Possible slander

This is a delicate situation because it is a family member who has been saying things about me. So far they have only said these things to me alone. These are very serious and nasty things that if they became public would completely destroy my life. They're all false and the creations of a jealous and mentally unwell person.

I would like to make the Gardaí aware of what this person is saying without getting the person in any trouble. I am just afraid that they will get drunk and say it to someone else and then the rumour about me will start spreading. I think it would be wise of me to inform the Gardaí of what this person is saying before this happens.

I do not want them to go in trouble now. I am wondering if anyone can tell me, can I talk to the Gards without naming the person who is saying these things? Can I go in and ask to talk to a Garda because someone is saying very serious things about me? I don't want to be wasting their time. But if this person decided to start shouting about these false claims I could be in serious trouble. But I don't want to actually do anything about it, as I said it's a very delicate situation.

Donald Trump

You cannot be defamed by something that is said directly to you, and only to you.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118817192#Comment_118817192

I'm just wondering if I can inform the Gards that this is being said IN CASE they start saying it somewhere else?

Just try to read the OP before you comment so I don't have to explain it twice.

Strumms

unless a crime has been committed or you have evidence that one is about to be they won’t get involved or entertain you. Because it ‘could’ happen isn’t enough…

Caranica

Defamation is next to impossible to prove and you will need deep pockets. I had video doorbell evidence and was advised not to proceed.

macvin

The police will have zero interest in this as it is a civil matter.

You need to go to a solicitor.

If the family member has a property or any assets, they would be well advised to keep quiet.

If they have no assets, it will be very difficult

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118817231#Comment_118817231

Take your own advice there genius. What do you think is going to happen if you try to report an IMAGINARY AND HYPOTHETICAL, and CIVIL wrong to the Guards because you THINK it might happen. Might the thing that the person was saying about you happen to be that you're a bit slow comprehending advice you were given?

Next week ya can go down and let them know that Mary down the road might drop some litter on the ground the next week.

FYI it is called defamation now in Statute, not slander.

Ash.J.Williams

the gardai will ask you has a crime been committed , you will say no, and then they will look at you until the penny drops and you slowly back away and realise your mistake.

JustJoe7240

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118817501#Comment_118817501

OP has a genuine question in their opinion, No need to be a massive c*nt about it.

Btw using caps like that makes you look like a moron.

AndrewJRenko

Defamation is a civil matter, not criminal, so it is nothing to do with the Gardai.

Unless the person is saying that you’ve committed a criminal offence. Maybe in that scenario, it might be worth having a pre emptive word with them. Though this could be interpreted as an attempt to game the system.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118817521#Comment_118817521

How was I a c*nt about it? I used CAPS because they used CAPS responding to me. I answered their question - there has been no offence committed based on what they said. My only fault was in assuming they had the basic logical capacity to understand the consequences of what I said.

There is no point going to the guards to report to them that an unnamed person might say bold things in the future. The OP has very generously volunteered that they don't want the "perpetrator" to get in trouble right away.

I might go down to the local station later and make a report that some careless fella (whom I won't name to them) might accidentally scratch the car in the parking space beside him at the shopping centre next week. But I will hasten to add that I don't want that anonymous person to get into trouble now 😉

And, to your final point, better to look one than to be one.

Dempo1

OP, The header on your thread is not discribing your situation correctly at all, whilst you may be personally offended, no slander has taken place and nasty comments between relatives is a civil matter and not for Gardai to intervene.

This is clearly a family matter and should be dealt with accordingly by perhaps getting feedback, advice from fellow family members. If that doesn't help resolve the matter you could consider engaging legal advice but as its stands there is no slander or Garda involvement required.

