Dating as an auld wan.

KathleenGrant

Hi everyone. Maybe this is not an appropriate topic for discussion and if not I apologise. I am almost 60 and have been single now for over 2 years. I would very much like to meet someone to spend time with and enjoy interests with. I am finding it very difficult to meet someone. The pub scene is not my thing and anyway I could hardly go to a pub on my own. Dating sites seem to be full of only young people (yeah I know, compared to me they all are) I considered trying First Dates but I had a bad summer last year so didn't go through with it in the end. Also I am quite insecure so any negative feedback about my appearance would upset me.

Any suggestions?

looksee

Hi Kathleen, you are welcome to post here and your topic is fine. I can't help you with the dating scene, but like everything else it is probably suffering from the after effects of Covid, lots of group-type activities have not really come back to life.

I do wonder though if the advice often given to younger people might apply - don't concentrate too much on looking for a date, rather look for contacts and friendships. Have you looked at activities that tend to attract both men and women? It does depend on where you live, and as I said the covid restrictions are still holding things up.

However, do you play bridge? Would you try it? There are online classes available, and even online games (a friend of mine plays online several times a week), until things get back to normal. Do you like to dance? If you are in Dublin, how about something like this https://coisceim.com/classes-fifty-plus/

I don't think evening classes generally are the best way to meet people, but there are other kinds of groups - what are your interests?

KathleenGrant

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118869662#Comment_118869662

Thank you Looksee. Yes I know what you mean about not just looking for a date but to try to extend social contacts. Bridge wouldn't be my thing (not clever enough) but I do like to dance and I will try social dancing. One positive thing lately is that I have joined a walking group. All female but at least it's social interaction which will help with the loneliness. Thank you for your reply.

Mazzz

Hi Kathleen, I had to look up what an "auld wan" was as I'm not from Ireland. Google said 'Aul wan' is slang for 'mother' in the capital and directly translated as 'old one. Hmmmm dunno what I think of that haha

Anyway, I love that TV show First Dates Ireland so why not put yourself forward to star in that? Plenty of older ladies go on it and some appear to have success.

All the best :-)

looksee

Mazzz, as a bit of an aside, on the topic of Irish terms, it used to be asked on the birth of a child 'is is a boy or a child?' thankfully that differentiation faded out. Still though you often hear a random male person referred to as 'yer man' - 'who's your man?' about a stranger in a pub, say, while a woman would be referred to as 'yer one'. Its not exactly offensive but it doesn't convey a great deal of respect!

Jellybaby_1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119031865#Comment_119031865

Over my lifetime 'oul wan' or 'auld wan' or ''oul one' all means older ladies. Let's include the gentlemen shall we, 'auld fella', 'oul fella' or 'auld fella' all mean older men. They don't have to be a mother or father. I see you got that information from irelandbeforeyoudie.com. I'm guessing here but that site might to be written by a young fella. As an 'oul wan from Dublin myself, I can categorically state that the phrase never had anything to do with the word 'mother'. Also a word of warning, some of the language on that site would not be used in polite conversation. 🙂

JuliusCaesar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058239896/dating-as-an-auld-wan

hi Kathleen, it's an unfortunate thing but most social groups tend to be largely female. It seems that we women don't mind joining groups, whereas men think joining a group is for losers. I used run an over 40s social group as part of a dating site, and the women would be busy chatting away, while men lurked in the sidelines looking on. Eventually, after a couple of drinks, they'd loosten up and join in and a great time was had by all. But as far as I know, very few dates resulted. It seemed that either men wanted much younger women, or they wanted a housekeeper/bedmate. The good news is that at about 53 I met a man on an international dating site, and we've been married 5 years now - but I had to cast my net wider than Ireland. It was a better alternative for me than joining a golf club. I've never met a man keen on golf that I could get on with :D

I'd check out MeetUp and Eventbrite if I were you.

But if you actually like golf...