Yet another young woman attacked by a male. When will it end?

helto

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589846#Comment_118589846

You are clueless. Most murders, rapes etc are committed by people known to their victims. You think women would hang around with men if it was obvious they were rapists? They don't go around with a sign on their heads. This is not about scaring women, this about trying to do something about the culture in which these scumbag men thrive. i can't see any downside in changing the culture. Even if it saves one woman from assault, it is worth it.

TomTomTim

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589868#Comment_118589868

You're being pedantic, I said deviant psychology first as you well know. Most serial killers start out with milder acts and progress to more extreme acts, so it's both relevant and similar in nature. A serial killers mindsets is far closer to a rapists, than a lad who cat calls women, something which is often lumped together with rape on here.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589846#Comment_118589846

I don't believe most women are scared, nor would I want them to be, but most rapists are normal everyday joe soaps. In fact most women are raped by men that they know.

if you read court reports about rapists and sexual offenders, you can easily see how these offenders are 'John next door types'

Not that I think women need to be scared for their lives, those are just facts

jackboy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589929#Comment_118589929

You have just implied that any man could be a rapist, irrespective of behaviour, but women need not be scared. How do you square that circle?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589447#Comment_118589447

I do know it's true. The proof is in these threads. Have you actually been reading these threads and all the reasons being putting forth why men won't intervene? The fear of violence being turned on them by a stranger, I get.

But when it comes to saying they fear that they'd be "slagged" if they called out a friend?

I mean, seriously? You're worried about being slagged?

In this thread alone we had another poster who said

 "Also if, for example, a man calls out someone in the workplace, he is likely to be ostracized, crucified, marginalized for years to come."

So they do nothing. That's what seeing and "turning a blind eye" is.

I also think that's rubbish. (Aside from the fact that would be classed as workplace bullying.)

It's my opinion (which I am entitled to) that it's cowardly. You may not like my opinion, but I don't like your opinion that it's all just bitter lonely rejected women exaggerating their experiences either. It is what it is.

There is a small cohort of people, predominantly, but by no means exclusively, male with problematic tendencies and behaviours. I'd be with an earlier poster who spoke about early intervention and support to work with these people and, hopefully, in the majority of cases, change their behaviour. Some will never change, of course.

This process should be applied to all, and be performed without regard to gender or anything else, of course, because the important thing is what people do, their actions, and not the accidents of gender, skin color, country of origin, immigration status, proximity to power, etc.

zv2

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES AGAINST MEN Far Exceeds Caseloads For Women But This Is Swept Under The Carpet By Regulators And Mass Media. Activist, DR. EDWARD BARTLETT, Says This Must Stop DIG LIFE DEEP! podcast (player.fm)

Shirley & McVicker Public Affairs on Twitter: "Dr. Edward Bartlett of the Coalition to End Domestic Violence discusses how the U.N. ignores male victims of domestic abuse with Gary Lane of @CBNNews. https://t.co/qh2ypnuTUG" / Twitter

CaoimhinCong

I’m fairly disturbed at the amount of drivel posted from lads either demeaning this or making that oil gem it’s not all guys. We need to remember it is always women though.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589985#Comment_118589985

I don't have to.

Anybody can commit any crime at any time at all. Most people do not.

Ash.J.Williams

just to muddy the waters further over what a misogynist looks like , there’s was a pattern a while back of so called male feminists being outed as absolute creeps , essentially hijacking womens issues and lecturing men on their behaviour while at the same team secretly videoing one night stands and the like

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590092#Comment_118590092

Except it's not.

Rape of males is "a thing", both perpetuated by men and women. Modern research shows that there was a prior bias in not reporting or recording the rape of males. Just as there was little interest in reporting/recording of rape by women of other women. Inclusion of sexual assault categories drastically increase the numbers too (similar to the way sexual assault against women is often associated with rape).

Violence and sexual assault are not exclusive to women/females being the victims. It's just that they represent the majority in some categories, but in others, they're not.

Statistics back up the statement that it's not all guys. Just as the statistics back up the statement that not all women are child abusers. Exact same logic.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590119#Comment_118590119

Yep, in a hypothetical social situation a man I don't know who identifies as a male feminist, talks about protecting women, the plight of women, sexism and misogyny etc. would set off alarms bells for me. A man making lewd comments or being a bit of a knob I can easily ignore or discount as an asshole.

