RTÉ journalist found guilty of sexually assaulting woman as she slept

John Doe1

I dont mean to judge but the victim sounds like someone with very low levels of resilience, she tried to kill herself because after both agreeing to engage in sexual activity, the man who was drunk felt her up while sleeping in an attempt to wake her up.

I had a women full on grab my crotch in temple bar a few weeks back without my consent, I wasnt attracted to her and would have preferred it didnt happen but i have barely thought about it since.

Fair enough, you should confront him and warn your friends against him telling them he is a bit creepy but bringing him to court is surely a massive overreaction?

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073290#Comment_119073290

do you touch her shoulder...?

Burt Renaults

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119072662#Comment_119072662

Alternatively, get consent before you grope the tits of a woman you barely know, rather than doing it after she's gone asleep. Get up on her when/if she wants you to get up on her, not while she's asleep. Problem solved. It's amazing how uncomplicated these things can be.

Unsurprising that so many freaks on here think that getting a woman's consent before feeling her up is somehow "woke" or "virtue signaling".

Faugheen

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073420#Comment_119073420

They’ll start banging on about what a turn off it is followed by sarcastically saying if a contract has to be written up etc.

Same ones are also likely to say that those who understand consent are the ones who never get any and are virgins etc, when they clearly have zero idea about sex themselves.

bigmac3

Jesus Christ, how did this guy not get a written contract before he even spoke to her? He’s completely clueless, letting her into his house, then into his bed. Guy was so stooopid.

~Rebel~

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073406#Comment_119073406

What happened to you wasn't right. So take that as a starting point, and then elevate it to the few levels above to what she experienced.

Think about it this way. We all know what waking up after being drunk feels like - you're confused and discombobulated at the best of times. Now imagine waking up feeling like that to find what is effectively a stranger in that moment, with his full weight on top of you, groping you sexually. Not only is what is happening fairly horrible, but the full and total instant awareness that your control in this situation is now gone - he's already demonstrated that he's willing to do whatever he wants with you, and already has total physical control over you. That's terrifying. Even when he has the good grace to stop after you freak out, that's the stuff of ptsd.

It's just a fücked up situation to put someone in.

John Doe1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073427#Comment_119073427

Why is what I experienced less serious? because im a man?

Also, This wasn't a stranger but a friend according to the article.

The risk factor of further escalation after the groping is surely lowered in that case as they likely have friends in common and she has the power to ruin his reputation in their social circle.

The guy is a creep but the women has made a mountain out of a molehill here. There are gradations of sexual assault, This is not a gangrape or wartime rape, this is a drunken fumble between friends where the guy got the horn again after failing to perform previously and wanted to wake her up.

~Rebel~

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073438#Comment_119073438

What? No... it's because you described a completely different situation. As I said, what happened to you was not at all ok. What happened to her was also not ok. They were both violations. In her case though, she was not even conscious when the violation occurred, and awoke to find her physical control of the situation absolutely 100% gone. He's stronger than her, and he was already on top of her, groping her. The total and complete lack of control, of having your autonomy of the situation removed, and the terror that comes with that, is what leads to more extreme trauma.

Your comment about their mutual friends is absolutely nuts though - most sexual assaults (73%) are carried out by people known to the victim.

And you're right, there are gradations of sexual assault (though I entirely disagree with your description of the event), and sentencing will likely reflect that. Where's the issue there?

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073427#Comment_119073427

She may have had some kind of trauma in the past that aggravated what happened. I don't know. Something stood out.

But I think he knows he did wrong. The 'agree to disagree' thing in the article stood out as really...odd. As did him getting 'character witness statements'... that just seems creepy and odd. Especially when he admitted wrongdoing. I know character statements are becoming more normalised, but I tend to think they'd be more relevant for a non-sexual assault related case. It read too much like a 'deferral' thing.

As others have noted, when she went to sleep, consent was over. And he clearly did try and wake her up. But when she didn't wake up, he just went ahead, without her consent. I think he knew then that was wrong, but carried on. There were ways to initiate things, and the best way would have been to make sure she was awake. Even pull the 'I woke you up to ask what you wanted for breakfast' line, and then initiate intimacy.

If he was genuinely interested in her as a person, he would have been far more considerate. As is, the jury agreed with her.

Burt Renaults

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073438#Comment_119073438

If only it was possible to wake someone up without either getting on top of them or groping them. Why is that so complicated?

