To Leave a Course and Start Afresh?

Urethra Franklin.

I am 27 years old and enrolled in a masters for teaching....I like the ideas of holidays/free time, and tbh I think I would be a good teacher, I have all the traits that would make a good teacher; I used to help train emplyees in my old job. I even have a qualification to teach FE but that doesnt really offer FT work especially in my field. I worked in industry and felt stifled and hated it. I applied for medicine a few times and got in but people would tell me it was the worst job in the world and not to do it unless I didnt mind being a suicidal alcoholic :/

My family has always pressured me to do teaching, so this year I did it. It cost a hunk of money I will never see again. I am 7k down, pretty much all my savings from college and working for 4 years; my job totally unerpaid me and I am upset I wasted so much of life there but thats a rant for another day.

Anyways...I hate the theory of the course, but I realise the theory is irrelevant mostly. However I feel like this course is just a big waste of money, its just so expensive for....well not alot. Kids are so bloody slow to learn anything, they dont care, they would rather watch paint dry. The course doesnt excite me. I dont get gut feelings, but I have been very negative about this course, but I am worried I am lying to myself. I used to want to be a teacher, and I worry I am just lying to myself. Maybe my insecurities are dictating what my brain says, be a doctor cause you're smart. Maybe I am egotistical and the idea of being a doctor is part of what attracts me, I don't know. Maybe I don't fully appreciate how much of a work life-balance of teaching could make me happy vs feeling trapped. I think the course material would be interesting but its life the 40+ years afterwards that matters. TBH I don't think I would be a good doctor; I am not authoritarian, I can feel overwhelmed easily, if I am not perfect at someting or get negative feedback I let it get to me, I feel useless and incomptent quite easily. I have a million and one voices spiralling in my head at once, many of them dedicated purely to this issue, its something I have runinated on so much. The positives and negatives of each job act as polar opposites to eachother. I don't even know what I like any more....

I think about doing medicine often, I think I would hate the paperwork, and the hospital work as a junior doctor/SHO, I like the idea of being a GP and meeting people from the community and helping them to get to the root of their ailments or helping them, but I am very aware I am a woman, I'll be nearly 33 graduating if I was to get in again this year, 32 before I start earning money again, and then needing to spend at leats 2-3 years working crazy hospital shifts never knowing when I will be free, have time off, no freedom to do the things outside of work I like/love. It makes the possibility of being in a relationship and having kids waaay slimmer, as I will not have much free time till I am near if not in my 40s....the freedom to enjoy life till I am in or near my 40s....

TBH the earning power of a doctor vs a teacher is not a huge seller for me, I am a financially motivated person as long as I make enough that I can provide for myself and save money I am not too concerned. Money is nice but not the be all and end all.

I realise even being enrolled in this masters I am is a huge opportunity; I work part time in a the service industry I am the only student there; for everyone else this is thier career for life; I am extremely fortunate to have this opportunity that will help me get a job that will pay more; for the people I work with, many never got the opportunity to go onto 3rd level or it just is not a viable option for them, as much as I love working there, I understand why people who I work with could look at students and think them extremely fortunate to have those sort of opportunities to get out of working the service industry....I am extremely lucky to have had the opportunities I have had, and maybe I am being extremely spiteful/ungrateful/looking a gift horse in the mouth by complaining about it/thinking about giving it up. I am also so worried about the financial costs of both optionns......no matter what I lose all my savings, just one eats in more than the other, the finacial burden of both gives me serious anxiety, serious never-ending anxiety. I am so aware I have wasted my life up until this point too. I want out of this country so badly. I never did a J1, hell I was never even in mainland Europe till 2019. I have never done anything with my life, and I would like to. I've never even done drugs or had a relationship or broken the law, my life is the most mundane boring piece of ****. I just exist.

Anyways, anyone any opinions. It turned into bit of a rant at the end, sorry.

Citrus_8

If you're a teacher for holiday and just because someone said or you think you could be a good teacher without knowing what is to be a teacher, then it's not for you. Also, if you don't know how to make theory interesting and relevant, that again shows a lack of skills, particularly important is to be innovative. And the last thing - a good teacher is the teacher who is available to others (students). Slow progress may be annoying, but teacher's job is to find the way to make a learning process interesting to students so they feel a satisfaction and motivation to achieve the best result they can. To be a teacher is to be a salesman, psychologist, manager - all in one. And a teacher must be very confident with his knowledge of subjects he's teaching. Sadly, more than half of teachers aren't meant to be them. As you said, teachers' preparation isn't in the highest standards in Ireland (same with medical students, by the way).

Theories and methodology is actually important. It's the basics. You can't teach in any ways you want without understanding the basics.

YellowLead

Do you have any idea what you would like to do as a career? You’ve only mentioned medicine and teaching, have you considered any other options?

radiotrickster

OP, it really sounds like you don’t have a clue what you want and you’re looking at other peoples lives and opinions to figure out what way your life should be.

