Bullies aren't cowards, They're brave because they're strong

Change my mind

gmisk

Bullies purposely pick on people they perceive as vulnerable/weaker than them. That is not a sign of real strength, it indicates a truly insecure and weak minded coward.

stellamere

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Presumably, like the general population, bullies are not all the same. They come in all shapes and sizes and use different means of bullying, some are in your face and some are passive aggressive. Why they Bully is anyone's guess, but it must satisfy some need or otherwise make them feel good about themselves. I think it would be foolish to generalise and say that they are all cowards, maybe someone else knows of some studies which prove otherwise?

rtron

Do bullies know they are bullies?

Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

You should actually use Google to find out what a bully is first, you clearly haven't done that

BaywatchHQ

It is called 'flexing', usually carried out by men in the mid tier social status range. In American media culture the bully was always seen as the big Chad football quarterback but in reality a man like this has no reason to bully. He is already at the top.

The real bullies are the mid tier people who aren't the best looking or the best sportsmen. They feel the need to pick on the lowest popular people (like me) so they can look strong in front of the girls.

People try to cope by saying "bullies will be losers", this is usually nonsense. If this was the case then bullying wouldn't exist in city offices or high tier schools which is does.

FunLover18

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Jim2007

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Bullies are aggressive and dominating be cause the are strong…. Now go away and learn what brave actually means.

EmmetSpiceland

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118655627#Comment_118655627

Yeah I'm inclined to agree. Lots of rich, powerful and high status people are bullies. We tend to recognise their success and attribute it to other factors than bullying, but i'd say bullying is a pretty successful strategy. The higher status the person, the less likely their bullying is to be recognised as bullying. High status bullies are more likely to be called things like assertive, abrasive, don't take nonsense and tell it like it is.

There's great schadenfreude in seeing a bully turn out to be a miserable looser in a low status job, but I'm sure lots of them turn out to be wealthy and influential and happy.

cj maxx

I ALWAYS hated bullies. As I've posted before that I cut the shyte out of one in 1st year ( boxing club paying off ) and that bought me alot of leeway. But I had an inate temperament in be as contrary as possible. Its did me far more harm than good ☹

Brid Hegarty

You little attention seeker Ross. Why should I try change your mind? Would you admit you were wrong if I did? 

Perhaps you don't really understand the meaning of bravery. In theory the brave one is the bullied person who stands up to the bully. That isn't easy. It doesn't take courage to pick on someone the moment you have the upper hand. Change my mind.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Shut up Ross Geller nerd or I'll bleedin' batter ya. You're wrong.

completedit

Legit it's bollox. It's a sad realisation when you realise what you thought as a child, that the ones bullying you are just fine. Bullying is less prevalent as you get older but only because of the way we organise ourselves as we age. When people begin to retreat away from groups it is no surprise that bullying falls. But put yourself in any group settling where makes are vying for attention from females, make no mistake bullying is there. It's sad that this is how we are as a species. It always upset me how receptive girls were to this bullshit.

I'd love to know why people bully others. I've always contended its not to do with feeling of inferiority but more an implicit understanding that that is how you scale the social hierarchy. It's so weird because it shouldn't work, these are the people that nobody likes until you're on their good side. And that's all that matters to them, winning approval from those who matter.

touts

I discovered my bully cried when I hit him with a hurley and stood over him telling him to never come fcuking near me again.

I discovered I cried when he and his mates found me the following week.

Bullies might be cowards but they generally move in packs and are stronger than the people they pick on.

FintanMcluskey

Sometimes people who bully other's were bullied themselves and are a product of their environment.

The irony is, nobody will know, or no bully realises they are a bully.

The people commenting above about hating bullies etc, may very well bully other's without realising.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118656759#Comment_118656759

Yes and no. I found the bully I hated was also hated by the general school boy crowd. Because he was a bully.

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118656759#Comment_118656759

The problem here is you hit them and didn't end it. It is what it is but violence does't happen in a bubble, one either ends it or not however there are repercussions either way. In terms of bullies going for people that are weaker than them that's not exactly the case. I was a big lad when I was a kid but I was mentally soft. I was bullied more than other physically weaker kids. I made a nice target, big soft shite that I was. As I got older I learned the value of violence and the ability to turn it on at a whim when required. But I do mourn the soft boy, he was a nice person.

Mecanudo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Bullies just need a strong kick to the bollix. They won't be too brave after that.

Rothko

Anyone who thinks that is a moron.

