any big changes in her life lately? Like new childcare or dropping a nap?

Mantis Toboggan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228956/toddler-emotions

My little lad is similar and probably worse, along with the sobbing throw in screaming, kicking and throwing his arms around. He's always been a difficult baby but his meltdowns have gotten alot worse recently.

He's not as old and wouldn't have as many words so I think it's pure frustration with his lack of communication skills but still embarrassing when he goes into meltdown mode in front of other people. Hoping it improves in the summer.

The Mighty Quinn

No it's not just the removal of soother causing issues (which she has at bed time, and if she falls or hurts herself or is unwell etc).

She goes to creche in the afternoons without it and there's no issues there with her say staff and she seems happy there.

She does have an 8mth old sister which may be a root of it, she's never been particularly keen on her, but lately is a mix of being tender (rubbing her back when she cries, kissing her) to vicious (when she thinks we're not looking sitting on her, slapping her head, poking her eyes...).

There are some very big emotions and reactions to things, going total limp and slumping to the ground when out walking etc etc.

Can't think of any other big changes, she's not teething, she's been a one big nap a day girl for months.

SmallgirlBigcity

Ah I see. It could be the new baby alright. That's a big change isn't it. I second the recommendations above to offer a hug during a meltdown and try not to reason with them when they're bad. Also, giving choices really helps. I let my son choose between 2 t shirts every morning and he loves that. Hope things get easier for you soon. Hang in there.

shesty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118515990#Comment_118515990

Ah a new baby!!And is the baby moving around?Getting into her toys and things more??

Have no expectations of her relationship with her sibling yet.None.Praise her for being gentle as much as possible.

I am in a hurry, or I would post more, but (although it may seem odd), I would suggest reading the below and browsing the site it is on a bit.

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/04/helping-kids-adjust-to-life-with-the-new-baby/

I don't think your child is doing anything unusual, but it might be no harm for you to be armed with some different ways to help her, or react to her.A new sibling is a huge adjustment, and then there is another adjustment when the sibling starts to become mobile and intrude even more into their space....it is tough.

The Mighty Quinn

Also don't have much time, but wanted to make a quick reply of thanks...

Yes the 8 mth old is now quite mobile, since Christmas has gone from rolling around to crawling all over the place, sees something she wants and will go for it, but as far as toddler is concerned, everything is hers, everything. Baby picks up a Teddy that's not seen daylight in months, toddler will storm over and take it off her aggressively.

We can't turn our backs on them... Poor baby is getting assaulted left right and centre despite our best efforts, scratched, kicked, slapped, stood on, pushed over, poked in eyes..

shesty

Yes, because the baby is getting into her space.Mine are 3, 5 and 7 and there is outright war depending on who touches whose things....still.🙄

There is good book called "Hands are not for Hitting", it might help. That helped here, but I am sure if you look around you will find other good books to read with her about having a new sibling, or treating your younger sibling nicely.

I would praise her a LOT when she is gentle.Maybe put some of her things on a high shelf the baby can't reach and she can, it might help.Let her play with toys at the kitchen table or on a high surface the baby can't get at (for now).Also she is only a baby herself, two year olds are 100% irrational, not a whit of logic there. Sharing is a foreign concept to them, so I wouldn't expect her to get it at all.Have very clear rules about not hitting or physically hurting someone, but give her some choices around what she wears, what she eats and those little things.Try not to make her out to be the "bad guy" around everything she does with the baby, because it makes them behave worse then, since they start to think you see them that way(I speak from experience).

I would also suggest letting her "help" with the baby sometimes - letting her go get the nappies, or asking would she like to hold the spoon to give to the baby or similar (depending on how you are weaning obviously)...little things that help her feel involved.

I will be honest, I am still having the occasional "stop hitting each other" freak out myself at my 3, so it is a long-running show.

Mine would melt down for soothers when they were tired regularly, so just see is she napping enough and sleeping at night too.

The One Doctor

Don't do anything. You were probably the same at that age. She'll be fine.