How much to put in for wedding nowadays

Xidu

Hi all,

I have 4 weddings to attend this year. So just wanna get an idea of how much should put in as a family of 4.

1. for my brother in laws wedding
2. for cousin’s wedding

would €600 for brother in law and €500 for cousin be ok? This is my maximum budget. That’s like €2200 in total.

all 4 weddings will be in Ireland and we pay for hotel room. Plus dresses and suits so it would about €3500 maximum as the man can wear the same suits. 😜

thanks all

Explosive_Cornflake

It's more than I'd put in for cousins.

Brother in law, depends how close ye are.

Jim_Hodge

I think you're being extremely generous there, in both cases.

Xidu

I heard from colleagues they putting €200 for friends so family of 4, €400 for the adults and €100 for each child as they all count as when they pay for the meal?

really out of date of how much to put in as I haven’t attend any wedding for at least 5 years.

all these weddings were supposed to happen during covid but got pushed out.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Are we talking two different brothers-in-law and two different cousins here, totaling the four weddings?

And you're a family of four, two adults x 200 euro each plus 2 kids x 100 each totalling 600 for the each brother in law totalling 1200 in gifts forc those two weddings?

I'd be giving a lump-sum on behalf of the family rather than doing maths like that.

Masala

I would expect that a Meal including welcome drinks and tea/ coffee later would be approx €100 a head min. So to cover the Couple for extras etc ..... I would give €150 a head. I reckon anyone getting married would be happy if they covered the wedding costs with the cash gifts..... the honey moon is their own savings !! Cute Cavan man answer!

OEP

I think 100 is more than enough. I'm getting married in a few weeks and wouldn't expect anymore than that from anyone, including brothers, close friends etc.

Xidu

Yes 2 in laws weddings

and 2 cousins weddings

Leg End Reject

€500 for brother in law and €300 for cousin max. Kids meals are cheaper and that's more than generous when you add up all the other costs.

I'd be wearing the same outfit to 2 weddings too, it wouldn't bother me who remembered. Alternatively buy separates that you can mix and match for different weddings and one bag/pair of shoes that can be worn to all the weddings. Try charity and secondhand shops, at least for the kid's clothes as wedding style outfits were probably only worn once.

Then think of the holiday you could have had with all the money and cry.

EmmetSpiceland

We weren’t even giving gifts like that during the good times.

Xidu

I had suits bought from Tom Murpy surprisingly for my son it was €150 covered everything including shirt, suit and shoes, bow tie.

but I have a feeling it won’t fit him by end of this year. 😩

the girl has 2 dresses bought.

the man can wear same for the 4 weddings.

as long as my budget doesn’t look stingy to today’s rate I am happy.

the 2 brother in laws are always good to my kids, we don’t see each other that much but they don’t forget kid’s birthdays and communions and confirmation.

good uncles in general.

2 cousins aren’t that close, only meet up for Xmas dinner that kind of stuff.

but all maintaining a good relationship.

OEP

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119129422#Comment_119129422

I misread your message and didn't read the family of 4 bit - but 400 for all of you is definitely enough, and if your children are young you can reduce that further.

Xidu

Kids are 10 and 13

but 2 brother in laws are the god-fathers and they are good to kids.

never missed a birthday or Xmas presents.

Xander10

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119129466#Comment_119129466

Seems more than enough to me. I have a family invite to an overseas wedding and between flights and apartments, clothes, incidental costs such as renewing passports etc, it's racking up a fair sum before any gift.

I'm coming around to thinking it's selfish to organise big overseas weddings.

Xidu

Oversea weddings can be costly and stressful honestly.

my colleague was talking about a co-work invited him for a USA wedding and he is going.

but he kind of treat it like a holiday.

so it might be worth it.

but to a family yes it’s a bit burden.

Leg End Reject

It's awful that guests feel they have to 'cover' the cost of their plate. Realistically, the couple should cover all costs and be grateful for any gifts they receive, yet we all get in a tizzy worrying about the 'going rate' for christenings, communions, confirmations and weddings.

hayse

A just eat voucher or petrol voucher for €50. That’s plenty.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119129517#Comment_119129517

I take it you don't get invited to much so???

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119129477#Comment_119129477

They will likely have kids of their own and you can return their generosity then, but it shouldn't oblige you to give them extortionate wedding gifts.

Capt'n Midnight

AH answer. If you don't go to the wedding they'd save a small fortune on the hotel and bar bill. Everyone wins !

It depends on their status. If they need money always give money. If they don't need money try for memories either of the past or something that will give them memories.

hayse

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119129565#Comment_119129565

It’s my presence not my present they look for.

sam t smith

100 squids a head, max.

€600 feels like an odd number to me. If I were you I'd leave it at €500, in all cases.