Would the scenario be different if the person is suggesting that I enjoy fiddling with kiddies?

sweetie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118818378#Comment_118818378

I'm sorry you are in this situation. Maybe have a discreet conversation with a Garda as it's potentially a crime you are being accused of but as outlined above they may have no interest in dealing with it.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118818928#Comment_118818928

Thank you, yes I was asking if it is possible to have a word with the Gardaí, as this would be devastating if this mentaller decided to start saying it to other people and not just to me. Otherwise I am literally just waiting, to see if the Gardaí come knocking on my door first. It seems from responses so far that no, it isn't possible to forewarn them.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118818378#Comment_118818378

It depends on whether or not you actually enjoy fiddling with kiddies. In you do, the accused can always raise the defence of truth if you tried to make out a claim for damages under defamation after they had published their statement.

Still nothing to do with the guards on the defamation side of thing.

Guards would only get involved if the person makes a criminal complaint or report to them. At which point you would be investigated - at least to a certain extent. The Guards couldn't ignore such a report I'd imagine. It might be the CFA who'd get involved as well. I don't know. I have no experience in the oul' kiddy fiddling myself

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118819226#Comment_118819226

Do you think I would post on Boards if that was a hobby I was interested in pursuing? I wouldn't know where to find like-minded individuals but I reckon here isn't one of them.

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118818994#Comment_118818994

There’s nothing to stop you from going into a Garda station and asking to speak to a Garda about something that you are concerned about. You can frame it quite honestly as a situation where you are afraid of this person and feel harassed by them. But you might feel a bit comforted. I’m sorry for you. I can’t imagine anything worse then being accused of something so awful.

Claw Hammer

It may be possible to make a compl;aint to the Garda of harassment but you can't make a complaint without the person getting into trouble. You should record the person talking a few times and keep the sound files, make transcripts of them and then send themselves to yourself by registered post. You should keep the envelope, unopened so that you can use it later to show a pattern.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118819629#Comment_118819629

Thanks, and yes I am under the assumption that the only reason they would say this particular thing to me is because it's basically as abhorrent as you can get, as anyone who knows me wouldn't believe it. I have been just rolling my eyes but they started saying something else that does bother me, and it's this change in direction that is worrisome. That's why I might be concerned that they won't just be happy to say it to me, and might want to start saying it to others.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118819629#Comment_118819629

You could do this, but it could be seen as an attempt to interfere with an investigation. There was one case reported recently (abuse of an adult) where yer man called to the station to pre-warn them that they were going to get reports from his 'mad wife' about all the terrible things he was doing to her. In this case, it was because he really was doing all these terrible things to her. So the advance notification could be seen as a pre-emptive tactic.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118820553#Comment_118820553

You can't be serious?

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118820553#Comment_118820553

This is nonsense. Someone who is feeling genuinely harassed doesn’t need to worry about “interfering with an investigation”. There is no investigation. I don’t know where you get these notions.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118820973#Comment_118820973

Exactly, I mean the complete absence of fiddled kids would halt that investigation before it got started.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118820973#Comment_118820973

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118821399#Comment_118821399

Are you sure that there’s no investigation? Are you sure that the lady hasn’t already gone to Gardai alleging that she was abused by the OP?

And you’re advising him to walk into the station and “have a chat “ without the benefit of legal advice, for example?

Tread carefully.

HeidiHeidi

What lady?

TooTired123

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118821834#Comment_118821834

So if I’m in fear of someone who I think is harassing me it’s a bad idea to speak to a Garda?

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058238342/possible-slander

If what they said to you is a lie tell everyone what they said and they will have to deny they said it... then some of you will be tainted as liars...

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118821858#Comment_118821858

It may be a bad idea to speak to the Gardai without taking legal advice first.

laoisgem

This tread is confusing me. What did you say to the person when they accused you of this? Did you ask them what they were basing it on? Did you tell them in no uncertain terms that you wouldn't have this said about you and that you'd take it further if they kept it up etc? Are they mentally unwell? is that why you don't want them to get into trouble? so many questions.....

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118821834#Comment_118821834

Of course there's no investigation, you're just being ridiculous now.

Furze99

What this other family member might say and how it may or may not affect you, depends mostly on your respective credibility amongst your family, neighbours, friends and work colleagues etc.

If everyone basically knows they are a bit of a headcase, they'll take little notice of it.

If they think they are pillars of the community compared to you, you could well be in difficulty.