Bullies that I knew tended to need recognition first from their parents, then peers, etc as being something they weren't. So they target the vunlerable ones to cast that superior image they are always chasing. That is not being brave but a leech.

Walter Sobchak III

I confronted a bully once. Lost it. Hit him an almighty box in the jaw. Lengthy court case. Sued my ass. Should have just walked away.

Gant21

Hit them in the Langer

El_Duderino 09

I did my share of bulling. My school had a system where the older boys disciplined the younger boys. For years, you dreamed about being at the top so nobody could bully you and you were able to behave with impunity, jump the queue, throw younger lads off the pitch or pool table, give younger lads a hiding or whatever. When it was my turn, I did it at the start, then i realised it wasn't necessary and I just stopped.

I was doing grand by that stage and I didn't have any bullies above me. I was reasonably well liked, wasn't loud or anything and was on the rugby tram. So it was easy to get by without bullying anyone. I own up to doing it, but there was a system which you could simply follow and bully your way through school.

Glad i copped on.

growleaves

Yeah bullies are often socially dominant types who pile on.

Adult world social battles usually involve manipulation, lies and withering remarks rather than violence. Because no one wants an assault conviction or to get sued.

From my observation bullies aren't exactly brave, they just have enough social weight to be able to gang up on people.

Ultimately bullies can make a lot of enemies which means they can make all kinds of trouble for themselves.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118655627#Comment_118655627

Please stop this referencing to “Chad. “This is not normal Irish Language. I’ve never met a Chad, nor do I expect to before I check out.

Jequ0n

Everything is being perceived as bullying these days, and it’s getting tiresome.

beerguts

I was told by a guy a couple of years back that I was a bit of a bully when i was going to secondary school. He told me that I could be intimidating and too rough around them and honestly I was totally taken aback by it and have thought on it often since.

It never occurred to me at the time and my memories of that period where just having the craic. I was pretty much oblivious I guess while at school and because I never got into fights or was mean in my view it never would have occurred to me.

I think a lot of the low level bullying that goes on that I now realize I did would be from socially immature people like I was.

Feisar

"Bullies aren't cowards, They're brave because they're strong" - I wouldn't say they are brave or cowards, people misuse those words all the time. Same with shame, one cannot cast shame on someone it's something people feel internally, anyway back to bullies. It's neither cowardly or brave, it is sensible to pick on someone weaker if that's how one gets their kicks.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Ffs. Boot this lad.

Strumms

Bullies rarely act alone or if they do they know that somebody will have their back if the shît hits the fan… not brave, not strong…

BorneTobyWilde

Mental bullying is the worse, as the bully will push and push mentally, and if you react you are the bully, the problem, while they'll play innocent to all they've done to push a reaction.

Best to walk away from from negative people, and surround yourself with positive people.

In my experience of bullies, they get off on power and control. They usually pick someone who they are reasonably sure won’t or can’t challenge them. Which is why they can tend to avoid people who seem powerful, confident or likely to push back. They don’t like being called out, so they avoid people like that as it will result in running into a brick wall.

Bullying needed be physical. It’s often about abuse of position, coercive control or psychological harassment and intimidation. So you could be dealing with some very weak looking individual - often the case online or in office bullying, who will just try to abuse the hell out of someone and it’s all about their sense of power over someone else.

My advice regarding bullies is just ignore them, side step them, report them, out them (forced silence / humiliation is a big element of intimidation) and remove them from your social circle. You can’t fix them.

Kermit.de.frog

I'm in two minds about bullying. On the one hand it's a terrible thing to do and can cause serious emotional and other damage to victims.

On the other, in relation to children in particular, I'm not sure of the wisdom of trying to stamp it out completely because there is a valid argument to be made that bullying is part of growing up and part of the natural process of toughening up kids even though it's hard on the recipient.

This is not a perfect world. You are going to have tough times with people, bullies, at various stages in life no matter who you are. That's the reality.

Probably best entering adulthood to be better equipped to accept and deal with it through some experience when you were a child, rather than getting that experience after 18, in my opinion.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118656815#Comment_118656815

That's rubbish, not only do they know, they like it, some people just have a bad nature

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

....whats the point, if you dont realise theyre fcuking arseholes......

FintanMcluskey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118657544#Comment_118657544

Some people could consider your response bullying, (not that it was), but if you responded to some one referring to their statement or input as "rubbish" in a work environment, it could be enough to cause you some trouble.

