Child doesn't want to eat meat

sekond

(I was trying to decide whether to put this in the parenting forum or here, but I figured I might get some perspectives I hadn't considered here)

My 10 year old daughter has been becoming increasingly reluctant to eat meat. Started with sausages, progressed to leaving most of the meat from a dish on her plate, and at the weekend finally refused point blank to eat roast pork. She says she doesn't want to eat animals anymore.

In theory, I have no major issues with that (on closer discussion, it's mostly at the moment around meat that feels more 'animal like' to her - so chunks of meat, roast etc; bolognese-type meals, bacon and fish appear to be ok, although I suspect as she gets her head around this more, some of that may change). She has always been very focused on animals, so her taking this stance isn't exactly surprising.

But. I'm a die-hard omnivore. I admit I could probably do with eating less meat. I quite like the occasional vegetarian meal, and I'm willing to support her. But the whole family will not be going fully vegetarian. I also work full time in a fairly full-on job, have a fairly full plate with the kids, relatives I help out, and trying to carve out a bit of time for myself. I'm not going to be in a position to cook two separate dinners every day.

So I'm looking for advice - partly on how to make things easier from a practical point of view for cooking - tonight's meal was due to be chicken curry. Grocery shopping was done before her announcement yesterday. So I'm adding chickpeas to the curry and just serving her the chickpeas and none of the chicken. I know most vegetarian's would be appalled at that idea, but I'm trying to work with baby steps here. Also, for thoughts on where we go from here. As I said, I'm happy to support her, but also, she's 10 and 10 year olds can't always get their way on everything.

If she's 10 she isn't old enough to help with shopping and cooking, but she's certainly old enough to help with planning and prep. Give her some reasonable parameters and encourage her to figure it out, at least for one meal a week. "If I'm making X meal on Thursday, and you don't want to eat meat, what can I add to your dinner so you'll still get X amount of protein?". Let her look stuff up, or get books from the library, to figure it out. Obviously there's more to it than just protein, but it's a good starting point for her to start researching nutrition.

For yourself, I'd recommend having some meat substitutes on hand for convenience. Meat substitutes are by no means a necessity for vegetarians, but if you're used to cooking meals centered around meat, you're already making a non-veggie dinner and you've a hectic schedule, they can be very handy. If sausages are on the menu, Quorn sausages are great. Tesco are doing some of the Sons of Butchers range which I've been pleasantly surprised by (their chicken pieces are probably the best fake chicken I've ever tried). Lidl do great vegan sausage rolls (probably not the best nutritionally, but they do taste very nice). I wouldn't call tofu a meat substitute but it's certainly something you can throw on a pan very easily if you were doing a stir fry or similar.

The two main drawbacks with meat substitutes are (a) they're expensive and (b) they never taste exactly like meat. I'd happily eat a plate of veg for dinner, but put a veggie patty in front of me and tell me it's a burger, I'll never be totally satisfied because my brain is still looking around the plate for the burger. I'd definitely recommend over time, building balanced veggie dishes without relying on meat substitutes. Honestly a chickpea curry sounds great.

Ladybird25

Hi, I think you are doing great by adding chickpeas instead of the chicken, don't you think you are appalling anyone. The best thing is to get more beans and pulses into the diet when reducing meat and she definitely will get her head around what's animal's products and what's not in due time.

For meals I suggest to involve her a bit in a batch cooking day in what would be her protein side of the meals for the week, even if you can get to cook enough to freeze some protein sides for the future so you don't have to cook two meals at a time. I recommend to have a look at natural vegetarian meals as red lentil dhal, chickpea curry... Everyone can eat it and you can freeze a bit on the side for her for future meals where you may eat meat yourself. If you do bolognese, chilli or even lasagna you can used texturized soya instead of mince meat (look in Holland & Barrett for this, they are dried and hold very well in the cupboard), so everyone can eat it and no need to cook two dishes.

Tofu I find can be a great friend as well, if you are doing steaks or something like that for the rest, just can add some tofu in the pan for herself (you can buy it marinated already to make life easier on your side in Tesco or Aldi, plain tofu available in Lidl). Include some hummus into your regular shopping as well if you don't already. It's really not such a big job to find a way to replace the protein in her dishes but it may take a bit of time to find the right one.

I would try to avoid processed vegetarian products as much as possible but it is very handy to have some of the frozen one in store for the odd occasion when you're out of ideas.

There is a learning curve alright, but well done for getting on board with your daughter's wishes. Not every child can say their parents supported them in this sense.

Bass Reeves

There is another factor. 10 years of age is very young to be making lifestyle choices. It's partly due to outside factors of brainwashing from the internet and peer pressure

Protein is a very small factor in a diet. Children of that age need an balanced diet. Nutrients are the important as well. Meat and dairy is not just providing protein but many minerals vitamin and base elements for bones etc.

Make sure when you offer her a vegetarian dish that she has access to what the rest of the family of at as well. Vegan dishes can be very bland. If at all he same time the family is eating a roast chicken or lamb dinner the smell can often change minds

magicbastarder

eggs will contain some of the nutrients she'd previously have been getting from meat, so no harm to use more eggs.

i wouldn't see it as brainwashing, a friend's daughter did the same thing at the same age a couple of years ago; the parents are excellent cooks so were easily able to adapt; but their daughter came to the conclusion of her own accord. partly from them owning two dogs, she started wondering why was it OK to eat some animals but not others, etc., and just formed a distaste of the idea of eating an animal. must ask them how she's getting on now, and what they found easiest to do to accommodate her requests.

sekond

Thanks everyone, some useful thoughts - especially around the naturally vegetarian meals and adding meat for those of us who want it, rather than necessarily trying to replace/take out the meat.

If she was a bit older and in the teen years I might have thought that there was a bit of peer pressure/internet pressure involved. But the only online activity she has other than some gaming, is watching videos of cute (and, in my view, not so cute - she has a slight fascination with spiders) animals. None of her friends are vegetarian. She's a fairly stubborn child and once she has an idea, she tends to stick to it - a few years ago she decided that the shorts in the boys section are more comfortable and better fitting (longer leg, not as tight as in the girls section), so that is the only place she will wear shorts from.

She isn't a huge fan of eggs on their own, but quite happy to have them in things, so I'll increase the amount I use. I am aware of the various nutrient issues, but as she isn't planning on going vegan, and is still happy to eat fish, we should be ok on that front.

Her teenage sister is making macaroni cheese for us all tonight - I must remind her to add the bacon at the end....

livingdgx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118956616#Comment_118956616

I went pescatarian when I was 14 and full vegan by 15. Something is starting to click with her and you should encourage it, there’s no health risks associated with mostly plant based diets, they’re actually the epitome of health. Your man upstairs has no idea what he’s on about. Protein is a full 9 amino acid profile which is found in essentially every plant food. The only people who need to increase protein in their diet are body builders.

fish is a decent one to start with, you shouldn’t increase her egg consumption as that carries risks of high cholesterol. If you’re worried about protein, make sure she eats a lot of legumes and try to add seeds to increase efficiency, and don’t buy too much of that fake meat stuff. Soya milk is a good addition for high the amino acid profile, they have flavoured like chocolate and strawberry