If they also additionally suspect the allegation may have a ring of truth, you could be in additional difficulty. Regardless of the truth.

So only you know these factors. Make up your mind as to how it might pan out and act accordingly with thought.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118822804#Comment_118822804

How can you be sure?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823036#Comment_118823036

Because i'm sure the Gards would have spoken to me.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823202#Comment_118823202

Gardai will speak to you in their own time. They won't go knocking on your door until they've had some time to do their own checks.

Don't assume that the absence of contact from the Gardai means that there is no allegation made against you.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823222#Comment_118823222

The complete absence of kids means no investigation.

Go talk to a solicitor.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823351#Comment_118823351

How do you know what they might have said about you?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118821855#Comment_118821855

Yes, lines have been drawn where they shouldn't be, but I obviously don't want to go into way too much detail, but to say, what lady?....

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823848#Comment_118823848

It doesn't matter what they said, they would have to produce a child that has been molested in order for an investigation to begin.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823886#Comment_118823886

Sorry, my mistake.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823898#Comment_118823898

Part of the investigation could be seeking to identify or trace a child. If the person HAS made an allegation against you, the investigation begins there. Gardai may try to trace a child. Gardai may choose to interview you. Gardai may send a file to the DPP to decide what happens next. But the investigation starts when the allegation is made.

If you choose to walk into the Garda station while an investigation is happening to talk to them without taking expert legal advice first, you may well do yourself more harm than good.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118823994#Comment_118823994

I think you're just trying to wind me up. You are making some crazy leaps of imagination and running wild with that.

I'm not worried about the Gardaí. The problem is that the morally outraged mob are never concerned about evidence.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118824121#Comment_118824121

Grand so . Best of luck with it.

CrookedJack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118824121#Comment_118824121

I think he might be winding you up a bit here but the general thrust of his argument is sound. I would not speak to the Guards about this before speaking to your solicitor. That should be your general stance on most interactions with the Gardaí.

That said you should try to think about what you'd actually want to get out of speaking with the Gardaí anyway.

To head off any investigation? You won't they'll still investigate the allegations - it'd be negligent not to.

To stop people gossiping? You won't, people will love the scandal and pay no attention to the truth.

To prevent the person making the allegations when they're drunk? Again you won't, they're just trying to damage you.

To make yourself feel less vulnerable? I doubt that will happen either.

Leave it alone I say.

Purple Mountain

If you think the person is under the care of mental health services, could you make a call to their psychiatric doctor/nurse and tell them your situation.

At least then you have it on record and also flag that this person is in downfall.

DFB-D

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118821399#Comment_118821399

Unfortunately, if you were to pre warn the gardai of something like this, it would prompt an investigation. Even if an investigation proceeds no further, it will be disclosed in any garda vetting checks.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118826837#Comment_118826837

Seriously? "Ok so where's the fiddled kiddies?"

"Um, there are none. I just like saying there could be some."

Didn't everyone spend the first page of the thread saying you can't report crimes you think might happen?

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118826910#Comment_118826910

Saying you can't report a crime you think might happen is not the same as saying you can't report a crime you claim happened.

If the person goes to the Guards and says "[Deleted User]" might be going to fiddle with some kids at some stage in the future, then you won't be convicted of anything. They might throw you out of the Scouts but you wouldn't be able to be charged with anything.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118826931#Comment_118826931

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Them saying "I think she might be into kiddie fiddling " while not being able to name a single child I have ever had any real contact with, is the same as saying "Just saying I think it could happen" and isn't going to prompt an investigation. I'm not worried about that.

But outraged rabbles don't really care for evidence. That's the type of stuff that gets your house set on fire. That is the only reason I would care what this family member is saying, and to who.

By the way, even the person who said this to me a number of times doesn't believe it. They just try to say the most shocking and offensive things when they don't feel they're getting their way over you.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118826957#Comment_118826957

Are you actually looking for advice here or do you have all the answers yourself already?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118828178#Comment_118828178

Do you actually have any advice or are you just back on the wind up again?