Because people who are bullied themselves at home are likely to become bullies, they won't necessarily realise what they are doing is wrong. Bad parents raise bad adults.

Its also up to a person's discretion wheater or not they think they have been bullied.

Have you ever refered to someone by a nickname at school?

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118655627#Comment_118655627

Top tier sportsmen are often bullies you see this often. At all levels of sports. So can't agree with that.

But bullies are often successful so do I agree with that.

FintanMcluskey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118657836#Comment_118657836

Absolutely.

The very objective in every sport is to achieve the physical and mental domination of the opponent.

By definition, the term bullying is so broad, many who would be considered bullies would do so without realising.

Flinty997

They abuse their position to abuse others. Unsportsmanlike behavior on and off the pitch.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118657193#Comment_118657193

You're talking about bullying building resilience. The ability to overcome tough physicsl and emotional times. Bullying is probably one way to do that, but it's not the only way, or even the best way. Giving children challenges, sports where they experience both winning and losing, needing to improve, belief that they can improve and do better next time. Those are some of the common ways we teach resilience in children. Having your children experience bullying is a very lazy way to teach resilience.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118657148#Comment_118657148

Yep experienced it for years, I had pretty awful skin so was targeted over that plus being a bit odd.(I'm on mild end of spectrum) This included one of them reading a particularly nasty essay about me and reading it to my English class. Was bordering on suicide over it. Physically I was actually better built and one day punched one of them. Got in some crap over it with school. Didn't actually stop the bullying sadly. Pretty happy that I punched them, looking back if I'm honest.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118657193#Comment_118657193

I'm thirty years old, the years of bullying did not make me a stronger person. I still get nightmares around that period in my life tbh. And honestly, I've never experienced anything remotely similar or as bad since. Would you classify the teens who took their lives as "collateral damage" of the toughening up process?

I'll confess to being pretty satisfied with the fact that I did better in life than them though.

fryup

All bullies i've encountered in my life whether it be on the school playground or in the workplace have two things in common...1 they're control freaks and 2 they're narcissistic, they think the whole world revolves around them and they want everything their own way, they thrive on people's timidness and they have to be confronted😑 otherwise they make your life a misery

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118658062#Comment_118658062

I'm not talking about tolerating all bullying, certainly not. Relentless emotional abuse, particularly the type that targets physical characteristics and is clearly harmful, if not outright dangerous to victims, should cracked down on hard in schools with serious consequences for the perpetrators.

On your last point. That's your ultimate revenge. While these hard lads have the run of your class in school that rarely takes them to a good place later on from my experience. Many of the biggest bullies in my year ended up either jobless or at a dead end, some even without a leaving cert and no prospects.

It's sad to think that their high point in their whole lives was basically their schooldays because it's downhill from there.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058233715/bullies-arent-cowards-theyre-brave-because-theyre-strong

Show me a bully half the size of his victim and no audience.

Mind changed.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118658209#Comment_118658209

What kind of bullying is ok or useful then?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118658209#Comment_118658209

Ultimately, it's not much of a revenge. I'm lucky, others aren't so lucky. It has the potential to be damaging for anyone in their formative years. There's just no real basis for it toughening anyone up.

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118658248#Comment_118658248

Nothing wrong with a bit of slagging and the odd scrap in my view. So long as it's not relentless.

I'd have more of an issue with bullying over social media these days than the traditional stuff. I think that puts a whole new layer and dangers on top which is worrying but I can only speak for when I was in school.

road_high

Having had plenty of experience of bullying in school of various sorts and witnessed more I reckon there are simply bad eggs out there that enjoy it- simple as that. They enjoy the power and feeling of superiority it gives them. I don’t really buy in to the “it’s the bullies lack of self esteem” thing. Quite the opposite in fact. I think it comes from the family/upbringing values and environment and crucially that of the extended friends which was usually pretty similar- hence the “gangs”. If the parents weren’t particularly nice people then it followed through

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118658262#Comment_118658262

I disagree with the assertion it does not help build resilience as another poster put it. For some undoubtedly that's true but I'd say most do take something with them from experience. I have seen students who were bullied blossom as soon as they got to college and getting on really well for themselves.

As I said earlier the same can't be said for most of those who were bullies. Though it has to be acknowledged the term 'bully' is pretty broad now.

That to me is your best revenge.

What other revenge is there?

Flinty997

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118658275#Comment_118658275

Slagging is a thin line. Ok between friends. Not so much otherwise.