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073084#Comment_119073084

Strange, I don’t see where I expressed sympathy for him. But go ahead and twist everyone’s words again, as usual.

walshb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058246126/rte-journalist-found-guilty-of-sexually-assaulting-woman-as-she-slept

This could potentially happen to any man. This is not Jack the Ripper. I have sympathy for both of them. The woman waited a year, though she must have been suffering to then feel compelled to report it. Drink, frolics, he said she said…sad case all round. To lose everything for his error seems too much. Chap comes across as decent. Circumstances that any man could find himself in has led to this.

thefallingman

Plenty of men woken up by women performing fellatio, seems an odd case but hard to judge without knowing all the facts

Potential-Monke

I better ring up my ex and apologise for 3+ years of kissing her forehead before leaving for work in the mornings. I know better now. No more sexual assault from me.

CramCycle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073382#Comment_119073382

Kudos. This back and forth has been entertaining and educational. I'm glad you were able to articulate why fondling someone while asleep because you 'felt horny' was ok, I personally would have never been able to understand without your robust but nuanced points.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073427#Comment_119073427

While you are correct. I'd imagine the effect of it would depend on the recipient of the unwanted attention. That is not to blame someone for their reaction. Some might brush it off and some might be completely freaked out.

My point pertains to this though. If you were really freaked out and upset, I would consider it a little unusual that you would stay there unless you were afraid of the perpetrator to the extent that you did not feel safe to try to leave. Which may have happened although it wasn't indicated in the article.

If it was a bed in your own city which was not your bed, and it was the first time you were staying there, and there was a possibly drunk creep lying beside you who was already after assaulting you and upsetting you greatly, would you be able to go back asleep? Would out-the-door-and-taxi not be a more normal reaction? Perhaps it was only later when thinking about it that she got upset.

And before the white knights jump in. I am not condoning your man's behaviour at all.

As presented this conviction appears to be wrong. However we are dealing with the report of a journalist here, article may be more geared to generating outrage and clicks than reporting accurately

Mad_maxx

let this be a lesson to any guy who finds himself scoring with a woman in a nightclub , she is in to him there , goes home with him , hops into his bed , happy to get jiggy in his bed , then starts acting the b0ll0x and begins apparently loosing interest , kick her out of the house there and then , anything that went before is now irrelevant and you have no business leaving her in youre bed overnight

what an absolute ghoul of a human to ruin his life like that

Gusser09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073420#Comment_119073420

She consented though by engaging in foreplay earlier?

Of course the guy was wrong. But a conviction for sexual assault? Its ott. This was a misunderstanding. Nothing more.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073100#Comment_119073100

" she woke up and he was feeling her up "

so she claims , yeah ?

the dopey fool sang like a bird to the guards , that was his mistake , he should never even have agreed to meet up with her afterwards " to discuss it " , thats what you get from hanging around RTE , he drank the WOKE aid whole and now the lads life is ruined

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073637#Comment_119073637

The article indicates there were texts in the aftermath. He might have apologised or something in the texts

walshb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073394#Comment_119073394

There is a wee bit more nuance and context to it than just “she was unconscious.”

this is the big problem in society now between people and sex, intimacy and consent: ridiculously blurred lines and a complete lack of balance, compromise, common sense and objectivity.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073592#Comment_119073592

I'd better do that too.

I mean I should call your ex and apolgise. Atlhough in fairness, I was usually leaving in a hurry before you got home from your shift.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073340#Comment_119073340

If he woke up in the night and found he was fondling his own balls he would be straight down to the Gaurds to bring charges against himself.

maestroamado

Can this decision be appealed as it seems bad decision from what i read...

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073662#Comment_119073662

Did it not say he accepted he did wrong?

StevenToast

RTE is getting a reputation for sexual deviants

johnnyskeleton

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119072688#Comment_119072688

This isnt a case of withdrawing consent i.e. initially consenting, change of mind and he stops. This is a case where he had sex with her while she was asleep and she woke up during it. Someone fast asleep is not consenting to sex (bar some unusual set of circumstances) and more importantly everyone knows this. For most people, having sex with an unconscious person is not reasonable and respectable. The fact that he stopped when she woke up is, I suppose, better than him continuing to rape her, but it doesnt mean that his actions prior to that are reasonable or respectable.

Besides, as it says in the article he accepts the jurys verdict. So even he acknolwedges he did wrong.

maestroamado

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073667#Comment_119073667

Thats not in the atticle posted here...

walshb

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119073679#Comment_119073679

Where in the article does it say he raped her?

I cannot see where it says he had intercourse with her whilst she was asleep/not consenting.

sexual assault is mentioned. The word rape is not mentioned!