Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Liberty_Bear

I leave a post, come back and its blown up into a steered off conversation.

There is a huge underfunding. I was reading up more on Mens Aid (and do excuse the article source, i know its Dublin Live which is more reknowned for pointless celeb articles)

https://www.dublinlive.ie/news/dublin-news/worrying-surge-male-domestic-violence-21846742

Men's Aid is also urging the Government to increase their funding so that they can help more men and their families.

Ms Bentley added: "Our funding is just one per cent of the national budget, so we do feel we're in the trenches in the war against COVID-19 and the war against domestic violence.

Ray Palmer

Another victim of female abuse

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/news/eoghan-mcdermott-accuser-accepts-she-was-at-age-of-consent-when-they-had-physical-relationship-41403659.html

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724384#Comment_118724384

Hmmm it doesn't exactly paint him in a good light either to be fair...having a relationship with a 17yo....what age was he?..27 I think?....creepy

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724408#Comment_118724408

Not illegal which is what she said it was. Whether or not you think it was inappropriate or not it was legal. She made false claims and he lost his job.

EmmetSpiceland

Funny how McDermott has now become a hero to the same “bunch” who were pillorying him, continually, for being the poster boy for the WOKE (all caps).

Must be a case of the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724429#Comment_118724429

Ok I get that, but it also has nothing to do with "male victims of domestic violence" which is the thread...

rightmove

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724430#Comment_118724430

So this is the way you want it to go...right right. Thanks for the sign posts. 🙄

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724445#Comment_118724445

He is a victim of female abuse. Early on in the thread it was highlighted that violent abuse and psychological abuse are not different just applied differently.

gmisk

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724531#Comment_118724531

I think that's a stretch tbh

seamus

It's definitely a stretch, unless there's evidence that McDermott was the victim of a harassment campaign?

Seems odd that he wouldn't just leave this alone. I appreciate and support his right to clear his name legally, but to do is so publically is probably ill-advised. Maybe a mention in a couple of newspapers was the way to go. It's not illegal, but he was also in a relationship with a girl of secondary school age while he was 27. It's not a great look.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118724621#Comment_118724621

How is it a stretch? Person lies publicly and causes a person to lose their job. You are victim blaming.

She knew the facts and came out publicly to lie about events 10 years prior. In a world where people say you must always believe a women once she makes a claim. An unequal dynamic that this woman used to cast slurs on an innocent man when she was 27. I don't see how people don't see this as abuse, he lost his job due to her lying not because she was 17 at the time of the contact.

It appears the legal system understands this better than people here.

CreadanLady

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118668321#Comment_118668321

Realistically the act of steathing, if a woman of doing it, is not going to hold any water in court if a man takes a case. If a man were to take a case, he would have to prove it, and unless he can produce some sort of tangible evidence of the woman's alleged wrongdoing he is on a hiding to nothing. More likely, it would be seen as an attempt on the part of the man to wriggle his way out of stepping up and paying maintenance. He hasn't much chance of getting a conviction, and even if he did, what sentence is there likely to be against a woman who is either pregnant or now has a small child? - that's right, nothing of any significance. Win or loose it would just end up with him looking like a wannabe dead-beat either way.

Court and society at large are always going to be biased in favour of a pregnant or new mother. And tbh, rightly so. In a male on female stealthing case, the woman has immeasurably more conseqences to suffer and a having a child is a life altering thing. The woman is literally left holding the baby in 99% of cases.

On the other hand, a female on male stealthing case, while deceiptful and wrong on the part of the woman, the male concerned has less potential of harm or consequences. He has choices, he can pony up the maintenance and mind the child, or he can equally well disappear into the sunset never to be heard from again.

The way things are in this regard regarding sexual and reproductive crims simply comes down to this...women are in a far, far more vulnerable position and have a tremendously greater chance of suffering serious physical harm or being landed with inescapable life altering events like pregnancy and a child. Men on the other hand, are extremely unlikely to suffer any serious physical harm and if a child is born, well, they can take it or leave it. Some take it, some leave it.

I wonder if a woman got pregnant due to stealthing, as well as a criminal case, could she take a civil case against the man for damages for stress plus the full cost of maintenance plus future loss of earnings, since it was the mans wrongdoing that caused the pregnancy and all the knock on consequences for years to come?

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118647160#Comment_118647160

Not as telling as the certain "wind up" account out in force.

EmmetSpiceland

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118725782#Comment_118725782

Hard to prove does not mean there should not be a law against it. How about an email or text to a friend that she was planning to do it and his expressed desire not to have children.

The fact you are jumping to him being seen as a deadbeat dad by some is part of the issue. He is the victim and gets more abuse for defending himself. Again that is a social issue and should be acknowledged. I remember when rape in marriage was considered impossible to prove and there were laws preventing prosecution

Just because somebody is more likely to be a victim doesn't mean they all are. What you are saying is no different to the views men held over women. Going for an equal society means addressing inequality where ever it lies.

Men can't legally walk away. They are obliged to pay for the cost of raising the child. A women can also give up a child for adoption and walk away that way. If you don't think any women got intentionally pregnant to trap a man you are sadly mistaken. It is a standard event like infidelity.

Yes a women did sue a man for emotional damages and won, he also pays childcare. While a man suing for emotional damages due to forced pregnancy lost and has to pay childcare. Something not right that one victim of the same crime ended up paying the abuser

the_pen_turner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118725782#Comment_118725782

so male rapist bad , female rapist good . thats what your basically saying

Liberty_Bear

In regards to Eoghan Mc Dermott, I would hope that women in the same vein who call for men to call out toxic behaviour do the same to their fellow women who delegitimise true cases of abuse