What’s wrong with me please help

There is something wrong with me. I have a problem with food, my weight and body. 

I’ve had this problem since I was 15 and I am now 34 and it’s taken me many years to finally admit to myself I do.

I was sexual abused as a child from the age of 10-14 and to cope during and after the abuse for 14 years I turned to food to cope until I finally came forward at the age of 28 and at my heaviest I was 25 stone and my lowest was 10 and half stone. My current weight is 12 and half stone.

After 6 years after coming forward I was in Dublin at the criminal court of justice and my abuser was found guilty on 7 counts and sentenced to 6 and half years in jail in January.  

I don’t have any family it’s just me as my family wanted nothing got to do with me as what happened to me as it brought them shame and we haven’t spoken since 2015 

I eat to much to have a pain in my head so I can’t think about what I went through. I make myself sick or something I through up in the toilet. 

I buy food and throw it away or sometimes starve myself as long as possible or sometimes when in a supermarket I will walk around with food I want to buy until I’m done with it and put it back on the shelf and leave. I cannot control myself or stop with food. 

I feel anxious, depressed 

It’s taken nearly 20 years but I’m asking for help because I can’t cope anymore.

I made an appointment with my doctor but it’s not till Wednesday hopefully he can help.

goldenmick

You've done the right thing - albeit somewhat late - by finally getting medical help.

It's only a few days until your GP appointment so just calm yourself down a little until then. Make sure you tell him/her EVERYTHING you've just wrote on here.

In the meantime keep OFF this thread. One thing you certainly don't need is advice from a load of unqualified strangers. Your medical practitioner is the one who will give the correct advice, and probably refer you for further support elsewhere as well.

Good luck.