I never did a J1 either. A substantial amount of people haven’t. It’s expensive and not everyone gets the opportunity.

But is travelling important to you? Because you mentioned the J1 and never having been to mainland Europe before 2019. So is it a case of you really want to travel or have you seen loads of people on Instagram posting about their travels, and you feel like you’ve been missing out for years?

Not all doctors are suicidal alcoholics. The vast, vast majority aren’t and you should try not to be so easily swayed by what sounds like a throwaway comment.

Are you truly interested in medicine? It sounds like you’ve an interest as it’s something you keep coming back to, but to get there you would have to stick with it and apply yourself by working hard. To me, it sounds like this isn’t something you want to do as you mentioned you won’t have the freedom to enjoy your life while you’re working towards becoming a doctor.

So to me, it sounds like you need to find a career where you won’t feel like working towards it is throwing away years of your life. Explore different ideas without pressuring yourself to make a decision. You can even look at evening courses to get an idea what’s out there, and have a look through jobs websites to see if there’s an area/job that sounds interesting to you. Then you can look at how to get into it.

It sounds like you’re overthinking your life as well. You’re still young. Most people in their 20s are just trying to figure stuff out. Give yourself a break, try to stop stressing out about It and see what happens. And if you find that hard, I’d say to consider seeing a therapist who may be able to guide you and help you figure out what you truly want (and not what you feel you should be doing or what others think you should be doing).

SupaCat95

The best place to start is "What color is my parachute (current year)?" . Its a book many people who go through a midlife crisis resort to to help finding a new career.

Possibly employ a the services of an employment psychologist. My sister wasnt getting jobs despite being highly qualified and experience. She got a consultant and then she made progress and now she had her dream job.

Tork

Maybe I missed it but how much longer do you have left to do in your course? Is it too late to pull out and get your money back? If you only have a few more months to go, then maybe you should see it to the end and at least have the piece of paper in your hand. Is deferring an option? Would this qualification help you get a job abroad if you fancied moving away for a while?

I think you would benefit from taking a step back from making any big decisions for now. We've seen the retirement age in this country go up and up over the past few years. That means that you have many years of work ahead of you and there shouldn't be a big rush. People change careers all the time and I wonder what difference would it really make if you didn't make a switch for a year or two? Medicine will still be there for you if you still think that's what you want to do. Most people are capable of having good careers in all sorts of fields so medicine isn't the only show in town.

Ellie2008

Hi OP,

There’s a lot of info in your post. One of the things that jumped out a me was you saying you feel overwhelmed easily & don’t fancy paperwork but want to be a GP. I saw a programme on RTE a few years ago which gave me the impression GPS do a ton of paperwork. Also about feeling overwhelmed easily. Can you picture yourself in a GPs surgery having to make a call about whether that headache is just a headache or something worse. I know a GP who didn’t pick up melanoma recently, and another one who didn’t send a patient to hospital & the guy went home and died. That’s the reality. In my view it’s not a job for anxious people. I was struck by the case down in Kerry recently that regardless of what the junior doctor did he didn’t seem to be supervised. So you could find yourself on GP training somewhere like that. I’m sure you know most of this. I don’t think you should do medicine purely because you got in & for the status. That’s not a say you shouldn’t do medicine though.

You sound done with teaching before you start tbh. You don’t sound like someone who is necessarily cut out to be teacher. You say you think you’d be a good teacher followed by “kids are so bloody slow to learn anything”. There is a world of a difference between training adults who want to learn Vs teaching.

I think it’s good you recognise that some of this is about ego because it seems that way.

I think you need to get real about money too. Depending on where you want to live you may not have savings on a teacher’s salary or for that matter a junior doctors and you will have a lot of debt.

I never did a J1 either. Or did drugs. You can’t have it all, so if you want to prioritise getting into a career you prefer and you say you feel grateful stop dwelling on what you can’t have. As you said you have a lot to be grateful for.

i think you posted here a few months ago? I think taking time to reflect now will be invaluable. Nobody here can tell you what to do. There are some good careers people out there who can help you understand your motivations. It’s an important decision.

Donald Trump

You can still finish your masters out. I presume it's only one year. Then it's in the bag anyway and might be of some use to have as a "badge" getting you into another field

derb12

If you’re in year 2 of the masters, definitely finish it - that’s a no brainer. That qualification will be in your back pocket and even just showing an employer that you have the wherewithal to complete a masters could stand to you. It could also be something you could come back to in 10 or 20 years when you’ve had more life experIence doing something else.

What will your subjects be? It’s possible that you could get snapped up or have options and find a good school and find teaching to be a rewarding career.

But be careful, teaching isn’t for you if you’re so full of self doubt. You need a pretty thick skin.

Anyway, as others have said, you really need to think more broadly than just teacher/doctor. There are lots of other options and you are young even if you don’t feel it!