OEP

Again thinking about my wedding coming up, I have nieces and I would not expect my brother to contribute for them. I think anyone who's a student / child is exempt from presents. You'll have to pay for accommodation and maybe buy outfits for them as it is.

gameoverdude

I don't understand this covering costs stuff for weddings. It's not a business deal. You're being invited. If they can't afford it, registry's office. Of course I'd give something (weddings are a summons to me, but in saying that I'm getting married next year, but expect nothing and want nothing except good company) but if its an expectation then I'd consider it a shallow money grab. Wedding for profit.

Senature

I think IF you can afford it €200 total is generous for cousin and €3-400 for brother in law is also plenty.

Don't even consider the wedding costs, you are not buying a ticket.

Jim_Hodge

The point is that you're giving a gift. You are not paying for the cost of the wedding or your participation in it. You are an invited guest. You could just as easily have bought a physical gift instead of giving money. Trying to make it a contribution to the costs is a daft idea.

touts

What's wrong with a toaster? Everyone needs a toaster. And you probably have a couple in the attic from your wedding.

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130102#Comment_119130102

Unless it’s a four slice, don’t bother.

Xidu

I think nowadays people just give cash rather than presents.

I had my wedding back in 2008, I got half presents which I have never used, like crusts candle holders, Crystal wineglasses, clocks I mean so many clocks in different styles😁 they all from my parents generation relatives.

but I have never used them seriously I think they are just sitting in attic waiting to become antique

so I think it’s easier and practical to give cash as they have to spent a lot to host the wedding and cash would help them to pay for stuff.

Mad_maxx

Got married myself a few months ago, thought guests were very generous but the OP is being overly generous

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130102#Comment_119130102

Kettle. Both of us would be delighted with that as we go through them for some strange reason.

Jesus i gave e100 at a cousins wedding recently and felt it was a lot

Who do be giving 5 and 600,are people shítting money😳😳

Xidu

I remembered 5 years ago colleagues wedding we were already giving 150e 😫😫

hayse

Underwear makes a nice present. Essential item, just not used for obvious reasons

Still stihl waters 3

200 is plenty for anyone

Icsics

€150

NSAman

It all depends,on the relationship. Heading back to Ireland for a wedding next year. My god daughter. Yes it’s going to be expensive with flights etc. But it’s family.

obviously I have known her all her life. My partner for the past 15 years. She has been very close to us and her future husband is a rock. Needless to say €100 isn’t suitable. There will be other members of my family there and it will be a rather large wedding.

the rule with us is the following:

friends/acquaintances €300

family depending on closeness:€500-1000

close family:€1000+

everyone has to make a decision based on their ability. There are no hard and fast rules.

a wedding last year saw a rule from the bride and groom (very close friends) said no presents, your presence is all we want.. our friends.

this of course was never going to happen, and despite protests, my partner and I bought them something that they had wanted for a long time (always listen to what people want). It,doesn’t have to be expensive but if it is something that has meaning and you know the people involved well, it says more than money.

cuttingtimber22

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130803#Comment_119130803

I bet you get invited to lots of weddings.

hayse

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130828#Comment_119130828

I’d safely say you don’t either.

cuttingtimber22

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130845#Comment_119130845

Why the need to be personal and nasty?

the other poster is very generous and I said that tongue in cheek.

NSAman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130828#Comment_119130828

We get invited to lots of things, weddings are my least favourite 😜

next invitation is to a child naming ceremony in Southern Europe. A good friend is naming his child and has invited us to be the “sponsors” never done this before so looking forward to it, different culture, different tradition. Tis going to be a hard trek…8000 mile flight but a nice holiday as well.. 😀

hayse

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130860#Comment_119130860

Ah relax will you, snowflake.

cuttingtimber22

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130876#Comment_119130876

Sounds great. It is quite privileged to attend different traditions.

Not a great fan of weddings either - grand but one or two a year max.

Xidu

wow close family €1000 plus

and I would love to be that generous but I guess we are not that rich yet.

mind ask your finance situation allow u to spend that much, right?

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119130880#Comment_119130880

More insults. Catch yourself on: it's neither clever nor funny.

Liberty_Bear

Ive given €50 for a wedding :)

Atlantic Dawn

Depends on the wedding, if it's a pure shakedown money raising wedding (250 plus guests), I will give €100. If it's a normal sized wedding €150.

Xidu

3 of them are 200-220 guests

1 of them is 150 guests

Dial Hard

I can't believe your cousins invited your kids to their weddings. That's madness. I certainly didn't invite my cousins' kids to mine. I didn't even invite all my cousins, actually.

Xander10

Do the bride and groom make a note of who gave what?

I'd imagine only a particular stingy or generous donation would be remembered.