Some of the whitenight posts here raise my eyebrows, but a certain cohort of them are clearly trolling. It's unnerving to see so many taken in by them.

helto

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590168#Comment_118590168

According to the US department of justice: An estimated 91% of victims of rape & sexual assault are female and 9% male. Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male.

Not all men are rapists but nearly all rapists are men. That's just a fact.

@CaoimhinCong

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590202#Comment_118590202

It's just phrasing it differently. It doesn't alter what I stated earlier, or approve of what @CaoimhinCong suggested in their post.

helto

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590248#Comment_118590248

I'm just showing the level of it. Despite some trying to play it down, rape is a crime committed by men 99% of the time and 90% of the time, the victims are women. I think a more accurate phrase may be; it's not all men but it's nearly always men.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590286#Comment_118590286

I don't think anyone is trying to play it down. The most likely perpetrator of rape will be a male, with a female being the victim. That's common knowledge, and completely backed up by the statistics.

The claim was that women were always the victims, which is not true. As for not all men, the ratio of men/males vs men/males who commit rape clearly shows that the vast majority of males do not rape. (I'm using male/female just because of the differences between men/boys women/girls, as it's more accurate than men/women in the scenario)

helto

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590309#Comment_118590309

There are some trying to muddy the waters and do some whataboutery. It does seem that most are in agreement though, crimes such as rape is mainly a male crime and something we should all try to counteract in whatever way possible.

maestroamado

I remember hearing a comment from a very senior solicitor a few years ago who was having a chat about child/people development... the comment was "let me have a child between 2 and 5 years and you can have the child for the rest of their lives when it comes to development" I do not know if this is correct or not...

If it is correct and women i think have the major influence on young children there needs to be work done somewhere... I am just saying what was said and wonder if there is anything in the comment i mention...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590323#Comment_118590323

It's not mainly "a male crime". That's an attempt to assign it to a gender, ignoring the behaviours of women who do engage in rape, or aggressive sexual practices.

Tellingly, researchers have found that victims who experience childhood sexual abuse at the hands of both women and men are more reluctant to disclose the victimization perpetrated by women (Sgroi & Sargent, 1993). Indeed the discomfort of reporting child sexual victimization by a female perpetrator can be so acute that a victim may instead inaccurately report that his or her abuser was male (Longdon, 1993).

Male victims may experience pressure to interpret sexual victimization by women in a way more consistent with masculinity ideals, such as the idea that men should relish any available opportunity for sex (Davies & Rogers, 2006). Or, sexual victimization might be reframed as a form of sexual initiation or a rite of passage, to make it seem benign. In some cases, male victims are portrayed as responsible for the abuse. Particularly as male victims move from childhood to adolescence, they are ascribed more blame for encounters with adult women.

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predator/503492/

The waters need to be muddied somewhat, because there are issues with the traditional ways that sexual assault/abuse were approached. Just as many women will talk about women being afraid or uncomfortable in reporting rape by a male, we need to be aware that rape by a female is definitely something that exists, and is influenced by many social factors.

This is not seeking to downplay rape or sexual abuse of female victims. It's about confronting the gender stereotypes that stand in the way of eliminating or minimizing this awful manner of behaviour in society.

This does not counter what I said in my previous post. In most cases, the perpetrator of rape is male, and the victim is generally female. However, that does not make rape "a male crime", because such logic being applied and accepted, gives license to judge all males as being responsible even when most men would never engage in such behaviour.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590332#Comment_118590332

Of course it has an impact, but a child has 2 parents.

Babies aren't born clutching an instruction manual and many parents do not have the skills to actually parent. Many will have had difficult childhoods themselves, have cognitive impairments, physical and mental health issues etc. There are many parents who love their children, but the children still suffer abuse and neglect while the parents are oblivious. Then there are the parents who couldn't be bothered and let their children do what they want. Some children are used as pawns when their parent's relationship breaks down, some are handed over to grandparents so there's a lot of issues that can impact a child. There's only 2 years of free early care too so a lot of things go unnoticed until a child exhibits problematic behaviour.

