Bullies aren't cowards, They're brave because they're strong

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118655779#Comment_118655779

No, it's the size of the dog in the fight usually.

BrianD3

The bullies I've have had most dealings with have been intelligent and successful or went on to be successful. They wouldn't initiate physical bullying but having said that, several were big, tough, fcukers. If the person they were bullying had reacted in a physical way, the bully would likely have been able to win a physical fight. Then the bully would successfully play the victim.

These psychological bullies do well with women and do well in their careers. They love virtue signalling e.g. Darkness Into Light walks. Do voluntary work, are on GAA boards and golf club committees etc.

The more primitive bullies i.e. those who bully using physical violence don't tend to be very succesful in their career unless their career is criminality. Such bullies do well with women though and produce lots of thuglets - who also do well with women and so the cycle continues

In spite of being small and skinny with no fighting skills I was never really bullied physically. Some dope tried to intimidate me in school once and I responded with ridicule in front of a group of people. I reckon I passed the strength test there. I was also involved in another incident where I struck someone in the head with an improvised weapon, both he and I were lucky to not suffer long term consequences from that. I might have gotten a rep for myself after that.

If you push back against a bully (especially a psychological one in a workplace) you might not get any support from others even if they have been bullied by the same person. The herd abhors weakness and values power. Bullies have power and the herd may be wary of anyone who doesn't respect the power hierarchy.

Stone Deaf 4evr

Was bullied in secondary school by one particular chap, took it for years until one day we fought, I got a lucky punch on him that resulted in his nose erupting in blood, so much so that he went home immediately. He never came near me again. About 6 years on from that, he came up to me in a pub and apologised for it. He had also gone on to qualify in a trade and was doing ok for himself.

With the benefit of Hindsight, I realize that he came from a home where his father was an Alcoholic, and his mother had left. He was essentially the parent to his own younger brother. He wasnt a physically imposing guy, and while this obviously doesn't make my experience any less unpleasant, I can now look back and see that him picking on me, was likely some sort of attempt to have control over something in his life.

I wish him no ill will, and hope hes doing ok now.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118671398#Comment_118671398

female bullies often do extremely well in the workplace for the simple reason if they are called out for it , they can very conveniently play the sexism card , as such female bullies in management roles are able to get near immunity as a male boss is very reluctant to make bullying accusations for fear of being accused of sexism and misogyny

RagingBull123

Bullies are evil. They will destroy you so my advice is get the hell out of there no matter what. You won’t win. Your card has been marked and you will not succeed. You will spend countless days, hours and weeks fretting. Believe me when I say there’s usually more than one involved. Oftentimes it’s someone higher than the bully that just wants you “gone” - your face doesn’t fit! - I know first hand HR people have their grubby hands all over these situations and they will back whomever is highest up there chain of command so forget about going to HR…they will ultimately get you on something, typically performance and you will be “constructively dismissed”. I recall seeing a colleague taken down in front of everyone in a meeting. The individual was “too out there” with some of their views on how we should approach specific challenges. He was lambasted but it didn’t stop there. The individual was reappointed and when he tried to question the logic the company closed down his unit and issued him with his notice. Get this!!! He was asked to reapply through an internal interview process for his job….yes the f€&kers can pull this one out of the bag!!! The guy who was the biggest bully of the lot is still in situ. He’s a real piece of work and has blood on his hands from several people he forced out of the business. I would strongly suggest to anyone who has been or thinks they are a victim of workplace bullying to LEAVE the organisation as a matter of urgency. Believe me, you are only going to regret staying on. You may convince yourself you will work through it but the sad truth of the matter is you won’t. The bully is “empowered”. They are handed the baton by someone you probably don’t interact with regularly. You may have only met this person briefly but in that short time your card was “marked” - I left this company and I would highly recommend “counselling” ( NEVER EVER ACCEPT CORPORATE COUNSELLING SERVICES FOR FREE) - go to a private practitioner who will help you to deconstruct the bullying mess and how you got entangled in it and to notice the warning signs should they ever represent themselves again. Good luck!!

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118755960#Comment_118755960

Agree with much of this , management are often content to circle the wagons and freeze out the one complaining rather than the perpetrator, it's easier

thefallingman

In the hse we have to do all this anti bully crap online yet our female manager is the biggest bully you have ever met, multiple complaints all brushed under the carpet by you guessed it her female acting manager friend, the hse is riddled with bullies who promote each other and cover each other’s shocking behaviour

I think most of us have bullied someone at some point whether we realise it or not.

NedsNotDead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118657193#Comment_118657193

Coming from someone who advocated during Covid locking people in their homes and having the Army deliver supplies. Why I am not surprised that you think a little bullying is a good thing

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118756494#Comment_118756494

You'll go on now to provide timestamped quotes where I advocated any such thing.

Of course you won't because they don't exist.

NedsNotDead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118756604#Comment_118756604

I won't derail this thread any further but we both know you were banned from a number of Covid threads for your more extreme views

Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118756645#Comment_118756645

Complete rubbish. Done with this one. Good day to you sir.

NedsNotDead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118756652#Comment_118756652

The thread bans are still there for all to see.

I will also leave it there. Good day to you too

No one knows why a bully bullies to be fair.

In some cases the person may lack serious self awareness and not know they bully. This type can be low level enough stuff but can still, over time cause issues. A lot of the time it has never been brought to the attention of the person and so they dont know.

Others can be bullies due to how they were brought up, and not know any different without serious work. My own school bully was a guy from a very poor family who's dad drank and rode anything he could, family life for this chap was hell and his dad was a prick. needless to say the son was a ball of anger who happened to be a head taller than most and so naturally was a bully. He was stood up to a few times and to be fair he copped on. we are actually friends now and he regularly will be the first person to stick up for someone if needed.

Who have your bully who uses size to advantage over smaller people, to mask a little willy.

You have your relationship bully, male or female who think its how to act.

Your work or social bully. Again, can be something they didn't realise, or not confident.

You have your out and out scum of a human bully.

generally the only time a bully can be strong is when they admit to needing to fix something and do.

And yes, a bully can be someone who is coercive in a business sense, some might see them as a great change agent, others a bully who brow beat staff to doing what they want. That can be subjective.