That's why I said early interventions with children and their families can help, proper social services, psychologists in schools etc.

Mwengwe

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589846#Comment_118589846

jesus christ, there really is no hope for some of you

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590178#Comment_118590178

"A man making lewd comments or being a bit of a knob I can easily ignore or discount as an asshole."

And there you have it in writing, folks.

I can see it happening, "but I can easily ignore it or discount it as an asshole"

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118589985#Comment_118589985

That wasn’t implied at all.

What was acknowledged is the fact that most people who commit rape, sexual assault and abuse are already known to their victims. It stands in stark contrast to the whole narrative of the idea that anyone making off-colour jokes, lewd remarks, or even offensive remarks towards women and girls contributes directly to women and girls being the victims of rape, sexual assault, and abuse.

Women don’t need to be scared, and they aren’t scared, and girls aren’t scared, because the idea of being the victim of rape, sexual assault and abuse by someone known to them, someone they trust, be it a family member, friend or relative, while it is far more likely than the idea of being attacked by a stranger to them, gets almost no acknowledgement in the gender wars crap, precisely because it’s easier make assumptions about complete strangers than people we know and trust.

Just by way of giving you one example of circumstances where the difficulty presents itself in the real world, and not just the made up world of the gender wars - when my wife and I were separating, our child’s counsellor suggested to my wife that she should move into a womens shelter. My wife was offended by the suggestion, because she felt that those places were for women who were victims of domestic violence, and that the counsellor was well out of line. You can imagine the difficulty I had in explaining why the counsellor made the suggestion - because women who are victims of domestic violence often don’t want anyone to know, and as far as the counsellor was concerned, my wife and child’s safety were the priority. The counsellor didn’t know me, they were basing the offer on their experience of victims of domestic violence who often just don’t want anyone to know, for various reasons, and cases like this are more reflective of reality than the stereotypes and stranger danger perpetuated by the gender wars crap -

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-30940158.html

is_that_so

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590332#Comment_118590332

There does seem to be a school of thought that suggests a lot of elements of personality are laid down at that age however, a child at that age has little comprehension of the consequences of their actions, nor can they ever be usefully taught to them.

Where it can be of more benefit is at the point where they begin to understand such concepts, probably 9-12. Once they reach puberty and early teens all sorts of other influences kick in - going against consensus and that desire not be outside a peer group. It can also work with teenagers IMO but there has to be a good support network and the means to identify and head off aberrant behaviour.

Society though largely leaves that up to parents, some of whom may not be able to or refuse to do so.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590505#Comment_118590505

I'm as entitled to my outlook as you are.

Not all of us women are timid little maidens.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590505#Comment_118590505

Christ on a bike

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590577#Comment_118590577

I'm a woman and I'm going to repeat myself from earlier threads on the same topic.

Feminists are quick to retort "Women are not a hive mind", yet a woman that dares to deviate from the feminist mantra is met with contempt.

You saw it there in writing folks!

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590530#Comment_118590530

What society are you talking... we don't have a proper society... just blame someone else and let the courts look after the children...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590572#Comment_118590572

Never said you weren't.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590609#Comment_118590609

If that's directed at me, where have I ever claimed to be a feminist? Please quote the post. Thanks.

And since when do you need to be a feminist or "part of a hive mind" anyway, to know when something is right or wrong?

If you're unwilling to call out **** behaviour when you see it, that's your call to make.

But don't try and pretend that what you're doing isn't turning a blind eye.

I don't care if you're male or female.

Maybe the next woman subjected to the lewd or assholish behaviour of the guy you chose to ignore, is not quite as "brave" as you, or can brush it off so easily.

If we all chose to ignore the problem, it will never change, but I guess as you're not a "timid little maiden" that doesn't bother you.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118590624#Comment_118590624

The very senior solicitor who you refer to was making a balls of the quote by Aristotle -

Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.

We do have a proper society, and we have a proper Irish Constitution too which recognises the social unit of the Family as the primary and fundamental educator of children. Whatever your learned solicitor was smoking when they made what they must have thought was an intelligent observation, is pure nonsense.